Chapter Seven, Ponyville.
After thanking Rarity for the clothes, I stepped outside in my new pair of blue basketball boots, fixed black jeans, and fixed T-Shirt with the galaxy across it, also wearing my fez and listening to “Join the Heard” by ForestRain with one bud of my earphones in. I had the suit, bow tie, spare pair of Jeans and my new wide brimmed hat and a brand new T-Shirt similar to the one I already had in a bag in my left hand. I hadn’t been happier then I was then in a bloody ages. I felt good, so good I could scream.
This was the first time I could really take in the details of Ponyville properly. It was an amazing mish-mash of every single possible colour and theme all in one, amazing houses and structures, awe inspiring surroundings and a nice community. Of course, I got some funny looks because nopony had ever seen a human before, I noticed one pony was staring at me more than the others, and I looked back at her. Her gaze didn’t falter, people all around the street stopped to look at me looking at her, wondering if something was going to happen.
“What?” I said “I know I’m beautiful, but there’s no need to stare!” All most every one of them laughed at this and the majority of them continued on their way, knowing I couldn’t be dangerous because I was so friendly. Some still stared at me, mostly the younger ones, but you couldn’t blame them and I didn’t mind. I noticed halfway down one of the main avenues a certain minty green unicorn with the image of a harp on her rump. Lyra. Were all those fan-fics about her being obsessed with hands true? I decided to give her a wave on purpose and she practically had an orgasm. I snickered to myself as I continued.
“I guess she really does like hands” I said to myself. As I continued on my way, and then I spotted another amazing minor character. Dr Whooves.
“Oh, hello!” he said. “You must be DMT, the Human, am I correct?”
“Yes” I replied “And you must be Dr Whooves” He smiled then looked up at my head.
“Oh my god, is that a fez!?!? Where did you get it?”
“Rarity’s place.” I explained. He was ecstatic.
“What else did you get, can I have a look?”
“Knock yourself out buddy” I handed him the bag.
“Oh… My… Gawd…” His eyes were glistening now. “A bow tie… And a suit... As well as a fez… DO YOU KNOW HOW COOL THIS IS!?!?”
It really did look like Christmas had come true for him.
“I know, right?”
“Where is this shop? I MUST KNOW!” I grinned and explained the directions to Rarity’s place and he practically squealed as he ran off.
“MY LIFE IS NOW COMPLETE!!! YEEEEEE-HAAAAAA! I’M COMING BOW TIE!!!” He skidded round a corner running full pelt. A wide smile engulfed his face. I turned around a corner and I saw him walk past me again, this time wearing a marvellous suit jacket, bow tie, and a fez. I was confused by this for a second and remembered, this was Dr. Who in pony form. He was just like his the proper Dr. Who on TV.
“It suits you” I shouted to him and he came over once more.
“I know, right?”
“So that’s the Tardis at work huh? I just sent you off to Rarity’s shop a couple of seconds ago”
“WHAT? BUT… WHAT?” I smiled at him.
“Hey don’t worry man, your secrets safe with me”
“But… but… how?”
“It would take a millennia to explain, not that it would matter to you of course, but I would die” He was hyperventilating now, I didn’t think I would provoke this kind of reaction. “Doctor, it’s ok, really, I only know because there’s a whole TV show based on your human form back where I come from, nopony else knows, its fine, honestly” He sat down on a bench.
“Are you POSOTIVE nopony knows?”
“Yes, don’t worry” We just looked at each other after that, and when he regained his cool, he said.
“Well, since you already know, do you want to see it?” I smiled so hard my face nearly turned inside out, how could my day get any better now?
“I can’t think of anything more thrilling” I replied. He grinned
“Just wait until you get inside”
***
I didn’t go back to Twilights straight away after that, I took some time to look around the area some more. I wished somehow my bike came through with me, I could do and see so much more and have laughs pulling stunts. Oh well, that’s just the way the cookie gets dropped on the floor, utterly obliterated and shat on. I thought, and then continued on my way.
When I got back to Twilights house, there were only around two and a half hours left of sunlight. I sighed and pushed open the door to be jumped on by a purple blur which knocked my fez off.
“WHERE WERE YOU!?!?” A slightly mad and crazy Twilight Sparkle stared down at me with one eye twitching. “DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG YOU’VE BEEN!?!? I’VE BEEN PRACTICALLY RIPPING MY HAIR OUT I WAS SO WORRIED! CELESTIA ONLY JUST PUT YOU IN MY CARE, IF YOU HAD BEEN HURT, OR IF YOU GOT LOST, OR… OR…”
“Jesus Twi, chill! I’m not dead! I’m anything BUT dead, I’m genuinely chuffed today, look!” I eased her off me and showed her my new clothes. “I even found my I-Pod” I showed her it, then realised she had no idea what it was, or what it was for, and put it away.
“Oh goodness DMT, I was so scared, what would Princess Celestia have said if something DID happen, perish the thought!” I raised an eyebrow.
“Nice to know that you’re more concerned about Celestia’s of you than my wellbeing” For the umpteenth time, a blushing pony.
“No, it’s not like that…” I smiled and rubbed her back. She seemed to relax more after this. It seemed physical gestures meant more than words to ponies here.
“Ah, it’s ok, I was only kidding, don’t worry. Have you ponies heard of sarcasm?” She looked at me like I had a wellington boot on my head.
“Of course we have, why wouldn’t we have?”
“Ah, ok. Just checking is all, we have very different worlds.” I bent down and picked up my fez and brushed it off.
“I’m sorry for over reacting a bit DMT” The eyebrow went up again.
“A bit?”
“OK, a lot” Twilight admitted.
“And I’m sorry for being late Twilight”
“It’s alright, just… Try not to do it again ok?”
“Sure…” Awkward silence. “We should probably go inside now Twilight”
“Oh right, of course… what’s with the fez?”
“Fezzes are amazing, don’t dis” We walked inside and I shut the door. Twilight then got to moving some books around and I sat on the couch.
“Is there actually any reason for you to be wearing that” she said in an amused tone.
“Fezzes-Are-Amazing. End of discussion!” Spike then came out of the kitchen and looked at me.
“AW COOL! Where did you get the fez!?” I gave Twilight a grin as he jumped up on the sofa to touch it. “I got it from Rarity, I asked her to make me one”
“Awesome… I gotta get Rarity to give me one of these” he said as he took it and put it on his own head. It was far too big for him.
“Are you sure that’s all you want her to give you?” Twilight giggled.
“Hey, shut up!” He protested “How did you know I like her!?”
“Oh so you DO like her” Twilight laughed harder.
“Wha… Bu… Shut up” He tossed the fez back to me and stuck his tongue out at Twilight, which just finished her off. She was now on the floor convulsing with laughter. A minute later she managed to get a hold of herself.
“Are you quite finished?” I asked.
“Yeah… How did you know about him liking Rarity?” I couldn’t tell her the truth of course.
“Well…” I started “It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?”
“I suppose, well I’m off to bed now. It’s been a long day”
I yawned. “Yeah, I might have to hit the sack as well” She closed the blinds with her magic and then headed upstairs. I fell asleep pretty easy that night, I had had all my limbs put under strain for a large amount of the day, and I had spent the rest of it walking. I didn’t dream, I just slept and tried to get all the energy I could back. I’d be working tomorrow, no one had actually made any requests for a handyman, but Applejack said there would always be apples that needed bucking, and I said I would help her. I also intended to go for runs on a morning from now on, the ponies never seemed to get chubby around here, but I would if everyone kept thrusting buns, cupcakes, cookies and pies at me. Besides, it would do me the world of good... Apparently.