Fate's a Funny Thing

by Honest Wisdom


Land Ho!

The children scurried around, chasing each other and playing games. I sat in the crows nest watching the ocean beneath us for any sign of civilization, pony or otherwise. It would tell us if the land in the distance was inhabited or not. My wings were itching from not being preened properly and it was making me very irritable. I flapped them hard and loose feathers were blown away in the wind. Bluey was mapping our progress as well as the small barren islands beneath us. Greenscale was proving to be very helpful, flying down and collecting fish for the Gryphon Cubs, which I learned was the proper term for young Gryphons over a year old.

I pecked at a loose feather. "Stupid wings. Why can't you grow new feathers in a more attractive way?" plucking a feather from my wing the inching in that area subsided. "Itchy."

I notice something from the corner of my eye. I look over to see a bird perching on the railing. A few more fly up and join him(from his brightly colored feathers) I shoo them. The first flies up and perches on my head. "Go away!" I wave my arms erratically and they fly off. I relax and continue preening. I hear the flapping of wings and look up. I see birds of all types crowded on every possible perch. They all watch me intently. "Uh... Shoo." I wave them away.

A few of them land on me. "This will not end well." I mutter.


"AHHHHHHH!!!! GET'EMOFFMEGET'EMOFFMEGET'EMOFFME!!!" I flew away from the growing cloud of birds. "I threw my last cracker and they still won't leave me alone!"

Blueblood raced to keep up with me. "Why are they after me?!?!?!" A few mananged to catch up with him and started pecking his flank.

"I don't know!" I dodged a very presumptuous pigeon and banked sharply rump. "Maybe they like your Cutie Mark, they are Magpies."

"What the buck are magpies!?!?"

"Birds that like shiny things!"

"My cutie mark is not shiny!"

"It's a compass, compasses are shiny!"

"Ahhh! They're in my mane!"

"HELP ME!!!" I cried as the cloud of birds consumed me and carried me back to the crows nest.


Blueblood glared at me from across the table. "They preened your wings for you."

I continued to stare down at my plate. "I was so scared."

Greenscale settled down next to me. "We'll be landing soon, do you want anything?" he laid a wing over me.

"I-I'm okay, just... so confused."

"My mane, my beautiful mane." Blueblood lamented. I continued to stare down at my food. "But I have to admit, they did a good job on your wings."

I look down at them. Despite having a few empty patches from the removal of loose feathers they shimmer slightly in the light and lay flat against my body. "Thanks, If it matters, your mane looks pretty cool like that. It gives you a rugged badcolt look."

His ears perked up. "Really?"

"Yeah, hey, maybe you'll get a scar while we're here and complete the look." I nudge Greenscale.

"Hmm, oh yes. Wisdom says the mares like that sort of thing. Dragonesses prefer you actually fight for their honor."

"Gryphons prefer you be able to buck their brains out but right now I'll settle for the mares... or Dragon babes." A purr rumbled in my chest. The boys looked at me. I giggle. "I'll settle for you two if I have to."

They both blushed furiously and fidgeted. I stood. "Whelp, I'm done here." I stretched and strolled out of the room.


The cubs stuck close to me as we left the ship. They looked around in amazement at the massive towering trees and the lush plants that surrounded us. I smiled and nudged Snowy Pearl forward. "Go on, enjoy yourselves. Just be back before sunset, or I might raze this entire forest to the ground looking for you."

A few stepped forward timidly but the minute they heard a loud noise they bolted back to me and clung to my shadow. I sighed. "Looks like we have to do this the hard way, Who want's to play hide and seek?"

A few timid claws raised into the air. "Okay then, I'll count." I sit and cover my eyes with my claws. "One... two... three... Four." I listened to the sounds of scurrying hooves and claws. There were a few giggles and shushes but they were mostly silent. "Five," the rustling of a bush and more giggles. "Six," There was the sound of claws scraping against trees. "Seven, eight." I heard the faint flapping of wings. "Nine... ten, ready or not here I come."

I lowered myself into a hunting crouch and padded towards the nearest bush. I dived at the bush and snatched up Autumn Feather, a golden gryphon with blue edging on his wings. I nuzzled him and he let out a squeal of laughter. "Now you have to help me find the rest."


The game was over rather quickly so I left Autumn Feather in charge of being the seeker and went to help Shimmering Rose document new plants. After eating several fruit samples she politely asked that I go do something else, naturally I went to pester Blueblood. I walked next to him as we navigated the dense rainforest. "So Blues, you got a special somepony back home waiting for you? Or are you a loner?"

"I'd rather not talk about my personal life right now." He cut through the brush with my machete which he held in his magic. "Be a dear and climb up this tree to see how far we are from camp." I raised an eyebrow and opened my wings. He coughed, blushing from embarrassment. "Or fly, that's good too."

I smirk at him. "Ahh Bluey, you're so lucky you're cute."

"Don't call me Bluey." He muttered.

I lift my wings and take off with a single mighty flap of my wings. I dodged the larger branches and smashed through the small ones. I burst into the sunlight and glance around. All flying creatures have an instinct to tell them exact distances from a distances, something built deeply into our DNA to help us navigate.

Nothing but trees in every direction. We couldn't have traveled that far so quickly. I fly higher and still don't see the camp. I fly back down and crash through the canopy. Blueblood was scribling down some notes in his notebook. "Well?"

"I couldn't see it."

His eybrows knitted together. "At all?" I nodded. "That can't be good."

I lay a wing on him. "Don't worry, I'll get us out of here." a low hiss sounded from the bushes and we could hear the sound of branches breaking. I looked up to see a hulking reptilian monstrosity towering over us.

"The universe hate us doesn't it." Blueblood said, flatly.

"Eeyup."