Blueblood took in the scene with a mixture of emotions, chiefly among them was confusion.
After fighting Bright Defender in a lingerie shop, unmasking her as Twilight Sparkle, learning that Twilight was going through something of the same transformation he was, having the front wall of the shop suddenly blown out by an as yet unknown but very forthcoming newcomer, and being told to prepare his anus by said aggressor, it was understandable that Blueblood wouldn’t know what to do next.
“So, by ‘prepare’ does that mean I should tighten or loosen?” he wondered.
Out of everything that just happened, you’re most concerned about that? Trudy asked.
“Well, I think it’s kind of important!”
How about we focus on not needing to prepare our butt at all, and try fighting, maybe?
It was a good idea. Blueblood didn’t even argue about the “our butt” part.
He turned his eyes to whoever had just ripped down the front wall of the lingerie shop. It was a unicorn, a big guy who wore a trench coat and orange, angular sunglasses.
“Who are you?” Blueblood asked.
“I have sex with princesses,” the stallion replied.
Blueblood glanced at the still-reeling Princess Twilight and turned back. “Okay, great, but who are you?”
“Call me Midnight Flash.” As if to demonstrate, the other guy reared up, brushing back his trench coat to reveal no clothing underneath.
He did wear a utility belt, however. It was filled mostly with sex toys. There was also some rope. Blueblood caught a brief glimpse of wings bundled under his coat as well.
Another alicorn… Trudy noted.
“Well, at least this guy’s somepony my size,” Blueblood muttered to her. “Steel Blast, that psycho minotaur, wasn’t all rapey, though.”
Midnight Flash says he has sex with princesses, Trudy reminded. Coyly, she added, Are you worried?
“I, uh, should probably protect Twilight, then. That’ll give me something to hold over her head.”
You’d better give this guy your best shot, then, Trudy said as Midnight Flash dropped back down to four hooves and began to paw at the floor. This guy looks like he’s getting in the mood.
Blueblood shot him in the face with a bolt of magic. Midnight Flash stumbled a few feet, surprise cutting into his apparent arousal. Blueblood wished he’d close his trenchcoat properly.
Taking the opportunity while Midnight Flash was distracted, Blueblood advanced, ducking behind an overturned display of bridles for cover. He got his head down just as Midnight Flash got his bearings and began firing random spells around the room.
The fusilade was not particularly effective, although a few jets of magic did crack splinters off the furniture Blueblood was covering behind. While no student of magic, Blueblood thought that he might have been pretty safe standing directly in front of Midnight Flash. The guy’s mind was clearly somewhere else.
“Hey moron, I hope you aim better in bed!” Blueblood called.
“Mmmwho you calling moron…?” Twilight moaned, stirring in the pile of intimates where she had fallen. She clearly wasn’t aware of the horny, and also aroused, alicorn randomly throwing magic around the store.
If she stands up, she could get hit, Trudy noted.
“So?”
So you wouldn’t want that to happen if you still want Twilight to owe you a favor. Trudy paused. Hey, did we decide if that actually is Twilight? She could be some sort of evil imposter.
“Alternately, she could be going through the exact same thing that I am, and I would want to protect her so that I can talk to her and get some answers.”
So I think we’re in agreement that no matter the situation, you should tackle her right now.
Ducking another random spray of magic from Midnight Flash, Blueblood shot across the room and slammed into Twilight just as she was sitting up. The two of them rolled into a pile, hidden from view at the back of the store.
Spotting the backdoor, Blueblood said, “Come on!” He knocked the door off its hinges with magic, yanking Twilight up and pulling her outside.
By this point, Twilight was lucid enough that when Blueblood told her to fly, she was able to spread her wings and follow him.
“Who was that?” Twilight demanded, glancing down at the shop as they departed the scene.
“No idea,” Blueblood said. “He was an alicorn, a big guy, and called himself Midnight Flash.”
Do you think… Trudy began. Do you think that was Shining Armor? He spent more time with Chrysalis than anypony. Plus, Twilight Sparkle used a disguise name that was a variant of Shining Armor’s name, “Bright Defender.” Do you think that he’d do the same, take a variant of his sister’s name and become “Midnight Flash?” Plus the whole having sex with princesses thing, he is married to Cadance.
It made a lot of sense. Blueblood wondered if Twilight had considered the connection. He glanced at her. She was still shaken up, apparently so much so that she still hadn’t realized her disguise was gone. Her insectoid changeling wings still looked incredibly out of place on her purple body.
“So…” Blueblood began as the two of them ascended into the night sky. “Do you have anything you want to tell me…Twilight?”
“Huh? How did you-” Realization hit Twilight and she nearly fell out of the air. Her Bright Defender disguise was back on in a literal flash.
Blueblood smirked. Bright, or rather, Twilight, stabbed a hoof at his chest. “Don’t you dare tell anypony!”
“Or what?”
“Or I’ll…” Twilight glared at him.
“I sense you’re not any good at threats,” Blueblood said. He couldn’t resist adding, “Just like you’re not any good at being a princess.”
Did you just go there?
“I can’t believe you just went there!” shouted Twilight. “Subjects have no right to talk to royalty that way!”
Blueblood frowned. “I agree with that statement, and therefore fail to see how it helps your argument.”
“Wait, you agree that subjects can’t say bad things about royalty?” Twilight said. “Blueblood, is that you?”
Busted!
Aghast, Blueblood managed, “No!”
Twilight crossed her hooves and gave him a look. Tipping her head slightly, her horn put off a single spark. Blueblood’s disguise melted away instantly.
Oh buck! Ouch, that was a shock to my system. Blueblood felt his skin crawl as if Trudy was shuddering. Okay, give me a sec to get everything back online.
Covering himself with his hooves as best as he could while Trudy worked to restore his disguise, Blueblood shouted at Twilight, “What was that for?”
“I just wanted us to be on even terms.” Twilight looked away, frowning as if thinking hard. “But now that we are, I’m not sure how to proceed. I mean, it’s pretty clear that the same thing happened to both of us. For some reason, we both then decided to fight crime.”
Her pace of conversation increasing, Twilight went on. “But then there are also superpowered criminals that also seem to be a product of this transformation. We don’t know how deep this goes; how many ponies are affected, how many of them are bad, how many are going crazy.”
Twilight looked at him as the two of them hovered there. “In fact, Blueblood, you might be the only one who hasn’t tried to do crimes.” She paused. “Wait a second, what were you doing in that lingerie shop?”
Bigger problems! Trudy warned. Blueblood’s eyes widened. Midnight Flash had made his way through the wreckage of the shop and was coming at them.
“Bigger problems!” Blueblood echoed, pointing.
Twilight turned. She paused as Midnight Flash screamed towards them as fast as his wings could go.
“What are we going to do?” Blueblood asked. “Fight him?”
Twilight shrugged. “Whatever.” Then she smiled. “Bring it on.”