All in all it had been a good day. There was good food, good fun, exciting performances, and all the classic hallmarks of a usual good time. Throughout, he had been happy, able to forget the inevitability of the grim mission ahead, but now, as the festivities were wearing thin, he was uneasy. He should have been gone last night, leaving with the promptness the mission called for, and for the sake of enjoyment he had stayed. It was filling his mind, even as his small posse returned to the tower, dropping off one by one to sleep after the violent overconsumption of cake and egg rolls.
Shadow didn’t follow suit, even with the sleeplessness of the night previous nerves were keeping him wired. He was waiting for the sounds of deep breathing from four distinct sources around him, wanting to avoid confrontation in his escape. The minutes ticked into hours even as the tiny dialogue on the wall ticked over to midnight and the distant church bells made their toll he only counted three rhythms. He gave a sigh of his own, burying his head in his pillow as he willed the last sound to come into being.
A completely separate sound answered his silent plea, the quiet, mechanical grind of the bookshelf door sliding open. He sat up quickly, afraid to see who might be creeping in on them, only to see the opposite happening as the tip of a tail passed the passage and disappeared into the hallway. He blinked curiously, rubbing the tired out of his eyes and looking again. Who could possibly be leaving?
There was only one solid answer to the empty question, and with pegasus grace he vaulted from the bunk, gliding on silent wings down to view his companions. Iris had taken the bunk directly below his, and Mesa was on the lower opposite, with Charm in the center canopy bed. His stomach sank as he confirmed each presence, the missing one becoming clear.
With a movement somewhat more silent than the previous exit Shadow slipped out the still-open passage and down the tower steps into the darkened hall. The deserter had moved out of sight already, in this blackness it wasn’t hard, but he could still hear hooves, faster than a patrolling guard. He silently cursed the lost ability to fly down the halls as he followed the sound, as quiet as he could while still keeping up.
When the sound led him to the main foyer he paused at the banister, looking down into the wide room to see the pony he’d been after. Lightning was standing there, illuminated by the moonbeams pouring in the wide windows, looking side to side as if for guards. Apparently satisfied, she slunk to the huge door at the front of the hall and slipped quietly out of the castle.
“Where the hay is she going?” Shadow asked of the darkness as he slid down the banister, landing with a muted clatter on the tiles below. He hated the main hall this time of night, when the tapestries took on a ghostly look rather than a beautiful one, and the statues by the stairs seemed to leer rather than merely stand guard. He made a point of not being out here much at night anymore.
It occurred to him, as he moved through the huge main doors into the frigid night air, that the only other time he had been out here at night had been with Lightning, and now here he was following her on some mystery agenda. It felt ironic almost, entirely against his preconceived notion of adventures with his friends, and it felt wrong, almost like he was betraying her trust.
Still, he wasn’t going back now, and since they were out of doors he had no trouble taking flight, silently ascending towards the castle rooftop to watch her from a distance. He had never been at such a spectacular vantage before, and for a second he nearly forgot about Lightning to just stare at the semi-circle of plant life that was the castle gardens. It was almost weird to see the sloping cliffs around the outside without the hedges obscuring the view. Canterlot castle had always seemed very top-of-the-world, and it was a surreal reminder that it was not, in fact, the mountain’s peak, but a gorgeously carved out section.
His attention snapped back to the red filly as his hooves found perchase on the roof’s tiles. She was going around the castle, seeming to be trying to stay in the shadow of the moonlight rather than be visible. Shadow’s mind reeled, looking for some reason for her to be hiding outside the castle, or where she could even be going. Her progress seemed arbitrary, moving once towards the hedge maze, then away from it, to the flower displays, and then off again. Fifteen minutes passed in idle silence as Shadow watched, the cold air the only thing keeping his drooping eyes open.
Finally Lightning moved to a reasonably linear route, though from this distance it was hard to read anything else. Shadow’s ears perked along with his interest as he stood again, stretching as he watched her move, seeming to grow smaller in the distance. His hoof touched upon a heavily damaged toaster oven, left there after some painful incident, and sent it clattering to the ground. He strained his eyes in observation, watching as Light seemed to be going right towards the sheer, distant cliff-face.
