9
Thunderhead slept peacefully, having passed out into a state of near-deathlike sleep. He was accustomed to being conked out on his bed back in Canterlot this early in the afternoon, so it was no surprise that he’d be sawing logs despite the activity around him. The majesty of Rainbow Falls in the daytime was entirely unable to keep him in the waking world. Not even the sensitive nature of the conversation happening right above his head even phased his barrier of slumber.
“And it all started just like that?” Rarity asked, leaned over towards Rainbow Dash just as far as she could stretch plus one inch. “I never pegged you for being so forward.”
“Yeah, neither did I.” Rainbow Dash still wasn’t very comfortable recounting the story of how she and Thunderhead became an item. Rarity’s eagerness piled on the wide-eyed looks from the rest of her friends weren’t really helping her come to terms. She wished Thunderhead was conscious; they could at least be embarrassed together. “I dunno, I just kind of exploded…”
“Y’all were probably bottling up your feelin’s,” Applejack said, offering up her explanation. “You finally burst under the pressure of it all and jumped on him in a moment of weakness. Y’all had been acting a bit strange that night.”
“I was not!” Rainbow Dash replied, her face growing hotter. “And I do not bottle up my emotions.”
“Yes you do,” Rarity said, contesting the obvious lie. The other mares chipped in their words of agreement, setting the record straight that Rainbow Dash did indeed hide and bottle up the things she was feeling often right up until the breaking point. She might call it being strong, but everypony else called in being stubborn.
“Whatever…”
“Anyway, you must tell us more.” Rarity wasn’t here to discuss the finer points of Rainbow Dash’s temperament; however, she technically wasn’t here to discuss her love life either. She was here to help celebrate Taboo’s birthday, but that took a backseat for the moment. Taboo was off somewhere playing with her friends anyway, so Rainbow Dash was trapped in this conversation whether she liked it or not. For the record, she didn’t like it.
“What else is there to tell?” Rainbow Dash already knew there was plenty to disclose, but it was more of a question of what she could get away with keeping private.
“Darling, you pounced on him all of a sudden in the night. Did you two do anything?” Rarity asked, getting right at the juicy bits.
“That seems a little too personal,” Twilight pointed out, but only blushing Fluttershy appeared to agree with her. The others looked ready to get the retelling in explicit detail.
“It doesn’t matter because we didn’t ‘do anything,’” Rainbow Dash replied, mocking Rarity on the last beat. “And we haven’t ‘done anything,’ so don’t ask.”
“Oh, how boring.” Rarity backed off, having lost almost all interest. “And here I thought you were serious about him.” Everypony had kind of forgotten that Thunderhead was physically present at the moment.
“We are so serious!” Rainbow Dash snapped back at her. “Just because we don’t ‘do anything’ doesn’t mean we aren’t serious. We’re way serious!”
“Sure, darling. Sure you two are.” Rarity smiled at her like she might smile at Sweetie Belle while explaining one of her latest plans to get her cutie mark. “And you can go ahead and say sex, darling. We’re all adults here.”
“I don’t have to say it!”
“Just say sex, RD,” Applejack said, supporting Rarity. “It’s more embarrassing to watch you beat around the bush.”
“There’s no reason to be embarrassed about sex, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said with that look in her eye like she was about to jump into a lecture. “It’s perfectly natural act of procreation and pleasure between two ponies. I know the intimacy of the act makes it a bit embarrassing to talk about, but speaking about it in the general sense in an open, public way makes it easier to approach the act in a healthier way. We’re not here to judge you, but just know it comes off as a bit childish to try and cover up the subject matter by giving it a codename of sorts. We all know what you mean anyway, so why not just say it?”
“Wow Twilight, way to suck the fun out of that.” Rarity rolled her eyes, happy Twilight’s little speech had come to a close. Even if there wasn’t going to be anymore poking fun at Rainbow Dash, she still had questions that needed answers. “Establishing a relationship is all good and well, but when are you two ever going to have a proper romantic rendezvous?”
“What do you mean ‘a proper romantic rendezvous?’” Rainbow Dash asked, unfamiliar with the terminology.
“I think she’s askin’ when he’s gonna come and call on you like a courtin’ stallion would normally do,” Applejack said, attempting to clarify; however, this one went right past Rainbow Dash as well.
“She means to ask when you’re going on a date,” Twilight said, finally putting it into common parlance for Rainbow Dash.
“A date? How is hanging around my house not constitute a date?” Rainbow Dash asked. She hadn’t really considered going out on the town with Thunderhead up until this point. There wasn’t anything out there that she wanted to do with him that they couldn’t do on the couch.
“It’s good to get to know him outside the context of your house, darling,” Rarity said, arguing her case. “You go out with a stallion to movie or dinner or anything really so you can find out more about him.”
“What could I find out about him at a movie or dinner that I couldn’t find out at home?”
“Well… there’s plenty.” Rarity hadn’t expected to provide examples. She figured there wasn’t any specific tidbit of information any activity could unearth. Facts just followed with the experiences. She looked to her friends for help.
“Taking him to a movie could lead to conversations about certain worldviews,” Twilight said, pitching in to help her friend. “A good film always leads to good intellectual conversation. You wouldn’t want to be involved with someone who wouldn’t be able to see things through your eyes, would you?”
“Oh, and if you take him to dinner you might find out he eats like Twilight!” Pinkie Pie added in her two bits, much to Twilight’s chagrin.
“I eat like everypony else…”
“You eat like each meal is your first time seeing food,” Rainbow Dash said, backing up Pinkie Pie on this one. Twilight Sparkle had atrocious table manners for somepony who grew up in Canterlot; moreover, she had subpar table manners for somepony who was raised under a barn on the edge of reclaimed wilderness. “And besides that, I’ve seen him eat anyway.”
“I am a normal eater…”
“And we talk about books from time to time.” Rainbow Dash was seeing less and less a point to going on a traditional date. “We’re fine hanging around the house.”
“I think it would be nice for you two go out on a date,” Rarity said, but Rainbow Dash still wasn’t having it. The unicorn furrowed her brow and rephrased. “You need to get out of the house and away from Taboo for at least one night in your life. Go to dinner, go to a movie, go hang out on somepony else’s couch for all I care! You haven’t had a night out for yourself in two years, darling. Nopony will think any less of you for hiring a sitter and taking a personal night once and a while.”
“Look, I’m n-” Rainbow Dash had to stop when Rarity shoved her hoof into her friend’s mouth.
“No, no, no more objections,” Rarity said, tittering at her. “Just give it some more thought.”
“Spike, give up already.”
