It was dark. Utterly black. The thick odor of burnt metal hung in the air. My mouth tasted like copper. I could hear a faint ticking sound. As if there was a clock nearby.
Something was wrong. I couldn't move. My limbs refused to budge. No matter how hard I willed them to. I couldn't shift my head either.
I strained my ears. No sound, except for that ticking.
Where's it coming from?
“Is anyone there?” I called out. Tried to. No noise came from my mouth. My jaw didn't move.
The ticking got louder. Closer.
Suddenly, there was light. Bright white light. Too bright. The glare kept me from seeing anything. I was just as blind as before.
I tried to shut my eyes. To block out the light. My eyelids didn't move.
The ticking got even louder. Even closer.
A shadow in the light. A silhouette. It was fuzzy. Indistinct.
“Who are you?” I tried to ask. My lips remained motionless.
The shadow didn't respond. It got closer. Too close.
Fear gripped me. I tried to move. To get away. It was useless.
The ticking pounded in my ears. The smell got stronger.
The shadow reached out a hand to me. A bunch of bones. Fleshless fingers. No skin or muscles.
I couldn't move.
The hand grabbed me. Dead fingers dug into my skull. My head tilted downward.
My body wasn't there. A skeleton of gears. Sprockets. Cogs. Chains. All moving. All clicking. All ticking. Loudly.
I tried to break free. To get away. Away from the hand. Away from the machinery. I kicked. I twisted. I flailed. I fought hard. But I couldn't move. I was helpless.
The thunderous ticking drowned out my silent screams.
A sharp stab of pain.
“Ah! Son of a bitch!” I shouted as I grabbed the top of my head. My hair was sticky with fresh sweat.
“Cog!”
“Are you alright?”
“What's goin' on?”
Still rubbing my scalp and the lump that was forming on it, I cracked my eyes open. The mares were all looking at me with concern. The world swayed and pitched gently beneath me. The throaty chugging of the train's engine and the clanging of its wheels on the track reminded me of where I was.
“What just happened?” I asked while I raised myself into a sitting position and looked from one worried face to the next. Even the conductor pony was curiously peeking into the passenger compartment through the window in the far door.
“You tell us,” Applejack said. “One minute ever'thin' was quiet, th' next ya started thrashin' 'round an' screamin' bloody murder.”
“Di-did you have another bad dream?” Fluttershy asked softly.
“Uh...yeah. Yeah, you could say that,” I muttered as my mind shook off the last traces of sleep. I noticed that my hooves were shaking badly. It was difficult to tell if it was from nerves or just my body demanding a cigarette. Probably a combination of both.
Rainbow Dash mumbled something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like “wussy” and sat back on her bench. That was more than a little annoying, but I choked down the temptation to confront her about it.
Twilight shot an disapproving glance in Rainbow's direction, then turned back to me. “Are you okay? It sounded pretty intense. And you hit your head on the table really hard.”
“I'm alright,” I insisted with a little more force than I'd intended. Judging by their faces, they weren't buying it.
Rarity slid into the bench across from me and seated herself next to Fluttershy. She looked me right in the eye with a gaze that was firm but not unkind. “Is there something bothering you?” she asked gently.
“No.” I somehow managed to tell a hundred lies with that one word.
Aside from a quick twitch in her ear, Rarity's expression didn't change at all. “Cog, we're your friends. We want to help you. You can tell us anything.”
“There's nothing to tell!” I snarled. “I just had a fucking nightmare, that's all!”
“Oooh, was it a scary nightmare?” Pinkie Pie asked cheerfully. “You know what always makes me feel better after I have a scary nightmare? Cupcakes! I think I still have a few in my bag.”
“I'll pass,” I growled and turned to look out the window so that I didn't have to see the ponies anymore. In the glass' reflection, I could faintly see them all exchanging glances. I tried to ignore both them and my trembling hooves. Instead, I focused on the scenery that our train passed by.
The position of the sun revealed that it was mid-afternoon. The barren desert was gone, and in its place were rolling hills covered in lush green grass and wildflowers. Several fluffy clouds hung in the bright azure sky. A few dense copses of trees dotted the landscape, and their few remaining leaves added splotches of dark red and bright yellow to the landscape.
Despite the cheery view, my stomach twisted uncomfortably. I hadn't meant to snap at them all like that, and the guilt from blowing them off so callously felt like a rock in my gut. A very spiky rock that had been trapped in a glacier for ten thousand years.
Dammit, not again, I thought with an inward groan. I sighed heavily and turned back around.
“Sorry about that. Look, I get that you're worried and all. But there's nothing to be concerned about, alright? I'm okay.”
“If you say so,” Rarity said, a trace of disappointment in her voice. “But if there ever is anything that you feel the need to talk about, you can always confide in us.”
