“This is soooo boring,” May said, as she flopped, half falling out of the back seat.
I chuckled. May had woken up when we pulled into a rest stop so Stephanie could make calls and do agenty stuff. At first, May was thrilled at the notion of helping more ponies and running with a SWAT team to the rescue. Then, the reality of phone calls and information gathering started to grind, and her excitement dropped off big time.
“It’s investigative work,” I said, stroking Sam’s back. “The real stuff’s usually pretty dull.”
“Yeah, I know it isn’t like TV, but we’re not doing anything,” she complained. “We’re just… waiting.”
“Good things come to those who wait,” I said.
“Thank you Master Applejack. I mean, Rae Jay. Sorry.” She looked away briefly, her thoughtful expression reminding me more of Sweetie than May. When she turned back, she was all May again. “But really? Got any other fortune cookie wisdom for me?”
“She who bucks early, bucks often,” I replied, with a smirk.
“Great, new AJ is a smart-ass.”
“An apple bucked is an apple earn-”
“Okay! Okay, I get it! You’re clever now,” she laughed.
“And you are wise, squirt,” I said.
May rolled her eyes with a “hmph!” “Don’t call me squirt, hayseed,” she muttered, giving me a side-eye and a smile.
I grinned at her.
“Okay, we got a hit,” Stephanie said, leaning down in the window. She’d been on her cellphone for the last hour or so, making calls and typing at a laptop perched on the roof of the car.
“Turns out… Erishy?” she said, looking to me. I nodded. “Yeah, turns out she had to help Apple Bloom with the little filly’s room just before the group went through an airport security checkpoint in Oklahoma. Our contact with the group reported she started acting odd after that. He chalked it up to nerves, but we’ve appraised him of the situation and he’s keeping an eye on things.”
She ran a hand through her hair as she turned from her laptop to a notebook. I appreciated the old school touch. Even after I got my Android, I still liked to jot down notes by hand- I mean, by hoof, on occasion.
“So, I had security show me the footage closest to the bathroom,” Stephanie continued. “I saw her go in with Bloom, then Apple Bloom came out alone. While Apple Bloom was waiting at the bathroom’s exit, a pink and blue-maned pony went in.”
“Yeah?” I asked.
“Yep. And it looks like your changeling idea was right. A separate camera feed caught a changeling turning into the same pink and blue-maned pony. She was out of the line of sight of the agent sitting on the bathroom.”
“I knew it,” I said through gritted teeth.
Stephanie nodded. “Yeah, so the changeling went in, then Flut- I mean, Erishy came out.”
“Yeah?” I said. “Think that was the changeling?”
“Yeah,” Stephanie growled. “Because nearly right after Erishy-”
“Fakey-shy,” I said.
Stephanie raised her eyebrow.
“She ain’t my friend. She’s Fakey-shy,” I said, firmly.
Stephanie rolled her eyes, and snorted. “Okay, so about right after Fakey-shy left with Bloom, a woman with a suitcase that could easily fit a pegasus ducked inside.”
“Really,” I said, my tone flat. “Don’t expect she came out with the suitcase lookin’ the same?”
“No. She came out with a much fuller looking one. Fuller and lumpier. Then, she left without going through security, seeing anyone off, or getting on a flight. She managed to keep her face hidden too.”
“Sounds like our ponynapper to me,” I said. I scrunched up my face, concerned. “But not even a good look?”
Stephanie shook her head. “Nope. She was good. But not so good that she kept the luggage tag hidden,” she said, with a victorious smile. “We got a few good shots of it, so I sent the raw video file to my computer guys. They’re messing with the file right now to see if they can get a clearer look at the address on the tag.”
“That’s great news Steph!” I said. “Thanks for all your help.”
“Thanks for picking up on Fluttershy going OOC. How’d you do that, by the way? Are you a lie detector with that thing?” she asked, pointing to the Element around my neck.
I shook my head, amused. “Nah, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it gave me a nudge. Fakey-shy said a few things… definitely not ‘Shy. The more she talked, the less she sounded like my friend and more like a stranger.”
“Couldn’t it have been because of how she fused?” Stephanie asked.
“Nope,” I said. “I may sound different, but I’m still me. So ‘Shy’s still gonna be ‘Shy, just like all my other friends’ll still be themselves. In a way. Maybe I’m bein’ presumptuous, but after all we’ve been through, I’ve learned there’s parts of ‘em that just won’t budge even with all this merging stuff going’ on.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Though, I’m still confused how nopony else caught on.”
“I was told they’ve been pretty busy,” Stephanie replied, sighing. “But trust me when I say someone, somewhere is losing their job over this.”
I flinched. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”
“I know,” Stephanie said, opening to a new page in her notepad. “But with everything we have on the line, we can’t afford screw ups. Your and Discord’s arrival is making and breaking a lot of careers for the Agency.”
I sighed. I knew the thinking. While Sweet Apple Acres is a family business, every now and then, we’d have more work than hooves, so we’d have to take on extra bodies. I’d had to let more than a few ponies go when Mac or I caught them slacking off on the job. It didn’t really affect my regular seasonal hires- they were solid and knew their business- but the hoofful of stragglers kipped right up when they saw Mac and I were serious.