“No! This is ridiculous! She has to be around here somewhere,” Spike said, turning over the last of every stone for the eighth time. He had taken the tales of Taboo’s Hide-and-Seek prowess with more than a fair share of salt, but ten rounds in nopony had even managed to find a trace of her. Present company was used to extended searches for the filly, but Spike was taking it right up into the next level. “Ponies don’t just disappear!”
“Taboo does,” Pumpkin said, rolling her eyes and plodding right behind that dragon. “Just give up so we can start again. It’s Pound’s turn to count.”
“We’ve looked everywhere, Spike.” Pound halted right in his tracks and sat down. Pumpkin followed in suite, bringing the procession to a halt. The caboose of this procession, and also their current supervisor, took a seat as well.
“Well, I’m glad to see Spike getting so into the game,” Palette said, smiling over at the little dragon. “I mean, he was the one complaining that it was a kid’s game before we started.”
“It is a kid’s game,” Spike replied, turning about face to his halted captives. “But what we have here is a real mystery.”
“There’s no mystery about it,” Pound said. “She cheats.”
“You don’t know that,” Pumpkin said, starting yet another to and fro argument between the twins. Spike and Palette left them to that while Spike continued with his speech.
“I’m telling you, we’ve got to find her!” Spike puffed out his chest and assumed a pose of heroic inspiration with both arms rigid at his side. “She’s got a secret technique of hiding that we need to uncover. This could be the next big thing in Hide-and-Seek!”
“I think somebody is just having trouble admitting he’s been bested,” Palette said, causing Spike’s confidence to deflate. He did have to admit that he was starting to feel like he was just wasting his time.
“Yeah… well… I’ve never been good at this anyway.” Spike took another glance around for Taboo, but there was still no sight of her anywhere. Tired of his fruitless search, Spike gave the call for her to come out.
Spike’s voice broke through the silence of the afternoon. Taboo had been waiting for this call for what felt like forever, curled up in a patient lump. She had won again, and winning never got old. It was way too easy, so easy that she didn’t understand why everypony else didn’t do it. She just thought it was their loss as she underwent the process of getting back up.
She started at her tail, feeling each hair bristling as it was freed all the way up to the end. The joints on her hind legs were next next, allowing her to start pushing herself onto her stiff forelegs. The sensation of freedom hit her torso and quickly radiated up her neck and down to her hooves, allowing the filly to stand free and tall once again. She flicked her restless ears and stretched her wings a few times, both stiff from being unable to move for such a long period of time.
The transition was completed, and Taboo trotted her way towards the others. Every time she hid, it got a little easier. The longer she stayed that way, the more comfortable she became. She was a little young to understand or appreciate the zen-like state she had found, but then again she was even more so naïve to begin to understand the larger implications. When she rejoined the group they would ask her where she hid, and she would tell them the same place as before. If they weren’t so concentrated on where she hid, perhaps they would question how she hid.
Rainbow Dash and Taboo waved off Rarity and Pokey, the former of the former party happy she had managed to survive yet another wedding. In what can only be described as a miracle, the whole ceremony went off without a hitch. The weather was perfect, the bride was contented, the groom was confident, relatives didn’t bicker, the cake wasn’t destroyed, and Discord never showed up for reasons nopony cared enough to wonder about. Rainbow Dash was hoping that every wedding could go so well, and then the bouquet flew out of the back of the carriage and smacked her in the face.
“I’m tellin’ you, it’s a sure sign,” Applejack said for the umpteenth time. Rainbow Dash had already discarded the bouquet, citing once again that she didn’t believe in the dumb superstition. “If’n Thunderhead can stay awake long enough, you’ll end up walking down the aisle next, sugarcube.”
“It’ll happen when it happens.” Rainbow Dash wasn’t in any kind of hurry. The way things were now was enough for her. “Right now, I just want to get home and get out of this dress. I can’t stand this thing.”
“But it’s pretty!” Taboo contested, reveling in another chance to dress up. “And are we going home already?”
“Not right this second, bu-”
“Then I’m gonna go get more cake!” Taboo hopped off her mom’s back and headed off on her own.
“Hey, Taboo!” Calling after her didn’t do much good. Taboo was puttering around at high speeds these days, even if her wings weren’t part of the equation. She was really taking after her mother. “Jeez, there’s just no containing her these days.”
“She’ll be fine,” Applejack said, speaking the honest truth as usual. Barely anypony around would bug Taboo. This was a safe place, so there was no fear in leaving her alone for a bit. If things did get bad, Thunderhead was asleep somewhere around there anyway; however, Rainbow Dash realized she’d forgotten exactly where she had left him. “Besides, I got somethin’ I’ve been meaning to ask you about.”
“Really? Shoot.”
“You know that fancy restaurant in the middle of town, Mes Choux?”
“Never heard of it,” Rainbow Dash lied. She was already uninterested in whatever Applejack was going to say next. Rainbow Dash wasn’t a gourmet by any stretch of the imagination, unless being a nut about health food counted.
“The thing is that I’ve got this voucher for a free dinner for two there. I won it in a raffle at Applebloom’s school, instead of that handsome lookin’ jar of pickled beets.” Applejack produced the voucher in question out from under her hat, as if she’d been waiting for this exact moment all day. “I was wonderin’ if you wanted it.
“Why me?” Rainbow Dash had to ask, considering she wasn’t the only one of a two around these parts.
“Doesn’t matter why you. I just thought it’d be a nice opportunity for you and Thunderhead to do something other than watch each other sleep.”
Rainbow Dash nearly said no, but for the first time since she’d ever considered going on a normal date with Thunderhead she hesitated. Maybe it was because she’d been hit in the head with a quarter pound of white roses, but Rainbow Dash decided to what-if the situation.
“Okay, say I accept the voucher.” Even as Rainbow Dash said this, Applejack already looked like she was celebrating her victory. “Who is going to watch Taboo?”
“Well, it could be anypony,” Applejack said, thinking it was the simplest thing. “Anypony could do it.”
“Not just anypony,” Rainbow Dash pointed out. “If somepony is going to look after her at night, I want Taboo at home and in bed at her normal bedtime. I need a pegasus who can be up late, and I’m a little short on those.”
“There’s got to be somepony.” Applejack couldn’t believe there wasn’t a single pony in all of their acquaintances who wouldn’t do it. “You’re just looking for an excuse not to do it.”
“The bottom line is this, Applejack.” Time got slow for a moment. Everything fell silent as Rainbow Dash uttered her next sentence. “I need a foalsitter for Taboo.”
