"Beautiful day, isn't it?" said Nappa. He and Fluttershy were currently trudging over some heavy snow in order to reach the Crystal Empire.
"Yeah, a perfect day for a walk," agreed Fluttershy.
"Um, not to ruin your mood, but HOW IS ANY OF THIS BEAUTIFUL?!?" shouted Twilight over the harsh conditions of the blazing winter storm. The group had barely managed to survive thanks to Shining Armor who met them halfway on their journey. Not from the weather, but from Nappa...
----
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"Faust damn it Nappa! We haven't left Canterlot! Shut up!" yelled Twilight.
"Sorry."
"Thank you."
And five seconds later...
"Are we there yet?"
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"
----
This did not stop until they met up with Shining. The only ones who weren't affected by Nappa's pestering was Pinkie and Fluttershy because Pinkie is Pinkie and Fluttershy doesn't give a crap...
...unless it's Michael McDoesn't-exist, then that's a whole different story. If she manages to screw him over, Alucard will give her her very own 70inch plasma screen Tv with Netflix, but not in 3D because it is, and quoted by Alucard,
"It's a stupid fucking gimmick and everybody knows it!"
So true.
"Oh lighten up Twilight," said Fluttershy, "don't be such a fun Nazi."
"I have no idea what that means." said Twilight. "Anyways, we shouldn't let this snowstorm stop us! When have we ever faced an obstacle and suffered from it? And don't answer that Pinkie!" Pinkie closed her mouth before she could say anything. Suddenly, the sounds of hooves can be heard around them. The snowstorm died down a little, and what the group saw was at least thirteen black crystal ponies that seem to radiate hate and more hate. They all had swords and spears and seem to be ready to attack them.
"You are all fools," taunted a mysterious dark voice. There standing right in front of them was none other then the tyrant himself, King Sombra, standing all high and...
"BAW HA HA HA HA!" laughed Fluttershy. "He's so bucking short and fat! How are you so intimidating?" The rest of the group couldn't help but laugh as well. This was the so called tyrant? The same one who caused the curse of the Crystal Empire? What did Chrysalis see in this guy?
"Silence!" yelled Sombra. Apparently, despite his physical appearance, his voice sounded like a deep, sinister lord and manage to silence the crowd, minus Fluttershy who was still laughing. "I wouldn't be laughing if I were you. As you can see, you are surrounded be my thirteen elite..."
Boom
And then Nappa flicked his fingers up.
----
Chrysalis was busy looking at the Vogue magazine that was in front of her when a bright flash shone into the room. She looked out the window and saw a huge mushroom cloud over the horizon where the route to the Crystal Empire was located. She couldn't help but opened the window and yelled,
"SUCK IT SOMBRA!"
----
The smoke cleared and what Twilight, her friends and brother saw were ashes where the dark crystal guards once were. Nopony said anything for a while.
"sigh, I hate awkward silences," said Nappa. Sombra on the other hand (hoof?) had an expression that said one thing...
...if he doesn't get out of this, he's going to be deader than disco and the minds of Justin Beiber's fans combined.
"...dead guards," finished speaking the tyrant after seeing his soldiers killed by the bald bipedal creature with ease. "Damn, I honestly thought this will work."
"Aw, don't let it get to your head. The important thing is that you tried your best." assured Nappa. He then appeared in front of Sombra. "Well, it was nice knowing you. You could pray for help, but sadly for you, everybody important to you is dead."
"They've been dead for over a milleniu-"
"Everybody important," repeated Nappa. Sombra can only sigh in frustration. "Now then, NAPPA SMASH!" Nappa lifted his foot and brought it down with enough force to crack the ground. He then lifted his leg to see his work, only to discover that Sombra is not under there. "What the?! Where did he went?! Did he disappeared? Or..." he turned toward the audience (AKA You)
"...was he never there to begin with." The camera zooms in on Nappa as the color grayed amd ominous music played in the background. "Oh wait a minute, he's over there!" True enought, Sombra was now a couple feet away from them.
"Like Tartarus I'll let my flank get squashed by you!" yelled Sombra.
"Oh come on," said Twilight. "It's not like you can get any shorter."
"Says the mare who has social anxiety." Sombra said flatly.
"Hey! I got friends!" argued Twilight.
"Not according to your MyPony page," said Sombra as he made a laptop magically appear that showed Twilight's MyPony page.
"Damn it!"
Twilight Own Count: 9
"You still used MyPony?!" questioned her entire group of friends plus Shining and Spike (who was asleep the whole time on Rarity's flank.... you sneaky bastard). "Lame!"
"Aww ponyfeathers!"
Twilight Own Count: 10
"Let's see here," said Sombra as he checked Twilight's friends list. "You have Celestia, some doll name Smartypants, some guy name Tom, and Michael McDoesn't-exist."
"THE BUCK?!?" shouted Fluttershy. Meanwhile, a faint "THE FUCK?!?" can be heard far away.
"If that's not social anxiety, then I don't know what that is, sooooooo," Sombra then cast a spell to teleport out of there, while leaving a message on the ground that said, and if a certain changeling queen were to see it, she will get pissed,
I banged all of Chrysa-bitch's holes!
"Ooooooh, Chrysalis is going to be pissed," chanted Nappa.
"Sombra escaped, amd you know what that means," said Twilight.
"Yeah," spoke Spike. "Time for you to get a PonyBook account."
"Bitch please, it's all about Insta-mare," scoffed Fluttershy with Nappa nodding with agreement. "Everypony's using it."
"Ugh," groaned Twilight. "When did my life get so complicated?"
"Weeeeelllllllllll..."
"Don't...answer....that....Pinkie."
----
Sombra appeared at his castle going over plans to take down the mares and bipedal freak. "I need some help, but who?"
"I can help you," said a voice. Sombra turned and saw a man wearing the same armor Nappa wore but had hair unlike Nappa on his head.
"Who are you?" asked Sombra.
"Since I'm the only one of my kind in this place, I am the strongest warrior known to what ever you are. I am Raditz, the only person ever to survive hell by punching Yemma's little birdie. I can take on anything!"
----
Popo and Alucard looked at each other after seeing Raditz appear on Tv. "Dude," said Alucard.
"Yeah?"
"Go make some toast and grabbed a couple of beers. This is going to be fucking hilarious!"