Fluttershy and Discord stood in front of Twilight’s Castle. The Draconequus was getting cold feet, his appendages weren’t covered in ice, but the whole idea of asking Twilight Sparkle, of all ponies, for help wasn’t something he liked doing. It was different with the whole ‘blue flu’ because he didn’t really need help and was actually doing it to help her learn about friendship from an angle she hadn’t considered for the element bearers quest. I only was helpful at the time because I was tired of hearing Celestia complain to her sister about how slow her student was on the uptake. The whole ‘ponies must figure out their talents for themselves’ thing is so stupid. Also, I had Fluttershy insisting at the time I make more friends and Twilight Sparkle seemed the most logical choice. This time though I just know she’ll be very snotty thinking it means she’s special or some such nonsense.
“Discord?” Fluttershy called poking him with her hoof.
“Hmm?”
“Are you nervous? You shouldn’t be. I’m sure she will help.”
“Of course she will. Once its presented in the right way she will. Twilight’s probably the most oblivious and yet smartest pony I’ve ever met however she’s not selfish enough to turn away anyone in need of help.” Discord grumbled.
“That doesn’t make any sense.” Fluttershy’s teal eyes reflected the confusion racing about in her mind so Discord decided to elaborate.
“I still can’t believe she didn’t understand her special gift needed friendship to reach its potential when she’s the element of magic. You ponies are always going on about how friendship is magic. Hello? How much clearer does it have to get?”
“Oh! That’s why she can be both the element of magic and Princess of Friendship!” Fluttershy exclaimed.
The Draconequus sighed. Its so hard being a superior, god-like being amongst these mortals but I suppose I must get used to these situations if I'm to have friends. “So you didn’t get it either? Maybe wanton obliviousness is a pony trait?”
“Its saying things like that which make it hard for you to make friends.” Fluttershy was glaring at him so he knew now it was best to change the subject.
“I wouldn’t worry Fluttershy,” Discord stated “Twilight Sparkle and I have come to an understanding. Perhaps she doesn’t want to be bosom buddies with me but I think she’s at least accepted me as an acquaintance.”
“Discord, I think that you should let me do the talking,” said Fluttershy. “You have a way of… well…”
“Annoying Twilight Sparkle with just my mere presence?” the Draconequus interrupted. “Even more so when I regale her with my eons of unparalleled wit and charm?”
“Something like that,” his pony friend answered eyeing him a bit skeptically. I shouldn’t worry because I’m sure he now knows what being a friend is. I know for sure Twilight is at least grateful to him for giving her the necklace that became her key. Fluttershy realized she was considering these things too long when Discord suddenly picked her up and, after a disconcerting flash of light, she and the Draconequus were in what obviously was the makings of a new library inside the castle.
“Discord we should have knocked at the door. It’s the polite thing to do.” Fluttershy sighed more nervous than before about teaching the Lord of Chaos manners.
“If I’d wanted to be rude I would’ve popped right into where I sense she is right now.”
“Its more polite to wait outside until you’re invited in though.” Fluttershy stated. “You won’t be able to just pop into the castle the night of the Gala if you want to win your bet.”
A shattering sound made them turn to see Spike with a bewildered expression and the remains of a tray containing what must have been Twilight’s breakfast on the ground.
“Spike, my good dragon, could you perhaps point us in the direction of Twilight Sparkle? Hmm?” Discord requested.
“Uh… sure,” the dragon said absently before looking at the mess at his feet and sighing tremendously. “Now I have to remake Twilight’s breakfast.”
Fluttershy gave Discord a significant look, a look that he knew quite well because he saw it at least once every time he was in her company, so he snapped his claws instantly restoring the breakfast.
“Now what do we say Discord?” Fluttershy demanded.
“I’m sorry.” He grumbled under his breath.
“I don’t think Spike could hear you,” the pony prodded.
“Oh for chaos’ sake…” he intoned peevishly before setting Fluttershy down and bowing to the small purple drake. “I’m sorry that I startled you with my magnificent powers by appearing in your abode without notice making you drop your so carefully prepared repast.”
