I awoke from my sleep, on a train, with a pounding headache. Hearing some one talking nearby, I sat up and looked that way. The girls were all talking, mainly about where the map was taking them, and why it was taking them. Twilight looked over at me, and her face became red instantly.
"Oh hey Zach, sorry about earlier. Again." She said, giving a sheepish smile as to ensure she was sorry.
"It's alright, just stop using that spell" I said, rubbing my face a bit. "How long was I out?" I asked them, looking around for some sort of clock.
"Judging by the position of the sun, you were out for about two hours." Twilight said, I just shrugged it off, since I would sleep that much on a shady day.
"And where are we going?" I asked, since I was never shared this info.
"We don't know!" Rainbow said, clearly agitated. "Hopefully we get to fight a monster this time, or else this is just a big waste of time!" She said again, sounding like she was complaining to the world. Suddenly, the train stopped.
"Ah shit!" I yelled, as I was thrown from my seat by the momentum, slamming onto the floor. "Why we stopping?!" I asked, standing up on wobbly legs from the sudden surprise.
"We're here, that's why silly!" Pinkie said, cartwheeling her way off.
"Oh, cause that makes sense" I said, following them off the train. I was met with heat, a flat area, and the train speeding away really fast, just as I got off.
"Alright, let's figure out why the map sent us here" Twilight said, taking the honor of going first. We all walked for a bit, until we came across a beautiful view of a tiny village. Where all the buildings looked the same. And a cliff was just in front of us. No visible way down. And random ponies just walking around down there.
"Huh, everything looks normal" Twilight said, looking at the town.
"This isn't even close to normal" I said to myself, since they wouldn't understand what I mean, and I would have to explain.
"Wait a second, those smiles are fake!" Pinkie said, leaning over the ledge a bit. Looking a bit closer, I also noticed how their smiles looked forced. "I know a smile when I see them, and their fake!" She said again, enforcing her point.
"Your right, and just look at their cutie marks" Twilight said, this is when I noticed that they were wearing burlap sacks as clothes, and their shorts practically showed their asses! "How can one village have the same cutie mark?" She asked us all, I put on my 'what the hell you talking about' face, since I was completely lost!
"I bet there's some sort of hideous monster behind this" Rainbow said, just confusing me more. I mean, a monster would be fine to fight, but why in this town of freaky smile ponies?
"I highly doubt that Rainbow" Applejack said, then went back to looking at the town.
"In all honesty, I think we should just go down there and ask them what's going one" I said, giving them all and idea. Pinkie was the first to almost literally jump on it.
"I'm on it" Pinkie said, all serious like. Suddenly, she went over the edge, and rolled down like a damn ball! Landing at the bottom, perfectly behind a rock, waving her hand as to tell us to follow. Not wanting to die, I actually looked for somewhere to go down. Of course, there were stairs way off to the side. I started walking towards them, hearing the others go off after Pinkie as well.
"I will never understand this world" I said, shaking my head a bit, only to see Pinkie get crushed by a giant boulder, and scoot it along on top of her. "Not going to question it" I said, jogging the rest of the way to the stairs, and running down. Thanks to my amazing luck, a single part on a step collapsed, and I fell down the rest of the stairs from midway point. Landing at the bottom, I had my eyes shut tight from pure fear of injury.
"Welcome!" I heard someone say, way to happy for my taste. Cracking an eye open, I saw one of those freaking smile ponys standing right above me. Worst part, she was a mare, and those shorts don't count as nothing from my point of view.
"Shit, sorry for landing under you, and seeing all you stuff" I said, scooting away from under here, and standing up. "Thanks for not beating me senseless like the last lady I landed under!" I said, then ran off towards Twilight and the other girls.
After running for a bit, I caught up to them right as they were entering the town. I almost shit myself how scary this was.
"Welcome!" "Welcome!" "Welcome!"
That's all I heard as we walked along, Pinkie's face read that of no trust in the locals. Reminded me of my faces when I met someone who was against video games. Continuing through the town, we were confronted by a while stallion.
"Welcome! My name is Double Diamond!" He said, sounding like the stoner in my English class. "What brings you here?" Double Diamond asked us, the Fluttershy went on about how nice this town was, only for Pinkie to stop her instantly.
"Well, we're not sure exactly" Twilight said, I just stood there like a complete idiot, not knowing what to do or say.
