The spectacular escapades of three idiots:
Prolouge.
It was a wonderfully stereotypical Equestrian night. The owls hooted off in the distance, and the howls of wolves echoed through the forest, the-…Ok, I’m just going to get to the point, I’m sure you don’t give a damn about these insignificant and minor details.
Two of our three main characters sat quietly in their poor excuse for a home. Sir Jolt Ramsey Star Swirl Langsworth the Seventh, or Film Strip as he was commonly known, a full grown stallion with an average build and a pair of thin feathered wings was hard at work on a new film script. His bright emerald green eyes looked down to the blank sheets of paper that sat before him as he began to consider a multitude of different motion picture plot ideas. He scratched his left fore hoof against the back of his short cut, navy blue mane as he shifted his gaze down towards his own light blue toned coat, focusing mainly on his own cutiemark, which was a piece of film sticking out of its metal roll. He sighed and looked back to the blank sheets. He suddenly picked up the whiff of something absolutely disgusting emanating from the kitchen, “ugh- Patch, could you please take out the garbage? I can’t think with that disgusting smell,” Film requested as he fixed his large jet black framed glasses and leaned back into the torn black leather of his fairly large coach.
Patch looked up from his small plastic spaceship and towards his older sibling with his bright lemon toned gaze and sighed, “Do I have to?” the young, gray coated unicorn colt asked with a whining tone.
Film Strip turned towards his younger brother, with a very stern expression now riddled across his face, “Patch, take out the garbage!” he demanded before looking back to his blank script.
Patch let out a long and obviously exaggerated sigh as he slowly picked himself up and off the stained covered carpet, “Fine,” he muttered as he began to follow the putrid stench of rotting garbage into the kitchen. He engulfed a deep breath as he began to focus all of his attention towards the large tin garbage can that rested before him. Within a few mere seconds his horn began to illuminate with a bright yellow aura matching the color of his eyes as he used his magical abilities to levitate the bag of rancid trash out of its container, gagging as he did so.
Patch kicked open his front door and stepped out and onto his porch and took in the calm scenery on a Ponyville night. The streets were strangely decollete, probably do to the public still fearing yet another Changeling invasion just like the one that had unfolded merely three weeks ago. The young colt let out a nervous whimper as he stepped out into the nearly pitch black night, “Ok Patch, you’re going to be fine, there aren't going to be any changelings out here. They’re gone Patch, all gone,” he assured himself as he slowly and cautiously made his way towards the garbage can that sat by the edge of his property.
Everything was going smoothly, everything was going well.
But, suddenly, the calming silence of night was shattered as a loud thump was heard from inside the garbage container. Patch dropped the trash bag and hopped back a clean six feet, he stared intently towards the now rumbling trash can, pure fear now in his light yellow gaze. “Wh-who’s there?’” he managed to utter through his now chattering teeth.
The tin lid of the garbage slid off of the container it was meant to cover and slammed against the ground, causing Patch to jump back another five feet. Suddenly a large dark figure began to emerge from its hiding place. It had dark, leather like skin and a large horn on its forehead, a pair of strange cylinder like ears pointed upwards and a singular fang protruding from its mouth. Two paper thin light red wings laid against a crimson red shell. A banana peel rested atop its head and slowly began to slide off as he chewed on a piece of moldy bread. “…Hola,” it suddenly uttered as it began to stare down towards the quivering colt with its pair of large, crimson red eyes.
“Ch-ch-chane…Chang-ch…,” Patch stuttered as he continued to stare towards the dark figure.
The creature hopped out of the trash can and made his way towards the now unmoving Patch, “here, let me finish that for you,” he said as he placed a hoof with a multitude of holes littered throughout it over the colts’ mouth. “Changeling!” he shouted with a false tone of fear, obviously parodying Patchs currently horrified state.
