Blueblood threw on his jacket and poked his head out of his bedroom. The hallway was clear and he stepped out.
Get moving. If we can find that maid before she finds anypony else, you might be able to talk her into staying quiet.
Blueblood didn’t know which way she might have gone. He took a guess and turned in the direction of the kitchen and other facilities, breaking into a jog. “So...what am I supposed to do when we catch up?”
I don’t know, work your charm or something. You’ve gotten laid before. Surely you can sweetalk her.
“You know as much about that as I do, honey.”
Well, I don’t know. Do you want to practice or something?
Blueblood instead focused on catching up to the maid. She was faster than he would have thought. Maybe it was her earth pony physiology or maybe she just had been that quick to vacate his bedroom.
Heh, wouldn’t be the first mare to run from there.
“Shut it,” he grumbled.
Blueblood rounded a corner, and to his surprise found the maid standing in the middle of the hallway with her back to him. He slowed down, stopping a short distance behind her. She didn’t move.
“Uh…hey.”
That’s all you’ve got?
Blueblood said, “Sorry, I don’t know your name.”
“It’s all right,” the maid said, still with her back to him.
“I wanted to talk to you,” Blueblood went on. “I think we might have a misunderstanding here.”
“Oh?”
Damn, she’s coy.
True enough. Most mares would at least look at him while he was speaking to them. Blueblood tried a different tactic. “I saw that you couldn’t help checking me out. And I got to say, girl, I’m having a hard time keeping my eyes off you.”
She still didn’t turn around.
Wow, you can’t even piss her off by trying. I’m starting to think there’s something wrong with her.
The thought had occurred to Blueblood too. He had never met any mare who had endured such comments from him and still had no problem showing him her backside. He took a step forward, coming up on her side. “Hey, are you all right?”
“Just fine,” she said. Her head turned, fixing Blueblood with a stare featuring a bright flash of green from her eyes. “Just…fine!”
The next instant she was on top of him, her maid uniform tearing away to reveal a pair of changeling wings as a crooked black horn forced itself from her forehead. Green goo and a few drops of blood showered down on Blueblood as he and the maid wrestled across the floor.
Pig though he was, Blueblood was still hesitant to hit a female. He managed to push her away and got up.
The maid shook her head, adjusting to the new sensations. Blueblood put out a hoof. “Take it easy, you’re going through some big changes right now.”
“You’re telling me,” the maid muttered. Her eyes were still wide and had gotten a gleam of crazy in them. Blueblood had seen enough crazy mares to know that look.
“Maybe I can help you,” Blueblood said. “How do you feel? Do you hear a voice in your head?”
“Yeah. And right now he’s telling me I should take care of you.”
“Uh, take care, like breakfast in bed?” Blueblood tried a weak joke.
“If you want. I’ve been serving you for a long time, but how does forever sound?” She grinned, putting on an even crazier look than before.
Wow, overly attached marefriends are something you’ve never had to deal with before. Good luck.
“Um, didn’t you say the voice in your head is a dude?” Blueblood said.
“That’s right. But he’s gay. And horny.”
And if he can shapeshift, it might not be a problem that he’s stuck in a mare’s body…
Blueblood cracked the maid across the face with a hoof and followed it up with a blast of magic that launched her across the hallway and into the wall. She slid down to the floor, out cold.
“Waste of a pretty face,” Blueblood muttered.
I don’t know if we can exactly classify her as evil, but she was certainly deranged. In a more worried tone, Trudy added, And she isn’t the only one.
Blueblood understood. Ponies – and at least one minotaur – were changing, and it seemed like they were all going through the same thing.
Blueblood was distracted by the maid suddenly moving. She got unsteadily to her feet, head lolling like a puppet on shaky strings. And then, in a masculine voice she – or perhaps he – said, “Well, that’s one down.” Her eyes flashed green again accompanied by a crazy grin. “But there’s still me.”
Blueblood whirled and planted a solid buck in the maid’s face. S/he slammed into the wall for a second time and didn’t move again.
“That’s so weird,” muttered Blueblood.
And it shows that you and I aren’t the only ones in this position.
Chrysalis had been busy during her rampage through the castle. To distract himself from remembering what that business in the closet with Blueblood had been, he said, “What a skank.”
Hey, that’s sort of my mother you’re talking about!
“What, and you’re defending her?”
Well…no. She’s a skank.
Blueblood nodded. He started walking, putting distance between himself and the comatose maid. Turning back to the conversation, he said, “We have no way of telling how far Chrysalis spread herself around. At least me, this maid, Twilight, her loverboy, that minotar, and probably Shining Armor. I don’t even want to think about potential others.”
Of those six, we know that three are aggressive and at least two are horny.
“More than usual.”
Yeah, okay, you also count as horny, but not more than usual.
“Hey!”
Hey yourself – you’re only figuratively swimming in hormones.
Changing the subject, Blueblood said, “So we know that Chrysalis got at least six of us, and that half also have mental changes. That leaves me, Twilight, and Shining as the only ones that can still think straight.”
So far.
“Huh?”
What if…what if it’s only a matter of time? Could Twilight and Shining already be well on their way onboard the train to horny, horny madness-ville?
“I wish you had said that in a more serious way, but I see your point.” Blueblood frowned. “Wait, what about me – us?”
Trudy was silent for a long moment. I don’t know. I don’t think we’re crazy.
“Would we know?”
I don’t think you’re crazy. Do you think I’m crazy?
Blueblood considered it. “No.”
Well then, until we can prove otherwise, we might have to believe that we’re alone on this.
Blueblood flinched and stopped walking. He was near the castle library, which reminded him of Twilight. The thought of having to fight such a magical prodigy, or the solider Shining, did not appeal to him one bit.
This situation would be funny if it wasn’t so terrible.
“What do you mean?”
Equestria’s worst prince and the insectoid-hybrid amalgamation that lives inside him might be the only ones that can fix this mess.
It sounded like a movie pitch, although Blueblood preferred his take on it. “He’s royalty. She’s a bug. They fight crime.”
More like ‘He’s a drunken lecher, struggling to save his own skin. She’s inside his skin. They get their asses kicked.’
“In a world where a misunderstood playcolt with a few tricks up his sleeve meets a voice in his head with benefits…”
…because a love-sucking shapeshifter impregnated him…
“…and many others…”
…two misfits forced together against their will must work together…
“…to save their friends, their family…”
…and his butt…
“…hers, too…”
…from an unspeakable enemy who comes from within…
“…together, they are…”
…Trueblood!
Blueblood shook his head. “That was so cheesy. Why did we do that?”
Hey, you started it. Trudy paused. Are you still pumped, though?
“Yeah, I guess. It was pretty motivating.” Blueblood managed a confident smile. “I feel like I could take on the world.”
Just then, there was a crash as the castle wall opposite from them was smashed down. Books and other library things scattered everywhere. But the thing that drew Blueblood’s attention was a large crystal globe coming straight at his face.