Heeding the long awaited call to action, a figure flew out from the table next to the two mares. It made a few wonky loops around the two, stirring up a mild breeze as it made the moderately fast journey. Finally it landed, huffing and puffing only briefly, to stick out its chest before doubling back over to huff and puff some more.
“Scootaloo, what are you doing?” Rainbow Dash asked, shaking her head at the exhausted filly.
“I’m… answering the… call!” Scootaloo said, still catching her breath. “You said the magic words… to summon me!”
“Huh?”
“Scootaloo, are you okay?” Applejack asked, really concerned about the pegasus. “You didn’t get into the cider, did you?”
“What? No! I’m here to foalsit. I’ve been training for this day and waiting for this moment!” Scootaloo puffed out her chest and managed to keep it there this time; however, the sweat on her brow made it less impressive.
“That’s where you’ve been this whole time?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Waiting for me to say I needed a foalsitter?”
“Always lying in wait, always ready!”
“I doubt that’s the first time I’ve said that,” Rainbow Dash said, thinking back. “In fact, I know it’s not.”
“Well, I can’t always be hiding in wait,” Scootaloo protested, contradicting herself. “I’ve got things to do, and sometimes you went to Cloudsdale which is way too high up and far away for me to reach. Then I was sick for a week and I had to visit my grandma and then there was the time I saw this dog-”
“Alright, let’s forget all that.” Rainbow Dash tried to get things moving back on track. “You want to foalsit Taboo?”
“It’s my destiny!” Scootaloo was dead serious about all of this, if not just a bit overdramatic. Waiting for one’s moment to shine can do that to a pony. “I can stay in your house and keep an eye on her for as long as you need!”
“But you’ve never even met her,” Rainbow Dash said, reminding Scootaloo that her “vigilance” had made her uncommonly absent.
“That’s because I’m going to become the foalsitter now and forever for her, and so I had to keep my identity a secret until the right moment came!”
“Are y’all sure you’re feelin’ alright?” Applejack had to ask just one more time. Scootaloo was being more Scootaloo than usual. “Maybe you should sit down.”
“The only sitting I’ll be doing is foalsitting! … Nailed it.” Scootaloo was obviously taken with the whole fantasy she’d constructed for this exact moment in time. Rainbow Dash was impressed, if not a deal confused. She knew Scootaloo well enough to know she wasn’t the most reliable filly around, but if she was serious Rainbow Dash was inclined to trust her.
“So, you really want to do this?”
“Super sure!”
“Are you sayin’ yer gonna do it?” Applejack asked. Rainbow Dash nodded, signaling that Applejack was victorious. “Well, it’s about time!”
“Yeees! My time has come!” Scootaloo shouted to the sky. She pulled Rainbow Dash into a strangling bear hug. “I won’t let you down! You can count on me!”
“Wonderful, now please let go.” Rainbow Dash tapped the eager pegasus on the foreleg frantically for she was starting to see stars. Scootaloo complied, releasing Rainbow Dash to reunite herself with the sensation of breathing.
“This is awesome! I’ve got to go tell Applebloom and Sweetie Belle!” Scootaloo said, beaming from ear to ear. She turned to fly off somewhere else, but Rainbow Dash stopped her with a hoof on her shoulder. She turned the filly back around and faced her.
“Hey,” she said, rather sternly. Despite her best effort after that to remain stone faced, Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but crack a smile. “It’s good to see you.” For a rare couple of moments, the pair of pegasi dropped their respective cool acts and just hugged it out.
If Taboo had to pick her one favorite thing about weddings, cake would definitely be among the top contenders. Having finished off another piece, Taboo started looking around for her mommy. There weren’t too many ponies left around, so it was easy to find her mother talking with Applejack over where she left her. She started to head in that direction, but another sound caught her attention.
It wasn’t that loud or nearby, but Taboo could tell it was somepony crying. Curious, she changed course and followed the sound to its source. The sound lead her out and away from everypony else, to a secluded corner of the party behind where the DJ had been set up. She poked her head under a tablecloth, discovering the source of the waterworks.
“Spike?”
Spike jumped upon hearing his name. He quickly rubbed any moisture out of his eyes before turning around to face Taboo. It was still somewhat obvious that he’d been crying, but that hardly mattered since Taboo already knew what he was up to.
“Hey Taboo… what’s up?” He wasn’t sure how he’d been found, considering he went to great lengths to find a place nopony would bother him. He was comforted somewhat that it was only Taboo.
“Why are you crying?” Taboo asked, joining him underneath the table. “Does your stomach hurt?” It was hard for her to come up with many reasons somepony might be crying at a wedding reception. Her mommy had told her that sometimes ponies cry during the ceremony because they are happy, but that made even less sense to Taboo. There was something about the how and where Spike was crying that told her very clearly that he was not happy.
“No, my stomach is fine. It’s my heart that hurts,” Spike said to her. There wasn’t any point in hiding the truth. Pretty much anypony else would be able to figure out what had him upset. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be fine.” Spike smiled at Taboo, but it didn’t seem to do anything to sway her.
“Why does your heart hurt?” Taboo had never known anypony’s heart to hurt before. She was actually even more concerned about Spike now that she knew it could.
“It got broken… or I guess it’s been broken and I’ve just been pretending it’s not.” Spike curled up into a tighter ball, hugging his knees close. He was tearing up a little again, but he kept talking through it. “I thought I could make it through today and just be happy for her, but it was too tough. Even if I tell myself it was never meant to be, it doesn’t really help.”
“Never meant to be?” Taboo still didn’t understand what was going on. It seemed to her that not only was Spike in a lot of pain, but he didn’t know why he was in pain any more than she did.
“I just want to get over her,” Spike said, getting right at the core of the problem. For all his hoping and all his trying, he’d wound up by himself. Despite his quiet acceptance and attempts to ignore his feelings, he still scorned the outcome. Now he would have to forever hold his peace, and right now that sounded like the worst possible thing.
Somepony sat right next to him and leaned against his shoulder. He’d almost forgot for a second that Taboo was with him right now, but now she was cuddling up next to him. She smiled up at him, her intentions unreadable behind her innocence.
“I don’t get why you’re sad,” she told him. It wasn’t exactly the most tactful or helpful thing to say at the moment, but Taboo was partially excused for her immaturity rendering her unable to properly empathize. Nonetheless, she spoke what comfort she could. “But it’s okay, Spike. You’ll be alright.”
“Thanks, Taboo.” It felt good to be comforted, but even better to be comforted by someone who couldn’t bring the problem back up. He was sure once he came out from under the table, everypony else would ask him about Rarity and how he felt about the wedding. He decided to just mope in Taboo’s company for just a little while longer. He thought that surely he had a right to just be sad for a while.
