I lay in a blissful sleep, my muscles practically rolling off of me like a warm pudding. I snore very loudly, disturbing the rest of the patrons in the room with me. Soon, I feel a soft hoof attempt to nudge me from my dream and my precious family of Tanks. I attempt to roll over and mumble some small threats, but, it is to no avail. I am roused from my sleep by a very accented voice.
"Pleaze, Mizzer Hk! Ju haf to go!"
I grumble as I sit up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I yawn as I swing myself over the table and onto the floor. I walk towards a changing room and enter inside. Donning my clothes before I pay the amount due and leave the establishment.
I continue walking, having no idea where to go. 'I wonder if my weapons are done yet? Or the clothes for that matter? I need to find some work, maybe I'll become a Mercenary? I do like to shoot things, and with my current state, I'd be a pretty costly one.' I considered the idea for a while longer, thinking of where I would find a group that would accept me. 'Then again, I am pretty sick of killing for no reason. So, maybe a Military job? Get paid, have a squad, obtain high ranks, be renowned as a hero. Then again, I don't get paid that much, but all I have to support is me. Yet there is that one pony who comes around every so often, and if she wants this meat, then she better put a fucking ring on my finger.'
My thoughts are interrupted when a certain pegasus flies down next to me.
"Hey! You're that guy who held Twilight's Brother hostage!"
"Yeah, I am, what of it Rainbow?"
"Well, why aren't you in the dungeons?"
"Official pardon. Now go crawl in a box or something."
The mare took on a sour face, likely trying to believe such a statement. Before she suddenly remembered what she came here to do.
"Oh yeah, Twilight said to be at the library later, something about you being selected for something by the Princess."
I rolled my eyes at my luck, here I was, considering a military profession, and WHAM! I get selected for something.
"Thanks for the info, Prism-dick, now fuck off."
She glared at me, her face turning beet red at the insult. She crossed her hooves and hovered near me.
"Why are you such a flank-hole all the time? Why do you always treat ponies with such contempt?"
I continued walking, passing by shops and houses, a few foals dotted the road, playing tag, and other such games. I smiled at seeing them play. I always did like kids, they were completely innocent, and guilt free, and total angels.
"Oh, look it it's 'Scootaloser!"
"And Crapplebloom!"
"And Sweetiewhale!"
'Most of the time'
Over by the side of the road, were a collection of foals. Two stood by a building and were throwing insults at the other three, who looked like they were already close to breaking down.
'Better intervene before those three become psychopaths'
"HEY! What in the hell is going on here?"
The two insult throwing foals quickly snappped their heads to me, staring in wide eyed wonder, that is until the pink one grew a mischevious grin and turned her tongue on me.
"Oh no! It's the angry monkey come to punish us!" She snorted in disgust. "What's a moron like you doing here?"
'Oh, hell no. I am not putting up with this shit. Gods of Child scarring, heed my call and lend me your strength!'
"Oh, it's you, I've been looking everywhere for you, your dad is dead, crushed by some machinery down by the mine."
She cut her laughter and stared at me in horror. "Da-Da-Da-Daddy's dead?"
"Yep, got pulled into a grinder, heard him scream something fierce, then I saw him, he was sticking halfway out of it, his top half was screaming while his bottom half was all gibblet's and blood, seriously it was all like, 'pbbbbhhhht', and 'squish', and even some 'squamp'"
Once I finished my description of her father's grisly death, which was complete with hand manuever's. The filly was in tears, before she could bolt, I stared into her eyes, making sure she could see straight into mine.
"And I threw him in there because you were acting like a bitch."
She bolted down the road, tears streaming down her eyes and screaming. "Daddy, I'm coming."
I turned to the remaining three fillies. "So, who wants icecream!"
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