Chapter 7: Gets Lucky
or
Lucky Gets
Lucky sat outside the restaurant wearing a hat and sunglasses. Pokey approached cautiously and in similarly suspicious attire.
“You wanted to speak to me.” Pokey sat across from his earth pony friend.
Lucky sighed, “Yeah.”
“What about?” asked Pokey.
“There’s a girl I like.” Lucky laid his head on the table.
“I see,” smiled Pokey. “And you have come to me, the smoothest stallion in Ponyville, to guide you.”
“HAHAHA!” Lucky laughed.
“Shaddup,” Pokey replied, still smiling.
“That’s hilarious.”
Pokey sat his sunglasses on the table. “Have you talked to this girl?”
“Yeah, a few times.” Lucky looked away. “I don’t know if she likes me or not. I can’t really tell.”
“You must act fast, before you get friendzoned!” declared the blue unicorn.
“Didn’t you get enemy-zoned before you and Pinkie started dating?” Lucky arched his brow.
“I have powers,” said Pokey, “Sexy powers. Don’t expect similar results.”
“I don’t know what to do,” Lucky groaned, stretching his forelegs across the table.
“Who is it?” Pokey asked.
“Don’t tell anypony,” Lucky demanded.
“I won’t.”
“Golden Harvest.”
“Carrot Top?” asked Pokey.
“That’s not her name,” frowned Lucky.
“S’what everpony calls her,” replied Pokey.
“Lucky likes Carrot Top?” smiled Pinkie, who was there now.
“WHA!?” Lucky jumped back, “When did you?!”
“She does that,” said Pokey.
“Does she know!?” Pinkie hopped onto the table to stare Lucky down.
“No!” he shushed her, “Be quiet! It’s a secret!”
“Oh!” she held her mouth and winked, “Gotcha! I won’t tell.”
“He needs our help getting the girl,” said Pokey.
“What!? That’s not what I…” Lucky began.
“You should bring her flowers!” declared Pinkie.
“No, Pinkie and I should disguise ourselves as robbers and you will save her from us!” declared Pokey.
“Ooh!” Pinkie jumped up and down, “That one! Let’s do that one!”
“That would never work,” Lucky refused.
“Ask her to teach you how to garden!” Pinkie suggested, “She LOVES gardening!”
“That’s really good," nodded Pokey, “Pinkie, your knowledge of everypony in town is invaluable to this operation.”
“Heehee!” she giggled.
“Do you think that would work?” asked Lucky.
“Just don’t get friendzoned!” Pokey warned him.
“What’s that?” asked Pinkie, “Because it sounds great and I don’t know why anypony wouldn’t want to go to a friend zone!”
“The friendzone is that place in a pony’s heart where they keep all of their friends, and NOT where they keep their very special somepony,” explained Pokey. “If she decides he’s just a friend, it could be forever too late to become anything more.”
“Ooooooh,” Pinkie looked back to Lucky, “and you don’t want that.”
“No,” he shook his head. He was embarrassed as hell.
“You’re blushing!” she laughed, “You should have seen Pokey when he asked me to be his very special somepony! He was going CRAAAA~ZYYYYY!”
“Okay,” Pokey blushed, “Let’s not tell that story.”
“Tell it,” said Lucky.
“He came in all seriously and was like ‘I don’t hate you.’ And paused for drama and I was all like ‘huh?’ and then he said ‘I love you’ and I was all like ‘love very special-somepony in-love love?’ and he was all ‘yes I’m interested in you in that way’ and I was all ‘then why you be poppin my balloons all the time?’ and he was all saying he liked balloons and that he popped them because he liked them which is weird but then he got all cute and flustered and rambled on and on like a crazy pony and I told him I thought he didn’t like me and he said ‘I worship your body’ and about had a heart attack and I thought that was funny but I was all swooning cause nopony had ever fallen in love with me before and it was Hearts and Hooves Day and he started talking about all the reasons he LOVES me and he said all these nice things about me and then he asked me to be his very special somepony and I’m like DUH OF COURSE I WILL and he was so happy and cute and nervous and we’ve been having so much fun hanging out ever since except this morning when we got in a fight over SPIDERS and he brought Fluttershy over to give me a speech about why spiders aren’t AWFUL and I guess I get it but they are still scary and I still don’t like them but I promised Flutters I’d stop squashing them and call her or Pokey to take them away whenever I see them but other than that everything’s been really great!”
Lucky laughed his arse off.
So with encouragement, Lucky found the strength to give Golden Harvest his bullshit story about how he wanted to learn how to garden; like a boss. They had sex that night.