Thunderhead blinked his eyes open and groggily started coming back around to the sound of his own name. He’d just been making toast for his third grade teacher, but how he was face to face with Rainbow Dash in some setting he didn’t quite recognize. He slowly remembered that he was at Rarity’s wedding, but he couldn’t remember if she was married already or not.
“Are you awake?”
“Yeah… I’m awake.” Thunderhead was not fully awake. He wasn’t even close to awake, considering how deep in sleep he’d just been in. “What’s up?”
“We’ve been together for almost half a year now, right?” Rainbow Dash asked, trying to segue into her big question; however, Thunderhead wasn’t awake enough to understand that. From where he was sitting, Rainbow Dash just woke him up to find out how long they’d been making out on her couch.
“Yeah… that was last winter… now it’s summer… half a year.” Thunderhead closed his eyes, ready to get back to his precious sleep.
“So… don’t you think it’s about time we went on a ‘real’ date?” Rainbow Dash wasn’t sure how to phrase the question to make any more sense than that.
“Huh?” The question made even less sense to the drowsy stallion.
“Because Applejack gave me this voucher for a fancy dinner and Scootaloo said she’d foalsit Taboo for us…”
“… What’s a Scootaloo?”
“So I think maybe we should try it out.” Rainbow Dash wasn’t so much talking to Thunderhead as she was to herself at this point, and not just because the stallion was pretty much already back to sleep. She was on board with the whole thing seeing as all the pieces had fallen into place, but something about taking their relationship out of its normal context made her a bit uneasy. “We can just be like a normal couple for one night. I think that’d be nice.”
“Yeah, sounds good.” Thunderhead was totally on autopilot now. Sleep was taking him back into her sweet embrace and he was gone within moments.
“Alright… cool. We can do it next week,” Rainbow Dash said, getting up and leaving Thunderhead to sawing his logs and completely ignorant of the date he’d just made.
“But why can’t I come?” Taboo asked for what had to have been the thousandth time, following Rainbow Dash around at her hooves like a puppy. Rainbow Dash worked around her, finishing up her preparations for the night. Even if it was just Thunderhead, she decided she may as well put a little effort into her appearance since they were going to a fancy restaurant. “Mooommy!”
“This is just for daddy and me tonight. You’re going to stay here with a sitter, alright?” Rainbow Dash wasn’t exactly sure how explaining it that way over and over was going to solve the problem, but on the other hoof she wasn’t sure other avenues of reason were going to get through to Taboo.
“But I wanna go with you two,” Taboo said, following Rainbow Dash right at her heels as she went downstairs. “Why can’t I come?” It always came back around to the same question.
“It’s just for tonight, squirt. Besides, we’re going to dinner and you already ate. You wouldn’t like the food at this place we’re going anyway,” Rainbow Dash said, willing to make up just about anything to get Taboo to cooperate. “You can stay here and have fun with Scootaloo.” Right on cue, there was a rapid knocking at the door. Rainbow Dash winged over and opened it up with Taboo bringing up the rear. Scootaloo was standing outside, but for some reason she was standing with her back to the door.
“Did someone order a sitter?” She asked, turning around suddenly. Rainbow Dash could only stare at her while Taboo ducked behind her mother’s leg, only peeking out from around the edge to glare at Scootaloo.
“… Thanks again for doing this, Scootaloo,” Rainbow Dash said, stepping aside to let her in. Scootaloo proudly strode inside and looked around the room as if she’d never been inside it before. After finishing her fake inspection, she whirled around and faced Rainbow Dash.
“So, where’s the little ball of fun?”
“Right here,” Rainbow Dash said, dragging Taboo out of her hiding place. The closest she could get Taboo to Scootaloo was right up against her own foreleg, which Taboo grabbed and refused to let go. “Say hello to Scootaloo, Taboo.” Unsurprisingly, Taboo did no such thing. Not at all discouraged, Scootaloo got on Taboo’s level, which just made Taboo back off even more.
“Hi, I’m Scootaloo. It’s really cool to meet you, Taboo!” Even though she was genuinely excited to meet Taboo and smiling despite her desire to keep a straight face, her good vibes were not resonating with Taboo. The little filly just stuck out her tongue, but only briefly so her mother wouldn’t see. This was the moment Scootaloo first thought she might be in for an ordeal, but the thought only hung around for a second or two before Rainbow Dash called for her attention.
“She already ate, so you don’t need to worry about that. Make sure she’s in bed a little after sunset with her teeth brushed. I don’t want her having any snacks before bedtime, but she can have some juice or water if she gets thirsty. Sound good?”
“Yeah, sounds simple enough,” Scootaloo said, surprised at the rather short list of items Rainbow Dash had for her. It gave her a false impression of how complicated taking care of Taboo really was.
“And if anything happens you know where we are,” Rainbow Dash said, stressing this point the most. The last time she left Taboo with somepony else, something did happen. That something made her life a lot more complicated than before, so she’d rather avoid any life altering events tonight. “Don’t be afraid to come get us for any reason at all.”
“Pssht, you don’t have to worry.” Scootaloo got back down on Taboo’s level, who still wasn’t having any of it. “We’ll be just fine.” Before anypony could jinx themselves any further, there was another knock on the still open door.
“Anybody home?” Thunderhead said, chuckling at his own joke. Taboo instantly ran over and latched herself onto his front hoof. “Whoa, hey there kiddo.”
“Daddy, tell mommy that I’m coming with you tonight.”
Thunderhead looked up at Rainbow Dash, who managed to communicate to him all the strife she’d been through with just one peeved look. He figured Taboo might not take so well to them going out, but it was too late for them to back out now.
“Sorry, but it’s just me and mommy tonight,” Thunderhead said, patting Taboo on the head. “But I’ll tell you what, me and you can go out by ourselves one day and leave mommy with a sitter.”
“Don’t go!” Taboo wasn’t about to be swayed, but there wasn’t any time left to try and convince her. Thunderhead picked her up and gave her a kiss on the forehead and then set her down next to Scootaloo.
“We’ll be back this evening,” Rainbow Dash said to Scootaloo, sidling up to Thunderhead. She looked down at Taboo, who was refusing to look up at her backstabbing parents. “You two have fun while we’re gone, okay?”
“No problem,” Scootaloo said, saluting to the couple and seeing them out the door. “Don’t worry about a thing and just enjoy your night.”
“Thanks again, Scootaloo.” Rainbow Dash put her hoof on the doorknob and began to close it, but poked her head back in one last time. “Have fun, Taboo.” Taboo pretended not to hear her mommy as the door closed, finalizing her position as stuck with Scootaloo. Taboo turned sharply to look up at Scootaloo, who judging by the look the little filly’s face expected her to start crying.