I felt something tug inwardly on the top of my sternum. That apology didn't make me feel much better—it was still a lie, after all—but I suppose that a miniscule improvement is better than none at all.
It's a start, at least, I thought to myself.
My thinking was cut short by the appearance of a large cupcake on the table in front of me. It was topped with a small mountain of whipped pink icing and decorated with scores of colorful sprinkles.
Pinkie pushed the pastry toward me with an expectant smile. Then nudged it a little further. And once more.
I sighed again. “You're still feeding me.”
“Well, ya could stand ta put on a few pounds, if ya don' mind me sayin' so,” Applejack drawled.
I actually did mind her saying so, but decided against mentioning it. Instead, I concentrated on slowly eating the cupcake. I deliberately took my time so as to prevent them from talking to me again and asking any more questions.
Over the next few minutes, the mares began their own quiet conversations and left me out of them. That suited me just fine. It gave me a chance to contemplate my own thoughts, such as they were.
* * * * *
It was another few hours before the train pulled into Canterlot's station. There were quite a few other trains arriving and departing on dozens of rails, and nearly a hundred ponies in sight. They got on trains, got off trains, moved luggage around, or stood off to the side to idly chat with each other.
I noticed that the vast majority of the ponies were unicorns, and many of them were dressed even more lavishly than the Manehattanites. Gem-embroidered gowns and expertly tailored coats seemed to be the most common garments, and quite a few of the ponies were wearing expensive shoes. The light sparkled on gemstones, monocles, and polished golden jewelery. Fancy, feather-capped hats seemed to be in style as well.
I stretched my legs as our train rolled to a stop. My joints popped softly, but there was no pain in them. I arched my back experimentally. I felt some residual soreness there, but far less than I had expected. Even my chest wound wasn't bothering me too badly.
“How are you feeling?” Twilight asked as she got to her hooves.
“Not bad, actually,” I replied while I stood as well. My whole body felt a lot better than it had the night before.
She nodded, satisfied. “Good, the bandages are working. They're enchanted to help you heal faster and keep most of the pain away. We should be able to take them off in a few days.”
“That soon?” I asked, surprised. “I thought you said I was in really bad shape.”
“I did, and you were. Isn't magic great?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Rainbow Dash interrupted as she flapped her wings to get airborne. “Magic shmagic, let's go see the Princess already.”
Getting off the train and onto the platform was easy. Picking our way through the crowd and around the numerous obstacles was a bit more difficult, but we still managed it. My legs gave me very little trouble.
As we walked on, I felt a lot of eyes watching me. I glanced around and noticed a large portion of the ponies present were staring at me, and a few even craned their necks at uncomfortable-looking angles to get a better look. Some muttered to each other under their breath and one or two snickered nastily.
For a few moments, I was left wondering if I had somehow grown a second head without noticing, but then my brain caught up and reminded me that my bandages made me sick out. Pro tip: bloodstains are only fashionable for a few special days per year. Fortunately, we managed to leave swiftly and without incident.
Canterlot's streets were somewhat less crowded. The ponies outside were clothed just as fancily as their counterparts in the station. Most of them walked with their eyes closed (for some reason) and their noses in the air (for some other reason). Some of the unicorns who actually looked where they were going noticed my bandages and stared, but I chose to ignore them all and instead took an interest in the surrounding buildings.
Most of the structures were made of white marble and a large portion of them were topped with decorative caps. Gilded balconies and external staircases were common, and the numerous vaulted glass windows reflected the last beams of sunlight.
But the baffling thing about them was the walls. They all leaned at odd angles and bulged outward in absurd curves that left me scratching my head. It made the buildings look like they had been ripped right out of a fairy tale (Imagine that!). I simply couldn't fathom what kind of architect would have thought that it was a good idea to make them like that, and it continued to puzzle me during the entire walk to the castle.
“We're here to see Princess Celestia,” Twilight said, which snapped me back to the present. She was addressing two white pegasi stallions in gold armor, who stood guard on either side of a pair of large ivory doors. Both of them wore stern expressions.
The guard on the left nodded wordlessly and pushed the door open with a hoof. The hinges gave a quiet squeak as they turned. The seven of us all stepped inside quickly as the pegasis returned to his post.
I could feel the guards' eyes on me as I passed them. That was really starting to get on my nerves, and I wondered just how long it would be before I could take the damn bandages off and stop the unwanted attention. Even a few days seemed too long.
Again, I put my thoughts on hold and paid attention to my surroundings. We were standing in a long corridor that had numerous side passages branching off and leading to God-knows-where. The white walls were adorned with silk tapestries and paintings of fancy-looking ponies. Occasionally, a small recess in the wall held a vase of flowers or a small bust statue.
“Come on,” Twilight said unnecessarily and we all made our way down the hallway. Four sets of hooves clopped on the marble floor, two pairs of wings flapped in the air, and Pinkie Pie bounced merrily from one tile to the next without a care in the world.