“Um, apology accepted,” Spike, said uneasily. “I guess I’ll tell Twilight that you’re here. Wait here.”
If there was one word in all of the cosmos that the Draconequus hated it was wait. This was followed closely by patience. What need was there for patience when he could instantaneously have whatever he wanted with a snap of his claws? An entire minute had gone by when Discord yawned.
Fluttershy watched as Discord went through his usual twists and shapes in the air. It used to astonish her how quickly he got bored and that was usually when he would materialize something, make a joke or pester somepony. She was about to distract him when he spied a pile of books on the floor and levitated one over to his paw noting its title with a grin.
“Oh this has got to be good.” Discord chuckled stroking his beard and balancing on his tail while he opened it thumbing through the pages.
Happy that her best friend had found a nondestructive way to entertain him Fluttershy decided to follow suit and looked at the titles in a stack near where she stood. It wasn’t long after that when Equestria’s newest alicorn princess trotted into the room.
“Hello there. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to greet you but I’ve been unpacking all of the replacement books Celestia sent me and there’s nopony here but Spike and I.” Twilight stopped in her tracks when she heard the ruckus laughter coming from the other side of the room.
Discord was gripping his stomach laughing uproariously while magically spinning one of Twilight’s precious books end over end in the air. Horrified she sprung into action snatching the book while glaring at the Draconequus. Looking at the title while she placed it back into a sorting stack she frowned. “What is so funny about mythology?”
“I suppose it’s the sort of thing you had to be there to understand.” Discord wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. “Now for the matter at hand.”
“Yes Twilight,” Fluttershy said speaking up for the first time since the alicorn had entered the room. “We need your help. That is, if you aren’t too busy we would appreciate it ever so much.”
“Long story short, I need to know how to get along at a Gala thrown by your illustrious teacher and you, dear Twilight, are just the pony to transform my already handsome self into the sensation of the event.” He approached her snapping his claws creating a school desk for himself, a blackboard that appeared behind Twilight, Spike found himself in the corner of the room on a stool with a dunce cap donning his head and Fluttershy found herself in a desk next to the Draconequus.
“So let me get this straight,” Twilight began with a quizzical expression. “You want me to teach you how to behave at a royal gala?”
“Why in Equestria would you want to go to a gala?” concurred Spike climbing down off of the stool and trying to remove the hat that seemed glued to his head.
Fluttershy helpfully raised her hoof and spoke up. “Discord made a bet with Princess Luna that he could behave perfectly and make no chaos for the whole event. I didn’t really know how to help so I thought we should come see you. You were Princess Celestia’s star pupil and are a Princess yourself now after all.”
“Oh I see,” Twilight, said thinking a moment. “The only thing is that I was hoping to get all of these books filed away today.”
“Ouch!” Spike shouted finally removing the hat with a strong tug and falling over into one of the sorting stacks.
“As you can see I have a lot to sort still and now resort.” Twilight shook her head in dismay.
The Draconequus impatiently snapped his claws and every book on the floor flew up to a place up on the shelf including the stack underneath Spike leaving the baby dragon to fall to the floor. “They are all filed by author title and genre Twilight Sparkle, so teach away since now you have nothing better to do.”
Twilight wasn’t sure if she wanted to hyperventilate about having had just lost absolute control over the library shelving system or that Discord had actually done something completely helpful with his magic without prompting.
Fluttershy was about to try to and smooth things over but she was surprised when it was Spike that spoke up first.
“Wow Twilight he saved us a lot of work!” he exclaimed happily. “Maybe you really are one of the good guys now Discord!”
Discord rolled his eyes in response.
“Yes, thanks.” Twilight said while mentally noting where she had stopped so she could check the ordering of the books over for mistakes later. “I suppose this means I owe you something at least so I’d be happy to elaborate on proper manners and etiquette for you.”
“Oh thank you Twilight!” Fluttershy happily cried. “I’m really not the best when it comes to things like this and I was afraid you wouldn’t want to help Discord.”
“Why of course she wants help me out. That’s what friends do. Isn’t that right Twilight Sparkle?”