Nothing was going to be achieved by him struggling to keep his friend in sight, so Shadow leapt into the air again. His flight was a little erratic, shivering and flying was a poor combination, but he was able to follow Lightning’s course from a reasonable distance.
It turned out she was going right up to the cliff, a substantially long walk from the castle’s door that Shadow couldn’t fathom as a meaningless journey. AS they drew close, however, his eyes alighted on an opening that Lightning seemed to have been focused on throughout. It wasn’t a spectacular-looking cave, just high enough for a tall pony not to stoop, and it was entirely unadorned, but Lightning didn’t even seem to think about it as she walked in, her hoof-falls echoing up the cavern as Shadow watched on.
Well, no need to hesitate, it might be warm in there. He landed on the grass nearby, flinching at the chill of the moonlit dew. The opening of the cave looked twice as foreboding from the ground view, like a roughly chiseled hole in the otherwise smooth-cut stone. It reminded him enormously of his craters but based on the fading sound of hooves it went much further than one of those.
As he crossed the threshold into the cramped cavern his nose played host to the scent of moss and damp. Every step he took down the jagged path, flinching at the occasional sharp outcropping, made a certain sound play at his ears he couldn’t quite identify. It sounded as though liquid were running all around him, like rivers were filling the walls. The walk went on for minutes before, to his surprise, he found his hooves on grass again.
At first he thought he had doubled back by mistake, not expecting a lush, warm, mown expanse in the depths of a cavern, but the place he had emerged clearly wasn’t part of the garden. It was an alcove, naturally formed in the mountainside, with stone above and below. Moonlight poured from a wide opening in the wall, looking like a panoramic window to the plains far below. Water trickled from the walls and ceiling, pooling into a rivulet around the outside to flow down and out the edge of the opening, forming a small cascade. The grass was flat, well kept, apparently fed by water and whatever light came through that window, and tiny purple flowers forced up through the grass here and there. They weren’t, however, the only things emerging from the ground.
Line by line uniform, white headstones weaved through the grass, almost right up to the alcove’s edge. They were plain as a whole, mostly unadorned save for a few towards the back, but their meaning was plain. This was a cemetery.
Shadow’s thoughts left Lightning entirely as a cautious eye roamed over one of the frontal epitaphs, old and even somewhat mossy, but still legible. “Imperial Captain Dawn Guard,” the inscription stated “Old Rule Year 320 to New Celestial Year 14.” It wasn’t much to go on, though he expected the vague mess beneath this was an elaboration lost to time. It was year 985 now, he knew that much, a count based on the founding of Canterlot, meaning this pony had been dead for almost a thousand years. He wasn’t sure what year ended old rule dates though, he only had the most rudimentary knowledge of what they even were.
The other memorials around Dawn Guard’s seemed to be in similar states of decay, so Shadow stepped forward a few rows before bothering with another read. “Snowfleet,” his arbitrarily chosen epitaph stated “101-124” and fortunately it didn’t end there, the further, still clear message below the name and date stated “Initiate scout of Celestial Guard. Turned to stone by cockatrice in routine mission, could not be revived through our means. Given the medallion of heart post-mortem for giving his life for Canterlot.”
Shadow’s wings twitched in interest, that was much more of a story, though perhaps not as interesting as a captain’s might have been. He made a few short strides, skimming the names until he found one with a rank attached, somewhat newer, but still showing age.
“Lieutenant Boulder Chaser,” Shadow read from the tombstone “115-155. Longstanding member of the lunar guard. Initiate 129. Corporal promotion 135. Admiral promotion 138. Lieutenant promotion 150. Captain consideration 153, not selected. Boulder Chaser gave his life in the battle of screaming gorge against the buffalo armies. When cornered he was witnessed bringing down a butte into a rockslide, burying himself with dozens of enemy troops. Body recovered. Given medal of heroes post-mortem for his bravery and sacrifice.” There was the vaguest hint in Shadow’s mind that the Chaser name might connect him to this heroic pony somehow, and, almost to confirm his point, he brushed some of the grass aside to look at the smaller, forgotten-looking letters “Overseen by Astral Light, spouse, Star Light, daughter, Valley Chaser, son.”