At the end of the corridor was another set of doors, which were guarded by armored unicorns. They didn't even wait for Twilight to announce our reason for being there before making their horns and the doors glow with magic.
The big doors swung open and we all filed inside. A rich scarlet carpet extended across the throne room's floor and up the steps of the raised dais to gilded royal throne. Elegant stained glass windows turned the dying sunlight into a plethora of different colors that spilled across the floor.
On the seat of power sat none other than the Princess of the Sun herself. Unlike the other ponies that I'd come across, Celestia looked exactly the same as I remembered her. Her multicolored mane still fluttered in nonexistent wind, her glossy white coat shone, her dove-like wings and pointy horn were primped to perfection. Her golden shoes, chestpiece, and crown were prodigiously polished and sparkled in the light.
She was reading a floating scroll of paper, but looked up as we approached her throne. Her single visible eye swept over us cursorily, then abruptly snapped right back to me. I could feel that weird sensation again, like she was looking right through my skin and into my bones, and her eyebrow shot upward.
Oh shit, I thought as my gut clenched with panic. She knows who I am.
“Princess Celestia,” Twilight said humbly as she and the others bowed low. “We came as quickly as we could.”
“I...see,” Celestia said with a frown, never taking her eye off me. “Is this the stallion that you mentioned in your letter?”
“Yes, that's me,” I said quickly. “My name's Cog, and I'm a tinker from Fillydelphia.” Please just go along with it, please just go along with it, I feverishly thought as I struggled to keep myself calm and hoped that the others didn't notice anything odd.
I couldn't tell if she read my mind or if she just decided to not pursue the matter any further. Either way, the Princess gave me a long, hard look before turning her attention to Twilight.
“Erm...while we're on the subject of your letter, we need to discuss the spell that you used to send it yesterday.” There was a nearly-imperceptible trace of harshness in her tone.
Twilight flinched. “Oh...that. I've been having problems getting it to work properly. It's just...I've just gotten so used to having Spike send them...” Her voice faded away for a moment and her eyes unfocused, but she snapped out of her reverie a second later. “Did...did it come out your nose? That's what happened to Rarity and me.”
Celestia shook her head. “No. It ended up in a...a rather more sensitive area.”
A few uncomfortable seconds passed before Applejack spoke up. “Uh, beg pardon, Princess, but what 'xactly did ya wanna see us fer?”
Celestia cleared her throat and shuffled her wings. “Well, I extracted the letter and read it—” (Twilight winced again) “—and I have to say that your theory is...troubling. Are you certain that Discord's hint means that he hid a message on the moon?”
“I'm afraid so, Princess,” Twilight said. “That's what Cog thinks, anyway, and he was able to lead us right to the other two.”
Celestia frowned even deeper. “I suppose that would be just like Discord. He's always had a gift for making things more difficult than they have to be.”
“Well, I prefer to think of it as making things more interesting,” came an echoing voice that grated on my nerves.
“Discord! Show yourself!” the Princess shouted as she stood up. Her uneasy demeanor turned to outright anger and she cast her gaze around, searching for the enemy. The rest of us were looking around for him too, but he was nowhere to be seen.
“Over here,” said his voice off to my right.
A long tapestry showing three pegasi moving a cloud rippled and tore itself from the wall. The fabric twisted and stretched and the treads changed their hues. After a few seconds of contortion, the tapestry stopped its transformation in the shape and colors of my least-favorite draconequus.
The newly-formed Discord flashed us all a wide grin. “Hello, Celestia. So nice to see you again. Say, is that your horn or are you just happy to see me?”
“Remove your foul taint from my palace this instant!” the Princess shouted. Her voice made my ears ring.
Discord snickered. “Heheheheh. Heh. You said 'taint'!”
Celestia bared her teeth in a feral snarl. She pointed her horn at him menacingly, and the glow of magical energy shimmered along its length. “Leave now, or I'll send you to the sun!”
“Oh, so you're going to skip the Elements of Harmony and just kill me this time?” he retorted with a snort of amusement. “Some benevolent ruler you are. Go ahead, see if I care.”
He paused and spun his hands around in a circle. A big red-and-white bullseye target materialized over his torso. He puffed out his chest and looked directly at the Princess with the most taunting grin I've ever seen.
“Hit me with your best shot, Celestia! Smite me, O mighty smiter! Well, what are you waiting for?”
The Princess' eye burned with hatred and her mouth was twisted in a furious scowl. The magical aura sputtered and multicolored sparks flew out in random directions. I fully expected her to pick Discord up and launch him right through the ceiling.
Then her horn abruptly stopped glowing. She ground her teeth together and stamped a hoof in frustration. The stone under her horseshoe split with a loud crack.