"Well, I'm pretty sure Starlight Glimmer will be able to help you with that!" He told us, then turned around and started walking towards the building at the end of the street. We followed him, as to hopefully find out as to why we're here.
"Why are we trusting him? He sounds like a stoner" I whispered to Twilight, only to get a confused look in return.
"You shouldn't judge before you know" Fluttershy said from behind, actually making me feel terrible.
"Sorry sorry, just saying my say here!" I said, dropping it all together, because Fluttershy was being very defensive for some reason. We had reached the house, Double Diamond walked straight into it.
"Starlight, we have visitors!" He called out to this 'Starlight' figure, who apparently was the mayor or something? We followed him in, a door on the other side caught my attention, same with the girls.
"I bet some horrible monster is going to walk through that door" Rainbow whispered to us all, trying to entertain herself. I find it quite amusing. The door opened and out stepped a dark pink pony. What a surprise.
"Hello there! My name is Starlight Glimmer, and we are always happy to see new friends in our town!" She said, I heard Rainbow groan in disappointment.
"Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle, and my friends are Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Zach" Twilight said, introducing all of us. Not wanting to be rude, I waved my hand once, twice, thrice, then put it back in my pocket. Starlight was looking at me with extreme curiosity, as if trying to understand what I was.
"Hmm, that's a weird name for a pony. Zach was it?" She asked me.
"Human" I said in quick response, she just cocked her head in confusion, then just shrugged it off.
"Might I ask what brings you all here?" She asked, I left it to the professionals at this point.
"Actually, a map brought us here, we were hoping some pony here could help us understand why" Twilight said, pretty much confused.
"Oh, really? Maybe it's because you were all tired of being different, so you made the pilgrimage here to get your cutie marks removed" Starlight said, a smile on her face.
"Say what?" Applejack asked, her face was pretty much screaming that she wasn't believing this shit.
"Actually, that's something that I wanted to ask about, how are all your cutie marks the same thing?" Twilight asked, Starlight giggled then started walking towards the door behind us.
"Why, every pony is equal in our town" Starlight said, then music turned on in the background, as if a song was about to start.
"In our town! In our town!" All the citizens started singing, not wanting to hear it, I just out my hands over my ears, and watched as Starlight went around, fixing manes and correcting dance moves, all the while they were singing. After about a minute or two, the song ended, so I took my hands away.
"So, this is just a communist town?" I asked, thinking about Mother Russia. Starlight looked at me in utter confusion, then went back to trying to explain something.
"As I said before, every pony here has made a pilgrimage to this town, so they could have their cutie marks removed so they could be equal!" Starlight said, while every pony else dispersed.
"Well, that's not what we want, besides, why would we want to give our cutie marks up?" Rarity asked, the others nodding in agreement.
"Fine, have a look around our town, maybe you will change your minds!" Starlight said, walking off towards what I guessed to be her house at the end of the street.
"Oh well, let's just look around" Twilight said, walking off towards a house with a table out front. As we were walking, Rarity looked to the left, gasped, then spoke.
"What in Equestria are those?!" She asked, I looked, only to see the potato sack clothes at a clothes store.
"Cloaks here, get yer cloaks here!" A bigger than normal pony said, pointing to some of them. Rarity made a gagged face, swallowed down what I presumed to be vomit.
"Oh, we're fine for now" Rarity said, walking away quickly.
"Sorry man, maybe next time" I said, following Rarity's lead. We caught up with the others, who were now sitting at that table.
"Alright, why would the map bring us here if every pony is so happy?" Twilight asked, pretty much bringing on a huge debate for me to ignore. Zoning out, I watched them talk about it, argue a bit, then I noticed the pony standing behind Twilight, who looked worried.
"Um, excuse me? Why are you arguing? Is it because you all have different talents?" She asked, they looked at each other.
"Hay no! We may be arguing, but we're still friends" Applejack said, confusing the pony.
"But, Starlight says you can't be friends if you have different talents and opinions" she said, still looking confused.
"I call bullshit!" I said, attracting a lot of attention. "I have friends, all better at me when it comes to sports, but they are still my friends despite that fact, and I'm still their friend even though I'm lazy and call sports lame" I said, Twilight looked a little surprised.
"Oh, well with that settled, my name is Sugar Belle and I will be taking your orders. We have, muffins" she said, smiling and waiting for us to answer.
