I looked around my cell for the hundredth time, crystal bars, crystal walls, crystal floor, crystal ceiling, and my clothes just sat there on the floor. "Hey!" I yelled to the guard who I knew was nearby. "When do I get out of here?!" I yelled in question, for the hundredth time. I heard the guard groan, then his face appeared at the bars.
"For the hundredth time, NOT UNTIL WE KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU!" He yelled, I grinned, knowing that i was getting on his nerves. He would crack soon, hopefully.
"Ah, so you were keeping count to?" I asked, he looked confused for a second, then realized what he had said.
"Why you little-" the guard said, then he turned away from the bars, swearing to his hearts desire. I sat there laughing, the guard threw me a dirty look, then returned to where ever he was positioned.
'I gotta think of a way out of here' I thought to myself, then a brilliant idea came to mind. "Hey guard?"
"WHAT?!"
"PANCAKE!" I yelled out, hearing an angry and confused grunt before he popped in front of the bars.
"THAT'S IT! I'M COMING IN AND SHUTTING YOU UP BECAUSE I'M DONE WITH THIS!" He yelled, clearly angry that I'd done nothing but bug him. He threw all protocols out the door, unlocked the door and came in, a metal bat in had. Why did he have a metal bat and spear or sword? Using the loosness of the chains, i moved as much as possible, avoiding the attack, sorta. The bat smashed into the chains holding me up, somehow breaking it. But he didn't seem to notice. He swung three more times, first two towards my legs, anger blinding him as he smashed the last chain on my arm. I was now standing on the floor in front of him, a smile of victory spread on my face.
"I'm in trouble now" is all he said while panting, clearly tired from swinging the bat so much. Raising a fish, I punched him straight in his nose, knocking him out. Waving my fist from the pain his nose offered, I wasted no more time and went to my clothes. I quickly put my clothes on, including my coat, feeling the comfort it brought as well. I searched my pockets for my phone, but couldn't find it anywhere. Remembering what that lavender pony said about searching through my stuff, it was clear where it was.
"That bitch" I said in annoyance, before I grabbed the bat and ran towards the cell door. Before I exited, I looked back at the guard. 'Hmm, might as well reward him for offering my escape' I thought. I walked over to him, stripped him of his clothes. 'Now for the finishing touch!' I unzipped my pants, and doused his clothes. 'Perfect!'
~~~~~1 Hour Later~~~~~
The guard woke up, rubbing his head a few times. He looked down to see that he was stripped of everything but his boxers. "Oh ho ho! That little asshole is going down!" He mumbled in anger, before he saw his clothes to the left then put them on. They looked odd, but he thought nothing of it. He put them on, but he noticed they didn't smell right, and realized his clothes were slightly damp. He took a long whiff of his shirt, before he turned his head and puked. "Seriously?!" He yelled out in anger, a new found hatred for the mysterious creature growing.
~~~~~Back to Zach~~~~~
I was walking through the crystal castle, searching for any sign of the lavender mare who took my phone. I looked in a room as I passed by, the lavender mare was standing there, talking to a few guards. Ducking out of sight before they would notice, I hid just on the other side of the hall, thinking of a plan. "Perfect!" I mumbled to myself.
I ran into the room, yelling random German words! They jumped from the surprising entry, but the guards took immediate action and aimed their now drawn spears at me. I swung the bat at the guard closest to me, hearing an audible 'thump' sound, as the bat sent him to the ground. The second guard lunged at me, but I leaned backwards and a little to the left to avoid the attack. Sadly, I'm no video game character, and gravity still took it's toll. *thump*
"God damn gravity!" I yelled, annoyed by physics. I was about to get up, but was met with a spear. Seeing no way to successfully avoid the attack now, i raised my hands. "Aw, well, I surrender" I said, he nodded, letting me stand, spear still close to me. "NOT!" I practically screamed, before grabbing the bat and letting loose a wild swing, hitting the guard in the head. He did the cartoony action of sticking his tongue out before falling over. I smiled at my victory, before I looked at the lavender one.
"Alright, if you have told me your name, I forgot, and if you didn't.....then I forgot!" I said, shrugging my shoulders a little. She stared at me for a couple of seconds, clearly not happy. Suddeny, she burst.