The draconequus smirked in triumph. “Can't bring yourself to do it, can you? I knew you still cared.”
“What are you doing here, Discord?” Twilight asked venomously. She looked nearly as angry as Celestia.
“Oh, I just want to be clear about what's waiting for you on the moon,” he said cheerfully as he took the target off his chest and threw it away like a frisbee. There was a crash of breaking glass as it flew out of sight. “Of course, that's assuming that you can even get there. My dearest Princess Celestia wouldn't dream of sending any of the bearers of the Elements to her rebellious sister's domain. Nightmare Moon would just love such an opportunity to kill you off.”
“What?” Pinkie Pie asked. “Why would she do that? Did somepony put her in a bad mood?”
“I suppose you could say that. Or you could say that she's grown tired of biding her time and has decided to try to take over the land again.”
“Silence!” Celestia snarled. “I won't have you speak such lies about Luna!”
“Oh, but are they lies?” he taunted slyly. “She hasn't responded to any of your letters. She returns to Equestria every Nightmare Night, but she never comes to see you. Do you really think that she's just sitting in some crater and looking at the stars? No, she's planning her next coup and has been mingling with the commonponies so that they'll accept her as their new leader after she overthrows you.”
“She would never do such a thing!” the Princess insisted.
“Yeah, what she said!” Rainbow Dash agreed heatedly. “We've met Luna, and she's not gonna try to start a rebellion!”
“Of course she is!” Discord said with a trace of exasperation. “She already has once before. But if you don't believe me, why don't you go ask her yourselves?”
With a throaty chuckle, he bent down and traced a single eagle talon in a circle around his feet. The floor fell away and he sank out of sight into the resulting dark hole. The missing circle of floor shot back into place with a sharp metallic clink, leaving no trace of Discord's presence or departure.
“Just him trying to confuse us,” Twilight said dismissively after he was gone. “There's no way that Luna would ever turn against us again. Right, Princess?”
Celestia nodded, but she looked distracted. “O-of course not. Things may be...” Her voice trailed off and she gave her head a small shake. “Forgive me, but that interruption has made me lose my concentration. In any case, the day is late and I am sure that you are all tired. It would be better to continue with this...discussion in the morning. One of my guards will escort you to the guest quarters, and I will make sure that some food is brought to your rooms.”
I was surprised by the sudden dismissal. So were the others, but her tone offered no chance for argument or further explanation.
* * * * *
After an exhausting walk down a long hallway—that thing was seriously way too long—the armored pegasus who had been assigned to lead us stopped in front of a collection of fancy doors. I didn't hesitate to get inside my room as soon as he pointed out which one I should take.
While the guard appointed other rooms to the mares, I slid my door closed. With a low click, the latch closed. I breathed a deep sigh of relief.
Finally alone, I thought as I took a quick look around the room. Then I had to look at it again to make sure that I wasn't seeing things.
Through pure chance, our armored escort had led me to the very same room that I had slept in during my previous stay in the castle.
It looked exactly how I remembered it. There was that round bed that I had woken up in. The walls were that same shade of sky-blue and the painted yellow sun was still in the middle of the ceiling. There was the long window through which a bunch of pegasi paparazzi had snapped pictures of me while I was still naked and disoriented. It was kind of funny, in retrospect. The nostalgia brought a small smile to my lips.
Then my gaze landed on the teak wardrobe. I curiously trotted over and pulled it open with my teeth. The hinge squeaked loudly.
It looked like nopony had touched anything during the years. Several outfits of various degrees of formality—each tailored to fit a six-foot human—were hanging in there, just waiting to be dusted off and worn. It didn't look like they had been damaged by moths and none of the colors had faded with time.
At present, however, they were all the wrong shape and far too big for me. For the first time, it occurred to me just how small I really was in my pony body. The realization was fairly disconcerting, and I tried to put it out of my mind.
On a whim, I checked the far corner of the wardrobe. Just as I'd suspected, the spiky black bondage harness was still there, complete with gag ball. If anything, it looked even more disturbing than the fist time I'd seen it.
Seriously, why is this thing even here? I wondered.
I was still trying to figure it out when the first cramp struck.
With a moan, I slumped to the floor and hugged my stomach. It felt like a claw had punched right into my gut and was squeezing my intestines. My rear legs' muscles shook and spasmed uncontrollably. The wounds on my back and chest flared up. Breathing was difficult. I was forced to take shallow breaths, desperately sucking in the air in ragged gasps.
“Fffuuuck,” I hissed to nobody in particular. Drops of sweat beaded all over my body and rolled down my neck.
After a minute or two of agony, the pain faded away. As I relaxed my muscles and uncurled my legs, I coughed several times. A few drops of dark blood landed nearby on the floor.
I gingerly got to my feet and wiped the my mouth clean. My hoof trembled worse than ever.
