Day one of our vacation in juvey was expected. Everypony picking on the new ponies. “Hey shrimp!” a teenage criminal said to Orange.
“Bite me!” Orange said.
“With pleasure!” the criminal said. Just then, Orange bucks him in the mouth with his hoof. “OW! I think you gave me a loose tooth, and I think I already gave this place to the tooth fairy.”
“Like you brush your teeth!” Orange said angrily. “Do you smell your breath, homie? Pee-you! Has anypony ever taught you dental hygiene?”
“You’re askin’ for it, slick!” another criminal threatened him.
“Mess with him, holms, you mess with all of us.” Cesaer said. “Can’t we just get along and be friends?”
“Accck!” the prisoner makes a buzzard sound. “Nope! You had your chance to be one of us. Now it’s all of us against you.”
“Ah wouldn’t do that if ah were you, partner.” Lee said. ”You see we come from a long line of jobs, which is why we’re here.”
“Yeah, and you have a Jam pony here, the second richest family in Southern Equestria, first being another family in Las Hayus.” The prisoner said.
“Yeah, why do you need the money for? You have everything you want. You like be such a show off, don’t you Jam?” another prisoner asked.
“He’s doing it just for the pleasure, ese.” Cesaer said. “We mainly get the cuts.”
“Well… not anymore.” Orange said.
“He still gives us cuts, Orange!” Lee reminded him.
“I mean he doesn’t take scores anymore. Our homie’s gone soft.” Orange said.
“No I haven’t! I just care about other ponies’ feelings!” I said.
“Oh my bad, homie.” Orange said. “He cares about other ponies’ feeling so he decided to go soft!”
“Let’s leave him be, ese. You know we all work hard to get us where we were.” Cesaer said.
“And then ended up in prison.” Lee added.
“You four better watch your backs, you hear me? For the time being, it’s the entire prison against you four.” The prisoner said.
“Yeah, I don’t really consider General Lee here to be part of the group.” Orange said.
“The group doesn’t need you. The group needs a driver and a hacker.” Lee said.
“We’re in prison! Those tactics don’t work here!” Orange argued with him.
“Unless ah have the right tools though.” Lee said.
“Just watch your backs dorks!” the prisoner threatened us.
“Got it, Kathleen Barr.” Lee teased.
“What?” the prisoner asked.
“Nothin’, nothin’.” Lee chuckled. The four of us kept our guard up throughout our time in juvey. It’s a bit different from regular prison. I’ve seen these prison movies, and this place isn’t all much like regular prison. The cells do look a bit nicer, and the food pretty much tastes like cafeteria food at school, which is still bad, but not the worst. Ok, the worst. And ponies say fast food is bad, or hospital food. I dunno which is worse. I guess hospital food and cafeteria food are tied. You decide then who the winner is.
We’ve reached day 13 of our time in juvey, and so far, the four of us did pretty well in protecting ourselves against the other prisoners. I’m surprised nopony made a shiv yet. Maybe these ponies are just too stupid to make one. Umm… I don’t wanna jinx it. Forget I said that. Ok how do I erase words on this thing? Ugh! Nevermind. So yeah, day 13. I was hanging with General Lee at the basketball courts.
“So yeah, that’s how you make a shiv out of plasticware from the cafeteria.” Lee said.
”I hope you’re not telling everypony this, mate.” I said.
”Relax, yer the first and only pony ah told.” Lee said. “So ya thought of a plan yet on how we’re gettin’ out of here?”
“We’re not.” I said. “We’re staying until our sentence is complete.”
“Your sentence is complete, and once ah’m done talkin’, mine will be too; that way we’re outta here!” Lee teased.
I glared at him. “You know what I mean.”
“Why do you wanna stay here, partner?” Lee asked. “This place isn’t fun, it isn’t safe. The food’s bad, and everywhere we go we have to rely on protectin’ ourselves. That’s why you suggested that we at least stay in twos. Orange Swirl and Cesaer Salad are both at the shower waitin’ for Luna knows what might happen to them!”
“Relax, Lee, they’ll be fine.” I said. “They can protect themselves.”
“Which is why ah was thinkin’, you and ah can bust ourselves outta here and leave Orange and Cesaer to rot in ‘ere.” Lee said.
“What?!” I asked surprisingly.
“Just think about it. The only reason we went into crime in the first place was because of them, am ah right?” Lee asked.
“Well… yeah, but…” I started.
“But nothin’! Orange and Cesaer are just slowin’ just down!” Lee said. “They’re the ones that belong in ‘ere. Not us! We can work together to get outta ‘ere, and we don’t have to worry about supportin’ Orange or Cesaer ever again!”
“Why would you think of something like that, Lee?” I asked. “Not trying to quote High School Musical, but we’re all in this together. We can’t leave a pony behind. We trust eachother.”
“They don’t trust me though; and because of that, ah don’t trust them.” Lee said.
