Meanwhile, on the royal chariot in the skies outside of Ponyville...
Not far from Ponyville, the two Princesses of Equestria were taking the royal chariot to see exactly what it was that Twilight had summoned. Celestia, on the right, was very worried about the safety of her most faithful student, and her fellow Elements. She was also feeling guilty about how if anyone was hurt, it would be her fault.
Luna, on the other hoof, did not know what to feel.
"Sister, do you believe that these 'humans' are truly dangerous?" The Princess of the Moon asked her sister.
"I don't know, Luna. These 'humans' in the report seem like nothing more than savage beasts if they wished to eat a pony...but Twilight alluded to them being capable of speech and advanced thinking..." Celestia shook her head. "In all my years, I have never seen or heard of intelligent creatures actually choosing to eat other sentient creatures. It is a rather confusing situation."
The two sisters sat in silence for a few seconds longer, before Luna noticed the look on her elder sisters face. It was one of guilt.
"Tia...it was not your fault." Luna placed a hoof over her sisters back. "The letter did not say anyone was hurt. You did not know what would happen. You have nothing to feel guilt over." Luna said, trying to comfort the Princess of the Sun.
Celestia simply sighed, and did not respond for a while. When she did, it was unrelated to their previous topic. "We are almost there, Luna. Maybe we can get some answers."
The rest of the trip was sat in silence, until the chariot landed in front of Twilight Sparkles library. The princesses were prepared to go inside for this meeting, and so were surprised when the Elements and Spike were standing outside, surrounding something. No doubt these 'humans', trying to keep them out of the public eye, Celestia though to herself.
The chariot landed, and princesses of Sun and Moon alike stepped off, walking over to the Elements of Harmony. Twilight was the first to spot them, and she hurriedly bowed, quickly followed by the others.
"Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, we have a bigger problem than first anticipated." Twilight told the two princesses. Celestia had her full attention on Twilight, but Luna was somewhat...distracted by the bouncing pink mare who was vying for their attention.
"Twilight Sparkle, please, tell me everything that has happened since you sent the letter." Celestia asked. She did so with an urgency only seen twice before, when Nightmare Moon was freed, and when Discord ruled the lands. She stared at Twilight in a way that would pierce the soul of most. Twilight knew she didn't mean to be terrifying right now, but...
"Alright, well Princess..." Twilight began, before being cut off by Pinkie Pie.
"Oh, oh, I can tell the story? Pretty pretty please with a cherry on top?" The party-loving earth-pony asked in her usual elated fashion.
Twilight looked sceptical, and was going to tell her off when she saw the look on Celestias face.
"Pinkie Pie, I admire how you can remain so happy in such a dire situation. Please, do go on." Celestia complimented. She then cast a look at Twilight that said what harm could it do?
"Well first I was going to try and prank people with Dashie, but then Spike came along and he was all 'It's an emergency' and I was all 'okie-dokie-lokie' and then I raced Dashie and Spike to the library and I won and I was super happy! Then we went inside and Twilight told us about these two silly looking monkey thingies called 'hue-mans', and I was surprised! I know everybody, and I mean everybody in Ponyville, so it made no sense that I'd never met these silly hue-mans before! But Twilight had made them go to sleep by using her magic! Then we sent you a letter, and then we waited and it was super boring, but then you wrote back! Then one of the 'hue-mans' woke up and then pulled out this little gadget that started counting down. Then he said some mean stuff to me, and then he kicked us all out except for Rarity. Now they're talking, and I bet they'll be bestest friends!" Pinkie shot out in a single breath.
Nopony made a sound. They were all staring at the pink mare who was looking up at Princess Celestia with her big blue eyes. "Did I do good? Huh, Twilight? Did I? Did I? Huh, huh, huh?" Pinkie asked Twilight excitedly, while the unicorn in question just stared at her, simultaneously surprised at the speed at which Pinkie explained their predicament, and how the Princess had actually sat through the whole thing.
"Yes, Pinkie, you did very...good." Twilight said, causing a happy squeal to erupt from the pink mare, who proceeded to hop around the group happily. The rest of the Elements, Spike and Luna all looked exasperated, but Celestia looked quite amused.
"Alright, so to sum up Twilight, we have two humans who wish to eat other sentient life forms in there, alone, with Rarity." Celestia looked at her best student with a disappointed look.