It didn't take long to figure out what had happened. Over the years, I've received many booklets in the mail that were meant to educate me on how to quit smoking. Wedged between the nauseatingly cheerful slogans (“Breathe free today!”, “Begin your journey to better health now!”, “Leave my air alone, asshole!”, etc.) were small pieces of information that could actually be useful, including possible withdrawal symptoms. These include headaches, nausea, anxiety, insomnia, depression, difficulty breathing (the irony amused me), fatigue, and, of course, cramps.
Christ, I thought with a groan. Like I don't have enough problems already. Now I gotta put up with this shit too?
I turned my head and spotted the full-length mirror on the wall. That was another thing that hadn't changed in three/five years. I couldn't say the same about my reflection.
The pony in the mirror was a mess. He was covered in bloodstained bandages and poultices from neck to stud stamp, but his ribs still managed to stand out. The parts of his gray goat that weren't covered in linen were matted with sweat and dust. His black mane and tail were badly tangled and knotted. The feathers in his hair were the only part that didn't seem to be battered and worn out.
Damn, I look like hell.
After a few moments of reflecting with my reflection, I stepped into the attached bathroom. The white bathtub suddenly looked extremely appealing, and I pondered if the bandages were waterproof.
Probably not, I thought sadly. I had a mental image of the enchantment shorting out in the water and shocking me to death. That would earn me an interesting inscription for my tombstone.
HERE LIES COG
WHAT A NOOB
But even if that didn't happen, it was entirely possible that soaking the bandages would make the magic stop working, or something equally unpleasant could occur. After a little consideration, I decided that it wasn't worth the risk.
Since a proper bath was out of the question, I grabbed a few towels and some soap and turned on the faucet. Then it was a simple matter of scrubbing at the parts of me that weren't wrapped up. It was a slow way to clean myself and I felt like a hobo in a public restroom, but it was better than nothing.
After I felt marginally less disheveled, I returned to the bedroom and strode to the window. The sky was dark and about half of the moon peeked over the horizon. There seemed to be a few more clouds than before, and I dimly wondered if the pegasi were going to make it rain.
I cracked the window open to let some fresh air in. As I stuck my face out to take a deep breath, I heard voices.
“—ust don't get why you're willing to trust him!”
I opened the window a little further and stuck my whole head out to look around. The next window over was open as well, and that was where the voices were coming from.
“And I don't see why you're not, Rainbow! I mean, yes, he's being a little secretive, but he still put his life on the line to go through the buffaloes' trial thing, even though he had no real reason to.”
“I still say we should've got Big Macintosh to go out there and do it instead. At least I can stand him.”
“Ah've already gotta worry 'bout mah sis, we don' need ta get mah brother caught in this mess too. 'Sides, Ah'm glad he wasn't the one ta fight that Ironjaw feller. But Ah hear ya, Rainbow, an' Ah think we really need some answers too.”
I frowned and leaned a little further out the window. I pricked my ears up as far as they could go and listened.
Twilight give an exasperated sigh. “Look, I want to know more about him just as much as you do, but we can't force him to tell us anything.”
“Says you,” Rainbow retorted. “Give me a pair of pliers, and I'll get him to spill his guts. One way or another.”
There was a soft murmur as Fluttershy said something. I couldn't make out the words, but she sounded displeased and worried.
“Probably. Depends on how much they're worth to him.”
“We're not going to torture him!” Twilight snapped.
“Then use your horn! Can't you use magic to read his mind or something? That would save us a hell of a lot of trouble.”
“I could, but I won't. Rummaging around in somepony's head against their will is wrong. Besides, he wouldn't want to have anything to do with us if I did that, so it would completely defeat the purpose.”
Flutttershy said something again. I strained my ears as hard as I could, but her voice was just too quiet.
“No, that won't work either. He'll realize that something's up if we try.”
“Maybe we need ta back 'im inta a corner an' put a little pressure on 'im. Not liter'ly, mind ya, but sorta...y'know...persuade 'im ta talk an' don' let 'im change th' subject. Jus' a little squeeze an' a bit o' proddin' oughtta be 'nough ta make 'im spill th' beans.”
“I'm not so sure. That could scare him off, or it might just make him angry.”
“Then whaddya suggest, Twi'? We shouldn' be runnin' 'round with a colt who could turn on us at any minute. There's gotta be a reason why Discord stuck 'im with us, an' who's ta say he's not part o' some kinda crazy, twisted plan? Maybe he's jus' waitin' fer th' right time ta stab us in th' back.”
My eyebrow rocketed upward. Do they think I'm a threat?
“Do you honestly think that Cog would willingly side with Discord?” Twilight asked, her voice lined with doubt. “Like I said, he almost got himself killed yesterday, for Celestia's sake.”
