“Aaahhh!”
“Pinkie!?”
“Yes, Spike?”
“Why did you just scream?”
“Well I know you heard that scream from outside and when someone screams it makes me scream because screaming is scary and you scream when you are scared.”
The look of pure confusion on the little dragon’s face was quite distinguished. However, it was not as distinguished as the wide eyed look of innocence Pinkie was wearing. Spike, who was considering getting actual help for his partying pink pal for nearly the third time in five minutes, brought one of his small claws close to his head and promptly smacked it against his face.
“Ooh! Ooh! Is this a game!? I love games!”
Before he could react, Pinkie jumped over Spike so that his back was facing her. She then grabbed the dragon whelp’s claws in her own hooves and started smacking Spike’s face with them.
“Why are you hitting yourself!? Why are you hitting yourself!? Why are you hitting yourself!?”
Spike, now even more confused then before and still trying to adjust to Pinkie’s fast pace of living, was too stunned to stop her from smacking his face with his own claws. Finally, the situation dawned on him and Pinkie’s antics started to annoy him.
“Pinkie?” He asked calmly, while still under the barrage of his own claws.
“Why are you hitting yourself!? Why are you....Yes, Spike?”
“......Please stop.”
“Okie Doki Loki.”
Pinkie finally let go of Spike’s claws, which were turning slightly red due to the constant impacts with his face. Spike’s face, by the way, was also red; not because of the hitting, but because of the anger he was desperately trying to suppress in his tiny dragon body.
“Spike?”
Looking over at Pinkie, who had somehow moved back behind the store counter, Spike saw that she was looking at him with a look of actual confusion.
“What is it Pinkie.”
Instead of answering, Pinkie once again leapt into the air, this time leaving a trail of confetti coming from who knows where. From the air, she looked down and locked onto her target. As she began her descent to the floor she began uttering the war chant of her people.
“Why are you hitting yourself!? Why are you hitting yourself!? Why are you...”
Just as the pink missile was about to crash into its target, said target calmly moved one step to the left, causing Pinkie to miss. Every pony in Sugarcube Corner watched as the mare they knew as Pinkie Pie crashed into the floor. However, the one dragon in the bakery simply looked down at the hole his friend had created and sighed. Soon enough, like a zombie rising from its grave, Pinkie emerged from the hole in the floor and started laughing.
“Well that was fun, wasn’t it Spike? I mean, you thought I had a question, but instead it was just a sneak attack! Ooh, and then the crash! Did you see that!? I mean look at this whole, it’s so...”
“Pinkie?”
“Spike?”
“Pinkie Promise you won’t ever do that again.”
“But it was so much fun and I...”
“Pinkie.”
“Alrighty. Cross my heart and hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye.”
Doing her usual routine of movements for a Pinkie Promise while still in the whole, Pinkie couldn’t help but notice Spike’s annoyed look.
“Well, Spike. That’s not a very happy face. Was it something that I.....”
Just like earlier, the conversation was interrupted by another scream coming from outside the bakery. Spike, knowing what this meant, quickly jumped into the hole and on top of Pinkie Pie. The smart little dragon wasted no time in grabbing her muzzle with his claws and holding them shut. Pinkie, hearing another pony scream, did what she had been known to do in this situation: scream louder. However, when she went to do so, she found her muzzle held shut by Spike, resulting in a very scared puff of air from her nose. Realizing that his job was done, Spike jumped off Pinkie and out of the hole in the floor, leaving the Pink mare by herself. Spike, being the gentledrake that he was, lent a claw out to Pinkie to help her up. Instead of taking Spike’s claw, Pinkie decided to jump out of the hole on her own accord and landed atop of Spike.
“P...pinkie? P...please get off me.”
“Whatever you day, Mr.Dragon man.” Pinkie joked as she hopped off Spike. Getting up, the small dragon breathed in a heavy breath of air and got himself together once more.
“Look, Pinkie. Maybe we should go investigate those screams.”
“Why investigate them? We both knew I was the one who screamed. But it’s okay, remember. You stopped the last one. Thanks for that and...”
“I mean the ones that made you scream.”
“Ooooooh, yeah we should probably do that. Somepony may be seriously hurt.”
Deciding to ignore how Pinkie said that with a huge smile on her face, Spike led the charge and ran out the door of Sugarcube Corner. Looking around, he could see multiple ponies crowded around something. Wanting to get a better look at what was going on, Spike hopped on top of Pinkie and peered over the crowd of ponies. He saw then that a hooded figure was in a tug of war with Granny Smith.
“Gosh darnit, youngin! Hand me back my satchel!”
However, instead of fulfilling the old mare’s orders, the mysterious pony took one more giant tug on the purse, breaking it free of Granny Smith’s grip. This caused her to fall back onto the road, which in turn caused ponies to come help her up. Taking their opportunity, the assailant spread a pair of light blue wings and flew over the crowd. Many ponies didn’t realize this, for they were all concentrated on Granny Smith. However, Spike indeed saw the pegasus escape and had no intentions of letting them go.
“Stop, thief!” He yelled, while pumping his fist into the air. Reverting to adventure mode, Spike roughly kicked Pinkie in her side, causing her to take off suddenly after the hooded pony. Said pony, who thought they had made a clean getaway, slowed down to a gentle drift. That being said, they were surprised when they heard a childish voice telling them to stop. Looking back, they saw a small dragon riding a bouncing pink mare coming after them. Cursing herself for her unawareness, they flapped their wings as hard as they could and flew through the town’s many streets.