"We assumed if any of us tried to listen in, then he would use that device to hurt us. So, unfortunately, yes, Rarity is alone." Twilight couldn't look the Princess in the eye. "Um, only one is awake. The other one is still unconscious. We don't know what gender this one is. It's...over there.
How Celestia and Luna had not noticed this before alluded the princesses both, and they walked over to the unconcious form of what the Elements knew as Geo. It was fully clothed, was wearing glasses, and had a small mane atop its head. The rest of it had no hair whatsoever. Its face was covered in pimples. It was also rather...large.
Applejack interrupted the Princesses train of thought.
"Actually, now that Ah think 'bout it, that was kinda a stupid thing ta do, Twilight," Applejack said out loud, though intended for herself. She turned to Spike. "Spike, maybe you could sneak a look in and listen ta what those two're talkin' 'bout."
Spike gave a little salute, and then quietly pried the door open, and tried to listen in. The Elements were standing there, unable to hear themselves.
"Well, Spike? What're they talking about?" Rainbow whispered to the baby dragon.
Spike looked surprised. 'They...they're talking about...my crush on Rarity!"
The Elements gasped, while the Princesses looked confused. They all knew about Spikes crush. What shocked them was how Christian could have possibly known.
"How did he..." Applejack started, before Pinkie once again cut in.
"Maybe he can read minds! Oh no! Our deepest, darkest secrets will be revealed, just like when the Cutie Mark Crusaders were Gabby Gums!" Pinkie gasped.
Twilight shook her head. "I doubt he could read minds. Even the princesses can't do that. And besides, that would take-"
"I DON'T LIKE HIM BACK! I DON'T HAVE A REAL REASON, I JUST...CAN'T LIKE HIM THE WAY HE WANTS!"
Everyone shut up and looked towards the door to the library. Not actually towards the door itself, but towards Spike, who was frozen in place.
Fluttershy spoke up, the first time the Princesses had heard her speak since they last met her. "Oh my goodness. Spike, are you-"
But Spike didn't hear them. He simply slammed the door shut, and ran off.
For the third time that day, everyone sat in complete silence.
"-alright?" Fluttershy finished quietly.
Suddenly, Rarity burst though the door, tears streaming down her face, and she ran off towards her boutique.
From inside the library, a voice could be heard. It seemed to be...chuckling.
"Let me see...next, I would like to speak with Pinkie Pie, si vous plais?" the voice from the library spoke.
Twilight looked at Celestia. "This...is what we've had to deal with."
Celestia stood up straight. "Don't worry girls. Luna and I will take care of this." With that, the princesses of the Sun and Moon walked into the library to confront this wicked creature. They closed the door behind them.
///
Christian looked at the two equines in front of him. He...did not approve. He did, however, run a quick analysis on the two in front of him.
Two equines, both with horns and wings.
First one tall, white coat and rainbow mane. Regal appearance, with a tiara and gold coverings over hoofs. Body structure suggests female. May be...royalty. Tattoo on flank of the sun. Facial expression expresses...confidence, but also kindness. Interesting.
Second one shorter, but still tall. Dark blue coat, medium blue mane. Tattoo of moon on flank. Also wearing regal-esque attire. Less confident.
Both probably not used to talk-back, considering status. Let me change that...
"If you do not recall, I asked for Pinkie Pie. You know, the annoying bundle of cotton-candy? I did not ask for whatever you two are."
Celestia looked down at the human before her, who was sitting on the ground in a cross-legged manner. She cleared her throat before she spoke.
"Human, I am Princess Celestia, ruler of the Sun and the Day. This is my sister, Luna, ruler of the Moon and the Night. We are the rulers of this land, and we demand that, since we are the highest authority Equestria has to offer, you show us some respect."
Luna gave her a look that said well said, sister.
Celestia watched as the human stood. Her eyes widened. He was taller than her! The human smiled, although both princesses doubted it was genuine.
"Oh, yes, of course, my apologies, Princesses. I had no idea I would be greeted by royalty." Christian took a bow. "Well then, ladies, my name is Christian. I am from a little place called Earth. I was taken here against my will, along with my roommate and friend Georgina." He paused. "Do not call her 'Georgina'. You will not get a pleasant reaction. Call her Geo."