“Stranger things've happened, Twi'. An' it would explain how he knew how ta find an' solve all th' clues so far. 'S jus' a bit too convenient if ya ask me.”
“I don't believe a word of it,” Rarity's voice put in. I hadn't even realized that she was there.
“Oh, and you would know,” Rainbow challenged aggressively.
The tone of Rarity's response made it perfectly clear that she was glaring at the multicolored pegasus. “Back in Ponyville, while you were busy smacking him around and insulting him, I was watching him. Didn't any of you notice how frightened he was? He looked like a foal lost in a crowd.”
“So?” Applejack asked.
“So, he found himself in an unfamiliar place and under attack. That is why he's being so defensive. He panicked. Anypony would have.”
“Speak for yourself.”
“I do speak for myself, Rainbow Dash. And thanks to your brutish ways, it is going to be that much harder to convince him to talk.”
“Yeah, because he's such a big talker.”
“And I couldn't possibly imagine why he's being so evasive and withdrawn.”
“Alright, enough with the sarcasm,” Twilight interjected as the discussion grew too heated. “Rarity, if you have an idea, let's hear it.”
There was a rustling noise that sounded like Rarity dramatically throwing her mane over her shoulder. “I suggest that we be patient. We ought to be supportive and understanding and let Cog know that he doesn't have to hide anything from us. If we do that, he should open up.”
“Ya mean like what ya tried ta do on th' train?”
“Precisely. We will need to do it slowly and carefully, but I'm certain that we can coax him into telling us more later.”
“How much later?” Rainbow demanded. “How long is that gonna take?”
“I'm not sure. You can't rush these things, you know.”
“The hell you can't. Rarity, we'll never get him to talk if we go soft on him.”
“And I suppose that your barbarous approach would work better?”
“It'd be a lot faster.”
From there, their discussion devolved into a slew of arguing and talking over each other while Twilight attempted to calm them down again. She didn't succeed, and I couldn't make out much beyond a few disjointed words.
I stepped back from the window and pushed it shut, which cut off the sound of their bickering entirely. Everything that I'd just overheard left a sour taste in my mouth.
So they're all trying to get me to talk, I mused. Why? What have I done that's made them so curious? And does AJ actually think that I'm not on their side?
“They really need to learn to keep their voices down,” Pinkie Pie remarked as she stuck her face in her popcorn bucket and took a noisy bite.
“Yeah. I guess they weren't—” I cut myself off and did a double-take at the pink pony. “Wait, what are you doing here?”
“Eating popcorn,” she said through a full mouth.
“I can see that. How did you get in here?”
“There's a door right over there.”
“I didn't hear the door open.”
“That's because I didn't use it, silly.”
“But you just...” At that point, I realized how pointless it was to argue and gave up. “Screw it, I don't really care. Forget I said anything.”
“Done!” she said cheerfully as she attacked her popcorn again.
I sighed and let her eat in peace for a minute or so. While she was busy with that, I continued to mull over everything I'd just overheard. A few things in particular bothered me, and I decided to risk a few quick questions.
“Pinkie, can I ask you something?”
“Hmm?” Her cheeks bulged outward from the impossible amount of popcorn that she had stuffed in her mouth.
“I've noticed that Rainbow Dash really doesn't like me. Is she usually so...” I twirled my hoof in a vague circle as I tried to think of the proper word. “...bitchy? Or did I do something to set her off?”
“Dishny geph rerig freff oot rye ffough.”
“What?”
Pinkie swallowed hard and tried again. “I said that Dashie's just really stressed out right now. I think she's really worried about Scootaloo, and she's frustrated because she hasn't really been able to do anything to help get her back yet. Plus, we've already got two of Discord's clues and they haven't helped at all, so that's only made it worse. She's angry at the situation, and she's looking for somepony to blame. You just happen to be a convenient target for her.”
I was taken aback by the articulate response. “That's...uh...you really think so?”
Pinkie shrugged. “Either that or it's just because she's on her dot.”
“Huh? 'Dot'?”
“Yeah, dot. You know, the thing you put at the end of a sentence.”
“You mean a peri—”
A sharp knock on the door cut me off. Without waiting for a response, the interrupter pushed the door open and stepped inside the room.
It was a white earth pony stallion. I guessed that he was either a teenager or a very young adult. He stood a few inches taller than me and his shiny hair was professionally slicked back. His stud stamp was a scroll and quill.
“Mister...Cog, is it?” he asked calmly. If he noticed Pinkie Pie—who was busy devouring her popcorn again—he gave no sign of it.
“Yeah?” I got the feeling that I'd seen him before, but couldn't place his face.
“If you would be so kind as to follow me, Princess Celestia has requested your presence for a private conversation.”
My stomach twisted uncomfortably. “Did she say why?”
“No, she did not,” he replied, cool as ever.
