I woke up the next evening like any other, hanging upside down from a metal bar in my room meant for that exact purpose. My roommate, a werewolf, still playing a card game of some sort in the back room with two other bronies and three other ponies, if their conversation is anything to go by. The voices of the ponies sound like they belong to Noteworthy, Vinyl Scratch, and Octavia if memory serves. Their dull conversation and smoke lightly wafting through the air and up the stairs. I righted myself and landed with a muted thump on the carpeted floor of my small bedroom. Thankfully it was big enough to stretch out my wings, if only just.
I throw on my “religious” garb, admiring it in the mirror. At first I was adverse to such clothing, especially as I couldn’t take off whatever I was wearing without it simply reappearing on me. But when Rarity was paid by some lunar bronies to make it I couldn’t deny that it looked pretty awesome. For the priests, and later the “monks” we got long trench coats made out of what I thought was leather, but in truth was a fabric made from an exotic plant native to the Willder. Another wild forest located some distance south east of here. The coats came in two appearances, one Lunar, the other Solar. Lunar trenches were a midnight blue with purple trim, while the Solar was white with gold trim. Each had a large cutie mark of their respective princess emblazoned onto the center of the back. My moment of self admiration was disturbed by the dual sounds of my growling stomach and a particularly loud clink of glass from the game downstairs. Time to get a bite.
Downstairs, rooting through my fridge for breakfast, even after all this time, was still a novel experience. The dietary requirements of bronies being more varied and out there than Rainbow’s mane. No matter how often I asked him to demand that guests bring their own food my roommate insists on being prepared. It’s nice and all but I still feel queasy when I reach past a brain to get to the milk. Where we get the more exotic foodstuffs without Pink is still a mystery.
Oh, that’s new. Bagged blood. Guess he’s gotten over that silly rivalry with Steven. He must be here too, it’s been drained slightly. Good ‘cause I’ve got a bone to pick with him.
“Hey, Steve I-” I say, entering the room containing the game. I don’t finish however as Steve isn’t here. One of the other bronies was a Custom Job, a term we’ve begun to use for bronies like myself and Syntax whose looks are completely unique and maybe only borrow bits and bobs from popular cuture, but not quite the wholesale grab of those like Arrow. The other, sitting in a high chair, was Rocket Racoon. I was right about who the three ponies were though.
“Sorry, Carl. You seen Steve around?”
“No. Thank Celestia.”
“Oh. Are you aware there’s blood in the fridge?”
His eyes briefly flick to Vinyl. “Other people drink blood, Soulless, not just Steven.” he says, with just a hint of malice at my name. Carl’s one of those sticklers for birth names, and was never happy that I referred to myself as anything but. Personally I side with ponies on that. Names should have more meaning than whatever pre set bunch of sounds your parents chose out of a baby name book. But now is not the time to get into that... again. Steven’s been a bit of a nuisance lately for Little American PR.
“Okay, well, if you see him, send him to me. He and I need to have a talk. Oh, and another thing, the blood’s gonna go bad. Someone opened it.” Vinyl shrank in her seat a touch but I didn’t give it any consideration. “Hey, wait, wasn’t Noteworthy here?” Octavia and Vinyl went a bit wide eyed but again I ignored it. Carl, Tom, and BlazeIt420 (admittedly someone who should probably be called by their birth name) just looked confused.
“Who?”
“Noteworthy. Blue stallion, likes to play the piano? Nevermind, I gotta go. You six, erm, five, have fun.”
-||-||-||-||-||-
Making my way through the streets I couldn’t help but marvel at how clean Little America was. Especially when compared to what we did to the Everfree after a mere four months of residing within. The air itself seemed scrubbed clean of impurities save for the smell of smoke from the occasional barbeque and recently cut grass. The skies were clearing from the day’s rain; pegasi pushing back small white clouds. Leftovers of the larger gray ones that watered the town. The occasional puddle the only other evidence it rained recently, the air surprisingly dry as evaporation wasn’t a natural process here. An apparent remnant from Discord’s centuries long reign.
I almost made it to New Canterlot Castle when Technia pulled a Pinkie Pie and appeared right in front of my face, nearly a quarter of which was made of smile.
“Dude! Soulless! You won’t believe what I made today!”
“A Particle Accelerator?”
“Nope, guess again.”
“A coltfriend?”
“Eew, no. Still technically a lesbian, or “Fillyfooler”, or whatever. No, c’mon. Guess.”
“I don’t know, I give up. What’d you make?”
Like a magician’s assistant she waved over to a previously unseen bit of cloth covering… something. “It’s a Tridoron!” and she pulled the cloth to reveal a steel grey car of some sort. Though it looked like the most cumbersome thing I’ve ever seen.
“The hay is a Try-der-on? And if you say it’s a car, I should inform you that you’ve already made like, thirty of those. And they’re better.”
“Hmmph. You’ve got no taste, Soulless. This isn’t just any car, it’s a car that can transform!”
“Autobot or Decepticon?” I ask wearily.
“Neither!” She shouts, an eyelid twitching. Clearly she’s not happy with my ignorance. “It can turn into two other things, not one. It’s from Kamen Rider Drive!”
“And that is…?”
“It’s a Japanese TV show. Think of it like… like Power Rangers meets Knight Rider. Only it’s the guys belt that does the talking.”
“That sounds really stupid.”
“It’s not!” Technia fumed, visibly turning red.
“Okay, okay. Sheesh. Besides, I thought you weren’t gonna try fictional machines. Something about a coma?”
“Yeah, well, I couldn’t help it. Pinkie let me use her internet and I was just reminded of so many things that I was like, fuck it, if I end up in a coma at least I tried.”
