Cthulhu in Equestria

by SenialHobo


Easter Short (Murder Has Never Been More Delicious)

A/N: this is the (late) Easter Special, and it takes place outside of the plotline (if it can be qualified as such). And yes, it's from a different perspective - third person, not first. Tell me if you like me writing in third person or first more. Enjoy!

"Ah, Easter's here! Free candy ahoy!" Cthulhu observed, marking his calendar.

"Easter? What's that?" Twilight asked.

"You know… originally a pagan celebration for the coming of spring, begging me to not kill them… Later turned into a celebration of some dude's death… I think he was a tyrant or something… But most importantly, the Easter Bunny comes around and leaves candy for all the children… and me, ever since that one year he thought I was too old and I nearly destroyed his candy factory. I was always so I annoyed I was too big to really enjoy the candy… I may have been a little overzealous a few times trying to get enough candy to taste it…" Cthulhu said, thinking back to the time he scared all those kids when he showed up at an Easter egg hunt, and stole all the eggs.

"…Aren't you just a little old to be stealing candy from foals?" Twilight asked.

"As Pinkie says, you can never be too old for free candy!" Cthulhu pointed out.

"…She insists she still hasn't outgrown Nightmare Night…" Twilight sighed. "Well, there's no Easter here so-"

"No Easter, eh? Well then I'll just have to MAKE an Easter!" Cthulhu said, getting up, and dashing out the door of the library. "See you later Twi!" He called back.

Twilight just groaned. "I really need my coffee…"

Cthulhu ran into Sugarcube, and up to Pinkie. "Hey Pinkie! Want some free candy?"

_____________________________________________________________________

"So this Easter bunny brings you candy? You don't even have to go from house to house, you can just collect in your own house?" Pinkie asked, while they set up the ceremony to summon the Easter Bunny in the cult's headquarters, a cellar underneath Twilight's library. Seriously, how could she have missed that? Twilight Sparkle? More like Twilight Clueless.

"Basically." Cthulhu replied.

"Wow! That's even better then Nightmare Night! And we can get whole giant chocolate sculptures of him?" she asked again.

"Yup! And I'll finally be small enough to actually taste them!" Cthulhu replied. "Let's get this summoning on the road!" Cthulhu said, aligning all of the elements just right for the summoning.

It took him 23 tries to do it correctly. Finally the portal started to open. "That was harder then it had to be. No wonder you guys couldn't ever summon me right… My summons is a lot harder."

The Easter bunny hopped out of the portal, a giant bunny about Cthulhu's size. He walked up to Cthulhu and… kicked him in the groin. Fortunately Cthulhu didn't have such a vulnerable spot, but it sent him to the floor - a bunny's feet are powerful!

"I was almost done with that world, now I have an entire other world I have to serve candy to! I will, BUT NEITHER OF YOU ARE GETTING ANY!" he said, and hopped off.

Cthulhu got up and dusted himself off. "He's going to pay for that."

"YA! NOPONY CANDY-BLOCKS PINKIE PIE!" Pinkie Pie said.

Cthulhu just stared at Pinkie Pie.

"Oh, ya, and kicking you too."

Cthulhu waved his arms in the air angrily. "EASTER BUNNY!!!!"

CTHULHU
VS.
EASTER BUNNY

_____________________________________________________


The Easter bunny hopped off, towards Fluttershy's house.

"After him! Don't let him get away!" Cthulhu shouted to Pinkie.

"YOU'RE… GOING TO… GIVE ME CANDY!!!!" Pinkie screamed at the poor rabbit.

"Oh no! Pinkie! We're going towards Fluttershy's cottage! He has power over rabbits! He can enrage them into kicking everything's shins! We've got to stop him!" Cthulhu warned.

"It's ok! I have energy drink caches all over Ponyville for energy drink emergencies!" Pinkie told him, stopping by a bush and reaching in.

"Pinkie! This is no time for jokes! We need to catch him, before he can get to Fluttershy's! Imagine what her hundreds of bunnies would do to her shins!" Cthulhu told her, running on.

Pinkie gulped down the horrible tasting beverage, and started shaking up and down, very quickly. What happened next is indescribable with ordinary words. Try your best to imagine a giant pink bullet jumping a bunny, and you’ll be pretty close.

Cthulhu ran up to the wreckage of a tangled bunny and pink pony. Pinkie quickly pinned him down, and quickly blabbed an almost indecipherable string of sounds, the basic jist of which is that the bunny ought to give her candy immediately.

“Bu-but I just got here! I don’t have any candy!” The Easter bunny cried out.

Pinkie wasn’t satisfied with that. She then slapped him so hard with the back of her hoof that he fainted.

Interestingly, when the Easter bunny faints, he turns into a giant chocolate statue of himself.

“Pinkie! Wait! Don’t eat him! We can make him make us more candy!” Cthulhu reasoned.

“Forget that! I want immediate gratification!” Pinkie said, devouring the bunny’s chocolate head.

“PINKIE! You just murdered the Easter bunny!” Cthulhu said, yanking on his tentacle-hair.

“I know, and murder has never been more delicious!” Pinkie said, her mind evidently in crazier-then-regular-Pinkie-Pie-crazy mode because of the energy drink.

“Well… I guess nopony knows who it is… Save some for me!” Cthulhu said, kneeling down to eat some.

THE END!

A/N-did you guys like this storyline or the previous chapter’s one better? If you guys want I can make this a ‘Cthulhu VS’ story instead of… I dunno whatever that other one was. And yes, this chapter was a parody of the Hub’s show, Dan VS., which has been going downhill since the first episode… 