- Member Since 25th Apr, 2012
- offline last seen Apr 4th, 2018
Hooves Like Jagger
The thought "Oh no, not this guy again," given human form.
Hooves Like Jagger
Joined 25th Apr, 2012 ·
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It sounds like Celestia is using the Royal Canterlot Voice in the first paragraph, because “reverberating” might be too strong a word.
Luna suddenly speaking came as a surprise. Maybe find a way to point out both princesses were there before that.
"Twilight said something about ponies with wings like hers with you, Luna.” Maybe make that more clear by saying working for you or something
Rainbow flying to her house after breakfast took less than a paragraph. I know she’s fast, but dang.
Fluttershy’s talking to RD and says the foal was found in Ponyville. I thought it was the forest, so perhaps say near Ponyville.
The ending doesn’t leave us asking, “And then what happened?” RD just keeps feeding Taboo. Maybe write a bit about the two of them preparing to go into town.
Other than that, no serious problems. No spelling/grammar errors to note. Maybe if you could find a way to make the description shorter so readers don’t have to click “more”
1382609
Yeah, I'm planning to have the chapter extend quite a bit further. I haven't reworked the description for a while, but I did happen to read it before I sent it off and I thought it could use some work too. Thanks for the input. I think this version will see the light of day once it's done.
"My sincerest apologies, Rainbow Dash, but I am afraid I cannot help you in that regard. My servants, the Fellwings, are transformed by magic so they may appear as they do. Never in years past have I even heard of a pony to appear as they do Two instances of "as they do" in two sentences
"I don't know if everyone with show up, Pinkie," she said. Pinkie Pie considered that for a second, but dismissed it as nonsense. She hoisted Taboo up to eye level with Rainbow Dash.
Why are the Cakes so casual but the rest of Ponyville hates her? What makes them different?
"Nonononono! She was just repeating what Pinkie said! She doesn't think I'm her-" Rainbow Dash was cut off by Taboo grabbing her cheeks face between her hooves That last sentence is a little weird and unclear
Like the new art and description.
You leave your faithful (and rather bored) editor out in the cold? For shame
I'll get reading this. Looks interesting
D'awww, Taboo is so adorable. I need more adorableness NOW!
good story. But I don't think Dash asking for Celestia to confirm what Luna said as true would be a good idea. If you needed for her to say something to Celestia maybe she could ask if she'd seen anything like that in the thousand years Luna was gone, or if it was possible someone had cast the Fellwings spell on a foal.
very good thus far. Is made of D'aw and Win.
another story for me to track and keep me up late into the night when I read the newest update....yay!
Dashie has such a adorable soft side and Taboo is too damn cute
I love it so far but... MOAR
Very nice. I like little Taboo.
Dawwww. Take my Upthumb. My Fav. And all my track. :P
Interesting... This'll be going on my Read Later list for sure.
I like this. I hope you continue with it
Very interesting start, I will definitely be looking forward to more.
One thing that bugged me a bit was Dash getting kicked off of the Ponyville weather patrol, I'm not sure it makes sense that it would stick. The show appears to indicate that she is in some position of authority based on her role in the Tornado Day episode, and her leadership position in running the winter wrap up weather team seems to support it. Surely it would take someone in authority above her (maybe a head manager, maybe the mayor, maybe someone in Cloudsdale) to make the decision to fire her, and if that's the case Celestia (or someone appropriate in the her civil service) ought to be able to bring the hammer down hard on what's basically discrimination. I suppose the weather service could be an entirely private industry, but that seems pretty unlikely to me.
I would recommend you add a couple more tags and include this in some groups to increase your view count. This is a much better story then it's getting credit for.
D'aaaaaaaaaw!
I'll be following this story for sure!
You know out of all your stories I think that Taboo is the most well developed, I hope you continue this or.... she will be pissed
1525502
Why does everyone think I'm not writing this no more?
Sorry, I just want moar :P 1526097
1528121
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/328/813/8d6.jpg
Ah'll do et, Ah'll do et. Gotta git all this stuff done before November comes to call!