"What do you think your doing?!" She asked in an upset tone, and I had no idea what she was talking about. "We were going to let you out in a few hours, we told you this earlier!" She practically yelled at me, showing that she was clearly mad at me.
"Alright, first off, what did I look like when you told me this? Cause I fall asleep with my eyes open. And secondly, you still didn't tell me your name!" I said, she just stared at me in utter confusion, or was she trying to understand me? Probably confusion.
She sighed then face palmed then looked up at me, "my name is Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship" she said, I rubbed my chin for a few seconds, pondering on what she meant.
"So, you're of a royal family?" I asked, she gave me a confused look then scratched her chin.
"I don't know really, but why aren't you bowing? Normally everyone bows when they learn I'm a princess!" She said, I looked around for a second, expecting something to happen. I shrugged my shoulders.
"Well I'm sorry Princess" in a very sarcastic tone, before I gave a small bow. "Expect none of that from now on, you're not getting it so enjoy that one and only bow" I said, giving her a small smile, trying to seem friendly. But she had something of mine. I stopped smiling and grabbed her shoulders, "where is it?!" I asked, she was pretty much frozen in my grasp as I shook her all cartoony like.
"W-what are you talking about?!" She asked in a bit of panic. I stared her right in the eyes.
"My phoooone-A!" I said, she stared back at me in confusion.
"Phoooone-A?" She asked.
"Phoooone-A!"
"Phoooone-A
PHOOOONE-A!"
"Whats a phoooone-A?" She asked, I looked at the table on the far side of the room. Right there, sitting almost perfectly fine, was my phone.
"Ahahahaha! I got my phone back!" I yelled as I ran over to it, picking it up, I got into a pitching stance for some stupid reason. "And now for me to escape!" I said as I threw my phone at Twilight, laughing all the way. It hit her square in the face, causing her to fall over out of pure confusion and surprise. As fast as I could manage, I ran over and grabbed my phone, then I ran into the hall. I looked for the best route for escape, then I saw it. A window at the end of the hall. I started sprinting as fast as I could towards it! Which wasn't exactly fast, but good enough. I looked back to see an angry Twilight. She was looking me right in the eyes. I looked back in front, and realized how close the window was now.
I ran straight into the window, smashing it to pieces and right out the other side. I looked down to see that we were on the second floor, the fall looking unpleasant. "AHSHITAHSHITAHSHI-" *Plomp*
~~~~~Some Time Later~~~~~
I opened my eyes, everything was a little fuzzy. I rubbed my eyes, noticing that I wasn't strapped to wherever I was, and I sat up. I was in what looked like a hospital, it had beds all over the place, IVs next to them, and a a couple filled with ponies. What kind of a hospital was as open as this one? it didn't make sense.
"I see you're awake" I heard someone say, then Twilight walked around the curtains that were beside my bed.
"Oh, hello Twilight" I said, laying down again. I saw her creep closer out of my peripherals, and I felt a drop of sweat form on my forehead. Panic now forming slowly.
"Why di-"
"I'MSORRYITHOUGHTSOMETHINGBADWASGOINGTOHAPPENSOIMADEABREAKFORIT!" I quickly blubbered out, now almost completely panicked. I heard her facepalm, which seemed to be an odd thing for a princess. I also heard a comment from the other side of the room telling me to shut up. I felt slightly guilty for being so loud.
After a few seconds of laying there, I heard Twilight speak again. "Nothing bad will happen to you, just follow me" she said, I sat up to see her turned around and walking away. I stood up from the bed and started following her. We walked through the doors then she turned around. "Forgetting something?" She asked, I looked down to see that I was in a hospital gown.
"My clothes!" I said as I ran back to my bed. I saw them on the little table there, folded nice and tidy, but my coat was just hung there on the wall. "Rude" I said as I dressed, I would NEVER hang my coat up, I fold my coat with care. After I dressed, I returned to Twilight, who was patiently waiting in the hall.
"Alright, let's go" she said. Where she was leading me, I did not know. But I knew one thing: it was definetly not fun.