“You three will learn to get along. As long as we’re here, it’s more of a probability of all of us to create an ever bigger bond. I did my research, I know what I’m talking about.” I said.
“Yeah, ah’m startin’ to think that’s how you got yer cutie mark. It’s not journalism, its research.” Lee said.
“I don’t really know what it means. It just suddenly popped up one day, and I don’t know why.” I admitted. “Could’ve been researching, could’ve been writing. I just got it after writing an essay that I got an A+ on. It doesn’t really explain some of my other talents though.”
“Uhh, Jerry Jam?” a prison guard asked. “You have a visitor.”
“Must be Jelly.” I assumed. “C’mon, GL. Wanna join me?”
“Sure! Ah’ve always had developed a bit of feelings for yer sister, Jer.” Lee teased.
“Shut up, Lee.” I chuckled and then we both walked to the visitor room. You know, the one with the glass windows blocking the way, just in case a witness comes to taunt you and you can’t attack them? Well, when I got there, I didn’t see Jelly anywhere, but I did see Elusive. I was quite surprised to see him. I went over to his booth, sat down, and took out the phone so I could speak to him. “Elusive.”
“Jerry.” Elusive said.
“Wait a minute. Who in tarnation is this?” Lee asked.
“You should learn some matters, sweetheart.” Elusive suggested.
“Just a friend I met the other day.” I said to Lee.
“A coltfriend you say?” Lee teased.
“Don’t worry about him, Jer.” Elusive said.
“What are you doing here, mate?” I asked. “How did you know I was here?”
“It’s all over the paper. Jam son turns himself in – responsible for various heists around the city. Your family is receiving some hateful mail and nonstop news anchors go to ask them questions. They’re unable to leave their house.” Elusive explained.
“Well whose fault is that?” I asked. “It’s about time somepony did something about it. All my family could think of was work, work, work. They weren’t thinking of their own foals. Leave some employees to raise them. Pfft! Poor excuse for parents! Only there for reproduction purposes and collecting taxes from city.”
“But they’re still your parents.” Elusive said.
“Are they, mate? Are they? Oi, they just ignore Jelly and I. They just give us money, tell us to take our coats, and then we’re allowed to do whatever the hay we want. I swear, my ancestors would be ashamed.” I said. “Blueberry Jam did not bring this world his descendents and let greed corrupt them.”
“But they’re still your parents.” Elusive said.
“I know they are. I’m only raised to be a reasonable pony is because of the reasonable employees that raised me. I guess I’ll give them credit for that.” I said. “But still, I’m glad I did this. Perhaps my family will eventually think about that they can’t let business keep them away from their personal lives.” I said.
“But was it necessary to do something like that?” Elusive asked.
“To be honest, I wasn’t trying to ruin business for them. I just wanted to turn myself in for my actions.” I said.
“Well I’m proud of you, Jer!” Elusive said.
“What are you still doing here anyway?” I asked. “I thought you were only here for vacation?”
“I’m leaving tomorrow actually.” Elusive said. “But I’ll come to town more often. I’ll come and see you. It really feels like I made a new friend when I met you.”
“To be honest, I did as well.” I nodded.
“You made a new friend of yourself, sweetheart?” Elusive teased, and we both chuckled.
“Yeah, you’re absolutely right!” I said and laughed.
“What a bunch of girls.” Lee complained as he walked away.
“Wait, Lee!” I called out.
“Don’t worry about him. He just needs to get with the program.” Elusive said.
“I’m really not sure what General Lee’s problem is.” I said.
“Prisonitis I would assume.” Elusive teased. “But seriously, he’s your friend, and he’ll always be there by your side.”
“Now that, I believe you on.” I said. “General Lee’s like my best friend. He would never stab us in the back.” Up ahead, Lee was just sharpening up his shiv that he made out of plasticware.
Later at lunch time, I went with General Lee to the cafeteria for some grub. No, really, the food was actually grub. When we got our grub, we went to sit down at a table, and we met up with Cesaer and Orange. “Well lookie here! We thought you two forgot about us!” Orange said.
“I’ll never forget you guys! Right, Lee?” I asked him.
“It’s true; he won’t.” Lee admitted.
What about you big caballo?” Cesaer asked Lee.
“What about me?” Lee asked.
“Would you forget about us, amigo?” Cesaer asked.
“Ah really don’t have the strongest memory to be honest.” Lee said.
“Mmhm, right.” Cesaer nodded.
“Anyways, homies, I think tonight’s the night.” Orange said.
“Tonight is what night?” I asked.
Orange looked around to see if anypony was around, and then he leaned in and whispered, “We’re breaking out of this place!”
“You’re bluffin’.” I said.
“Look at my face. Does this look like a bluff face to you?” Orange asked as he pointed to his face.
“Ah really have nothin’ to say about yer face, partner.” Lee said as he laughed.
“Jerk.” Orange said offended. “So c’mon, fools! You wanna stay in here your entire lives?”