“Aww, don’t worry. It’s okay,” Scootaloo said, reaching out a hoof to Taboo. Much to her surprise, the young filly ducked it. Taboo growled at her and then suddenly trotted off. She darted around the living room until she found Tank, who she promptly took up shelter behind. Tank, for his part, peeked out of his shell for a moment to see what was going on. Taboo scowled at Scootaloo over her reptilian battlements. “Don’t worry, Taboo. I’m not scary.” Scootaloo rose to approach Taboo, but that was a mistake.
“Don’t move!” Taboo shouted at her, daring to poke her head up from behind Tank to do so. Scootaloo stopped dead in her tracks, momentarily convinced that she was in some sort of danger. “You stay over there.” Taboo issued these orders then crouched back down to continue just scowling.
“W-why?” Scootaloo asked, completely and utterly at a loss. Taboo glanced away for a few seconds to think before rising to give an answer.
“You’re smelly!” That was all she said before ducking all the way down behind Tank. Scootaloo, who was completely unprepared for this level of directed hostility, became fully aware of what she was no doubt going to be in for the rest of the night.
Any mature pony would know that when dealing with an upset child that they must remain calm and remain the adult in the room. If one allows their emotions to take control, they aren’t any better than the child. A leveled an even response to bad behavior must be applied until the child willingly changes the problem behavior. All Scootaloo had to do was act her age, but that is not what happened.
“I don’t smell!” Scootaloo said as she dove headfirst to Taboo’s maturity level.
“Yes you do!” Taboo shouted back, not even putting forth the effort to look at her this time. “And you’re stupid!”
“I am not stupid!” Scootaloo could believe smelly, maybe. It was a bit of hard work to fly all the way up to the house so she might be a little sweaty, but she certainly wasn’t stupid*. “What do you know? You’re two years old.”
“You’re fat!”
“Now you’re just being petty.” The irony of her own statement did not strike Scootaloo.
“No I’m not!” Taboo shouted back, poking her head back up now that the gauntlet had been thrown down.
“Yes you are!”
“I can’t be because I don’t know what that is!” Taboo blew a raspberry at Scootaloo, who had apparently reached the end of her very short rope.
“Why you!” Scootaloo pounced on Taboo’s position, but the filly quickly scuttled out of the way and darted across the room. Scootaloo pursued her, starting a game of cat and mouse that was destined not to end well for her.
Coming to a restaurant on a normal date was just as bad of an idea as Rainbow Dash thought it was going to be from the get-go. On the surface, the place was perfect for a date. It had a quiet romantic atmosphere, delicious and beautifully presented food, and exquisite wine that the owner recommended and uncorked himself while explaining how celibate monks grew the grapes on the soft incline of a pristine mountain vineyard where the grapes received no more than six hours of sun a day and how at night the monks would sleep with the grapes in order to keep them from getting too cold while whispering encouraging words to them which is how the wine gets it’s mild, fruity aftertaste. It wasn’t the restaurant’s fault at all, but rather the two ponies who were in it.
Since their arrival, the pair had scarcely said two words to each other. The mood was pervaded by awkward silence that neither party was able to gap. Even with a modest amount of celibate mountain monk wine in their systems, there was a profound absence of social interaction. The worst part was, neither one could put a hoof on what it was. They were certainly enjoying eating out at this very fine establishment, but the pony poised at the other end of the table put them in a difficult position. With the meal concluded and the wine running low, something had to give.
“What’re we doing?” Thunderhead asked.
“… Drinking?” Rainbow Dash raised her half empty glass, trying her best not to confront what was going on. The look on Thunderhead’s face told her that he was serious, so she put the glass down. “I guess we’re not cut out for normal couple stuff.”
“No kidding.”
“Wow, way to jump right on board with that one,” Rainbow Dash said, turning on the stallion across the table.
“Let’s not kid ourselves, Rainbow Dash. We’re not exactly normal couple material. We came together under some pretty extraordinary circumstances.”
Rainbow Dash hated to admit it, but Thunderhead had a point. They came here under the pretense that they would have a normal romantic experience. Truth be told, they were probably past normal from go. Even so, there was something about all of it that didn’t sit well with Rainbow Dash.
“If it wasn’t for Taboo… do you think we would’ve ever ended up together?” she asked, perhaps slightly emboldened by wine and somewhat vulnerable in a different environment. “Because I don’t know how it would’ve worked out otherwise.”
“Maybe it would’ve happened, maybe not, but none of that is important.” Thunderhead scooted closer to Rainbow Dash so he could grab her hoof. “I love you, and I love Taboo. I didn’t get into this because I wanted a mare to eat fancy food with and drink wine with. If I was going to I would certainly do it with you, but this all started for me because I found a filly who needed protecting and a mare who stayed strong and defiant no matter what happened to her. I’ve built up an entire life around you two, and I wouldn’t give it up for all the magic in Equestria. Other ponies can have their fancy date and fancy dress kind of romance. It doesn’t suit me and it doesn’t suit you. We’ve got plenty of time to become normal and boring later.”
“Well,” Rainbow Dash said, chuckling as she put her other hoof on top of Thunderhead’s. “You’re awfully talkative all of a sudden… not that I’m complaining. You said a lot of nice things.”
“Yeah, it’s just… it’s just…”
“Wine?”
“Maybe… but, no,” Thunderhead still looked super serious, which Rainbow Dash wasn’t quite used to. It was making her heart pound a little faster. “I just feel like we’re wasting our time with this. Rainbow Dash, I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Then let’s get married.”
For a brief second, Rainbow Dash felt as if her chair had been pulled out from under her and she was falling very slowly. She just stared at Thunderhead, bug eyed and blushing profusely. Her brain was shocked right out of operation, leaving the whole show to her rapidly beating heart.
“W-wait! Is this the actual thing?” she asked, her voice cracking from the strain of not crying. “This isn’t a ‘down the road let’s get hitched’ kind of thing, but a ‘we should do this right now’ kind of thing?”
“I’m proposing to you.”
“Right now?”
“As we speak,” Thunderhead said, still smiling despite his own heart having picked up the pace quite a bit.
“B-but this is all wrong! You’re not doing it right!” Rainbow Dash said, not sure exactly why she was complaining. She wasn’t exactly sure of anything except for one certain fact. “Screw it! Yes! Let’s do it!” Rainbow Dash embraced her new fiancée, beaming straight across her face as teardrops welled up in the corner of her eyes. Ponies at nearby tables, who could’ve only missed the whole display if they were deaf and blind, applauded the pair.
