It has been about 9 months since the whole fiasco of the human realm, and frankly, Twilight was glad she got out of it. If she were to stay any longer, whichever companions she has would most likely caused more chaos. In the other news, Celestia is now 9 months pregnant and looks like she could pop any moment now. In other news, Sunset is now completely healed, but now developed a phobia to 'overpowered' beings, i.e. Popo. But now's not the time for that. Now is the time for action!
----
Twilight was currently going over the list for the upcoming Summer Sun Celebration. Last celebration was a complete disaster. From the returned of Nightmare Moon to the appearance of Mr. Popo, it was horrid. Luckily, according to sources (Aka, Mr. Popo flatout told her before giving her more training), Mr. Popo will not be attending, so in other words, party as if there was no tomorrow! "Let's see, food, check. Drinks, check. Dj, check. Decorations, check. Pregnancy test for Trixie and making sure it came out negative, check. Anti-matter armor spell to make sure Fluttershy or Nappa doesn't blow shit up again, check." Suddenly, a scroll appeared in front of the princess, startling her. Shaking off her shock, Twilight opened the scroll, and read.
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
You won't believe this, but I am getting near labor. Normally, I would give birth at either the hospital or even in my chambers, but for my safety, I will give birth at the old royal castle in the Evergreen forest. Do not worry, there are hundreds of guards, Luna and her guards, Chrysalis and her guards, and even Discord is here to protect me! Shining and Cadance could have been here, but they still have some issues with Chrysalis. Anyways, I will let you know how the labor goes.
-Princess Celestia
"Aw, Celestia is about to give birth! That means I'm about to become a godmother," squealed Twilight. "Absolutely nothing can go wrong!" Another scroll appeared in front of her. Without hesitation, she opened it and read the contents.
Dear Twilight,
Ignore the letter sent by Celestia, she's high on painkillers. The truth is that we are held hostage in the royal castle by a bunch of magic vines. These vines managed to subdued our forces and placed them in very compromising positions of the opposite gender that I'm pretty sure this would be the perfect plot for a neigh-pon adult manga. To put frank, find the source and destroy them. No pressure.
-Luna
Twilight blinked before hoof-palming. "I jinxed it again."
Twilight Own Count: 22
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There was good news and bad news. The good news was that Twilight managed to assembled her friends. The added bonus was that Sonata was coming along so if any trouble were in the way she can just blast them all. The even bigger added bonus was that Fluttershy and Nappa are to busy watching Fluttershy's flatscreen to come, so no migraines for Twilight. The bad news?
Rarity is already bitching about everything.
"Oh Faust, look at all this grime. I swear, it's as if this forest doesn't have it's own cleaning facility. You know Twilight, you're princess now, couldn't you sent some of the guards to clean this forest? They're all trained, so if any trouble is in the way, they can handle it, I mean seriously, look at this horrid environment, it's like if..."
'Oh Faust,' thought Twilight, trying to keep her cool. 'I traded Fluttershy and Nappa for this. Please let the old castle appeared closer than expected.' Luckily, fate was one her side, because the view to the old royal castle was in sight.
"Finally," said Applejack. "About time we made it!"
"Thank Faust, it was a long journey, especially with Ms. Bitch-a-Lot!" said Rainbow Dash. The group made it to the clearing, but what they saw makes Fifty shades of Gray look like a children's book. They saw various Solar, Lunar, and Changeling guards bounded by magical vines, placed in very compromising positions with someone of the opposite gender. Though it appears that some of them like their current predicament. "Wow, this is, um, something."
"Well Twilight," said Pinkie. "Do your thing. Take care of these vines."
"I think it's better if we hired a gardener," suggested Rarity.
"That's a stupid idea," said Twilight, charging up her horn. "I'll cast a spell that will weaken the integrity of the vines. It shall make them easier to break." Twilight then fired her spell at the vines, causing them to glow for a while. However, instead of making them weaker, it seemed to make them stronger, causing them to pulled harder, making the (bondage) victims to either freak or moan, depending on their point of view. "Whoops, that wasn't suppose to happen."