Hehe
This was fascinating, I like how its played out so far. I would like to see more of this in the near future
Maternal Rainbow Dash is best Rainbow Dash. (because it fits her element so well)
This is a great story so far. don't give up on this story.
Septic Cloud
I'm going to have to borrow some of these nonbiological parent-child story ideas.
Except I'm writing a cracfic.
I think my heart exploded
, good work my good man/woman
The Dawws. Damn racist ponies.
I see this SO MUCH... argh.
You use "leer" where you mean "glare."
A "GLARE" is an angry look.
A "LEER" is a SLEAZY look.
Heh. interesting twist having Applejack's parents as pony-version NASCAR racers. I like it, and am conspiring to steal your idea.
"Mommy."
Ker POW. there it went, my heart.
yeah, just throwing this out there, The reason the crib is used is because if the child sleeps in the mother's arms, there's a high chance of her squishing the child, preventing it from breathing, and thus killing it.
1736296
... You mean like this? *smothers*
Just let the d'aww happen.
Yay! I am really glad that you updated this!!!!
FINALLY! + MOAR
, also this is one of the most under appreciated stories I have seen so far, it is a shame.
An update! Yay!
Good God, that chapter hit me right in the feels and my heart my have exploded. Please, please don't make it another two months before a chapter comes out.
Wow, this is really well-written and interesting. Faved and watched.
Interesting Ma & Pa Apple backstory.
I I DIED IN HAPPNESS
Why is this cancelled? It's wonderful
All right! A new chapter!
Like any other pegasus, she must be registered with the local Air Traffic Office when she is able to fly. The Cloudsdale Flight Security Committee must also have up-to-date health information on her before she flies between any two Equestrian cities. She can also get a Weather Manipulation License from either your local Weather Patrol or from Cloudsdale Central Weather Supply once she is old enough and if she wants to.
Okay, see, I got an issue with this.
This is the equivalent of needing a WALKING LICENSE. And not even communist dictatorships are meddling and tyrannical as that.
Are you trying to write Equestria as a choke-hold tyranny? If not, get rid of this.
I think we as individuals have gotten way too used to asking big daddy bureaucracy if we can go wee-wee.... and thinking that it is perfectly natural for everyone to have to do so!
D'awwwww!
Nice to see this still alive. I'm a sucker for the main characters with babies fics.
Phew, finally an update. And a very good chapter indeed! MOAR!
... Please?
2213533 it's not cancelled
it just updated
D'AAAWWW! I'm snesibg there's probably gonna be a relationship between thunderhead and RD. if I'm wrong you have permission to hit me
2353927 Well....
I think their might a touch of misunderstanding in your interpretation of that, 
I'm going to address the paragraph in portions and hopefully the new look will be something you find more agreeable.
Like any other pegasus, she must be registered with the local Air Traffic Office when she is able to fly. I'm assuming they aren't referring to low altitude town level flight, but this part is the only part of the whole thing I kinda agree on being excessive.
The Cloudsdale Flight Security Committee must also have up-to-date health information on her before she flies between any two Equestrian cities. This makes perfect sense. Pegasi have the most mobility of the ponies, and tend to enjoy travelling LONG distances via flight, either as recreation or for employment.
Registering with this office would essentially ensure that medical officials everywhere will have her files on hand incase of say, a crash or freak lightning strike etc etc. 
She can also get a Weather Manipulation License from either your local Weather Patrol or from Cloudsdale Central Weather Supply once she is old enough and if she wants to. This is easily understandable to me.
No one's gonna care about a personal nap cloud being moved around or something like a pony sized thunderhead to water a garden, but considering how drastically dependent Equestria is on Pegasi controlled weather to maintain it's ecosystem, it would make sense that a pony being able to just make sudden thunderstorms or clearing them could wreck weeks if not months of ecological planning 
. A license for weather manipulation would imply large scale manipulation, and to have such a license would require education and proof that the licensed pegasus knows the ramifications and the workings of large scale weather well enough to not make something that gets out of hand or to be able to help form/disperse official weather.
