I didn't dream anything last night, yet... it was very comforting all the same. Perhaps it’s because nightmares plagued me before and during my captivity.
When I started waking up, I became aware of something warm pressed against my side and under my wing... s. When I look to see, I see Fluttershy curled up beside me with a soft smile on her face. The same smile I woke up to when we were foals and she crawled into my bed at night when she was scared of something.
Am I really such a comfort to her?
I slowly removed myself from her bed, making sure she stayed comfortable, before heading down into the living room. Some of her animal friends had already woken up and were now regarding me with curiosity. Once again noticing my harp, I decided to try playing it for the first time since I first arrived in Ponyville.
I remembered enough about tuning to do so as I held the harp in one of my main wings, but I kept going off-key for the only song I knew how to play. I quickly regained my feeling for the song and started playing the song properly, with a few delays in the timing. As I started hitting all of the notes correctly, I noticed plenty of the animals gathering to hear my performance. It embarrassed me somewhat, but I played on regardless.
As I hit the last note and brought myself to a rest, I heard a soft sigh. I look to find Fluttershy with her eyes closed. "That was a beautiful piece."
I smile nervously. "It's... the only thing I know how to play on a harp."
"That doesn't mean it's not good." She shakes her head slightly as I put the harp down and started going into the kitchen to prepare breakfast for the both of us when she gasped. “Oh, your wings. The feathers are all misaligned.”
I look and noticed she was talking about my secondary wings. Because I neglected them before, their feathers were going in almost every direction.
“Huh… I never noticed. I suppose I’ll straighten them out before I leave-- ack!” I start squeaking as Fluttershy started preening them because of how sensitive they were.
When she finished and my secondary wing feathers were in order, I was red in the face from the activity. “S-sorry. I knew they were sensitive, but I couldn’t just leave them like that.” She gives me an affectionate nuzzle before heading outside to feed her animals.
Why go to such lengths for a ‘brother’ you’ve only recently reunited with?
I sigh as I went into the kitchen to make pancakes for breakfast.
They were ready by the time she was done her rounds. "Oh? You didn't need to."
"I figured something like this would make your day a bit more convenient." I shrug.
She smiles. "It will, thank you. I need to head into town to pick up more food for the animals, so I won't be back right away."
I nod. "Alright. There are some things I need to get done in town as well, so lets eat up."
I need to head to Rarity's to get my suit sorted out... even though I doubt she will do it for me. For convenience's sake, I'll see if I can buy a watch of some kind to keep better track of time, Celestia knows how I can forget the time all the time...
After that... I think I'm free until the crusaders get out of school.
Deciding to start getting use out of my newly-preened secondaries, I focused on flapping all four wings in an attempt to re-synchronize them. It was difficult, but something I forced myself to do, lest I suffer Rainbow’s wraith.
I almost reached Ponyville when a thought shot across my mind, halting me on the spot.
Wait my back wings are exposed and the only ones who know are the girls and the crusaders!
Just because my friends and the crusaders accepted my wings doesn't mean the rest of the ponies would as well. Deciding against cutting straight to Rarity's, I started to skirt around town.
"There you are, Zephyr!" I dropped a bit in the air when I heard Twilight call to me. "I tried visiting you in the hospital, but they said you were cleared to leave that afternoon."
"O-oh... I uh, left for Cloudsdale with Fluttershy to get my work situation sorted out."
She gives a concerned look. "Are you sure you're fine to be out and about? I'd thought Fluttershy would be more opposed to letting you out early considering how fretful she was over you when you were brought in."
So worried and concerned so soon after remembering me... why?
Twilight must of noticed the look on my face because she shook her head. "You should keep taking it easy, okay? I know I would be fretful over MY big brother if he was in a similar situation." She widened her eyes. "Oh, but where is my mind today? I wanted you to come see something in the library quick."
This made me drop to the ground and backpedal a bit. "That's in the middle of town right? My wings aren't covered up! What if--"
She rolls her eyes and suddenly teleports behind me. Before I can even react, she starts pushing me into town. "You'll be fine, Zephyr. The townsponies are more accepting than what you give them credit for. Give them a chance."
"Alright alright alright, I'll go! Um... er... if you really want me to..." I raised my voice against her, only to regret it immediately afterwards. Twilight stopped pushing me and I shrank to the ground, gave her a worried look, and hoped she wasn't even madder at me for doing so.