Twilight glanced over at said chaotic spirit who was leaning his elbows on his desk grinning at her. Okay Twilight you can do this. He’s really not so bad when he’s not trying to take over Equestria and maybe helping him now will help him fit in more. That will be for everypony’s benefit. She turned to the blackboard with new resolve and began drawing a diagram. “The most important thing to remember is how to greet all of the Kingdom’s elite guests properly because if you impress them then they’ll definitely commend Celestia for your reform.”
“She is not responsible for my reform.” Discord was careful to put up both talon and paw drawing imaginary quotation marks in the air as he said reform.
Twilight tried not to show her irritation at the Draconequus’s flip remark. It was his lack of respect for her mentor that probably was the biggest impediment for her to really like him. “Princess Celestia was the one that assigned Fluttershy to work with you. It seemed illogical to most of us at the time with you being so, well, you and her being so shy. Celestia must have known that you two would get along so well it would work though so if you think about it you would probably still be a statue right now if it wasn’t for the Princess.”
“I’ve often wondered about why Sunbutt insisted it be Fluttershy.” Discord said with a mysterious smirk.
“You mean Celestia somehow knew we’d become best friends?” Fluttershy frowned thinking.
“I wouldn’t put it above her to cheat using an artifact or spell to divine things she feels are in her oh so beloved subjects best interests. She is quite capable of manipulating ponies. Of course she calls it guiding and teaching but in reality it isn’t all that much different to what I did with you all on the key hunt. Its helpful manipulation but manipulation none-the-less.”
This caused Equestria’s youngest alicorn to look at him thoughtfully. “Yeah, Discord. How much did you know about that box and the Rainbow Power? I got to thinking about that and I wondered how in Equestria you knew to mark those pages in the journal?” Twilight’s expression turned incredibly expectant without an ounce of the previous underlying malice.
“Oh yes Discord. We would never have found it without you.” Fluttershy smiled almost adoringly at him catching Discord off guard. It was strange how she innocently was able to keep him off-balance but it was one of the things he liked about the yellow Pegasus. After living thousands of years not much surprised him anymore but her genuine affection did do just that.
“Well my dears I am as old as the Tree of Harmony so I’ve picked up a few things over the centuries. Let’s leave it at that shall we? Everypony is entitled to some secrets after all.”
“Don’t mind him Twilight. He likes to be mysterious. It makes him feel important.” Fluttershy teased gently.
“I am important Fluttershy. What is harmony without chaos after all?” He wiggled his eyebrows at Fluttershy causing her to giggle.
The Draconequus indulged himself for a moment enjoying her mirth. He really did like the sound of her quiet laughter for some reason he really couldn’t put his talon on. Turning his head he glanced at Twilight Sparkle whom had a knowing expression on her face.
“What’s the matter Twilight Sparkle? Did I grow a second head?” Discord questioned actually growing said head and exploding it into confetti.
“No it’s just,” she said with a chuckle, “I can’t get over how well you two seem to get along.”
“Yes we’re very good friends,” said Fluttershy. “Best friends.”
“We have known each for quite awhile now and share some interesting memories.” Discord explained.
“I thought all you did was write letters to each other?” Spike wondered.
“We see each other about once a month,” Fluttershy said softly “and do something fun.”
(Click here if you want to hear the music while you read the song)
“What in Equestria do you find fun to do with Discord?” Spike asked.
“Picnics and tea,” Fluttershy said happily.
“Is that all?”
“Watch it kid. Don’t you know that anything involving me could never be boring?” Discord replied tersely.
”Here,” offered Fluttershy, “let me explain.”
Fluttershy (singing):
What we do is have lunch somewhere,
Picnics, tea in the open air.
Once with a hungry bear,
Oh, wasn't it so lovely?
Discord (singing):
Chocolate milk that’s not too sweet,
Cakes explode into confetti,
Marshmallows, cotton candy
Mm, it was quite lovely.
Fluttershy (singing):
Times just sitting in a soft breeze while birds sing sweet …
Discord (singing):
Giant pies drowning Griffins, in
A ton of rich chocolate cream.