“Orange, we’re not going to be here our entire lives. If we attempt to escape this place, our sentence here will be expanded. It’s not easy to break out of here; not without a plan.” I said.
“Which is where you come in, Jer.” Orange said.
“No.” I said. “Look if we’re here for good behavior, we might be released early. Can we just do that? Have good behavior for a short amount of time and get out early?”
“You know, Jerry, but talking like that. It makes me believe you like it here.” Orange said.
“Quit your assumin’, Orange!” Cesaer suggested. “Jerry doesn’t like it here, just as much as we don’t. Why don’t you trust him, holms?”
“Because of Jerry’s new coltfriend.” Orange said.
“Lee, did you tell them?” I asked.
“Ah did.” Lee nodded. “But they already knew before ah told them.”
“Yeah what’s with that, homie?” Orange asked. “Who’s this new pony that keeps seeing you?”
“Ok first off, he saw me just once; second, he’s not my coltfriend. He’s just a friend that I accept his way of life.” I said.
“I accept both of your ways of life, ese.” Cesaer teased.
“Heh, yeah!” Lee chuckled.
“Wow, the three of you teaming up against me. That’s new.” I said.
“Hey right now I trust Lee more than I trust you right now, dawg.” Orange said. “Shame to admit that though. Makes me not regret that he’ll be with us durin’ our escape out of here.”
“I’m telling you, don’t do it!” I warned them.
“If you wanna stay behind, that’s fine by me.” Orange said.
“I don’t know about this, holms.” Cesaer said. “I don’t wanna leave Jerry here.”
“Me neither.” Lee said. “The four of us stick together. We are a team, and when we get out of here, ah guess we’ll be goin’ our separate ways until the heat dies down.”
“That’s the sad truth, GL.” Cesaer said.
“Ah already know mah career. Bein’ a professional carriage stuntspony!” Lee said. “Any of you know what yer goin’ to be dog-on doin’?”
“Well my cutie mark is a taco. I am good at cooking. I went into the kitchen today and put a few ingredients together, and I’m thinking of becoming the new cafeteria host here.” Cesaer said.
“Aren’t we leaving though?” Orange asked.
“Well I can open a taco carriage. I can travel around Equestria selling some of my homemade goods.” Cesaer said.
“Mmm! I wouldn’t lie, homie! Cesaer’s tacos are to die for!”
“Ah like the kick of that name – Cesaer’s Tacos.” Lee said.
“Then that’s what I’ll do.” Cesaer said.
“Me… I’m going back to robbing.” Orange said.
“You can’t rob right away, not yet. You have to lie low for a while, O.” I reminded him.
“I’m loyal to what I represent, fools. It’s sad that y’all are betraying what you stand for with some lame-flank jobs like you have. How about you Jerry? Maybe you can enlighten us.” Orange said.
“Well…” I started.
“I hope you won’t become a fed, dawg. Being a cop, a royal guard, an agent… you’ll be more of a traitor than all of us combined, dude.” Orange said.
I didn’t want to tell him I wanted to become an agent, so I had to lie. “An animal-cracker dealer.” I said.
“WHOA! You are cold dawg!” Orange said impressively. “Now that’s my boy, Jerry! Who’s my boy? Jerry Jam is!” and we both gave eachother a hoof-bump. “See? Jerry knows where it’s at! Just a moment ago he said he didn’t want to leave this place, but now he knows what his career is gettin’ at!”
“C’mon, J. Please?” Cesaer begged. “Please come with us. We don’t want you here alone and defenseless. I promise you won’t regret it.”
“I don’t think that promise will do you any good.” I said. “But… ok… I will go, but only because I don’t want to be here alone.”
“YEE HAW!” Lee cried as he yelled his Dixie-horn out and it got everypony in the cafeteria’s attention. Lee got pretty embarrassed. “Heh! Sorry ‘bout that.”
“I got the feelin’ General Lee is goin’ to be the end for all of us.” Orange said. Shame to admit it... I actually think I’m going to be the end of all of us. I have the feeling I’m going to screw this up. It was a mistake bringing them here with me. We’re going to be in prison for a very, very long time.
Later that night, we were returning to our cells for a much needed rest. Ok, not really. We were forced to return to our cells. The guards were watching our every move so it wouldn’t be wise to just take the keys. We had to improvise. Once we went into our cells, we nodded our heads. “Why are we nodding?” Lee asked.
“The plan!” I whispered.
“Oh right, the plan! Can you repeat it?” Lee asked.
“No, if you haven’t listened, I’m not repeating it.” I said.
Lee shook his head and chuckled. “You know me too well, Jer!”
“You’re ALWAYS listening, Lee!” I said.
“That ah am!” Lee said.
“Alright so… what should do?” Cesaer asked. “How should we get out of this place?”
Ok readers! This is your chance to shine, mates! You get to choose what happens next! Whatever you pick will depend on what we do. You ready? Let’s do this!