“Nopony is going to let me live this down,” Rainbow Dash said, having regained enough of her composure to enjoy the humor of the situation.
“I expect we’re going to spend the rest of our lives not living this down. That okay with you?”
“Yeah, I think I can manage.”
The sound of Scootaloo’s quill scratching against parchment was amplified by how tight her quarters were while the only competing sound was her own breath. She wrote frantically, sweat dripping down onto the page as she went along. When she finished, she dropped her quill onto the ground and lifted the note to her face with shaky hooves. The swallowed back her resolve and read it aloud.
“My dearest Rainbow Dash, I’m afraid my campaign in this foreign land has come to an end. The enemy overpowered us too easily and too quickly. This is the hazard of war, I’m afraid. One day you’ll understand, but right now I just want you to know that I’m sorry that I failed you. If zeal for the cause and my love for you could win battles then there would’ve been no enemy that could’ve bested me. Alas, it seems it was that passion that led to my demise here today. If I could turn back time, there are so many things I would change. Oh, if only I could turn back time to see your face once again. Be happy in the life you lead, Rainbow Dash. Please, do not forget me or my sacrifice here today. Yours forever, Scootaloo.”
Somepony lifted off the cushion acting as the roof on Scootaloo’s tiny fort.
“Uh… whatcha got there, Scootaloo?” Rainbow Dash asked, smirking a little as she looked down at the bug-eyed pegasus.
“… Nothing.” Scootaloo hid the note behind her back seeing as she couldn’t eat it while Rainbow Dash was watching. “How was dinner?” she immediately asked, desperate to change the subject to something saner.
“Oh, I’d say it went pretty well,” Rainbow Dash said, looking back at Thunderhead and making eyes at him. Thunderhead made eyes back at her, the two sauntering up to each other to share an affectionate nuzzle. Scootaloo was glad they were so taken with each other, seeing as if they were objectively looking around the house they would surely notice it looked like a bomb had gone off. Tank sat overturned in the very epicenter of the explosion, his little tortoise legs flailing in the air. Cushions and pillows were strewn everywhere with blankets draped over furniture and large sections of the floor. Books formed makeshift blockades, most of which had been broken through. A bowl of fruit sat upset upon the coffee table.
“Where’s Taboo?” Thunderhead asked as he put his foreleg around Rainbow Dash’s shoulder.
“Uh, about that.” Scootaloo was starting to feel a bit hot under the collar. “She’s not in bed…”
“Obvioiusly,” Rainbow Dash said with a laugh. Scootaloo realized they did see the wanton destruction of the room, but they apparently didn’t care.
“Wow, your date must’ve been really good.”
Rainbow Dash and Thunderhead looked at each other and smiled.
“She’s around here somewhere,” Scootaloo said, hopping on out of her fort. “Hey, Taboo! Your parents are back!”
On the other end of the room, Taboo popped up from behind another makeshift fort with a pot on her head like a helmet. Taboo’s stuffed bear also popped up wearing a colander on its head. Taboo suspected that Scootaloo’s claim was just another plot to get her to go to bed, but one look proved that her so called foalsitter wasn’t lying.
“Mommy! Daddy!” Taboo abandoned her fort and comrade to embrace her parents. Judging from her enthusiasm, you would think she hadn’t seen them in months. “You came back!”
“Of course we came back, squirt,” Rainbow Dash said, reaching down to hug her close with Thunderhead. “And we’ve got a big announcement to make.”
“Are you finally getting married?” Taboo asked. Her perception stunned Rainbow Dash and Thunderhead.
“Uh… actually, yeah,” Rainbow Dash said, disappointed she’d been robbed of making the dramatic announcement to Taboo. There was still everypony else, but she’d been looking forward to surprising Taboo.
“No way! That’s so cool!” Scootaloo cheered before joining in on the group hug all of a sudden.
“Well, it’s about time!” Taboo let out a frustrated sigh and rolled her eyes, a mannerism that was so amusingly Rainbow Dash-ish that Thunderhead couldn’t help but snicker. “No laughing! We’ve got to get serious here! There is a lot of planning we need to do.”
“Okay, bossy,” Rainbow Dash said, mussing up Taboo’s mane. “But before we do that, somepony needs to clean up this mess.”
“It was all her!” Taboo pointed an accusing hoof at Scootaloo.
“What? You did most of this!” Scootaloo pointed right back at her. The conflict may have erupted anew if Thunderhead hadn’t spoken up.
“Doesn’t matter who made the mess because you both are going to help each other clean it up.”
There were complaints from both parties and stern looks from the adults in the room, but the house was eventually restored to its natural order. Scootaloo was sent home, but not before she got Rainbow Dash to promise that she was first her list of ponies to call when she needed a foalsitter. After that, Taboo insisted they go over wedding plans while her parents insisted she go to bed. A compromise was made wherein Rainbow Dash and Thunderhead stayed by her bed while she discussed her wild and imaginative plans until she got tired and fell asleep. As excited as she was, it didn’t take all that long once she’d lain down. After that, Rainbow Dash and Thunderhead retreated downstairs to speak more realistically.
“So…”
“So.”
Neither of them was exactly sure where to begin. This wasn’t planned at all, so even between the two of them they didn’t have a complete plan yet.
“Are you… going to live here, then?” Rainbow Dash asked. This issue was just one of many that she realized she now needed to discuss with Thunderhead.
“Even if you were allowed to, I don’t think living in the barracks is ideal,” Thunderhead said. “Speaking of the barracks, it probably doesn’t make any sense for me to be acting as a guard anymore. I’ll probably get a new assignment. Hope it isn’t too far from here.”
“Does that mean you won’t be nocturnal anymore?”
“Possibly,” Thunderhead said as he scratched his head. “I don’t really know. I can take it up with Luna directly when I get back in the morning.”
“Oh, the morning.” Rainbow Dash didn’t want to think of all that was going to happen when she announced her engagement to everypony tomorrow. With all the excitement, she could hardly figure out how she was going to sleep tonight. “This is gonna be a big hassle, isn’t it?”
“No kidding,” Thunderhead said, sharing in her stress. “Not to mention expensive.” Both parties suddenly realized there was a whole financial side to getting married. After some detailed math involving how much money they had along with the money they’d saved and some speculating about what they would want and need for a wedding minus what they felt comfortable asking their parents to help pay for, they came to an embarrassing conclusion.
“We might have enough money to have a modest wedding by this time next year,” Rainbow Dash said, slamming her head into the couch. “Why are we so poor?”