"Congratulations, Twilight. You single-hoofenly doomed us all." scolded Rarity.
"I don't see you doing anything about it." muttered Twilight.
"What do you mean by that," said Rarity, scowling at the purple maid princess.
"Well I dunno maybe you could've bitched at them, how about that? Seems that's all you appear to be good for these days, huh? Use your bitch-fu on those vines. Rarity, the Mistress of Bitching, that's what they should call you. I have no bucking idea what Spike used to see in you."
(Meanwhile...)
Chrysalis, Discord, and Luna were all chained to the wall held by the magical vines, while Celestia was screaming on her bed. The labor has already started.
"GET IT OUT! I'M DYING OVER HERE! LUNA! DO SOMETHING USEFUL AND GET ME A DOCTOR! CHRYSALIS! GO BUCKING GET TWILIGHT! DISCORD! GIVE ME YOUR HAND SO I CAN CRUSH IT! HOW DARE YOU IMPREGNATE ME! LOOK AT ME! I'M FAT AND ABOUT TO GIVE BIRTH TO YOUR BASTARD CHILD!" yelled Celestia with her royal Canterlot voice.
"Anyone noticed the irony here? Nine months ago, Celestia wanted a foal, and now she's cursing me for impregnating her." said Discord. Chrysalis and Luna nodded in agreement.
(Back to Twilight's rant)
"Seriously, five ancient sages of bitches gathered atop the peaks of Mt. Bitch to proclaim your birth, and 1000 years later, when all the bitch stars, solar systems, and galaxies had aligned by the magic of the bitch alicorn goddesses, you were born and made everyone's life around you a living hell, because you are SUCH a BITCH!" shouted Twilight, panting after giving her rant about Rarity being a bitch. Rarity, meanwhile, had a suspiciously calm expression.
"Are you done?" asked Rarity. Twilight looked at the fasionista and nodded. "Good."
SLAP
"Owww!" Rarity and slapped Twilight on the face so hard, she was sent flying toward the old castle, crashing through the front door, and coincidentally crashing right onto the main vine, destroying it, causing every other vine to disappeard, freeing everypony.
Twilight Own Count: 23
"Wow, good job Rarity. You did something useful that doesn't involved whining." cheered Pinkie.
"Don't make me slap you," threatened Rarity. Twilight stumbled out of the doorway, holding here swirling head. On her back was a crystal box with six keyholes.
"Ow, what did I miss?" she asked.
"No idea, but the better question is, what's with the box?" asked Sonata, irked that she came through here for nothing. She could be at Ponyville, gouging on unlimited tacos, but noooooooooo, Rarity had to bitch at her to come.
"Normally I answer, but I'm too tired. Let's just go in and see Celestia."
"Wait, Celestia?" questioned one of the guards. "What are you talking about?"
"She told us that she was giving birth at the old royal castle," said Twilight.
"Oh, I think you may have gotten the message when she was high on painkillers. Luna sent you another message, correcting her sister's mistake. I think you may have misinterpreted her message."
(Meanwhile at the ROYAL canterlot castle)
Celestia had already given birth to twins, both hybrids of an alicorn and draconequus. They were both females, and were named Pan and Dora. Discord and Chrysalis were both gushing over the foals, happy to be free when the magical vines went out. Luna, however, stood out the balcony.
"WHERE THE BUCK IS EVERYPONY!?!"
Bang
And then Luna was hit straight on her head. Luckily for her, it was a bean bag shot. "OW!"
-----
(Moments ago)
Fluttershy and Nappa were both enjoying the new movie that finally came out to purchase, Kingsmane (Parody of Kingsmen. Go watch it, it was very good) "This movie is awesome!" said Nappa.
"Well said," agreed Fluttershy. "Nothing can ruin this day."
"WHERE THE BUCK IS EVERYPONY!?!"
"Scratch that," said Fluttershy as she pulled out the Jackal, aimed out her window, and fired.
Bang
Moments later...
"OW!"
Fluttershy smirked as she holstered her pistol. "Yup, nothing can ruin this day."