Fluttershy (singing):
Someone's head resting on my knee,
Snoring loudly as he can be
Discord (singing):
On a comet going mach 3!
Dear with you it’s loverly.
“Loverly?” asked Twilight.
Discord (singing):
Loverly
“It sounds almost like you two are talking about two entirely different things,” remarked Twilight.
Fluttershy (singing):
Friendship means lots of compromise
Though sometimes I might fear demise.
Discord (singing):
Your open mind does surprise
Dear it’s quite lovely.
Fluttershy (singing):
Well most times your intent is sweet
Showing something I might find neat
It’s just the ponies we meet
Not all think your lovely
“They just can’t take a joke.” Quipped Discord.
Discord (singing):
It’s so lovely bending the dimensions to my will
But when it makes you smile its just so much the better still.
Fluttershy (singing):
Someone’s friendship to call my own
Whether home or when we roam.
Discord (singing):
Darling it’s simpatico.
Fluttershy and Discord (singing):
Dear with you its lovely.
“That’s a song that launched a thousand ships, right there…” Spike said to the air seemingly to no one in particuliar. Those present in the room all turned toward him confused and he just shrugged.
“Well there was that time we were on a ship with pirates.” Fluttershy said helpfully.
“Pirates!” Twilight exclaimed.
“It all worked out in the end so don’t look at me like that Twilight Sparkle. Besides, as wonderful as a walk down memory lane is there is a bet to be won.” Discord sat back in his desk his expression turned serious.
“I guess I got a little sidetracked,” Twilight said smiling to herself. “Alright let’s start with the proper way to act in the receiving line.”
*** 3 Hours Later ***
“So that’s all you need to know about proper introductions by title, kingdom, age and office.” Twilight Sparkle turned around triumphantly awaiting generous applause for her excellent teaching skills only to see her entire audience, Discord, Fluttershy and even Spike, sound asleep.
Before she could react a knock came on the front door. “Luckily the library is close to the front door...” she groused loudly hoping to disturb them and stomped off to answer it. “What do you want?” she inquired in an irritated growl.
“Are you okay sugar cube?” Apple Jack wondered.
“Oh AJ!” she said with a mortified stain on her cheeks. “Sorry, its not you. It’s Discord.”
“He’s here?”
“Yes he came asking for help and then had the nerve to fall asleep when I was answering his question. Even Spike and Fluttershy fell asleep. Can you believe it?”
The orange pony grinned uncomfortably. “Well Twi, no offence but ya can get a mite long-winded at times.”
“Ah the ever refreshing statements of Ms. Honesty!” A low voice declared before Discord popped in behind the mare.
“Sometimes you can be a little too honest Apple Jack,” Twilight chastised her friend with a self-conscious smile.
“So are you saying its okay to lie Twilight?” Discord asked with a smirk.
“NO!” both ponies shouted at him.
“Sheesh! You two are no fun.”
“Oh! Apple Jack!” greeted Spike peeking out in front of Twilight’s feet.
“Hello!” Fluttershy added peeking around the door.
Discord sniffed the air and reached over to open the country pony’s saddlebag.
“Hands off Discord! That is a housewarmin' gift from the Apple Family for Twilight!” Shouted the earth pony smacking Discord’s paw away.
“Stingy.” Discord accused petulantly giving his paw a shake.
“No actually she’s right. This is a good lesson for you Discord.” Twilight stated.
“Lesson?” The blonde haired mare queried.
“Yes! We’re teaching Discord manners so he can fit in at the New Era Gala.” Spike answered.
“Would you like to help?” Fluttershy added.
“Ah have to admit. It sounds like an interestin' challenge. Ya’ll told Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Rarity yet? Ya know we’ll need every bit of help we can get to whip Discord into shape.”
“I concur! Let’s gather the rest of the element bearers! We start tomorrow!”
“Oh goody…” grumbled the Lord of Chaos as he looked into the grinning faces of the three ponies and dragon. I just hope this will be worth it in the end.