CHOICE A: DISGUISE
“So we ready to do this?” Cesaer asked.
“Right, fake a fight.” Orange said as he suddenly punches Lee in the stomach.
“OW!” Lee cried.
“THAT’S MY SPOT, PUNK!” Orange yelled. “I called top bunk!”
“You jerk!” Lee yelled.
“Hey what’s going on here?” the prison guard asked.
“They’re fightin’, holms.” Cesaer said.
“This isn’t a trick to get me to come in there, is it?” the guard asked.
“Wha- nooooo!” Cesaer said cheerfully. “Look, they’re really fighting, amigo! Look how much in our friend here is.”
“PUT THIS DOOFUS IN SOLITARY CONFIMENT!” Lee yelled.
“Oh c’mon, that didn’t even hurt!” Orange said playfully. The guard then suddenly opens the cell doors, and then I whoop in and knock him out.
“I knew it.” the guard said in an annoyed tone as he suddenly passes out.
“I wouldn’t be surprised, mate. Oldest trick in the book.” I said.
“Now what?” Cesaer asked.
“Disguise time!” I said.
“We’re going to strip him?” Orange asked.
“No way, José.” Cesaer said.
“Yeah, no way, Josey.” Orange said.
“Hey the one that gets to strip him gets to be the guard.” I said.
“Ah call dibs!” Lee said with his hoof in the air. “Wow… sayin’ that just gave me a tingle in mah lips! Ah should say it more often!”
“No way, Josey! I’m strippin’ him!” Orange said.
“It’s José, O.” Cesaer corrected him. “And besides, you two played your parts. Now it’s my turn to play mine.”
“Ok when your time comes, Cesaer.” I said mischievously as I was already wearing the guard’s outfit.
“Guess we shouldn’ve been arugin’, eh?” Cesaer asked.
“Eh? Which Equestrian border are you from, homie?” Orange asked.
So, wearing the prison guard suit, and in case you’re wondering how it would fit us, don’t worry, most of the guards in this place are young colts anyway. Colt guards guarding colt prisoners. Hey, its stallion guards guarding stallion prisoners in other prisons, so why not? What has made this so easy so far is that foals are usually gullible. They mistook us as one of their own, but when they didn’t...
“Halt!” a guard stopped us. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Prison transfer. We’re going from E block to C block.” I said.
“Why?” the guard asked.
“Because I said so.” I said.
“Oh… ok, that’s a good enough reason for me.” the guard said. “My parents tell me that all the time. Carry on!” And so we did. We were on our way to the front gate, and we just passed the two guards with our disguises. “Nothing to see here. Just a prison transfer to cellblock C.” I said.
“Isn’t cellblock C that way?” one of the guards asked.
“We’re taking the scenic route.” I said.
“Oh… ok, carry on!” the guard said. So we made it the gate, so we were just about ready to get out!
CHOICE A ENDS
CHOICE B: Energy Drink
“So we ready to do this?” Cesaer asked.
“Right! What is it?” Orange asked.
“Energy drink!” Cesaer said as he takes out a bottle that saids NrG Drink.
“What in the hoodlum world is that?” Orange asked.
“A little experiment I made in the kitchen. See like I said, I was training to become a chef, amigo.” Cesaer said.
“It’s a drink though. It’s not culinary, it’s chemistry. Look it up.” Lee corrected him. Just then, Orange bucks him in the leg. “OW! AH WAS STATIN’ A FACT YOU DOOFUS!”
“Well if Lee isn’t going to annoy us any longer, let’s dig in.” Cesaer suggested.
“Are you sure? It says on the bottle, side-effects include nausea, headaches, rapid heartbeat, and possibilities of stroke, and slash or heart attacks.” I pointed out.
“Well that’s good to know.” Lee said.
“Lee drinks it first.” Orange said.
“Couldn’t agree more.” Cesaer said.
“Whateves, ah’m not afraid.” Lee said as he takes the bottle. “Bottoms up.” He said as he drinks the bottle. “Hmm… ah don’t feel any dif-“ That’s pretty much thing we understood from him. From that point forward, he was talking and moving faster than the speed of light.
“How do you feel?” I asked, but then Lee just said one big sentence in just 0.000000000000001 seconds. “It works. Now Cesaer and Orange, your turn!”
“That looks wicket!” Cesaer said as he takes the bottle and drinks it, and then he gives it to Orange.
“Ew, homie. I don’t want your germs.” Orange said. Just then, Cesaer gives him the bottle really fast, like Orange didn’t even have to try to lift his hoof. Orange just shrugged and gulped down the drink without having his lips touch the bottle. “Tastes like viniger. You’re up Jerry.” He said as he gives me the bottle after the drink kicks in; I then drank it myself, and then I through the bottle aside. Once the drink NrG Drink kicked in, I saw the bottle just floating there.
“Whoa, mate! This is trippy!” I said.