“Single mom and soldier aren’t exactly careers you get into for the money,” Thunderhead said, pointing out exactly what Rainbow Dash didn’t want to hear. She glared at him, letting him know he’d better have something useful to add on to the end of that. “Uh, look, since I won’t be needing room and board from the castle anymore I bet I’ll get a pay raise on my reassignment. I’ll be making more money.”
“Aaargh!” Rainbow Dash wanted to punch somepony, so she punched Thunderhead.
“You know we don’t really need a wedding,” Thunderhead told her. “We could just go to Town Hall and get it over with that way.”
“And disappoint Taboo?” Rainbow Dash brought up her main concern in all of this. After being at Roseluck’s, Fluttershy’s, and Rarity’s weddings the little filly had certain expectations about how a wedding should go. “No, we need to start making money.”
“Easier said than done.”
“-along with a bonus for a job well done, and one for completing your job as asked… and one just because I like you,” Luna said. Her steward stacked bits high as Thunderhead looked on in dumb amazement. “It’s not enough for a wedding, but it should certainly speed things up.”
“I’ll say. With all of this, we could easily get married before Hearth’s Warming!” Thunderhead almost felt guilty about accepting so much money, but it was only almost. The thought of how much it would cheer up Rainbow Dash made him totally okay with it. Besides, he had completed his special assignment from the Princess herself with flying colors. He welcomed a little pat on the back, as long as Luna didn’t arbitrarily raise his rank again.
“I’m also making you a second lieutenant.”
“What?!”
“It’s crucial I do so for you reassignment,” Luna said, her tone becoming more serious. “What? You thought your new salary came with another cushy watchdog task?”
“Well, no, but-”
“Good, then we’re on the same page.” Luna wouldn’t allow Thunderhead to get a word in edge-wise. “You’re going to take charge of a joint nighttime response team with an officer from a separate outfit. Half of your subordinates will be night guards while the other half will be from the other outfit. I’ve been searching for somepony to replace the pony I used to have in charge after he complained so many times to be transferred. Can I count on you to stick with it, lieutenant?”
“Yes, ma’am!” Thunderhead said, snapping into military mode in an instance. It looked like he was still going to be nocturnal for the time being, but the change in pace was certainly acceptable. A response team’s job was to make special patrols outside of the normal patrol grids and dispatch at a moment’s notice to emergencies when needed. Thunderhead heard it could be very fast paced, but that didn’t worry him too much. Nothing could be more fast paced than Rainbow Dash. His only curiosities were what this other outfit was and why the previous leader wanted to be transferred so badly.
“Then you’re dismissed. It’s way too early to discuss this any further.” Luna got up and headed out. Thunderhead turned to follow her, but a steward suddenly dropped two saddle bags in front of him.
“What are these?”
“Those are your belongings,” Luna said, still on her way out. “I sent somepony down to fetch them. No need to thank me.”
“You mean I’m moving out today?”
“More like right now.” The door creaked shut behind Luna, leaving Thunderhead alone with his baggage. He turned to the two stewards who were left, but they didn’t seem terribly interested in his plight.
“Um… can I get some help with these?” Thunderhead asked, stuck in an odd position. One of the stewards just shrugged and trotted off while the other plopped a sack full of Thunderhead’s bits next to his belongings before leaving. “… Thank you. Thanks… looks like it’s up to me to haul all of this to Ponyville by myself… in the early morning… when I should be asleep.”
“So I find him totally passed out in front of the house,” Rainbow Dash said, finishing up her story of all the insanity that had transpired since last night. Her friends just stared at her with their mouths dropped wide open, even Pinkie Pie. Even miles away, despite her not being present, Rarity felt a sudden twinge of shock. The library was completely quiet, save for the sound of Taboo flipping through a picture book somewhere upstairs.
“… You guys don’t do anything halfway, do you?” Twilight said after a sizeable pause.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Rainbow Dash smiled smugly and reclined in her chair. “So that’s what I did last night. What about you girls?” Everypony just looked around at one another, not exactly ready to take up the challenge of following up Rainbow Dash’s crazy story.
“Well, congratulations,” Applejack said, steering the topic back on track. “I’m real happy for you both.”
“Yeah! That’s super-duper awesome!” Pinkie Pie jumped up on the table and threw a hoofful of confetti onto Rainbow Dash. “I’m gonna throw you a huge engagement party! No, wait, better idea! I’m gonna throw you an enoooormous engagement party! Boom. Now who doesn’t do things halfway?”
“Thanks, but I’ll settle for just this, Pinkie Pie,” Rainbow Dash said, but Pinkie Pie was hardly phased. She could still just throw and enormous party for no reason at all. “Right now, I think I’d like to take things slow.”
“Rainbow Dash taking it slow, eh? Seems unlikely,” Applejack said.
“So Thunderhead has moved in with you?” Fluttershy asked. “How is that going to work since you two don’t… you know.”
“Not even an issue,” Rainbow Dash said, having already figured this out. “We don’t even sleep at the same time, so we can totally share a bed. The best part is that it’ll never get cold.”
“I guess I hadn’t thought of that.” Fluttershy put a hoof to her mouth to hide her sheepish smile. “But it is rather nice to sleep in the same bed as somepony… especially when there’s a storm.” Some things never change.
“If’n you don’t mind me sayin’,” Applejack started to say, clearly indicating whatever she was about to say was going to be something Rainbow Dash was going to mind. “I reckon y’all could go ahead and consummate your relationship. Yer practically married as it is and you already have a kid.”
“I have my reasons for doing what I do,” Rainbow Dash said, still refusing to budge on the issue.
“All I’m sayin’ is you’re gonna do it eventually.”
“Yeah, and it will happen eventually.” Rainbow Dash really didn’t want to discuss this any further; however, if her friends insisted on this topic she would gladly turn it right back on them. “You guys sure didn’t pressure Fluttershy this much.”
“I think the reason why goes without sayin’,” Applejack said, not wanting to observe the double-standard.
“And I’m… uhm… grateful for that…”
“And what about the three of you?” Rainbow Dash said, addressing the three mares who weren’t spoken for yet. “Any plans to even get into a relationship?”
“Okay, you’re the last pony who should be playin’ that card.” Applejack sure had a point, but she only brought it up because Rainbow Dash did have somewhat of a point herself. “And besides that, there ain’t anypony I’m interested in. It’d be nice if there was somepony interestin’ around, but there ain’t so that’s that.”
“Whatever,” Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes. “What about you, Twilight?”
“M-me?” Twilight began stammering and acting like nopony could possibly know why. “No, no plans or prospects. Just… waiting to bump into somepony!”
