What Am I Fighting For?

by 2006midnight


Unknown

Princess Celestia sighed in relief as she walked out of the throne room. The nobles had been especially tedious, and she was looking forward to relaxing in her chambers. Suddenly, she felt something smash into her chest, forcing her to stumble backwards awkwardly. Taken aback by the abrupt assault the princess of the sun flared her wings in order to regain her balance. Once she was steady on her legs again, Celestia looked in front of her to see who had bumped into her. As her eyesight came into focus, she saw a young stallion who was dressed in the armor of her Royal Guard, yet she had never seen him before. Without giving him a chance to explain himself, Celestia asked, “Where is your post soldier? I don’t recall having any of my guards scheduled to nearly knock me down this evening.”

As soon as she spoke, the stallion had scrambled to his hooves and bowed before her. “Your Highness! I’m so sorry! I just wasn’t watching where I was going. Are you alright?”

Chuckling at how frantic he was to get his apology out, Celestia replied calmly, “Don’t worry about it; everypony makes mistakes sometimes. I am quite alright, but I’m more concerned about you.”

“Me?” the stallion asked in a bemused tone. “Don’t worry about a thing Princess. The only part of me that’s hurt is my pride. I can’t believe that I ran into you on my first day.” The young guard facehooved and groaned, “I’ve probably lost my job because of this, in any case.”

Puzzled at the stallion’s reaction, Celestia wrapped a wing around him reassuringly and said, “It’s alright, I promise. You won’t lose your job over such a small mistake.”

As he looked up at her in surprise and opened his mouth to speak, Celestia shook her head slightly. “Come, walk with me for a bit.”

With the young stallion following close behind her, the sun princess turned and began to walk in the direction of the castle gardens. As soon as they had gotten a fair distance away from the sight of the castle, Celestia turned to the guard and asked, “What’s your name?”

“Silver Flame, Princess.”

Celestia smiled, “For right now, you can just address me as Celestia.”

“Are you sure? I’m still technically on duty, and that doesn’t seem right.”

The princess of the day’s smile widened as she said, “There is absolutely nothing wrong with it since I requested that you do so.”

Silver Flame nodded shyly and waited for Celestia to speak again. She strode over to one of the many statue's adorning the royal gardens and stood, merely staring at it for quite a few moments before finally asking, "Silver Flame, is there something wrong? I can't help but feel like you're troubled by something."

Upon hearing the sun princess' question Silver Flame jerked his head up and flattened his ears slightly. After a brief moment of hesitation, he answered, "Yes, Celestia, there is something wrong. Do I really make it that obvious?"

With a gentle smile, Celestia said, "No, you didn't make it obvious. I've just been alive for so long that I can tell these things. Would you like to talk about it at all?"

Sighing softly, Silver Flame sat down on the perfectly manicured grass. In a soft voice, he began to pour out all his troubles to Celestia. "It just feels like everything I do, I do for others. In a way, you could say that I've lost my feeling of purpose in life. Every day has become a chore almost, just to force myself to even get out of bed in the morning. It's not that I don't want to do get up and continue living, it's that the weight I'm forced to bear is dragging me down and making tasks that were once so simple, nearly impossible. I feel hopeless and lost, as if I'm falling into darkness, and I just don't know so many basic things anymore that I'm wondering what I'm supposed to do. Why am I still alive, and why am I still fighting through this? I used to be able to answer those questions, but now...my life is empty."

A tear slid down the young stallion's cheek as he finished speaking which did not escape the sun princess' notice. Lovingly, Celestia dropped to her knees beside him and began to speak in an even softer voice than he had. "I've often felt the same way throughout all my long years of life. There have been times where I've wondered why I've kept going, especially when simple tasks felt like I was being asked to move mountains. But each and every time I felt that way, I found strength within my soul to continue on. I had realized that just the joy of being alive was enough to make even the hardest things worth fighting for."

Silver Flame looked up at Celestia and spoke hesitantly, "But for you, since you're immortal, it's easy to say that things will eventually look up because you have forever for them to do so. For me, I could search my entire life, for a time or place where things will start to fare better and easily run out of time. I don't want to die knowing that my entire life was a disgrace, spent searching for the unachievable. I want to feel like my life had a purpose. That's what I've been searching for, and yet, I can't seem to find one."

"But you do have a purpose," Celestia countered, "Your continued existence is proof of that."

"How so?" Silver Flame asked in a puzzled tone.

"Because you are still here, searching for your purpose, it means that you still want to continue living. Everypony will have tough times in their life, but it is those who strive to do all that they can to get through them who are the strongest of all. Yes, you might be searching for your purpose right now, but in the end, you'll be able to die much happier with the knowledge that you continued to fight, rather than knowing that you gave up. The reward will be so much sweeter in the end, when you realize that it was your continued perseverance that brought it to you."

Silver Flame wiped the tears from his eyes and looked at Celestia as if he was seeing her for the first time. "Thank you," he said, "That was exceptionally moving, and I think I understand what I have to do."

Smiling in satisfaction, Celestia stood up, and said, "You're quite welcome. I hope you will always remember what I have told you."

As he too, stood up, the young stallion replied, "Of course, I will forever cherish such valuable advice."

A proud expression on her face, Celestia said, "I'm extremely glad I was able to help. Unfortunately, I must return to the castle in order to attend the evening meal with my sister. I wish you luck in discovering your purpose Silver Flame."

As the sun princess turned and began to walk back to the castle, Silver Flame called after her, "Thank you for everything, Princess. I will never forget this evening."

Turning her head, Celestia smiled at him one last time before walking back toward the castle to meet her sister. Silver Flame watched her go, his eyes shining in reverence.