Shit, this can't be good, I thought. Then again, I didn't really have a choice.
“Alright, lead the way.”
* * * * *
The walking took about ten minutes. From that ridiculously long hallway outside my room, we went through several doors and mostly-empty rooms. Besides us and a few armored guards, the place seemed to be deserted.
During the trip, I tried to recall where I knew the white stallion from. A strong feeling of deja vu gnawed at the back of my mind. I wanted to ask him who he was, but he clearly wasn't a very talkative pony. He kept his eyes forward the entire time and never said a word after we began walking.
Eventually, he stopped in front of a door. A tall white door with delicate swirls carved into the wood and silver trim around the edges. The brass latch looked like it had been polished less than an hour before.
My companion opened the door and stuck his head inside. “Your Majesty, he's here.” He stepped back and tilted his head toward the door.
At that exact moment, I figured it out. He's the same page who lead me to her last time, I realized. He'd just grown up and gotten better at his job since I'd seen him.
I also remembered how impatient he had been during our first meeting. Before he had a chance to shove me face-first into the door (again), I stepped forward and into the room. The door closed as soon as my tail crossed the threshold.
Celestia was standing with her back to me. She stared intently out a tall arched window. Through it, I could see the darkened sky and the crescent moon slowly rising in the distance. A few of the earliest stars had already come out.
“Be seated,” she commanded without turning around. Her tone was icy.
There were two large velvet cushions on the floor and a low table between them. I obediently sat down on the nearest one. My body sunk into the soft material.
For some time, nothing happened. Celestia stood like a statue; the only movement was her mane and tail, which still fluttered and rolled in the nonexistent breeze. She just kept staring at the moon.
I knew better than to say anything or move around. My mind kept going over every conceivable reason for why she had summoned me. There weren't many possibilities, and not one of them was reassuring. The tension in my abdomen steadily increased.
After a few minutes of silence had passed, the Princess turned around. She took a few long strides toward me and carefully laid down on the cushion on the opposite side of the table.
Her pink eye stared into my face. That feeling of being X-rayed returned, and this time it was stronger than ever. My skin prickled and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.
“Cog,” she said coldly. “The last time we met, you had a different name. And a very different body.”
I nodded slowly. There was no point in denying it.
Celestia's horn glowed and a small tea tray appeared on the table with a flash of light. The silver teapot picked itself up and poured some of its steaming contents into two white ceramic cups. One levitated toward me, and the other raised itself to the Princess' mouth. Throughout the process, her eye never wavered.
“Your presence left quite an impression on Equestria,” she went on with that same frigid voice. “Twilight and her friends were particularly affected. As was my sister.”
Shit. The bottom of my stomach dropped right through the floor. I lowered my gaze and stared at the teacup that was still sitting in front of me.
“Your sudden disappearance and refusal to return also...unsettled things,” Celestia continued. “According to my student's report, she and the other bearers of the Elements of Harmony were quite shaken by a sudden change in your behavior. You left half of them in tears.”
Fuck. That made me feel even worse. The sensation from the Princess' piercing gaze continued to bore into my bones.
“Moreover, you seemed to be under the impression that they were not real. That all of Equestria wasn't real, and that you had imagined everything that you saw and did while you were here.”
I had been deliberately trying to not think about that over the past few days, but of course she just had to bring it up. As if I wasn't feeling bad enough already. My innards squirmed like maggots in a corpse.
“Why would you believe that?” she asked. Her glacial tone made it clear that she expected an answer.
I lifted my head back up and looked right into her eye. “It's kinda hard to believe anything else after you wake up in a psychiatric hospital and have a shrink explain that you've been unconscious for days.”
Celestia raised her eyebrow, but her expression remained stern. “Indeed? And what about now? Do you think that this is an illusion as well?”
“I...I don't know,” I admitted. “It doesn't seem like a hallucination, but last time didn't either.”
The Princess took another sip of tea. “Hmm. We've dealt with this kind of thing before. Occasionally, somepony starts to think that their entire life is a dream or that they've gotten lost inside their own minds. That they are just waiting to awaken somewhere else and return to another life.”
“And how do you deal with that?” I asked.
“So long as they don't try to hurt anypony, we usually leave them alone. Eventually, most of them learn to accept reality for what it is on their own.”
“'Most of them'?”
Celestia's mouth narrowed into a grim line and she refilled her teacup with a small spell. “Some don't, and those cases are more...disheartening. We try to help them in any way that we can, but a few unfortunate ponies are simply beyond help and spend the rest of their days waiting for something that never comes. More often than not, their hearts are laden with needless pain and misery. Some of them even kill themselves in a vain attempt to reach whatever world they try to go to.”
Unsure of what to say, I dropped my eyes to my tea again. I still hadn't touched the cup, and the spicy aroma of the steaming drink tickled the inside of my nose.