This idle wonder gave Shadow a new calling in this yard of monuments, to see if he could be tied to any of the other heroes here. There was no proof he was even related to Boulder Chaser, but he had a hopeful hunch. He kept walking, checking the name on each headstone without reading them until he was halfway down the line. “Dream Chaser,” he read “510-522. Drummer girl for the first battalion squad in the autumnal war. Killed in magical crossfire during the battle of maple hill.” Shadow’s heart skipped a beat, she had been his age when she had died “Given the Valiant Heart’s award post-mortem.” He finished, searching in vain for any sign of a family.
Noticing a sorrowful trend amongst the inscriptions, Shadow moved on, thinking to choose one more at random, something he noticed as he skimmed the headstones was that sometime around the year 500 the number of male names dropped in favor of females, as though some population shift had occurred. He was really trying not to think too hard about anything here, it was all sounding very negative.
To try and change the subject again he snapped to a random stone, hoping to find some hero’s story to lead to wonder over fear. There was no such luck. “Dusk Bane,” the headstone detailed “607-641. Initiated 630. Promoted to Admiral 631, Lieutenant Promotion 632. Captain consideration 635, 636, 639, none accepted. Killed in single combat with a manticore during border patrol. Stripped of titles post-mortem upon discovery of internal corruption resultant in the deaths of several captains.”
Okay, no more of that, he had this place figured out now. It was a cemetery, yes, but more specifically it was a military cemetery, one which was reserved for Canterlot militants who had lain down their lives for the defense (or offense, war dictating) of Equestria. Reading more stories of death and tragedy would only depress him, and besides, he had come here for a reason hadn’t he?
Lightning! Shadow’s attention snapped upwards to look back and forth among the memorials, taking no time to detect the red coat among the green and white. He weaved towards her around the graves, almost to the very edge when he stopped, frozen by the sound of Light’s voice.
“Sabre’s been okay,” she said, staring with intensity at one of the stones “He’s not in the guard anymore, that’s one of the reasons we haven’t visited in so long. It’s just like he always says, I’m looking out for him, he’s looking out for me. He misses you guys, I think more now since well…” there was a break, and the sound of sharp inhalation “He’s not ever going to be here with you guys now, and I suppose in its own way that’s a good thing. I hope you’re proud of me… of my talent. I wish I could have told you about it earlier but, lots of stuff has been happening.”
Shadow’s blood iced as everything fell into an awful sort of order, why she was here, why she had snuck away. He didn’t even know what to do about it, how could he help, if he could, or should even try? He was feeling an overpowering urge to turn and leave the grief behind but… she was his friend right? Maybe just being there would mean something?
Lightning turned fast, prepared to throw a punch when she felt the gentle tap on her shoulder. This was her private time, whoever so much as dreamt of trespass on her talk would regret being born! She slowed at the sight of Shadow, who was trying to look sympathetic. She huffed, turning away to try and cover the emotion she was afraid to display.
“I guess you already knew huh?” she said, forcing composure again “I mean… your dad’s here too right…?”
Shadow shook his head “The doctors they… they burned him. He was out of service by the time he… left. Never had the chance to have his name here I guess, we weren’t in any wars or anything I don’t think.”
