“Okay, I think that’s it. You can ask the questions now, but don’t bother if it relates to who I am as a person.”
“Great!” “Did she just squee? Should I be worried?” Her horn glows, and a notebook and pencil, also glowing, float over. “That must be the magic she was talking about.” “Okay, where are you from?”
“Earth.”
“What’s earth?”
“A planet.”
“What’s a planet?” Her tone is starting to sound skeptical
“A big hunk of something, whether it be gas or rock, in space.”
“Space?”
“You know, what’s above the sky.” She has a look of disbelief, and slight bewilderment. I could tell that she was starting to wonder if I’m crazy “Got to turn this around, and I know just the way” “Or maybe that’s just the concussion talking.”
“Possibly.” “That was close, Equestria must not be that advanced. Or maybe it is the concussion talking…nah.”
“Moving on, could you tell me what you are?”
“As a species? Genus homo species sapiens or, as we call ourselves, humans.”
“What are humans like?”
“Height wise, human males range from five feet six inches to six feet two inches, on average anyway. Human females range from five feet two inches to about five feet eight inches. In terms of weight, a typical human male of average height weighs about two hundred pounds, I can’t recall the average for females though. I don’t know how we are emotionally or how we treat others.” “I don’t think I should tell her how many wars have been started, how many lives have been lost. I won’t tell her outright, but if she asks me. I’ll tell her to be prepared for the horrible things humans are capable of.”
“Are there any different races of humans? Michael?”
“What? Sorry I was lost in thought.”
“Are there multiple races of humans?
“Not in the way you would think of, races for humans mean skin color, which ranges from white, like me, to black.”
“Can humans use magic?”
“No, we get by through making machines to do tasks that are impossible for us to do on our own. That’s enough for now Twilight, I want to get some clothes.”
“Fine, but we’re finishing this later, you can get clothes at the boutique.” “Yay, more walking.”
{Halfway to the boutique}
“SOLDIER, ATTENTION!” When I hear a tomboyish voice exclaim this I stop moving, I put my heels together, my head points straight ahead, my eyes focus on nothing, my arms are at my side. As if on instinct. “What?” “LEFT FACE!” My right heel leaves the ground while my left toes do the same. Then I pivot, ending up facing ninety degrees to the left. “FORWARD, MARCH!” I march straight ahead. “SOLDIER, IN CADENCE!”
“IN CADENCE, LEFT, LEFT, LEFT RIGHT, RIGHT LEFT, LEFT, LEFT, LEFT RIGHT.” My feet were matching my voice, whenever I said left, my left foot strikes the ground “What the hell is happening? Why do I not have control of my own body?”
“SOLDIER, HALT” I take one additional step, then I snap back to attention. “FALL, OUT”
“THANK YOU MAM.” I then regain control of my body, I look around for the apparent drill instructor, but am surprised to see that the only ponies around are the ones staring at me, Twilight included. I look for a few more seconds until I remember the third race of ponies “God damn third dimension”. I look up and see a light blue pony with a rainbow mane. “And you would be?”
“The one and only Rainbow Dash, the fastest flier in all of Equestria.” Something tells me she has this little spiel on speed dial.
“I’ll believe it when I see it” I execute a right face and march off, my face an emotionless mask. “I guess I did have a military background”
“Michael!” Twilight ran up next to me. “What was that about?”
“Your guess is as good as mine. I need to burn some energy. The boutique is this way right?” She nods her head. “What does it look like?”
“It’s a purple building with a base the shape of a circle.”
“A building with no corners,” I look around, taking notice of the architecture. “Seems kind of like a medieval village, shouldn’t be too hard to find a building like that.” “See you there.” I then sprint off, the wind blowing my hair around. The physical exertion making me feel like nothing else. Feeling up for a challenge, I steer towards a pile of crates. I reach them and jump from one to the next, scrambling to the top. Upon reaching it I jump to the nearest roof, laughing like a madman. I then run from rooftop to rooftop, until I take a wrong step and fall through a roof. I open my eyes to see a very shocked family. “Michael Tennison, I work at the library. Come see me and I’ll either pay for it or fix it myself.” I then jump straight up, grabbing the side of the hole. I pull myself up “Sorry about that.” I say down the hole and then run off, making sure to step on support beams. I then see the boutique in the distance “Now how to get down, OH I KNOW. I run past the boutique to the end of the row of houses. “I’m probably going to regret this later, but FUCK IT I’M HIGH ON ADRENALINE!” I leap off the last house towards a river, do a back flip for shiggles, and yell at the top of my lungs “CANNONBALL!!”.