“Hmm…” Cesaer thought as he just pokes the cell bars lightly, and then the bars just bent, giving us enough room to escape. “Wicket sick!”
“This stuff is awesome, Cesaer! You really outdid yourself this time!” Orange said.
“Gracias! Let’s go.” Cesaer said. Just then, the four of us just walked out of our jail cell and started walking by the other prison cells and passing by guards, and nopony was even moving. Everything around us seemed to be stopped in time. Cesaer looked mischievously at one of the guards, picks him up, and takes him to a nearby office and throws him head-first into the trash bin. “Heh!” he chuckled. The four of us just continued walking through the prison, and we just pass the warden’s desk as the warden kicks back and enjoys a donut, but being frozen in time. Lee takes the donut and eats it while passing by. Just like that, we made it to the front gates of the prison, which is when the NrG drink’s effects ran out on all of us.
“Oh how unfortunate.” I said.
“Yeah I should’ve wrote down ‘effects may vary’.” Cesaer said.
“Ah’m startin’ to get a headache.” Lee said.
“My heart’s racing.” I said.
“Don’t be nervous, Jer. It’ll just lead to the heart attack.” Cesaer suggested.
“I can’t feel my left legs.” Orange said.
“That’s not good.” I said.
“Oh wait, no.” Orange said as he moves his legs and stomps them on the ground. “They just fell asleep, false alarm.”
CHOICE B ENDS
CHOICE C TELEPORTER
“So we ready to do this?” Cesaer asked.
“Ah got somethin’ that’ll really come in handy!” Lee said.
“Yeah, nopony cares, Lee.” Cesaer said. “So what’s the plan?”
“Oh ah’m sorry, ah wanted to use mah teleporter to get us outta here, but meh, yer call.” Lee shrugged.
“A teleporter?” I asked. “Lee, where did you get a teleporter?”
“Ah made one. Wasn’t that hard to make.” Lee said. “All ah did was just get schematics, some metal, and then bang it with a wrench many times. It’s just like TF2. The engineer from TF2 is mah hero.”
“Huh… well… let’s see how it works.” Orange suggested.
“Alright everypony hang on to me.” Lee instructed them as he takes out his teleporter and starts pressing buttons on it.
“Yeah I’m not one with physical contact, homie. I mean unless I do this.” Orange said as he bucks Lee on the elbow.
“OW!” Lee cried. “Do it again, and yer not comin’ along with us.”
“Yeah, dawg, did anypony tell you that you have nice hair?” Orange asked, sweet-talking on Lee.
“Yeah, sweet-talking won’t get you anywhere, ‘homie’.” Lee said.
“Whoa, man! Just trying to be friendly!” Orange said.
“You had yer chance. Now hang on.” Lee instructed them. So, Orange, Cesaer, and I hung onto Lee as he presses the coordinance and then we all get teleported away from our cell. Just then, we ended up right outside at the shooting range.
“Ready… aim…” one of the guards started.
“Press the button, PRESS THE BUTTON!” Cesaer yelled. So Lee presses the button and we get teleported somewhere else – which was right in the sky.
We were just floating there, like in one of those cartoons, and the mumbled to the others, “Don’t… look… down!”
“Why not?” Cesaer asked as he looks down, and then the four of us start freefalling.
“THIS IS WHY!” I yelled.
“HANG ON!” Lee yelled as we all grab onto Lee again and we all get teleported right in front of the prison exit (from the inside though).
“We’re inside the prison again.” Orange pointed out.
“Press the button again.” Cesaer suggested.
“Nuh uh! Forget it! Ah’m not usin’ this thing anymore! Ah’m not takin’ the risk! Let’s just find a way through this gate and get outta here!” Lee suggested.
CHOICE C ENDS
CHOICE D: FILE
“So we ready to do this?” Cesaer asked.
“Any of you need your hooves filed?” I asked as I took out a hoof filer.
“Where did that come from?” Lee asked.
“Y’know… I have no idea.” I admitted.
“Alright, genius! What are we supposed to do with that little thing?” Orange asked. “We act like a bunch of fillies as we file our nails?”
“Noooo.” I said as I walked over to the cell bars.
“I think our time in here has made Jerry lost his mind.” Orange said.
“Hey, he’s our friend. He’ll know what to do! Has Jerry ever failed us before?” Lee asked. Just then, Orange bucks him the nose. “OW!” Lee cried as he held his nose. “WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!”
“In every other choice I hurt you. Can’t leave out a choice.” Orange said.
“WHAT ARE Y’ALL TALKIN’ ABOUT?!” Lee yelled.
“Done!” I said as I removed one of the cell bars.
“How?” Orange asked.
“Filers work in mysterious ways, mate.” I said as I tossed the filer over to him.
“Mmhm. Yeah, sure.” Orange said sarcastically as he tosses the filer aside.