"Well, Christian, we came here because you were described as a threat by my sisters student student. Apparently, you tried to eat a pegasus. Is this some sort of social norm where you hail from?" Luna asked the odd creature before her.
"No, of course not, Luna. I-"
"That is Princess Luna to you."
"Nevertheless, Luna, I only wished to eat your pegasus subject because I was hungry. Is that not what one does when one his hungry? Eat?" Christian asked, his voice filled with condescension.
Both of the Princesses were shocked. Not only did the human not express regret, or apologise for trying to eat Fluttershy, but he did not show the slightest but of respect for royalty, and had the gall to speak to them as if he were speaking to young fillies!
"Now listen here, Christian! You come into our land, try to kill one of our subjects and eat her, and then proceed to insult the Elements of Harmony, and make Rarity cry. You are a horrible creature. What do you have to say for yourself?" Celestia asked, raising her voice at Christian, hoping for a reaction, or submission. Anything.
"Hmm, what do I have to say for myself? What I have to say is I asked for Pinkie Pie, not you! So get out, or I will use the device in my pocket to blow you both into oblivion."
What disgusted both Luna and Celestia was that this creature not only threatened to kill them both, but he said it in such a way that made it seem as if he would find such a thing boring.
"Idle threats will get you nowhere, Christian. Now-"
Christian smirked, reached into the pocket of the strange garb he wore, and pulled out a small black device. He pressed a button, and suddnley...
"TEN. NINE. EIGHT. SEVEN. SIX-"
Celestia was quick to act, enveloping the device in her golden magic, and putting large amounts of pressure on the device. The device sparked, cracked, and was compacted into a ball. The Princess let it drop to the floor with a clang, and waited for Christian's reaction.
He simply stared at her, his eyes shining with a certain...suddenly, Princess Celestia felt as if she was going to be sick. As soon as she looked away from his eyes, she no longer felt queasy. Celestia simply looked at other parts of his face, which at the moment, were contorted with rage.
In a dark voice, Christian spoke to the two. "You take me from my world, against my will. You knock me unconscious over a simple misunderstanding. You drag me to this...library of sorts, and then, you crush my possessions."
He looked at the two of them, his face still showing pure rage. The Princesses were prepared for an outburst, when suddenly...
His face went back to normal, and his smirk returned.
"You really do not know how to treat guests properly."
Once more, the Princesses could not believe him. They just destroyed the only form of control over the situation he had, and yet he continues to act like he has the power.
Luna turned to Celestia. "I cannot handle talking to this creature any more unless we are treated with some respect!" Before Celestia could stop her, Luna turned to Christian and picked him up with her dark blue magic, and slammed him against the wall.
This causes a chuckle from the human. "Really? Have you two never had to speak to an unruly subject before?"
Even when physically threatened, he refused to admit defeat. Either he was an idiot, or he had some trick hidden away.
"No, we have not!" shouted Luna in her Royal Canterlot voice. "All of our subjects are loyal to us! We have never needed to resort to methods such as these before you arrived, human!"
Christian smirked once again. "So, what, you two are Diarchs?"
"Yes!"
"Oh, intersting! Has this always worked for you?"
"Yes!"
"Hmm...so you have never felt the need for absolute power? One of you over the other?"
This comment made both Princesses pause. He couldn't possibly know...could he?
"You know," Christian started, "in my world, monarchs do not last long. They all turn bad after a while. We do not trust them. One in particular, named Adolf Hitler, killed more than six million people over the course of twelve years. So, do not feel surprised that I show you no respect."
They were horrified. Never before had they heard of such slaughter. It was...they did not think it possible.
"Now, if you would not mind, I would like to be let down, and then I would like a private audience with Pinkie Pie." Christian asked calmly.
"Again Christian, you have no power in the situation. Why do you continue to act as if you do?" Celestia asked, confused. "Do all humans try to exert control in every situation?"
"Not all of us, no."
"Christian, we have heard the whole story from Twilight Sparkle, or rather, Pinkie Pie, but we haven't heard it from you. Would you mind explaining your side?"
Christian smiled. Genuinely.
"Indeed, I will. But only if this lets me continue with my interviews with the Elements."
"Oh, fine. Just...tell us how it happened." Luna growled.
"Alright, since you asked for it." Christian cleared his throat, and proceeded to tell his side of the events.