“What about you, Jesse?” she asked in a softer voice. “Eventually, you will have to decide whether you believe that what you are seeing is true or not.”
“I suppose this is where you're gonna tell me that this is what's real and everything's gonna be just fan-fucking-tastic,” I said bitterly. “No offense, but I'm not gonna take you at your word. What do you want, anyway? You didn't call me here just to talk about this stuff, did you?”
The Princess' expression became hard and businesslike. “Do you know what happened to Luna?”
“Uh, sorta. I heard that she went back to the moon. And...something about a falling out or something like that. I didn't get a lot of details.”
She ruffled her wings into a more comfortable position. “It's a little more complicated than that. For three years now, my sister has exiled herself to her tower on the moon and has cut off all contact with me. I've sent hundreds of letters to her, but she hasn't replied to a single one. When that failed, I sent messengers, but she sent them all right back without speaking to them. I've tried to go myself and speak with her face to face, but she's set up enchantments to block my presence.”
I frowned as I digested this. “I...I don't see what this has to do with me.”
Celestia hesitated for a few seconds before answering. “She left shortly after you returned to Earth. In fact, the 'falling out' was about you.”
“Come again?” I wasn't quite sure that I'd heard her correctly.
She finally glanced away and her eye unfocused. “I confronted her about her behavior toward you and Miss Rarity in the minutes before your disappearance. She was out of line and I told her as such. Things got...heated. We continued arguing throughout the night and we both said some things that we shouldn't have. She stormed out of the castle and didn't look back.”
“And you're blaming me for it,” I said, letting my tone indicate how little I appreciated that.
Celestia's eye shifted back to me and narrowed dangerously. “No. Luna's actions are her own, but you were a factor.”
I scratched my jaw with a hoof. “So...what, then? Where are you going with this?”
“You need to get to the moon to find whatever Discord hid for you there. I can send you, and I want you to speak with my sister while you are there. If she sees somepony that she recognizes, she may listen to what I want you to tell her instead of sending you right back.”
“Uhh....” The memory of my last encounter with Luna didn't exactly make me eager to accept the request. Celestia again seemed to read my mind.
“I realize that the two of you didn't part under the best of circumstances, but your presence may be shocking enough to make her listen. And I would be extremely grateful if you would at least make an attempt to convince her to come back to Equestria. Please.”
The pleading in her tone struck a chord with me. Her voice belonged to someone who is desperate and reaches out to any shred of hope, however thin it may be. I can't quite describe the feeling that it stirred up, but it managed to override my misgivings.
I swallowed hard and nodded. “Alright. I'll do whatever I can.”
The coldness left the Princess' demeanor and she looked relieved. “Thank you. You have no idea what this means to me.”
“Right. So, I guess that means we should gather the others together and—”
“No. They won't be going with you.”
My eyes widened in surprise. “What? Why not?”
“Because I need them here,” Celestia explained. “I have to give them the Elements of Harmony again so that they can imprison Discord again. Without Twilight and her friends wielding them, we have no chance of defeating him. Even in a matter such as this, I cannot allow them to leave Equestria while he is loose.”
“I...you....” I had to pause and start again to form a coherent sentence. “Alright, I get what you mean. But I wish you would've told me that I was gonna be on my own a minute ago.”
“Does that change your answer?” she asked warningly.
“No, I'm just saying that it would've been nice to know.”
“My apologies,” she murmured as she stood up. “Are you ready to go?”
“What, right now?”
“Is there any reason to delay? Every second we waste is another opportunity for Discord to concoct some new scheme.”
“Well, when you put it that way...” I mumbled as I scrambled to my hooves as well.
Celestia turned around and stepped up to the window again. The sky had turned completely black and the number of stars had increased exponentially since my arrival. The bright moon was still near the horizon.
The Princess' pink eye never left the shining silver crescent as she spoke. Her voice quivered ever so slightly with emotion. “When you see Luna, tell her...tell her that I never meant to drive her away. I banished her for a thousand years, but her absence over the past three have grieved me just as badly. Let her know that I want her to come back. And, Jesse?”
“What?”
“I'm not entirely sure why you have chosen to lie to my student and her friends or what you hope to accomplish by doing so, but I fully expect you to explain yourself to them when you return. I think they deserve to the truth, and believe me when I say that they will be overjoyed to know that you have decided to return.”
I had some serious doubts about that last part, but I kept them to myself. “I'll keep that in mind.”
“See that you do. One more thing. You will want to consider the other subject that I brought up. Sometimes we have dreams that we wish would last forever, and sometimes we have nightmares that we wish would end. But there are also other times...times when it is neither dream nor nightmare, because there is no waking up.”
Before I could work out exactly what she was trying to say, a flash of magic from her horn blinded me and the floor disappeared.