Lightning shook her head “The start of the changeling conflict was with Shining Armor, so I guess not…” she said, frost tinting her tone “Bastards…”
Shadow’s eyes went to the graves, already knowing what they would say, “Admiral Thunder Strike,” said one “931-978. Initate 950. Corporal Promotion 955. Corporal Thunder Strike rose above and beyond the call of duty for his position during the first changeling attack on Canterlot, defending the front gates with Silent Light, his partner. While their defense fell after stoic hours their desperate sacrifice allowed for the arrival of reinforcements. Given the Valiant Heart’s award and promoted to admiral post-mortem.” And the other, in parallel upkeep, right beside the first “Admiral Silent Light. 933-978. Initiate 950. Corporal promotion 954. Silent Light rose above and beyond the call of duty for her position during the first changeling attack on Canterlot, defending the gates with Thunder Strike, her partner. Their valiant defense effort gave reinforcements time to arrive, thought he couple was lost in their defense. Given the Valiant Heart’s award and promoted to admiral post-mortem.” And at the bottom of both, still clear “Overseen by Sabre Strike, son. Lightning Strike, daughter.”
“They were very brave,” Shadow offered “My dad fought a bunch of changelings during an infiltration once, that was a long time before their first real attack at the wedding though… what your parents did they’re… they’re heroes…”
Lightning quietly shook her head “I was four years old when they died… I don’t even remember what they looked like. Sabre talks about them a lot though. He misses them more than I do and I hate myself for it…”
“There’s… nothing wrong with that,” Shadow had to hesitate before he could complete the sentence “You don’t want to miss them. I mean, of course, but, you know what I mean, because it hurts. It hurts so much more than you could ever imagine when there’s someone who’s always been there for you… and then they’re gone…” he had to stop himself here, this wasn’t his moment.
“How did it happen?” Lightning asked “I… You know this now, and we never talk about it. Tell me,” she turned back to the graves again, taking a shuddering breath “How did you get left alone?”
Shadow really didn’t want to go into that, Lightning was right, they never talked about it, and for damn good reason. It was painful just to think about. After this long it wasn’t a subject that came up, but now that he’d intruded on such a vulnerable moment for Lightning the least he could do was make it some sort of fair between them.
“It was the first day of school,” he began “A year before we met, exactly. I mean, you know that after the whole changeling infiltration mom got suspicious and didn’t want me in Canterlot. It wasn’t safe for me to be, like, popular. It was just me and dad back then, he worked nights so he could keep an eye on me… We lived in that tiny house, the one by the forest you and I used to play in? That’s why I never wanted to leave. My whole life was there…”
Lightning nodded “You’re avoiding the question,” she said, not caring if she sounded a little harsh.
“I know,” said Shadow, looking away, sighing, then looking back “Nothing was weird until I got home, and then I didn’t know it. He left a note for me, basic words I could read back then, saying he’d gone to see a doctor. When he didn’t come home when it got dark I kind of panicked.” He paused again, almost choking, it was more vivid than he had been expecting “Fluttershy was our closest neighbor, so I went to see her for help. She took me down to the hospital, and we waited the whole night there, and I must have fallen asleep because…” he caught a shuddering breath, not wanting to get to this point “I don’t think I was supposed to know yet, and maybe it would’ve been easier if they’d told me later but… Fluttershy was talking to the nurse, and I swear I’ll never forget exactly what she said. ‘Umbra Chaser passed away last night.’”
Shadow pawed at the grass, feeling his face streak, unable to hold back tears anymore “It was like it was nothing!” he nearly shouted “Like some kind of a fucking accident! She was sorry, yeah, but how is that enough? He was gone, my dad was gone, and they didn’t even care…” he shook his head “I panicked Light, and I shoved past the doctors because I had to see. I hoped that it wasn’t true but… well it was.” He looked back up to Lightning “I saw him, not moving, like he was sleeping but he wasn’t breathing… and there was just this trickle of blood from his ear. We’ve been through a lot of shit, Light, but… I don’t think we’ve ever lived through something that bad…”
“I have,” said Lightning, almost stern “You know I have…” she fixed him with a blank, firm gaze “At least they told you right away, instead of sending someone to your house to try and skirt around the issue with fancy words so the kid doesn’t understand… at least you never had to ask the question ‘why are they burying my dad?’. It wasn’t just awful it was confusing, and it was terrible and…” she shook her head “I want it to just stop… I want the pain to go away...”