“What if you died?”
“I didn’t, did I?”
“Damn it, Technia, you can’t just risk your life over something stupid. I mean, look at this. Would you really want this..” I wave to the machine “to be the last thing you’ve done on this Earth?”
“A couple of points, Soulless. One, what I risk my life over is none of your fucking business. Two, the hay it does it matter what the last thing I do is? At this point I am like Equestria’s Leonardo Da Vinci, Benjamin Franklin, and Nikola motherfuckin’ Tesla three times over. I’ve likely made as much impact on this world’s history as Princess Twilight Sparkle. Maybe even more, not that I care. And three, fuck you Soulless. I wanted to show you something that I was proud of. An achievement that up until a scant few hours ago I thought was impossible due to the imaginary nature of the components and mechanisms that I usually see in hard, solid detail when I do my usual stuff. And I have to catch this shit from you? You should change your name. Get a title to go with it. Soulless doesn’t do you justice. Later, Captain Buzzkill.”
It’s been a while since I’ve fucked up this bad and I can’t muster the neural power to formulate a response. Even if I could I doubt I could work the jaw to close, let alone speak. I guess she got tired of waiting for a response, that or my perception of time was slowed and she turned and left immediatley. I’m fairly certain I hear her mutter “Fucker.” as she made her way to her car. Which I still thinks looks goofy. But I think I should keep that to myself from now on.
“S-sorry, I-” I say to the sound of receding engine and a dust cloud that marked where she once was. Good thing, too. I feel I’m gonna need more time to formulate a more genuine apology.
-||-||-||-||-||-
Twenty minutes later and I was fuming as I ascended the comically long stairs to the Castle proper, muttering all the while. “Excuse me for being worried about your safety. Ungrateful little….. fuckin’... damnit Soulless, why couldn’t you have just lied to her and said you approved? I mean, fictional machines… that’s gonna open just about every door ever. Aw, Luna damn it. Now she can make Galactica ships and freaking orbital cannons. And I pissed her off. Stupid stupid stupid.”
My wings twitched behind me, subconsciously trying to wrap around me to hide my shame. My new biology is weird. My wings are like, “Hey, I know you’re feeling embarrassed, so how about we blind you so you walk into walls and fall down stairs? That’ll make you feel better.” With a thought I forced them to remain behind me and compressed so I can walk through the entrance of the castle. As I made my way to Luna's quarters I began to hear arguing. It grew louder as I got closer. Eventually I could make out words. It sounded like Twilight Sparkle and Pascal were at each other's throats. Again.
"You're the pretty pony unicorn princess with super magic. If you can lay a beat down on that ugly-ass centaur I think you can manage to help me take off this freaking mask!"
"I've already told you. The magic that cast this curse upon you is far more potent than I am currently capable of. Even with the added magic of all life on this planet I would have a hard time removing your curse. Also, I'm an alicorn now."
"Who the fuck cares about what kind of pansy ass horse you are? And I didn't say shit about the curse, I just want to see another color other than green! I want to breathe unfiltered air! I want to shower! MAKE ME NORMAL YOU PURPLESMART CUNT!"
"Hey, Pascal, Dude. Calm down. That's what she's saying. She can't. Whoever, or whatever, did this to us, she can't undo it. It's why you're stuck wearing that mask. Why we're all stuck the way we are." I said, walking though the portal of Luna's chambers.
"Easy for you to say. You're vision is improved. And you can fly. And shower."
"Yeah, okay, I do have it easier. Sure, direct sunlight burns my retinas and I have to sleep upside down. Sure my new blush has sent me down a few staircases and made me vow never to visit the Crystal Empire ever again, but yeah. You're right, I do have it easier. But does my relative ease at life suddenly invalidate what Twilight is saying?"
"Ha see I-" Pascal stops celebrating for a moment to process my words. "Okay," he deflates. "I just, I want to go home. This was fun for a while but I'm not feeling it anymore."
"If you truly feel that way, young human, you may take time off today's activities."
"I meant Earth you stupid--- nevermind. I'll take you up on that offer. Good Eve, Luna" he said with a short bow to Luna. Turning away he silently, and depressingly, left the room. It felt weird to see Pascal that way. Dude was kind of like Pinkie. If Pinkie was a sociopath. A lot like when Pinkie leaves a room the silence nearly became a physical thing.
"So. That happened. Off to the forest?"
"Off to the Forest."
-||-||-||-||-||-
Location Unknown
April 6th, 2015CE
21:38
If you could see it. You would be impressed. Immensely so. But chances are the builders didn't want you to see it. So even though it was about a mile long you wouldn't see it if you were standing on it. All you'd see is undisturbed forest. But if the creators tired of being amused by you walking through them and their stuff like an ignorant ghost, avoiding invisible trees that have long since been cut down, and deigned to give you the sight they see, you would be presented with something utterly foreign to the planet you're standing on. An expanse of trodden earth and asphalt. Upon it vehicles and buildings of varying types. Strange bipedal creatures walking, running, marching through it all. The sounds that you couldn't hear moments before would overwhelm. Engines and orders and chanting. But, if you were unlucky enough to have been a pony, the next sight would make your heart sink.
The reason that they let you see. The reason that they let the others see. To use the horn on your head to make sure no pony else does. That no pony else will ever find you. The only other ponies who will sympathize with you are the other collared, emaciated unicorns. But they'll do nothing as the gleeful creature in tattered furs in front of you laughs sadistically and snaps the collar around your neck. They'll watch with sympathy or dead eyes while he leads you to your new position.
You knew you should've ignored that human and stayed home.