Not giving up on the pursuit, Spike and Pinkie followed the thief, turning every way they turned and jumping every time they jumped. Soon enough, the duo started to close the gap between them and the hooded figure, who was desperately trying to speed up. However, lucky for the unknown pony, the town border was coming up and the Everfree Forrest was just ahead. Making a final chance for freedom, the thief flapped their wings one more time and dove for the dark forest. However, Spike saw this coming and let out a small fireball where the pony was going to land. The pony had no choice but to avoid the flame and pull back to a stop. Using the opportunity, Spike jumped off Pinkie and crashed onto the hooded pony. Looking down, Spike was shocked to see who the thief was.
“P...pinkie!?”
Spike looked down to see that he had landed on top of the pink mare who he had just been previously riding in a high-speed chase.
“B...but how?”
“What do you mean how, silly?”
“How are you the thief!? We were just chasing after them together!”
“Yes, we were. Then you made them stop with you cool fire breath and jumped after them. But then you hit a tree and fell back on top of me.”
Spike eyes narrowed and his face gained a deep scowl. Frustrated in every way with himself, the young dragon once again smacked his face with his own claw. Realizing his mistake, Spike fearfully looked down at Pinkie who was smiling creepily up at him.
“Spiiike?”
“Y...yes, Pinkie?”
“WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF!?”
This time, before Pinkie could get behind him, Spike did the only sensible thing to do in this situation. Stopping Pinkie from using his own limbs as a weapon, Spike brought his claws to his mouth and bit tightly down on them. Spike let out a tiny whimper and a single tear left his right eye. Dragons may have tough scales, but they also have very very sharp teeth.
Pinkie, who was planning on once again slapping Spike with his own claws, was a little disappointed at the scene before her.
“That’s cheating, Spike! How can I smack you if I can’t use my smackers.”
“That’s the point, Pinkie.” Spike mumbled through his claws. “Anyways, whoever that was got away, so we should probably go tell the police what we saw.”
“And what did we see exactly?”
“Well, we know they’re a pegasus. They had light blue wings. They looked slightly smaller, so I’m guessing it was a mare.”
“Hey, you know who that sounds like?”
“Who, Pinkie?”
“Rainbow Dash.”
“Actually, it kind of does, but we both know that couldn’t be her. For one, she’s not a thief. Two, she could fly a lot faster than that. If that was really Rainbow, she would have lost us in a second.”
“I guess you’re right, but what if...”
“It wasn’t Rainbow Dash, okay Pinkie!”
Instantly, Spike felt awful for yelling at Pinkie Pie. Sure, he was starving and the pony’s actions were getting on his nerves, but it was still no way to treat a friend. Turning around, Spike expected to see Pinkie tearing up and her lips quivering. However, what he didn’t expect to see was her smiling and smiling deviously at that. Before, he could think about what was going on, a familiar voice came from behind him.
“You sure about that, squirt?”
Turning around again, Spike saw Rainbow Dash leaning against a tree, wearing the hood of the pony they had been chasing. He also noticed that in one hoof she held Granny Smith’s purse, but in the other she held a rope that went up the length of the tree. Quickly following where the rope lead, he saw that it went around a branch high into the tree and came back down again onto the forrest floor. Staring downward, Spike saw the rope ended with a knot and a hole that went around his feet. Realizing what this meant for him, Spike slowly looked up at Rainbow Dash.
“Rainbow, don’t you even....”
Not that surprisingly, Rainbow didn’t let the poor dragon finish before she yanked hard on the rope she was holding. Spike knew he was doomed as the hole in the rope beneath his feet tightened around his ankles and pulled him up into the air as the rope slid up. Rainbow Dash tied her end of the rope to a root of the tree that was sticking up from the ground. She sighed a satisfied sigh as she hovered over to Pinkie and the two admired their work.
“Let me guess,” Spike began, hanging upside down from the tree. “Pinkie was in on this the whole time.”
“Yeppers.” Pinkie responded cheerfully.
“And the two of you planned this whole thing out?”
“You bet.” Rainbow said smugly.
“And Granny Smith was in on this too? So she isn’t going to get in touch with the police or worse, Applejack.”
“Well, of course she.......isn’t.” Pinkie said quietly.
Rainbow, who was chuckling to herself stopped laughing when she heard her pink friend say this.
“Wait, what? Pinkie! I told you to get Granny Smith on board!”
“I know! I know! I’m sorry, Rainbow. I got distracted.”
“By what!?”
“Well, I was on my way to tell Granny Smith when I ran into this mare and she fell to the ground. I helped her up and when I looked at her I saw she was pink. And then I remembered I pink and then I looked back at her and I realized I bumped into a mirror.”
“.........”
“Are you mad, Dashie?”
“....No Pinkie, I’m not mad. Let’s just, uh, go return this to Granny Smith.”
“Okie Doki Loki!”
As the pair left to return Granny Smith’s purse, Spike spoke up once again.
“Hey, guys! You can’t just leave me here!”
“Don’t worry, Spike!” Rainbow called back. “We’ll come back for you as soon as we give this back.”
Thus, Spike was left with an unsatisfying answer and hanging upside down from a tree right outside the Everfree Forrest. Realizing where he was, Spike became very afraid and frantically started looking around.
“Hello? Is any pony there?”
Almost in response to his call, the sound of hoof steps began echoing through the forrest entrance. Turning towards the source of the sound, Spike saw that a figure was starting to come out of the shadows. Too scared to speak, Spike could only watched as the figure revealed itself.
“Hello, dragon.”