"Well then, we'll take seven muffins" Twilight said, the pony nodded, then turned to walk back into the house.
"Make that fourteen!" Pinkie said, just as she walked into the building to get some muffins. Twilight gave her a glare real quick. "What? I'm hungry!" She said, then Twilight just shrugged. Then an idea popped into my head.
"Hey Twilight" I asked, she looked at me. "Know any electric spells?" I asked, she cocked her head in confusion.
"Why do you ask?" She asked me, I pulled my phone out, then the spare charger right after. Plugging it into my phone, I aimed the plug in towards her.
"Concentrate some onto this" I said, Twilight still looked confused, but started focusing on the spell. I saw a little electric field form around the charger, then my phone rumbled, letting me know that it was being charged. "Well I'll be damned, it actually works" I said, then looked at the phone screen, seeing that it said thirty percent charged already.
"How much longer?" Twilight asked, I looked at the charger to see a bit of smoke coming off it.
"You can stop now" I said, wide eyed, afraid the charger would melt. Twilight stopped, and I dropped it as the heat started burning my fingers. "That's hot!" I said, shaking my hand around, trying to cool it off. Then the pony walked out with the muffins, all neatly placed on a tray.
"Oh well, the muffins are here!" Pinkie said, grabbing one. I stopped shaking my hand since it was no longer burning, then grabbed a muffin myself. Me and Pinkie threw them into the air, and caught them in our mouths. Then the taste hit my tongue.
Pinkie and I started spitting them out, I felt the rivers of hell rise in my throat, so I slammed my hand over my mouth. Pinkie was scrapping muffin pieces off her tongue, then we both looked at the shocked pony. I swallowed, while Pinkie just smiled at her with muffin bits in her teeth.
"I meant, their delicious!" Pinkie said, giving a nervous laugh. The pony just sighed, then looked down.
"It's OK, I'm no better then any other pony at least" she said all sad like, then turned around, walking into the building. Suddenly, she darted back out and whispered something towards us, then darted back in. Twilight looked surprised, so did the others, and I had no idea what she had said.
Twilight gave a nod. "I have a plan" Twilight said, then Applejack, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Twilight looked at Pinkie. "You have to eat all these muffins though Pinkie!" Twilight said, Pinkie had a look of betrayal on her face.
"What?! Why me?!" She asked.
"Cause you have a stronger stomach then us" Applejack said, they all continued to stare, then Pinkie stared at the muffins in defeat, and started eating. We all sat there for a few minutes, watching her eat all the muffins, her face growing greener with every one she ate. Finally reaching the last one, she put it in her mouth, chewed it up, then swallowed.
"Why Pinkie! You ate all our muffins!" Applejack yelled, I just sat there confused. "Guess we'll have to go in and get some more!" She yelled again, then they all stood up and walked into the house. I got up and followed, Pinkie behind me since she was having a hard time walking for some reason. I continued, following them into the basement, as I heard Pinkie fall down the stairs behind me, crushing me underneath her.
"I've actually had cardboard that tasted better then that" Pinkie said, which I silently agreed with from underneath her, as she got off me.
"Sugar Belle! We're here, where are you?" Twilight called out, then Sugar Belle walked to the edge of the light that was on.
"Did any pony see you come down here?" Sugar Belle asked, I looked back, seeing no one else on the stairs, then looked forward again.
"Uh, no" Twilight said.
"Good, now no pony will know what will happen here" she said, then two more ponies walked out from the shadows, all three of them walking towards us with those creepy smiles, surrounding us. I felt a bit of fear, as I prepared my fists for a fight. Suddenly, they were asking question after question, asking the girls and me what it was like to be friends when we're different and stuff like that.
"Oh this ones pretty!" One of them said, lifting Fluttershy's skirt a bit and looking at the butterflys. Fluttershy gave of a tiny eep at this, then I felt a tug.
"Not my pants!" I said, jumping to avoid the tug, only to give more power to it. With a ripping noise, I felt air rush to my legs. "Shit!" I said, quickly running into the shadows, and pulling the hoodie down over my legs as best I could.
"Sorry" the pegasus said, while the pants were still in her hands. The others just brushed it off, and continued to look at the cutie marks.
"Better be some extras around here" I said, looking around, then the pegasus flew over to a dresser that I never noticed. Flying back over, she gave me some of those potato sack shorts.