Patch suddenly let out a scream of pure terror, which was muffled through the crimson eyed changelings hoof. He glanced towards the bag of garbage that he had dropped earlier, and in a panic he used his magic to throw the rancid bag towards the shape shifting creature. The changeling began to gag as the bag exploded on impact, sending putrid pieces of garbage all over the place.
Patch quickly shoved the changeling away and got to his hooves, “stay away!” he commanded as he got into a fighting stance. He then began to slowly tilt his head to express his confusion as he noticed the changeling doing something…Well, strange to say the least. He wasn’t fighting back, he wasn’t spitting out threats. He was instead digging through the piles of trash in search of something eatable. That’s when Patch started to get a closer look at the usually threatening creature. It was pitiful! Skin and bone! The poor creature must be starving. Patch swallowed his fear and began to calm himself, “Er-Wh-what are you doing here?” he asked hesitantly.
The changeling didn’t respond, it was too busy stuffing his face with old apple cores and grape stems.
“Are their more of your kind around?”
No response, still just eating garbage.
“Do you want something to eat?”
Now that got a response. The changeling lifted his head, a large toothy grin now stretching across his face, exposing his razor sharp teeth. “Why, yes I would,” he answered as he picked himself off the ground.
Patch gulped yet again as he caught sight of the changelings’ shark like teeth, “Okay,” he muttered nervously as he made his way back to his front door.
The changeling nearly squealed with pure joy as he followed the colt inside.
Patch stepped inside and looked throughout his own home, keeping an eye out for his older brother, “Ok, I need you to stay quiet, my older brother is working” Patch whispered as quietly as he possibly could.
“Got it!” The changeling responded with his normal tone.
“Shut it!” Patch whispered.
“Okay!”
“No! Stop taking!”
“Sure thing little dude!”
“Please, stop talking!”
“Righto!”
“Shut up!!!”
“Hey! Watch your tone mister-“ the changeling was suddenly cut off as a light blue figure suddenly tackled him to the ground. The changeling looked up to his attacker. It was an average looking Pegasus with a large pair of glasses sitting on his face, this stallion must be the young colts older sibling, “…you have a nice floor, is that magenta?” he asked as the stallion pressed his face against the carpet.
“Film Strip! Stop!” Patch demanded as he attempted to push his brother off of their peculiar guest.
Film Strip looked down to Patch and quickly shook his head, “Patch, go find some guards!” he commanded as he continued to pin the changeling.
Patch shook his head and continued his attempt to push Film Strip off the changeling, “No! He just wants some food!” Patch told his brother.
“He’s going to eat us!” Film Strip said as he continued to press down on the changeling.
The changeling squirmed for a bit as he tried to free himself from the surprisingly strong stallions grip, “Uh, we actually don’t eat ponies, just your emotions, just thought you should know that,” he explained.
“Please, just let him have a quick meal, and then he’ll be gone! I promise,” Patch assured Film Strip as he finally ceased his futile assault on his much larger sibling.
Film Strip stared into his brothers’ large, lemon yellow gaze before releasing a short sigh and hesitantly releasing the creature. “Fine, he can have one meal,” he uttered half-halfheartedly as he huffed a bit and stepped into the kitchen.
Within seconds the changeling had consumed an entire roll of cookie dough and a whole salad, within minutes he had devoured all of their fruits and vegetables; it must have been days since his last meal.
The two siblings stared towards the changeling. A look of intrigue on Patch’s face, and a look of disgust on Films. Film scooted a bit towards the changeling and stared into its scarlet red gaze, “So what’s with you? I thought you all had blue eyes” he asked, pointing out the creatures’ noticeable deviance.
The changeling ceased his consumption and looked up to Film Strip, a look of offense riddled across his face. “Oh, so just because I’m a changeling, you’re assuming that I’m supposed to have blue eyes?”
“What?” Film asked with a befuddled expression.
“Oh no, it’s cool, I guess you’re just that kind of pony” the changeling spat before crossing his hooves and turning away.