She must of missed the reason behind my worried look when she rolled her eyes in amusement. "You and Fluttershy act pretty similar too. Don't worry, it'll only take about five to ten minutes of your time."
She started walking ahead and I followed her closely, wondering why she didn't erupt into flames on me. I've heard horror stories of unicorns turning their manes into fire in times of great stress and rage, so much to the point that I tried to make it a point to not tick any of them off. In hindsight, I failed that miserably with TWO unicorns.
I winced every time a pony looked at me and my secondary wings while we headed through town. Many of the earth ponies regarded me with mild curiosity while most unicorns looked only somewhat curious. A lot of the pegasi looked mildly shocked when they saw me, which made me cringe in fear of inevitable retribution. The part that confused me the most on the other hoof was when Ditzy saw me and, despite seeing my extra wings, gave me a smile and a wave.
After what felt like an eternity for me, we reached the library.
"A-alright... what is it you wanted--"
"Well look what the cat dragged in." I nearly jump out of my coat when I heard Rainbow speak. Seeing my reaction, she raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Geez, you really need to lighten up. You look like you're about ready to faint."
I don't understand! After what had happened, why is she so casual with me? Even her challenge yesterday noted her clear hatred for me, yet--
"Give the poor stallion a break, Rainbow." I once again almost jump out of my coat when I hear Applejack speak, though she didn't see me. "Can you blame him after all he's been through?"
"I'm just saying!"
Applejack shakes her head before turning and seeing my frightened expression. "Sugahcube, ya alright there?"
"Y-y-yes, I-I'm just p-peachy here!" When she deadpanned, I squeak and drop to the floor again. "I'm sorry! I'll make it up to you, return the favor! I pinkie promise!"
Now she was confused like Rainbow and Twilight. "Beg yer pardon? How are you going to return the favor? Wait, scratch that! What Favor and make what up?"
"I don't know, I'll just do whatever you want for how long you want!"
Twilight's turn to deadpan. "Are you sure you're okay? You certainly aren't acting like it."
"Nonono, I'm good, great, awesome, outstanding, amazing!"
"All I did was press A!"
I barely hear what sounds like a young colt say something almost in response to my uncontrollable jabbering. Three of us ignored it, but Rainbow deadpanned in the direction the voice came from.
Applejack shakes her head. "Zephyr, please be honest with us. Why are you freaking out so much?"
"A-aren't you mad at me for q-quitting the w-way I did?"
She sighs. "Ah'm not gonna lie, ah'm still a might bit irritated over it. But ah'm not going to hold that against you, not after what you said about yourself." I flinched at the subtle reference to the fact that they somehow knew what I had said. More than anything, I was confused.
Why?
Twilight cleared her throat. "Right. Zephyr there's something I wanted to give you. During our escape from the lab, we managed to get some research notes that I think will interest you. I wanted to get them to you yesterday, but I couldn't find you." This broke me out of my stupor as she levitated a few sheets of paper towards me.
Hesitating, I grab them from her aura with my right wing. This earned a snort from Rainbow. "There's THAT talent again, I'm almost jealous, except I'm not."
I didn't say anything and read through the notes. I quickly discover what was written down about my inherent magic and some of my physical attributes. "I-I guess this is why... I reacted the way I did that one day."
"Ah'm a might bit sorry 'bout that, sugahcube. If ah knew that, ah wouldn't of done what ah did."
So my own magic is going to make me look racist against earth ponies... wonderful. It does explain some things I was confused about, like why I lose feathers at least once a day.
Rainbow got up and stretched. "Well I'm going to go practice some of my tricks. Remember Zephyr, you better be practicing with both pairs of wings for our rematch." With that, she flew out the window, leaving me slightly shocked.
Applejack sighs. "That mare sometimes..." She turns to me. "Look, if ya need anything at all, don't be afraid to talk to us. Yer also welcome back on the farm anytime you want, ya hear?" I simply nod dumbly as she exited the library.
I said my quiet farewells to Twilight, who said the same thing Applejack said. With that, I once again flew towards Rarity's boutique, confused thoughts swarming my head despite my attempts to clear them out.
When I landed in front of her door, I once again started having second thoughts about asking her for something like this. I still remember the fact that I turned on them, as well as the fact that they recently saved me, and it once again has me convinced I shouldn't be asking any favors. I would be grateful even if she had a steep cost for doing something like this for me, yet my reluctance kept making me hesitate when I went to knock on the door.
