Chapter Four: Settling In.
A lot could go wrong because Blazer did not plan on staying put, however nothing did.\. As soon as the coast was clear, she went to prod the magical barrier. Her reward was a giant magical hoof pushing her back angrily. So, Twilight expected that.
Smart pony, but Blazer was confident she was smarter. Mainly because she knew more about ponies than ponies knew about her.
“Ok Blazer… Just dig for gems, this crystal floor can’t be any harder than stone.” She speculated.
Her claws hit the floor and didn’t even scratch it. She frowned and stomped on it with all her might, hoping for something. She got nothing. That crystal floor was surprisingly hard, and hard to break, let alone scratch.
“Crap!” She snapped. “This damn floor, this tree, this strange substance! I doubt it is even edible!” To prove her own point she tried snacking on the doorknob. It didn’t bend in her mighty jaws.
Perhaps it was meltable. She summoned a fireball the size of Twilight, poured her angry remains into it and aimed it at the floor. It heated up, but cooled after three seconds.
“What is this floor made out of?” She cried.
The door opened, Twilight walked in with Spike, her bed in tow.
“The rarest of crystals forged in the powers of friendship.” Twilight answered, hearing her frustrated question. “Aka, you aren’t breaking through it. My tree has no weapons or guards because it is a fortress in itself. Somehow a living plant made of the hardest of crystals, and immune to most things. Including you.”
“Set my bed in the far corner.” Was her reply.
“Say please.”
“You ponies are obsessed about being polite.” She snapped. “...Please.”
“Why of course, Blazer!” Twilight hovered the lone mattress into the sub-basement and set it where she requested it to be set. “Now, this mattress is fire-proof, but not claw-prof. It also is incredibly soft because it doesn’t have supports and lays on the ground.”
She eyed the bed. “Soft? Why not just throw some hay down here for me to sleep on? That is all a real dragon needs. That, or its hoard.”
“Just try it, real dragoness.” Twilight gave an eye roll.
She snorted smoke at the princess, but laid down on the mattress doubting it could be any softer than a freshly picked giant rabbit moss plant. Yet as she relaxed in it she let out a slight moan. Sweet fire mother, this thing was soft!
“What is this made out of?” She said in her usual demanding tones.
“What every mattress is made out of.” Spike answered happily. “I am so glad to see you like it!”
She got up and glanced around her sparkling cage. “Bathroom. Where is the bathroom?” She demanded.
Twilight ignited her horn and shot a random area on the wall to the right. It slid down, revealing a just as blue and crystal bathroom, complete with a toilet, sink, and bathtub, but to the dragoness, all objects were foreign and unknown. “I think I did a decent job on making that emergency room.”
“Awesome, so which one is the one I go in? Is it the large bowl?”
Twilight resisted the urge to facehoof as she remembered, this dragoness had lived in the wilds, and wouldn’t know what to do with pony objects. “Spike, you should go while I get her acquainted with how to use pony things.”
“But Twilight-”
“Go, now.” She growled.
Spike sighed and went to leave. “Fine, but I want a reason later!”
As he stepped out Blazer cocked her head in confusion. “Why does he have to leave? Not that I am complaining.”
Twilight made a face. “I don’t know about you, but to me and all other ponies, pooping is a very private thing, and ponies don’t like to have company when using the bathroom.”
“Really? We just go in a hole when we feel like it. Who cares if somedragon spots ya?”
“We do, Blazer, and you live amongst ponies now.”
She growled in protest. “I do not live amongst you, I am trapped here! I care not for your stupid society, but you are forcing it upon me anyway.”
“Yes, and basic privacy is such a burden.” The sarcasm was plain in her voice.
This caused her to hesitate. Like all dragons, oops, like all normal dragons, she loved privacy. Maybe privacy while she did her things was an ok social adjustment. Still, she couldn’t seem like she was caving in. “I suppose I can comply.” She rumbled.
“Amazing. One last thing, I am going to spare you a lot of drama and say this bluntly. You stink worse than Winona, my friends dog, after shell rolls around in pig mud. So I got you a dragon size bathtub.”
“Ok, one, how did you get this all ready so quickly, and two, dragons stink. The end. Why would I even get drama over my hygiene?”