Lightning didn’t expect the hug, but they both knew in that moment it was exactly what they both needed. Shared grief had been what had connected them so long ago, and those bonds were still strong. Now here they were, with everything out there, quiet tears and comfort mixing on either shoulder, in either hoof, sharing the silence of the alcove.
“Maybe you’re right…” said Lightning, coming back slowly “Maybe it’s better… better that I never really knew them…”
Shadow pulled away, wiping an eye and shaking his head “I was only an orphan for like a year and a half,” he said “You don’t deserve to have both your parents here… that’s just not right…”
“Neither is watching your dad bleed out of his head,” said Lightning “Look, let’s not do that whole, just, awful one-upmanship on whose life was worse okay? Everything’s alright now isn’t it?”
Shadow’s eyes turned from pain to quiet fear, memory of a certain mission prompted at the very mention of it. He looked away, suddenly unable to meet Lightning’s gaze. Light could feel her heart sink.
“Everything is okay… isn’t it?” she asked “You’re not going to tell me you’ve got cancer or something now are you?”
“No,” said Shadow, feeling cold “Look, Light, stuff’s been going bad lately. It kind of started right before you got here, and, well, it kind of has to do with…” he sighed “Do you remember the thing with Chrysalis? Where you got hit with the electricity and… all that stuff…”
Lightning flinched slightly, as though some pain had been encountered in the vicinity of her left temple “Um, no…” she said, rubbing her head “It’s kind of a blur… I remember waking up in the hospital with Sabre clinging to me like life itself but… I don’t remember how we got there. I just kind of guessed I got a concussion or something and forgot about it…”
Shadow was trying to repress the image himself “Something like that,” he lied “But… some bad stuff had to happen when you got better, and now I’ve got to do some stuff or worse things are going to happen.”
Defying Shadow’s expectation, she actually perked up at this “You’re running away again aren’t you?” she asked “Please, be running away, I want to go with you!”
“What?” Shadow exclaimed “I never said- okay, I was going to but… look, it’s super dangerous.”
“Good.” Said Lightning.
“And, completely insane.” Said Shadow.
“As if you’d be any other way?” said Lightning.
“You’re going to make me bring you along,” said Shadow “Just drop everything and follow me off into the wild blue again… right?”
“Octavia can take the fall,” said Lightning “So talk, star chaser, where are we heading?”
Shadow broke into a broad smile, it was just like old times again “Some place called the great cape,” he said “We’re going to smash a cup.”
“Wait, that’s it?” said Lightning “Breaking glassware?”
“Breaking glassware on another continent,” Shadow offered.
Lightning shrugged “Good enough for me,” she said “When are we leaving?”
“Well now would be a good time!” Light and Shadow turned on a dime back to the cave entrance as a familiar, singsong voice came from the blue unicorn standing in the entry.
“How-?” Shadow started.
“Your damn bookcase woke the zebra,” said Charm, the smaller form of Iris nudged out from behind her with a squeak “And I wasn’t going to let the blind girl follow you alone. Don’t you think you can leave us out of this, we come, or we blab the whole thing to Celestia!”
“I wouldn’t do that…” said Iris, shrinking away from Charm slightly “But… I do know a lot of zebra on the Great Cape don’t like ponies… I was hoping I could help you/”
Lightning’s grin was spreading as Shadow seemed to search for an escape “Sounds like we’ve got a party!” she said “Like, no offense, but way better than your party too!”
“None… taken?” said Shadow “Look, if you’re going to be stubborn about this, there’s probably not anything I can do about it, but I’d rather not panic more parental figures than we already have to. God, mom’s going to kill me for this anyway…”
“It’ll take a few days for my mom to notice I’m gone, probably,” said Charm “I’m almost never home and, well, neither is she, so I’m good! What about you guys?”
“Well Sabre’s going to cook me alive,” said Lightning “But it’s worth it!”
Iris seemed to be trying to hide her face, not chiming in while Shadow looked between the three. She had some much stronger misgivings about the whole departure, but if the rest of the group was off, and they wanted her along, she’d already offered…
“I guess Light’s right…” said Shadow “We’ve got a party…”