Imagine if any pegasus who wanted to help tried to form a thunderhead for a large scale storm. All it takes is one wrong up or down draft to change the whole thing from strong rain to monsoon with hurricane winds
Don't get me wrong, I'm not voicing against your opinion on other matters, I just felt that what the author wrote made sense to me for the most part and I felt that sharing how I saw might help you to understand what the author probably meant as well
. granted, I could be just as wrong 
2353927 I think the author is referring to the flight license we have in our world here. (That don't automatically make it a good idea.) And if I agree with you that how it is in this story is bad.
But I think it can make sens that they need a license to do commercial flight, which include mail delivery, pulling a chariot with passengers, supply shipping & any other service you can sell.
2355665
First rule of tyranny: Terrible laws always make perfect sense.
To someone. Somewhere. At some time. And the more people you can mentally massage into agreeing with you, the more 'perfect sense' those terrible laws make. (that's why America has a Constitution: to put certain laws--- like the Bill of Rights, the Emancipation Proclamation, etc.--- out of the reach of 'perfectly sensible' sounding people.)
Let's consider this from the perspective of human terminology. Suppose you had to register with a government office before you could walk anywhere. Suppose you had to provide your complete medical transcripts--- private, personal information-- to a government office merely to travel from one city to another. In case of accidents, of course. It's so perfectly sensible, you almost overlook the "MUST SUBMIT" part of that law, or the fact it's a gross invasion of privacy.
The little bit at the end about needing a license to haul a carriage, or to cloud-kick --- well, nice little addendum tacked on the end there. It glosses over the fact that the pegasi seem largely coerced by government to do weather work anyway (hurricane fluttershy, winter wrap up)... A common feature in totalitarianism: Force them to do something, and then make them beg for the privilege to be forced to do it. (Now that sounds IRrational, doesn't it? Not really: it's the oldest gambit in totalitarian states: to layer on law after self-contradictory law, until the enforcement of the law is entirely up to the interpretation of the authority in charge. That way you can punish them either way, at your whim, because either course of action is criminal.)
And hauling a carriage? "reasonable" safety precaution, but it insures that they must have the government's permission to earn a living with their most advantageous ability. Outside of weather bucking, of course. With the government's permission. If you've earned the 'legal right' to fly in the first place. And a bureaucrat with a bug up his arse hasn't denied your license to travel on the grounds that he doesn't like your face.
2355963 first of all , relax
you starting to come across as a touch Pinkamena here. 
Now, yes, you bring up some good points, but if I'm not mistaken the "Cloudsdale Flight Security Committee" isn't exactly government, again, not sure given that it's mentioned in a fanwork mind you.
Now, Pegasi generally speaking if the show is anythign to go by, used to have a very militaristic culture before the unification, so it makes sense for some of that to carry over in how they handle things, Second, It's pretty much flat out said that Weather outside Everfree HAS to be handled by pegasi of it runs amok in a way That is NOT at all liek our worlds weather, thus leading to a self wrecking ecosystem. Would you trust someone with no training or proof of training to fly a jumbo jet you're a passenger on? NO, you'd want a licenses, trained pilot who has proof that he knows what he's doing. Same thing for Weather license in this case.
As an additional point, please keep your reply tied to the context of this story. If you cannot do this, I don't care to continue the discussion as I do enough of that when I'm busy dealing with the rest of my hallucinations and reality
2356085
Not trying to drag you down or bum you out. It's a good story, I'm enjoying it. But my motivation for expounding on the issue is summed up in two words: Culture matters. A society's value is spelled out in its idle pastimes and entertainment; it's there where you see what beliefs, attitudes, etc. are unconsciously held by it's people. And it distresses me to no end to see how much the "your papers, citizen" attitude is marinated into our own, and how it comes out in our 'trivial' pastimes.
And poor thinking and unconscious biases are never corrected until we're made aware of them. There's nothing more dangerous than attitudes and beliefs held thoughtlessly. As a thinking individual I feel morally and ethically obligated to point it out when people, no matter how benign the circumstances, are saying things without thinking. It's as automatic for me as pointing out "Your" vs "you're," or casually correcting someone's pronunciation or spelling. The purpose is not to rant or rave, but to politely correct (though I will not deny ranting and raving from time to time. I'm only human.)