“Because if my friend Rarity saw you, smelled you, she would throw a fit the size of your mother and throw you into the tub yourself.” Twilight informed her.
“I doubt it, maybe an alicorn like you could throw me with strength or magic, but not a pesky normal pony.” Blazer sniffed. “‘Sides, my mama is huge. Not even a meat-deprived hatchling could throw a tantrum that big.”
“Blazer, I warn you. Rarity is a fashinista, and in the name of fashion she would do anything short of illegal.”
“You friend has a problem.”
“We’re working on it, but she is a very generous pony.” Twilight assured her. “She would probably give you lessons in pony society too, amongst other things.”
An idea crossed her mind, one that she would currently put in the back of her mind but view later. Free lessons in pony behavior, society, and pretty much anything? Once again, something she could quite possibly use to her advantage.
“So, you want me to take a bath…” She rounded the conversation back to the starting point. “Why not just run me under a waterfall? Easier.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Blazer, do you like looking pretty?”
“Of course, pretty females get the male dragons with the big hoards! And it is kind of fun to be pretty...”
She leisurely soaked in the bathtub while Twilight Sparkle, princess of flipping friendship herself, scrubbed her front claws and happily chattered away. Blazer knew that Twilight was trying to show her how to correctly bath, but she was also doing nearly all the work for Blazer when it came to the finer things, such as claw cleaning, or polishing. Apparently hoof-polish worked on claws too.
Before that, she had grabbed Spike’s special scale cleaner and Blazer had to admit she loved how her scales were shining currently. At the moment her spines, or head and tail spikes as referred to by the silly little ponies, were relaxed and laying flat against her head and tail. A fine lather covered them too, and it would be rinsed off later.
“So Blazer… Do you hate Spike? Because if you are teaching my little brother, you need to find a way around that.”
“I don’t hate them,” The dragoness snorted. “He just reminds me of a hatchling, he knows nothing.”
Twilight perked her ears. “What’s the difference between a hatchling and baby?”
“Hatchling are completely defenseless. For the first ten years of our lives our claws are soft, our scales not yet hardened, and seven out of ten of us can’t breath fire until age ten too.” As she spoke she winced inwardly. The dragon-raised part of her completely rebelled at the thought of telling a pony even that scrap of info.
“Interesting.” Twilight breathed. “So a mother dragon would be more inclined to say, eat a pony if she or he got within even ten yard of the nest?”
“Try one hundred yards, and she wouldn’t just eat the pony. First she would rip off the head and toss it into somewhere of plain view, then she would disembowel it and bring the rest back to her family for food.”
“That… sounds sickening.” Twilight paused on the last nail, fighting back the urge to vomit.
“Well, now you ponies know a dragon is nearby when you see random heads and guts.”
“We will most definitely keep that in mind. A nice way to save a pony from a horrifying death.” Twilight promised and finished cleaning the last nail, which shined like the rest of Blazer. Eagerly changing the subject to spare her stomach, twilight turned on the faucet. “Get those suds off. Your bath is complete. If you don’t want to go fancy, then just slap on some soap and rinse. However, I think my friends should see you at your best.”
“A dragoness is always at her best.” Blazer sniffed as she got the suds off.
Spike had no idea why Twilight and Blazer were taking so long, and with all the waiting he was inclined to pace. One two three four five, turn, one two three four five turn, one two three four five, turn, one-
“Twilight!” He cried out.
“Spike.” She returned the greeting cheerfully.
“What were you doing? Did she really need that much help with figuring out pony objects?” He asked.
“No… I also gave her a bath and informed her she will be meeting my friends. I didn’t say when, but I want to have her meet them tomorrow so we can get started on teaching you.” Twilight informed him.
“Will she be teaching me today?”
“No.”
“Tomorrow?” His voice grew hopeful.
“Nu uh, friends tomorrow. I just told you that! Besides, she seems to suffer from unpredictable mood swings, I want to see if I can ease her into pony lifestyle quickly, yet as stress-free as possible. Luckily she was being as nice as she could be when I showed her the bath tub.”
He nodded. “So, will she teach me the day after your friends see her?” He could care less about her mood swings, his heart had gone back to beating for her.
“We will see, Spike, We will see.” Twilight promise.