"It was an average day in my home city of Melbourne. I had just won another game of Mario Kart with Geo, and she had gone to the fridge to get me some Pepsi. She returned, and we began to argue over who the greater sex was. Then, without warning, a red portal opened up on the other side of the room.I was sucked in immediately.
"The next thing I remember was waking up with my face in a mud puddle with Geo standing over me. A few items had come with us, including the fridge. However, the fridge was for drinks only, and the other fridge that had our food did not come with us. So I suggested we go hunting.
"The next thing we know, we discover a pegasus, a creature that in my world is nothing more than a myth, with a butterfly tattoo and a large gem shard stuck in her arm. Pardon, fore-hoof. So, since we had no food, and humans do not function well without meat, I decided to take it with us back to camp to cook and eat. The pegasus I now know as Fluttershy decided it was a good time to wake up, kick me, and fly up a tree. Then she started speaking.
"Mind you, talking animals are not exactly common in my world, so I was surprised when she began screaming for help. I believed it at the time to be a simple parlor trick, and still wanted to get the damned thing down. Of course, it then began actual conversation with Geo, who tried to coax her down. Geo argued with me about wanting to eat her, and I argued back saying that I no longer wished to now that i knew she was sentient, allowing your 'faithful student' the pompous fashion designer and the dragon-yet-to-be to sneak up on us.
"They levitated us off of the ground, which I still maintain to be scientifically impossible, and then knocked us unconscious. Next thing I know, I awake in here, looking at six talking horses and a bipedal lizard sending a letter into thin air. I made my presence known, tricked them with my little 'doomsday device', which I assure you is nothing more than a phone that can play sound affects, and asked for an interview with each of them.
"I interviewed Rarity, and cause her extreme emotional pain. She was there in the forest, and is one of the reason I am here now, so I took my vengeance. It also seemed to have a profound affect on Spike. Good. Anyway, then you show up, trying to command me into submission, and levitating me again, destroying a rather expensive piece of equipment, and then telling me to tell you what happened, which I just did.
"Now, if you will excuse me, I still have an interview with the...charming Pinkie Pie. If you would vacate the premises, then I can get started, and be out of your main faster."
The two sisters stood there, absorbing the information they had just been relayed, piece by piece. They were confused as to what Mario Kart and Pepsi were at first, but those thoughts left their minds as Christian told the rest of the tale. By the end of it, they had some form of understanding as to what had happened, though they were not entirely happy with Christians taunting of Rarity.
"We need to discuss this in private. We...will leave you with Pinkie Pie."
"Excellent. You could not have made a better choice. Now shoo." Christian smirked once again as he shooed the Princesses out of the room, and ushered Pinkie Pie in, much to their chagrin.
"Hiya, Christian! Remember me? I'm Pinkie Pie! You said some mean stuff earlier, but I forgive you!" Pinkie said, still bouncing up and down. This annoyed Christian to no end, and he put his original plan into action.
"Pinkie, I do not like you." he said simply, causing Pinkie to stop bouncing, and to stay in midair just long enough to defy physics before dropping to the ground.
"Now, I am going to tell you exactly why I do not like you.
"You are overly happy, which is usually an indication that you are either on some sort of narcotic, or are secretly depressed and are trying to hide it. You are the kind of person who thrives on attention, a social butterfly, who cannot stand to be alone. Your 'friends' are probably aware of your depression, and simply hang around you to try and make you feel better about yourself. They do not really care about you. They do not want to be there, but the feel guilted by you."
"But I-"
"This interview is over. Run along home now, Pinkie Pie. Or even better, do what everyone else really wants you to do, go jump off of a bridge."
Pinkie sat there on her haunches, looking up at Christian with her big blue eyes. Slowly, they began to water up, and as her hair deflated (something Christian was going to ask about, but decided against it), she burst into tears.
"WAAAAAAHA-HA-HA-HAAAAAA!"
Pinkie's tears flowed out like a river, drenching the floor. She turned, and just as Rarity did before her, ran out of the library, bolting through the door, and charging back to Sugar Cube Corner.
Christian stood there, wide eyed.
That...was quick.
That was the next (somewhat cruel) step in the chain of events circling around the stragest creatures in all of Equestria, Christian and Georgina
Sorry, Geo.
///
Author note: Next chapter is set outside the library, and the Elements reawaken Geo, and give her an interview of their own. Enjoy!