Side Story: Your Heart’s Gonna Get Dashed, Son
or
A Little Story Called Don’t Be a Dick
Elsewhere, the trio of Hoops, Score, and Dumbbell were playing some kind of Pegasus basketball when Rainbow Dash passed by. Score grumbled some shit about her and Dumbbell and Hoops laughed as usual.
After she saved the Wonderbolts they’d hung out with her a couple of times, but it’s hard to be enemies for so long and just suddenly become friends, so everypony fell back to their old ways, albeit tempered.
But holy shit, Hoops had been crushing on Dash since childhood, and damn did shit change for him when he hit puberty. However, the poor boy was crushed by peer pressure. Not everypony is strong enough to stand alone.
His most cherished memory was of playing with Dash once as children, before picking on her became cool. They played all afternoon and into the evening. To this day he could swear that at that time, as the sun began to set and they slowly parted ways, she liked him as well.
Did she remember it, too? Was that halcyon evening from their distant childhood still as real to her? After the second Sonic Rainboom he thought he’d finally have his second chance; but he waited passively. He let his friends set the pace. In his timidity he hoped desperately for things to just ‘happen’ as so many wishful lovers do. It seemed he’d be waiting forever for circumstance to make his dream come true.
As he laughed he watched Rainbow Dash’s subtle glare. Passing the gate, she probably didn’t hear what was said, but Hoops knew she could guess the subject matter. That look… as though an old scar was being salted; not really painful, but annoying and remembering of pain. He was causing that look; his mouth’s indifference to his heart’s desire. Still, he didn’t stop. He continued playing with his friends, laughing and joking along.
That night he lay awake upon a cloud, staring at the stars. He angsted and angsted and angsted. He thought of how often he found himself thinking ‘something will happen’ as each moment of opportunity passed him by. At every fork he stayed the course. He never took a chance on anything. “If I died tomorrow or in a hundred years there’d be no difference in my obituary.”
Tomorrow was Hearts and Hooves Day. “I could do it. I could tell her tomorrow. I’m a strong guy, I can kick Dumbbell’s ass if he said anything…” He’d thought along these lines before.
But no! This time he’d act! This time he’d make a stand. No more lies, no more following. He acted like a loudmouth aggressor; it was time to make his lie the truth.
The next day, though it was late he’d somehow forced his wings to cross Dash’s path.
“H-hey,” He choked, “Rainbow Dash!”
She was taken aback, not often did he use her real name. She turned to face him. As they floated the evening reminded him of that distant memory.
“Yes?” she said with incredulity.
“I um…” The universe had turned towards him. Suddenly, there was no time. They were foals again. And yet a thousand years weighed on him. He was alive again, and he wanted to shout for help. “Will you be my very special somepony?”
The silence lasted for centuries as he struggled to decipher words from every inch and movement of her face. How long since he’d looked at her in honesty…
“No,” she said. “Why would I? You’re a jerk. You’ve always been a jerk.”
In that moment, what could he have done?
“And you’re an idiot for asking,” said Dash. She had lots of friends now. She no longer cared what he and his buddies thought about her. Besides, it was probably just a trick to make fun of her.
Hoops opened his mouth in the hope that the words, too, would ‘just happen’. They did not.
“Go ask Dumbbell,” she added, “I’m sure one of your buddies will be your girlfriend, loser.”
As she flew away the setting dark obscured the heart she dropped.
“Oh…” thought Hoops as it broke on the sidewalk below. He couldn’t help but not be surprised. He’d been setting up this punch line all his life.
As life went on for Hoops he continued in his old ways with his old friends, and making fun of Rainbow Dash got easier again with time. What could he do?
Life is scary.
Love is scary.
Forever onward, Hoops maintained in his heart that as foals on that halcyon evening, Dash liked him too.
The irony was that she had... but whatever.