Chapter One: Cleaning the past
After their millennium-long imprisonment, the Dark Legion was again active; as the princesses returned home, General Grey Shadow decided time was ripe to rebuild and clean their old barracks. Upon entering their old abode, the newly freed warriors noticed, appalled, their refuge, although intact, was virtually buried by thick layers of dust, rubble of every size, shape and description… and enough cobwebs to rig a galleon and that was just for starters!
All warriors gazed their former home with a mix of dismal and nostalgia; Grey Shadow himself was frozen for a long time, contemplating the titanic task at hoof.
“My friends, we must convert this junkyard into decent, proud-to-be-of barracks, worthy of the best battle unit Equestria has ever seen! Come on, my warriors, check the warehouse: Our Princesses has provided us with abundance of cleaning equipment; ergo, I need here brooms, feather dusters and all the cleaning stuff you can carry! We must turn this mess into the impeccable place we know and love: MOVE, MOVE, MOVEEE!!
As one, the Dark Legionaries turned and ran to the warehouse: enthusiastic neighs frequently cut by wilds fits of sneezing and coughing, crashes between overeager ponies, and fierce discussions about who had grabbed which broom later, the enthusiastic warriors -minus armors and weapons and to the fetlocks with aprons, head bandannas and assorted pots, flasks and cleaning stuff - formed proudly before their general… resembling a steampunk version of “A Chorus Line”
They began to work with gusto: while some Earth Ponies used brooms with their mouths, unicorns excelled in magic to remove old boxes (same that had the nasty habit of turning to dust with chronometrical regularity at the slightest movement) or pieces of debris in their path, while gryphons, pegasus and batponies flew this way and that, flapping their wings with all their might to remove dust and cobwebs, their work spiced by happy comments:
“A-CHOOO!”, sneezed Windmaster, one blue pony.
“Windmaster: zero. Dust: one… AH-CHOOO!”, said Storm Raider, one batpony
“Storm Raider, were you tell…. COUGH, COUGH, ACHOOO!”
“Who taught you to fly? A butterfly with hiccups?” mocked one pegasus to White Fog, a batpony, two seconds before crashing head-on against a mountain of cobwebs roughly the size of Mount Hayverest
“I think YOU taught me, Thunder Blaze!”
“GANGWAY!! GRYPHON WITH A SORE AND PATENT LACK OF BRAAAKEEEES!!” One of the proud half-lion, half-eagle creatures passed as a lightning bolt with a cubic and foamy thing under his foot, grabbing a bunch of brooms and mops with his arms, desperately beating his other hind leg, tail and wings to regain some control, zigzagging as a drunken hummingbird; given or taken half a second, he noisily crashed against a huge sofa, somersaulted over it with not-exactly-Hooflympian elegance, slammed against the wall, bounced like a potato sack and finished seated on same ¡upside down!, his tail entangled with clothes of all colors and a mop covering his head and eyes.
“Ooowww!” moaned the hapless gryphon, chorused by the unrestrained laughter of his companions “Why didn’t I heard mom and applied for farmer?”
“The gryphon who skated with MY soap… would you be so kind to unstuck it from Captain Whipslash’s horn, please?” chuckled Cloudkicker, on his knees, scrubbing vigorously the dirty floor.
“Great!” fumed the pretty Pegasus, blowing a lock of her mane aside. “I’ll have a lavender-scented horn for a week!”
“Look at me!” laughed Captain Stone Cracker, covered with cobwebs from muzzle to tail “I´m look like a bad Stars Swirl costume!”
Grey shadow wasn`t idle, either. With his own magic he was moving three feather dusters and two brooms, removing dust from floors and walls… and offering the most comical aspect of all the troop, with an apron generously frilled with pink lace, a head bandanna rabidly scarlet (generously filled with white dots) and two saddle bags with cleaning fluid and soap in flakes hanging from his back; he knew he looked silly, having some solace in the fact that even his most serious warriors had a similar aspect. Now, no ranks were valid for the moment, all of them united in a common goal; among jokes, laughter and songs, the powerful warriors-turned-maids-turned-concierges began to clean and get in shape the millennial fortress that was now their home.
Several hours later, sunlight began to filter by an open window, heralding the coming of a new day; after cleaning all night, only stopping by shifts to eat something, the tired but proud soldiers contemplated shining, clean, sparkling headquarters, as spotless as the first time the building was put in service. The Dark Legionaries were, by contrast, as dirty as the bottom of a pigpen, but all were really proud of their work, vainly trying to stiffen yawns everywhere. Last details, as always happens, demanded and took huge amounts of time, so morning was well advanced when they finally considered accomplished their mission.
Grey Shadow smiled: they could yawn all they liked, they had earned at least that and a full day of rest: even he himself felt pains in places he ignored he had in his anatomy. His tail was alright, his nose was alright… everything between former and later ached, itched, throbbed or all the three at the same time.