“Uuuh-huh.” Rainbow Dash turned to the last single pony at the table, who seemed the least likely candidate for a relationship due to her questionable level of maturity. “Do you even ever think about relationships, Pinkie?”
“Nope, not ever!” Pinkie admitted this rather freely. She truthfully lost no sleep over the subject and spent an uncountable few moments thinking about it while awake. “I’ve got all my friends to keep me company, so I really don’t ever think about having a super special friend like that!”
“I believe it.” Rainbow Dash could only remember one incident recently where it seemed like Pinkie Pie was even remotely interested in somepony like that, but the party pony denies the event even transpired in the first place. Thus, Pinkie Pie continued to be an enigma. “So you all don’t get to tell me how to run my relationship-slash-engagement.”
“Honestly, that was all Applejack,” Twilight said, pointing her hoof at the cowpony. “She was the only one pushing for it.”
“Now hold up!”
“You were the one nagging her about it.” Pinkie Pie joined in on throwing Applejack under the bus on this one. “I think whatever you and Thunderhead choose to do is super, Dashie!”
“Yeah, that’s how I feel,” Twilight said. “What you’ve chosen to do appears to be working just fine for you and Thunderhead, so I think it’s up to your discretion on how to proceed.”
“Aww, horseapples! Ya’ll sound like my brother!” Applejack said, leaning back into her chair and tipping her hat over her eyes. “Fine, whatever. Do what you want.”
“That’s all I wanted to hear,” Rainbow Dash said, satisfied with her victory today. There was still that one thing eating at her. “But what I want to do is hurry up and get married.”
“If you need money, we could always-” Rainbow Dash didn’t let Twilight finished.
“No, Thunderhead and I already decided to do this on our own,” Rainbow Dash said, standing firm on this point as well. “We know what our goal is, and now it’s just a matter of time and money. If it’s just this one time, let us be stubborn so we can say we did this on our own.”
“Fine, fine, but that means you don’t get to complain about waiting since you’re imposing it on yourselves,” Twilight said, pointing out exactly what Rainbow Dash didn’t want to hear.
“Okay, I get it.” Rainbow Dash sighed in defeat. She wanted to complain and she wanted to complain real bad. She wished she could just settle on the simplest, cheapest, and fastest path to matrimony, but then it wouldn’t be the way somepony was hoping for with all their heart. “Just gotta do it for Taboo.”
Thunderhead was on his first night of his new assignment. Beyond having to go through the struggle of relocating himself to Rainbow Dash’s house last morning, he miraculously managed not to hit any more bumps. Sleeping peacefully by himself in Rainbow Dash’s big comfy bed was a welcome change from the cramped barracks surrounded by other snoring stallions. Waking up at her house to a nice meal with his two favorite girls was an astronomically large step up from dragging himself into the cold mess hall for a subpar meal. When he had arrived on the job, Thunderhead was already feeling optimistic about the future.
The introduction to his subordinates went by rather quickly, but they appeared to be a capable lot of ponies who were ready to do work. He was respected, saluted, and his sergeants even called him “lieutenant” a couple of times. Thunderhead felt good being in charge, and he certainly thought he could get used to it. The officer he directly reported to was a nice gal as well, an older mare who told him she’d been overseeing and training patrol squads for twenty years. She spoke highly of Thunderhead’s position and offered her services if he ever needed anything.
Now that he was briefed, Thunderhead only had to report to the joint commanding officer, the pony who was running this whole show with him from another outfit. Thus far, Thunderhead couldn’t tell why anypony wouldn’t want this job. Maybe it got a little more hectic out in the field, but he figured that came with most jobs in the soldiering business.
Trotting down the castle’s hallways, he finally found where the other outfit was supposed to be waiting for him. He noticed two things were off about the door he was faced with. The first thing was the door was unmistakably among the barracks and belonged to some sleeping quarters. The second thing was that under the placard indicating the owners of the room the words “Please Observe Quiet” were written in large lettering where it would be clearly visible. Curious, Thunderhead knocked on the door.
There was a bit of shuffling behind the formerly dead quiet door. Thunderhead waited and waited, but nopony answered. He knocked again, and this time he was answered by a stallion hastily opening the door.
“Do you have any idea what time it is?” the bleary eyed pegasus asked, glaring at Thunderhead.
“Apologies,” Thunderhead said, noting that the pony he was addressing was still wearing his pajamas. “I’m looking for Lieutenant Soarin’. Is he… awake?”
“Yes, he is now. I’m Soarin’,” the pegasus replied. “Why? What? Is there an emergency?”
“No, I’m the new joint leader of our unit, Lieutenant Thunderhead.”
Soarin’ stared at him blankly, looking very displeased with being awoken.
“Is that all?” he asked, closing the door a little.
“Well, we’re about to go on patrol, and-”
“That’s great, but we don’t patrol with you guys,” Soarin’ said, surprising Thunderhead. Nopony had mentioned this to him. “Look, we’re Wonderbolts, not night guards like you guys. We’re still on sun time, so you come get us if you need us for an emergency.”
“… That’s all you’re here for?”
“That’s all.”
“That’s ridiculous!” Thunderhead could see why his predecessor got so upset now. “You’re telling me that your half of the unit stays here and sleeps while the rest of us go out and work?”
“That’s it,” Soarin’ said, smiling for the first time. “Pretty sweet deal, right?”
Thunderhead restrained himself from answering that question.
“Yeah, Wonderbolts have to be on call at all hours, but we don’t have the numbers or the reason to have a group exclusively operating at night,” Soarin’ explained. “Technically you guys are our representatives, going out and helping while we can’t. We’re only here to deploy of things get real dicey.”
“How dicey?” Thunderhead dared to ask.
“Like… crisis level dicey.”
“Wouldn’t an emergency of that level merit a full response from the Wonderbolt’s Headquarters at any hour anyway?” Thunderhead got a nod of confirmation after Soarin’ pondered the question for a few seconds. “Then what’s the point of you being here?”
“Uh... hmm.” Soarin’ started thinking and thinking. Thunderhead had to wait a whole minute and a half before he got an answer. “Extra barrack space?”
“… Go back to sleep, lieutenant.”
Soarin’ didn’t argue with Thunderhead on that point. He just saluted and closed the door as quietly as he could. Thunderhead turned around and went back to his half of the team, which he now knew was the only half that mattered. Even though he was pretty now that the only reason his job existed is because Luna wanted some kind of command over the Wonderbolts somehow and came up with this nutty idea. He ground his teeth and muttered curses to himself, but before he reached his destination he heaved a sigh and told himself the only thing he needed to hear for motivation.
“Just… do it for Taboo.”