Of course whatever was giving me my blessings earlier decided to curse me once again when Rarity suddenly opened the door. "Oh, I thought I heard somepony landing in front of my boutique. What can I do for you, Zephyr?"
"Err... um... c-could you h-help me with something?"
She rolls her eyes. "No need to sound nervous, dear. Come on in, I just need to apply the finishing touches to one of my dresses then I can help you."
She opens the door wider and trots to the back. I entered in a skittish manner, wondering what I should say or how to act.
Surely, she still hates me like the others... right? Then why was she so willing to...
"You can come to the back now, Zephyr. I'm all finished." I gulp as I head into the back room where Rarity was. When she saw me again, she gives me a warm smile. "Now what is it that you need of me?"
"W-well... my suit had something... happen to it. D-do you think you can fix it?" I pull my suit out of my saddle bag and give it to her. When I inspected it again earlier, I was appalled to have found little tears on the suit, somehow missing them when I saw the cake stains last night.
Rarity took it in her magic and inspected it, frowning at all of the little tears in the fabric much to my growing displeasure. When she saw the cake stains her eyes widened a bit, like she recognized them, but she didn't say anything.
While she was doing all of this, I simply stood there fidgeting and expecting her to decline. I still thought I didn't do anything to deserve any sort of favor and that I should be the one taking favors from HER. I kind of knew what I was getting into coming here, as the coat had suddenly became one of the things dear to me as a relic of a past long gone, but sitting in the boutique at that point felt incredibly... wrong.
It felt wrong to the point where my mental dam broke. "Look, I know you probably hate my guts and that I shouldn't be asking any favors, especially after you saved me, but this is actually very important to me and I didn't know who else to go to. If you decline or even charge a hefty price for it, I'll completely understand and will gladly compensate for my inability to take care some something properly. I've done nothing but cause misery to you and your friends, yet I ask for favors like your my friend even though you owe me nothing and that I should be the one to repay you--"
I was cut off when I felt a hoof touch my muzzle. During my blabbering, I had unconsciously closed my eyes and there was minor tear build-up in my eyes.
I open my eyes and saw Rarity holding her hoof against my muzzle. "That's quite enough, Zephyr. I'm sure one of the girls already said this and I'll say it again; none of us hate you anymore for what you did. You reacted in the face of apparent betrayal because we were unaware of your horrible past with such circumstances."
"But I--"
"Another thing is, I understand that everything that has happened to you might confuse you because all of your past endeavors with friendship never gave you the same results. Favors aren't a currency to be traded or sold. They are things friends do for each other out of the goodness of their heart, because we believe that by doing so we can help strengthen our bonds with one another and that we will be there for each other in our moments of weakness."
I suddenly remember back to the night of the gala and what Iron told me. "Believing in your friends and embracing that belief by forgiving failure..." I utter softly.
She beams at me. "Exactly!" She returned to a worried expression. "As such, don't keep blaming yourself for something you didn't have control over and stop thinking we all hate you. Especially poor Fluttershy, she was worried sick over you after she confirmed you as her brother. If you keep thinking like that, it'll tear her apart."
I looked at the floor, partially out of shame. If my interaction with Applejack was of any significance, they were actively trying to make amends with me, yet I keep burying myself in the role of a wounded and victimized, tragic hero.
I was once again running away from my problems.
Rarity sighs and I look back up at her. "Give it some time dear. You're still probably shell-shocked from your ordeal in that cold laboratory." She motions to the suit in her magic. "On a much brighter note, I can indeed fix all of this damage with little effort, no need to pay for any of it."
"Ah... yes... thank you."
She smiles and gives me a hug, inadvertently causing her magic to cancel out and drop the suit. "And I should thank you for what you did for me back at the Gala. Even though you fled afterwards, that's the most chivalrous thing anypony had done for me that night."
I nod as she broke the hug. She deadpans at the grounded suit before picking it back up and putting it to the side. After a while, I said my farewells and exited her boutique, the crushing feeling of self-loathing hanging over me.
I got the watch I needed and played with the crusaders, but I had the feeling they knew I was troubled, even if they didn't say anything.
When I returned to Fluttershy's cottage, she was already making dinner. "Oh there you are, Zephyr. I was wondering where you were--"
She stopped talking when I abruptly hug her from behind. "I'm sorry for worrying you..."
She sighs as she touches my foreleg with a hoof. "You are alive and with me. That's all I need."