*SPLASH*
I swim to the surface, grinning like a madman.
“That was pretty cool, not as cool as me of course, but pretty cool.” I look to the sky and see a familiar Pegasus.
“Wow, not even a day here and I’ve already got a stalker. You’re not doing a good job though.”
“I am not a stalker”
“Seems like it.” I swim towards the bank of the river “Damn, this is going to be really cold when I get out.”
“I can solve that.” I get out, shake my head to get most of the water out of my hair, and sure enough I am soon shaking from the cold.
“Then get cracking.” She then starts flying in a circle around me, faster and faster until I can barely see her. I feel the suction of the rainbow tornado begin to lift me off the ground, and the water off my body and out of my clothes. After I am floating in the air I notice that I can’t breathe “The suction is forming a vacuum, shit”. I reach out to try to tell Rainbow Dash that I can’t breath, but then she stops and I fall on my ass.
“That may have worked, but you could have killed me.” The look of confusion on her face tells me she doesn’t understand how a tornado works. “Tornadoes form a vacuum in the center, in the vacuum there isn’t any oxygen to live.” First a look of realization, then one of shame and apology. “Don’t worry about it, you didn’t know, and hey I’m dry.” I march towards the boutique. Rainbow Dash flies next to me, and breathes in. I see what she’s doing and interrupt her. “I said it’s okay. You can’t blame someone for something they didn’t know.” She smirks, then laughs a little.
“I was going to ask what you’re name was soldier.”
“First off, I don’t know if I am a soldier or not. I don’t even know who I am. All I know is that my name is Michael Tennison and I’m not from Equestria.”
“How did you get here?”
“Don’t know, I just woke up in a hospital room. Nurse said I had a concussion. If you want to know more, ask Twilight, because I’m not explaining all that again.” I reach the boutique and circle around it to look for the door. I get halfway to the other side when I come across it.
“I need to go, weather needs to be made, clouds have to be kicked.”
“I understand”
I knock three times, step back then move to at ease, my hands are behind my back, and my feet are shoulder width apart.
“The doors open darling.” Unlike Rainbow Dash, this voice is very feminine. I reach for the doorknob and push open the door “Do any of the doorknobs work? Wait, ponies don’t have hands, wow.” I chuckle at my own stupidity as I walk in. I look around and notice a white pony with a flowing purple mane, her Cutie mark was three diamonds. She was standing in front of a desk, elbows “What is that joint called on horses?” resting on it, one hoof holding her chin up while the other was absentmindedly pushing some white buttons around.
“You must be Rarity. I need some clothes.”
“I don’t recognize your voice deary, you must be new to Ponyville.” I chuckle to myself “You could say that.”. She turns around and gasps at the sight of me. “You woke up!” My grin, glued to my face at this point, got a little wider.
“I did?” “Sarcasm, another talent of mine. Wonder what some others are.” “Anyway, could you make me some clothes? I can pay you later.”
“Of course I can. Now what would you like?”
“I don’t really care. Five blue jeans and five T shirts I guess. Color isn’t important.”
“You want a wardrobe filled with the same clothes?” She has a look of complete shock, and a touch of horror.
“Um, yeah. Is that a problem?”
“No, it’s a fashion travesty!” “Uh-oh, this kind of person, er pony”
“I’m sorry, but in my opinion, function before fashion. I want some durable clothes that won’t be ruined if they get wet, like these. If they happen to not be fashionable, as long as it doesn’t hurt the eyes, I honestly don’t care.” She looks at me. “Did I just fuck up?” “But I can appreciate a dressing nice at a formal occasion.” She closes her eyes “I hope I fixed that well enough.”
“Time to get your sizes.” Her horn glows and tape measures, pieces of cloth, a notebook, and a pencil, all levitate around her “I really hope she doesn’t hate me now, that pencil looks VERY sharp.”. I snap to attention, perfectly still, following every direction that leaves her lips.
-Michael
[If the story feels kind of disconnected, I’m sorry because I am scatterbrained as hell. Can’t change how I think though, so either deal with it or stop reading (Please just deal with it)
Question (Does anyone read these? Not the actual question) Do you find my stories interesting? I’m not trying to advertise my own stuff (View counts don’t matter to me), I just want to become a better writer, can you help a brony out?]
-Michael