The four of us climb out of the jail cell as I hold the jail cell pole grasped on my hooves. The guards unfortunately noticed us. One of them tried to tackle me from the front, but I’m able to whack him aside, and then another guard was about to ambush me with a tazer, but that didn’t stop me, so I knocked him out, and the tazer falls on the guard and electrocutes him. Looked pretty hilarious. It’s like one of those cartoon electric static… things.
“Sweet moves, caballo!” Cesaer said impressively.
“Thanks!” I said. Just then, up ahead some guards walk inside the room all the sudden.
“So that’s why I took this job.” A guard said to the other one. “We get paid with free donuts!”
“Hey, it beats mom’s spinach!” the other guard said as they walked towards our position, but luckily, we were swift and hid inside the closet and they didn’t even notice us. Inside the closet we were discussing what to do next.
“Now what?” Lee asked.
“Lee, shush!” Orange demanded. “Now what, Jer?”
“I guess we can try the vents.” I suggested as I looked up and saw an air duct.
“Here.” Lee said as he places a chair below the air duct. “Ah think it would be easier if we stand on this.”
“Be easier if we stood on YOU!” Orange teased.
“Oooooh snap! HA!” Cesaer laughed.
“Yeah, ha ha ha, very funny.” Lee laughed sarcastically. So the four of us climbed up to the vent and started crawling through. We closed the vent behind us, just in case any of the guards would be sneaking around.
“Pfft!” Cesaer spitted. “Dusty in here!”
“Yeah fo’ sho’.” Orange agreed.
“Shhhh!” I shushed them. “We need to be quiet. These vents aren’t exactly sturdy, mates.”
“I can name one thing that’s sturdy.” Orange teased.
“Now? Not the best time, O.” Caesar said.
“What? I was talking about Jerry’s file. For Faust’s sake, Caesar! What is in that mind of yours?” Orange complained.
“Wait ah feel somethin’ shakin’.” Lee pointed out. Just then, the vent collapses below us and we fall right in the middle of a prison corridor, right in front of two guards.
“Fatty McFatty pants you are Lee.” Orange complained.
“HEY!” Lee yelled. “Ah’m not even wearin’ any pants! Ah’m wearin’ a jumpsuit!”
“GET ‘EM!” one of the guards yelled. The four of us quickly got up and started running, like really fast. Ok, not LIKE really fast, just really fast. We were running and running through the corridors as fast as we could as the guards chased us behind us. I looked like I was about to run into a wall, but when I got there, I walked on the wall, back flipped and followed the others to the front gate. We all stopped suddenly as one guard was guarding the front gate with a paintball gun.
“Allow me, fellas.” Lee said as he glares at the guard, and the guard glares at him back as The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly theme song plays in the background. Lee and the guard were just standing there, waiting for somepony to make a move. The guard took his first shot, but Lee with his badflank moves grabbed it and threw it back at him. Lee then blew his hoof, and all the other guards surrounding us were paranoid. General Lee then suddenly started walking real slowly and mischievously through the corridors, and we just slowly followed him along. Lee then gives a smirky wink to one of the paranoid guards and aims his hoof at him. The guard then drops his gun and puts his hooves in the air, and just like that, the guards all ran away, and we made it to the front gate. “And that boys, is how you do it!”
“Impressive!” I nodded. “Very, very impressive, Lee!”
“Much obliged, Jer! Now let’s get outta here!” Lee said.
CHOICE D ENDS
“The front gate. What do we do now?” Caesar asked.
“We open it of course.” I said.
“Allow me!” Lee suggested as he walks over to the keypad. “They lockdown the prison every night, and ah found out the only way to open it is to type in a password.”
“I don’t trust you, Lee.” Orange said.
“Yeah, holms, neither do I. You’ll get us all into trouble.” Caesar said.
“Relax, partners! Ah know what ah’m doin’! Ah’m an expert hacker!” Lee said.
“It’s true. I never seen anything Lee can’t hack open. He’s an expert in these things!” I said. “That’s why I let him on the team! Not just his driving abilities.”
“Access denied.” The security system said. “Lockdown sequence activated. Keypad locked. Alert! Alert!” Just then, an alarm started going off.
“LEE!” Cesaer yelled. “What did you do, ese?!”
“Ah just pressed 1-1-1-1 thinkin’ that would work, and then the whole thing locked.” Lee said.
“YOU MORON!” Orange yelled.
“They usually give more than one chances!” Lee yelled.
“Forget it! RUN!” I yelled. Just then we all ran into eachother.
“WHERE DO WE GO?!” Cesaer yelled.
“Uhh, that way! To the courtyard! We’ll use the wall!” I suggested.
“It’s as good of a try as any. Let’s do it!” Lee said. So we all ran outside as the guards were searching the prison, looking for us. We all ran up to the wall leading to our escape. The wall was the last obstacle. “What do y’all think? Any ideas?”
“C’mon, J! You’re the brains here!” Cesaer said to me.
Any of you ready for more choices? This time, we’re going to put your choice skills to the test. There’s only one right answer. It’ll come in handy for choices later on, so I’ll try to make this one simple.