“Well done, my friends” nodded he “You have all done a great work: I am proud of you, guys. Dismissed and go to sleep; tonight we can continue with….……..… huh!?
A soft and persistent knocking came from the closed door; since (but for a hayful of ponies) nopody knew about their existence, Grey Shadow felt a trickle of ice running by his spine.
“Troops, all to your stations! I’ll check who can be, alert to my signal!” commanded the gray unicorn.
Approaching the heavy door, he opened it, expecting everything and anything at the other side: everything and anything that is, except………
Poking his muzzle outside, he found a gray pegasus pony, using a cap and a mailbag, a cutiemark of bubbles over her flank and a sweet, captivating smile. He couldn’t but notice her slightly crossed eyes.
Grey Shadow was face-to-face with Derpy Hooves, the charming and lovable Pegasus that managed all the mail in Ponyville.
“Good morning, little one: what can I do for you?” Asked Grey Shadow, half intrigued, half aware of the aspect he was offering the newcomer, bedecked as he was with that ridiculous apron.
“Maaaaiiiilllll!” said the cute pegasus with a squeaky and innocence-filled voice.
The veteran of myriads of wars, battles and skirmishes relaxed, seeing it was just a messenger and made a signal with his right hind hoof to his warriors, as ridiculously attired as he… and armed to their teeth, awaiting the order to crush any potential danger.
“Are you Grey Shadow?” asked Derpy with that so charming innocence of hers to the gray unicorn.
“Indeed I am, sweetie” replied he “What can I do for you?”
With a smile, the little gray pegasus pulled a letter from her mailbag with her teeth.
“Letter for General Grey Shadow!!” she chirped.
The veteran unicorn grabbed the letter with his mouth and passed it to one of his warriors behind him.
“Thank you, my little messenger”
But Derpy stood rooted to her place, gazing attentively the puzzled unicorn.
“Eeerrr... you can retire now”
The pegasus in charge of Ponyville’s mail service just smiled, battling sweetly her long eyelashes; Grey Shadow wondered furiously what in blazes was she waiting for, until…
“Let me guess… you await a… compensation of some sort? A… what’s the name…? ‘Tip’?”
The pegasus nodded vigorously, still smiling.
“Some customs are eternal” puffed irritably Grey Shadow for himself “Wait a moment, please” added he with a soothing tone, closing the door and addressing his men.
And all pretenses of serenity vanished as soon as the latch clicked: “For neighing out loud, anypony has currency here!? She wants a tip and I haven’t a bit cut in half!”
All his warriors gazed each other, disconcerted before such an unusual pledge, beginning a frantic search everywhere: after an eternity (of sorts) Whisplash, a batpony, appeared, balancing a gold coin over her nose: “Here, my General, this should suffice”
Grabbing it with his magic, Grey Shadow opened the door and made it glide to the holster strapped to her right thigh.
“Thaaaank yoooou!” said the smiling pegasus and with the easiest of wing beats streaked to the cool blue sky.
“By Equestria’s starry skies!” Grey Shadow scratched his head with a magically moved stick he grabbed from his own saddlebag “Who would guess she is so fast? Very well, let’s check what she brought”
Ripping open the envelope with his magic, General Grey Shadow began to read what he discovered, was his first official communiqué in ten centuries.
“General Grey Shadow, I offer my apologies by this break in your current chores: Princess Celestia and Princess Luna have requested the presence of your troops and yourself for a formal introduction of the Dark Legion to our citizens, same that will take place before the Administrative Building of Ponyville today at noon.
Enclosed you will find a map with the route to follow, as well as the pertinent instructions for your safe arrival.
Signed,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Finishing and folding the letter, he gazed the skies calculating, with growing alarm, that time was… well past 10 AM!! He had to act fast, emphasizing the FAST!
“TROOPS, TO ME, AT ONCE!” The clarion call of sorts brought his tired but obedient legionaries beside him.
“This can’t be! How inopportune this letter is!” snorted he silently “My guys are so worn-out they can barely stand up! Let’s hope it’s just a fast introduction, kiss a foal or three and home, sweet home!”
“My friends, I understand how you feel: I am in no better shape, but Our Majesties required our presence before the local authorities; beats me what for, but we must be ready to answer their command”
“SIR, YES, SIR, GENERAL SIR!!” neighed they with a force that shook the walls.
.
“Well, our plans must begin with a good and thorough bath; then check your light armors and be ready to depart… and somebody get me a map to know where Ponyville is!!”
“The letter included a map, genius!” laughed good-naturedly Cloudkicker, his most trusted pegasus and one of his best friends.
“I knew it all the time, pigeon-hooves! I talked about our old maps” chuckled Grey Shadow, “we need to update all them”.
All his warriors were dismissed and ran to the showers while he examined the note and the map sent by Twilight Sparkle, trying to guess the shortest route to their new destiny.