“No! No! It’s not like that, I’m just asking why your eyes are red, I thoug-…No, wait! It’s not like-“ Film Strip was suddenly cut off when the changeling threw his hoof over his shoulder.
“Hey! It’s cool man! I’m just messing with yah!” the changeling said as he began to snicker a bit under his own breath. “It’s actually a very common thing! It’s like being ginger, except I have a soul!” he explained with a stupidly large grin.
Film Strip just stared at the changeling, no longer with disgust, now just confusion. This was a strange creature indeed. “Okay buddy, whatever you say…” he muttered.
The changelings red eyes grew wide, now expressing a mixture of excitement and joy, “buddy? Did you just call me buddy? Are we friends? Are you my best friend now?” he asked, trying his hardest to suppress his pure unadulterated happiness.
“W-what? No, that’s not what I meant!” Film stuttered, the look of confusion now growing on his face, “That’s not what I meant at all!”
The changeling pulled Film into his tight embrace, pressing his leathery skin against Films light blue coat, “yay! We're best friends! I'm going to live with you guys now!” he shouted with an absolutely giddy tone of voice.
Patch lit up as the changeling took hold of him as well, pulling him into a group hug, “We’re going to live with a changeling!?” he asked with an ecstatic tone.
Film Strip struggled to escape the changelings grasp, but the changeling proved to be too strong, even for him, “No!” he exclaimed.
The changeling looked down to Film, his excited expression and tone turning strangely serious for a second. “I will eat you” he uttered.
“I thought you only ate emotions”
“No, we need to eat emotions, but I can still eat you” the changeling explained.
Film Strip took in a nervous gulp and formed a crooked grin, “Would you like to live in the attic? Or the basement?”
The changelings’ expression shifted back into a very joyous one as he continued to look towards Film, “well I do enjoy a good view,” he said before bursting out into laughter.
Film Strip sighed and released a falsified “yay…” as he turned away from the changeling, looking down to the hard wood floor instead.
Patch couldn't help but smile as he and the changeling continued to hug each other, he pulled away and looked into the changelings crimson red gaze. “What’s your name?” he asked, pure wonder in his bright lemon toned eyes.
“I don’t have one!” the changeling said, still maintaining his tone of excitement and joy.
Patch gasped a bit as he heard this somewhat unsettling news. No name? How could you not have name? Even if you weren't given one, couldn't you just name yourself? Were all changelings like this? Or was he specifically just never given a name? So many questions to a relatively simple, be it strange, concept. So many questions, all of which will never be answered!...Probably. Patch continued to look up to the changeling, an idea slowly forming in his head, and then, it suddenly hit him. “I could name you!”
The changeling stared down to the young unicorn colt, his smile somehow growing twice as large. “Yes! Name me you pudgy little pony!”
Patch placed a hoof to his own chin and began to think of a few ideas. He was infatuated with the idea of extraterrestrial beings, so maybe a sort of alien like name. But it needed to be simple to remember, and not a completely pain to say. “What about…Ramn?” he asked, just throwing out an idea, hoping that it would land.
“Yes!” the newly named Ramn answered as he pulled Patch back into his now extremely tight embrace. He hugged him tighter and tighter, the poor boy starting to actually turn purple due to lack of oxygen. Ramn pulled Film Strip close as well, nearly choking him to death too, “yeah! We’re all going to go on so many adventures together!” he said as he began to imagine the various different types of escapades that they could all participate in, they’d be wondrous! Spectacular even! And it’d be just the three of them. This concept just made Ramn even more excited! So his grip on the two brothers tightened, depriving them of even more oxygen. “I love you guys!” the changeling announced.
The two brothers both gasped, trying their hardest to inhale just a bit of oxygen. But the changelings grasp was too tight, they couldn’t breathe! They reached out for Ramn, attempting to push him away and save their own lives, but they were far too weak.
“Thank you two so much!”