CHOICE A: Shovel
“We dig our way out.” I said as I spotted some shovels on the ground and gave them to my friends.
“Why in the world are shovels lyin’ around in a prison yard?” Lee asked. “Won’t that prove that prisoners could escape?”
“If Lee disagrees, I agree!” Orange said.
“Ah didn’t say ah disagreed, you doofus! Ah had about enough of ya!” Lee yelled angrily as he was about to hit Orange in the head with a shovel.
“No, Lee! Focus on the task at hoof. We need that shovel to get outta here.” I said. “You hit him in the head with it, you’ll break it.”
“Yeah, LEE!” Orange agreed.
“Just wait until we get outta here. Ah won’t have to see you losers ever again!” Lee said.
“Alright, you ready?” I asked. “Let’s dig!” Just then, the four of us started digging the ground real fast; except for Lee, however. He used a jackhammer.
“Ah’m an original.” Lee said. Once we got to the bottom, we hit some underground train tracks.
“Train tracks?” Cesaer asked.
“Oh that’s what that rumbling sound below us was!” Orange said. Just then, we heard a choo-choo up ahead and a bright light. Something was coming at us fast. I guess you know what’s going to happen next.
CHOICE A FAILED
CHOICE B: DYNAMITE
“We blow up the wall.” I suggested as I found some dynamite lying around.
“Why in the world are explosives lyin’ around in a prison yard?” Lee asked. “Won’t that prove that prisoners could escape, or blow up the prison, or eachother? It’s not even safe for these kids in juvey to use!”
“If Lee disagrees, I agree!” Orange said.
“Ah didn’t say ah disagreed, you doofus! Ah had about enough of ya!” Lee yelled angrily as he lights a stick of dynamite and was about to place it in Orange’s prison jumpsuit.
“No, Lee! Focus on the task at hoof. We need this dynamite to get outta here.” I said. “We’ll need all the explosives we need!”
“Yeah, LEE!” Orange agreed.
“Just wait until we get outta here. Ah won’t have to see you losers ever again!” Lee said as he throws the dynamite aside and blows up a statue of the warden.
“NOOOOOOOOOO!” the warden cried. “You have any idea how long it took to build that?! I mean, I know the prisoners built that, but STILL!”
“Alright, you ready?” I asked as we placed the explosives on the wall. “Fire in the hole!” I yelled as I push down on the detonator as Orange, Cesaer, and Lee all held their ears, but once I pressed the detonator, nothing happened. So the four of us did the dumbest move we could make. Walk towards the explosives and checked on them. Once I gave the explosives a slight poke, the whole prison blows up. All except the wall.
“Beep, beep!” the roadrunner said as it ran passed us.
“HEY! Where are my explosives?!” Willie E. Coyote cried.
“We dunno, ese.” Cesaer shrugged. Ok that plan didn’t work, what’s next?
CHOICE B FAILED
CHOICE C: Teleporter
“Lee, you still have that teleporter with you?” I asked.
”By still, do you mean we’re usin’ it again, or this is the first time we’re usin’ it in general?” Lee asked.
“Doesn’t matter. We’re teleporting out!.” I suggested.
“Aww yeah, baby! Finally! General Lee has his uses!” Lee said excitedly. “But ah thought we weren’t usin’ it anymore? We could’ve used it to get outta here before!”
“If Lee agrees, I disagree!” Orange said.
“Ah didn’t say ah agreed, you doofus! Actually… ah did, but still, ah had about enough of ya!” Lee yelled angrily as he was about to smash Orange in the head with his teleporter.
“No, Lee! Focus on the task at hoof. We need that teleporter to get outta here!” I said.
“Yeah, LEE!” Orange agreed.
“Just wait until we get outta here. Ah won’t have to see you losers ever again!” Lee said as he presses the coordinance on his teleporter.
“I hope you don’t mess up this time, holms.” Cesaer said.
“Ah’ll mess YOU up in a minute!” Lee mumbled to himself.
“Que?” Cesaer asked.
“Nothin’, nothin’.” Lee said. “Alright, hang on. We’re teleportin’ outta here.” So the three of us held onto Lee, as we were about to teleport outta here. Once we teleported out, we ended up right outside of the prison. “Yay! It worked!” Lee cried out in excitement.
“Haven’t lost faith in ya, mate!” I said.
“Wait a minute though… something ain’t right here.” Cesaer said.
“What do you mean?” I asked. Just then, we found out we were all fused together as some freak of nature.
“Great! I’m stuck with you two weirdos for the rest of my life as well as Lee!” Orange yelled.
“WHY YOU LITTLE-“ Lee yelled angrily as he started strangling Orange’s neck, which was attached to Cesaer’s shoulder, which was attached to my leg, which was attached to Lee’s stomach. Trust me, we would’ve tried the teleporter again, but we didn’t want to risk making things worse.