"Now we can see your cutie mark without you being embarrassed!" She said, thinking I had one. Giving off a sigh, I put the shorts on, and felt the scratchy texture instantly. Walking out from the shadows again, all three of them instantly looked at my rear, only to be confused when they didn't see a cutie mark or some skin.
"Where's your cutie mark?" The unicorn one asked, looking at me in confusion.
"I'm human, can't have those" I said, they just cocked their heads in confusion. "I'll explain later, but I do believe introductions are in order" I said, then things kicked off.
"You're right, we were so distracted we forgot about that!" Twilight said, then cleared her throat. "My name is Twilight Sparkle, this is Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy" Twilight said, giving a quick introduction, forgetting me.
"But, what's his name?" The unicorn asked, pointing at me.
"My name isn't important if Twilight didn't say it" I said, checking my fingernails for dirt, while everyone looked at me. Twilight's face was red with embarrassment.
"Sorry Zach" she said, then the three just gave a confused 'oh?' as their response to my name.
"Human name" I said, clearing it up for them.
"Well, I'm Party Favor!" Party Favor said, clearing his name off the list.
"And I'm Night Glider!" Night Glider said, also clearing her name off the list of names we needed to hear.
"Wait hold up" I said, catching all their attention. "Not you girls, I'm talking to that rat over there!" I said, pointing at the rat in the corner, who was now looking at us in confusion.
"Really Zach, you pay attention to the smallest thing in the room?" Rainbow Dash asked, I just shrugged my shoulders, and left the rat to it's own things.
"Well with that out of the way, I have a few questions" Twilight said, Sugar Belle nodded, signalling Twilight to continue. "Okay, my first question, why are you so curious about out cutie marks?" She asked.
"Well, we miss ours, and if I had mine back for at least a day, I would cook something besides those horrible muffins" Sugar Belle said, looking down with a sad face.
"Then why don't you just go get them back?" Twilight asked, then I zoned out, wondering why they didn't just go do that in the first place! Shaking it off with something to do with magic, I started listening to what they were saying.
"Alright, let's go look at this cutie mark vault" Rainbow said, hovering over to the stairs then going up. Not knowing one hundred percent what we were doing, I followed the rest out as we went to see this cutie mark vault. After a bit of walking and talking, Starlight was leading us to the nearby mountains, where the vault was.
"Why do I have Borderland feelings about this?" I asked, looking around, expecting to see a Skag for some reason. The girls just gave me a weird look, then went on talking about what they were talking about. Deciding that this would be a long walk, I put my earphones in and started blasting some dubstep. Of course when music's playing, traveling is much faster and we were there in no time, so I pulled my earplugs out and put them away.
"Behold! The cutie mark vault!" Starlight said, and whoa and behold, a giant glass panel was covering a lot of butt marks.
"I've never seen anything like it!" Twilight said, obviously surprised.
"They're all so pretty" Fluttershy said, also looking amazed.
"And this is the staff of sameness! It allows us to de-cutie mark any pony!" Starlight said, picking it up in her magic, then a grin formed on her face. "How did you come to know about the vault anyway?" She asked, twirling it while looking at us with an evil grin.
Then a bunch of the towns folk appeared out of the shadows, blocking us in the cave. "It's a trap!" Twilight yelled, making me laugh at the memory of that meme. Teleporting herself into the air a bit, Twilight prepared to strike with a spell.
"What should I do?!" I asked, looking around for anything to at least help out. Then a beam launched from the staff, striking Twilight. "Shit" I said, as I heard her groan in pain, as I saw and heard her cutie mark rip off, as an equal sign replaced it. Then the same happened to the others, the sounds of their pain filling my ears.
"Your turn" I heard Starlight say from right behind me, making me spin around and punch her. Everything went quiet, as the sound of my knuckles popping resonated through the cave. I felt instant pain in my fist.
"Ah shit! Your face is bony as hell!" I said, shaking my hand around in pain. "Did I even faze you?" I asked, looking at the still standing opponent.
"You'll pay for that!" She said angrily, the aura around the staff growing bigger.
"I'll take that as a yes" I said, turning to run away. I took a total of five steps before I felt something hit my back, pain seared through me for two seconds, then leaving instantly. The sudden pain made me falter, as I fell to the ground, and blacked out.