CHOICE C FAILED
CHOICE D: GRAPPLE HOOK
“We climb over the wall.” I suggested as I found a grappling hook lying around.
“Why in the world is a grapplin’ hook lyin’ around in a prison yard?” Lee asked. “Won’t that prove that prisoners could escape? Seein’ these things just put here could make ya think somepony’s tryin’ to set ya up.”
“If Lee disagrees, I agree!” Orange said.
“Ah didn’t say ah disagreed, you doofus! Ah had about enough of ya!” Lee yelled angrily as he was about to choke Orange with the rope that grappling hook was on.
“No, Lee! Focus on the task at hoof. We need that hook to get outta here!” I said.
“Yeah, LEE!” Orange agreed.
“Just wait until we get outta here. Ah won’t have to see you losers ever again!” Lee said as he throws the hook to Cesaer, since he’s pretty good at throwing stuff. Once Cesaer throws the hook over the wall, he gives it a tug to make sure it’s in place. Cesaer nodded his head, and the four of us walked over and climbed up. Lee was first, followed by Orange, me, and Cesaer.
“Great! Now I have to look at Lee’s fat behind as I climb up!” Orange complained.
“Shhh!” I shushed them. “Will you stop arguing? We’ll get spotted!” Just then, I jinxed it. A spotlight shined on us and an alarm started going off, and we also heard some barking. “COME ON AND SLAM! WELCOME TO THE JAM!” I yelled.
“What?” Cesaer asked.
“CLIMB!” I yelled. So we started climbing really fast; as fast as we could. The prison guards as well as whatever the barking is coming from started charging towards us. Lee made it to the top of the wall, looked down and saw we were still trying to climb. “We’re almost there!” I said.
“We’re goin’ to make it! We’re goin’ to make it!” Cesaer said excitedly. The prison guards were almost at the rope. Lee was feeling pretty nervous for us, and he started feeling even more nervous because he looked from both sides of him and he saw prison guards coming from both directions over the wall.
“HURRY!” Lee yelled.
“We’re going as fast we can!” I yelled.
“Lee you little garbage pile, HELP US!” Orange yelled. The guards from both sides of the wall were cutting it close, as well as the guards from below them. Lee was really feeling scared. He thought there was no use. Just then, Lee takes out the shiv he made in the cafeteria. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT THING?!” Orange yelled.
“Ah’m…. ah’m sorry!” Lee said as a tear drop fell from his eye. “There is no use. Ah don’t want to do this, but… what other choice to ah have?”
”Go ahead, do it! End your misery! As well as our misery from having you around!” Orange dared him.
“What do you take me for, Orange?!” Lee yelled. “Ah’m not doin’ THAT! But ah am doin’ this!” Lee takes the shiv and starts cutting the rope to the grapple.
“GENERAL LEE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Orange yelled.
“What’s going on up there?” I asked.
“Ah’m sorry, Jerry!” Lee said upsettingly. “Ah’ll make it up to you some day! Ah promise!” Just then, Lee cuts the rope and we start to fall down back into the prison yard.
“LEEEEEEEEE!” I yelled as we all fell down on top of eachother.
“Wow… that was a soft landing.” Orange said.
“Not to me.” Cesaer said with his face planted on the ground.
“You’ll need this, Jer.” Lee whispered to himself as he throws the shiv off the wall and into the prison yard (luckily not landing on top of anyone). Lee yells out his Dixie-horn and then he jumps off the wall and he started running to freedom.
CHOICE D FAILED?
Ok, so those weren’t really simple choices, but your mind was blown, wasn’t it? Anyways, after General Lee ran to freedom, yelling his Dixie-horn multiple times as he was running, the guards, as well as one crazy gray-haired blue-coated filly that barked like a guard dog surrounded us. The warden mischievously walked towards us and said, “Consider yourselves staying here a lot longer.” The warden chuckled.
“General Lee…. I knew there was something not right about him.” Orange said. “When we get outta here… he’s gonna pay for this!”
“I agree 100%!” Cesaer said. “He sold us out big time. He probably set this whole charade up! Why else would we have the supplies out here lying around to help us get outta here? General Lee was a big fat joke! Right, J? J?” I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t believe it. General Lee was loyal to… well… he was loyal to me at least. Why would he do this? I felt really heartbroken. General Lee was my best friend. I really thought the worse from him, but… perhaps this wasn’t intentional, because I did see Lee drop his shiv before he left. The guards didn’t see it, only I did. I have to get it the next morning before any other prisoner does.
Well, by the looks of it; it doesn’t seem like I turned myself in at all. Our sentence here has been added, and mainly the only thing that makes this stay here even more tough, is that there’s only three of us here, now that General Lee is gone. Once I get outta here, I have to find him, and find out why he did this, but I have to find him before Orange and Cesaer do. I can only expect them to do the worst to him. I just need to find him, and find out why, but in the meantime, more prison time awaits.