Most times, I didn’t even bat an eye. I could spot the problem ponies pretty early on. But, sometimes, ponies came to honest work and they couldn’t hack it. Maybe they weren’t for the work, or maybe something off the farm was distracting them. Either way, they had to be cut. I’d tell those cases to try again next season. I was pretty sure the CIA didn’t work that way.
“Another reason this may have got by us,” Stephanie said, breaking into my thoughts. “Pinkie Pie isn’t with the group right now.”
“She ain’t?!” I rose up on my legs, new panic running through me.
“Easy. She stayed in town with Shining Armor, Princess Cadance, Gilda, and a... Harold Fralick to do a TV interview…” Stephanie checked her notepad again and nodded. “While Apple Bloom, Erishy, and their two human friends, a Jacqueline Lavoie and Virginia Brown, took a red-eye into New York City.”
Tapping my chin in thought, I nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense. With Pinkie out, the closest pony to her would be Bloom, and she mostly knows ‘Shy as a foalsitter. Fakey-shy could play off a lot as bein’ under stress.” I frowned, my anger rising at the thought of my sister in the company of such a no-good sidewinder. I took some slow breaths to get myself under control.
“How long do you think it’s gonna take your computer guys?” I asked.
“Not long. Say what you will about the TSA, but they’re always begging for better cameras these days, so it certainly makes our jobs easier.”
“I never thought I’d be so happy to root for The Man,” May said, coming to stand next to me. “What fresh hell have you dragged me into you hayseed?”
“Big, wide, weird world, squirt,” I replied, mussing her mane again.
May grinned up at me from under a mane that was more mess than it wasn’t. Realizing I hadn’t seen soap since Max hosed me down and I didn’t smell too good myself, I asked Stephanie if we could get a room for the night. Or at least find a place with a shower.
“Let’s see where this lead will take us,” she said, raising her phone. “Then we’ll make overnight plans.”
“Yeah, RJ. We could be totally winging it in the SHIELD helicarrier depending on how this goes down,” May said.
“Woo!” Alphonse said from where he’d been working in the front seat. “I wouldn’t mind that.”
“No shit,” Stephanie said with a smile. “Can you imagine having Agent Coulson for a boss?”
“Don’t we already?” Alphonse said, chuckling from his seat.
“Jacobs is not Coulson. For all that they’re both missing the same amount of hair,” Stephanie retorted. “Coulson... is cool.”
I was distracted from the conversation by Sam, whining from behind me. I turned, and she wagged her tail looking forlorn and hopeful.
“Need to go out, girl?” I asked.
She yipped her confirmation.
“I gotta walk the wonder hound. I’ll be just over there,” I told Stephanie, pointing a hoof at a treeline.
Stephanie nodded, so I hopped out of the car, and Sam stuck close by. Again, I was amazed at how well behaved Sam was. She came when I called, followed my commands- she was pretty good for a stray puppy who had been little more than fur over bones when I found her.
“Really, you’re the best,” I said, scratching her behind her ears. “Sticking with me after I nearly get you killed? That’s loyalty. Dash could take a lesson.”
Sam barked and trotted into a copse of trees where she sniffed around. As I waited, I looked out at the rest stop we’d parked in. It was pretty crowded.
Lots of New York state plates, a handful of Jersey, and one from Missouri. Some of the cars looked like they were trying to get into the city and guilt bit at me. Back when I’d first changed, my best friend, Max, had offered to drive us into New York. If I hadn’t run when Matthews showed up, if I had handled things like an adult, Max could have had me in the city days ago. And without the hassle I went through.
I pushed the feeling aside. Stewing wasn’t going to do me any good. I had to focus on helping Erishy. I couldn’t do that with a gut full of guilt.
As I waited on Sam, I noticed a guy was sitting on a nearby picnic table with an acoustic guitar in his lap. He looked to be in his early forties with dark brown hair that stuck nearly straight up and large hands matching his long frame. A few other people milled around, watching him play.
While he didn’t play expertly, he made up for it in energy and passion. He clearly cared about what he was strumming and I think the few people who’d stopped to listen were incidental. When he finished, he looked up, blinked, and smiled awkwardly to a smattering of light applause.
“Uh, thanks,” he said. “Everyone drive safe.”
He got down from the picnic table and walked over to the vending machine. Feeling neighborly, I went over to him. Sam caught up once she was done with her business.
“That’s some mighty fine pickin’, sir,” I said as he fed a dollar into the machine.
He turned, then looked down.
“Howdy,” I said.
He smiled, amused. “Afternoon,” he said. “Thanks for the kind words, stranger.” He returned his attention to the vending machine.
“How long you been playin’?” I asked.
“Twenty years, off and on,” he replied getting a Coke and his change. “It’s more of a hobby. I’m a history teacher.”
“Man of wisdom and music. You must be beatin’ ‘em off with a stick.”
He chuckled. “Not really,” he said. “That’s the young man’s game and I’m married.” He held up his hand and wiggled the ring finger adorned with a simple band.
“Not surprisin’,” I replied.
He cracked open his soda and sipped it giving me a little look.
“So you’re part of this whole… pony thing?” he asked.
“I am. A lot of folk know me as Applejack, but you can call me Rae Jay,” I said, offering my hoof.
He got down on his haunches and shook. “Hi Rae Jay, I’m Greg.”
“Pleasure to meetcha, Greg,” I said. “You play a mean Tennessee flattop box.”
That earned another chuckle and he rose, taking another swig from his soda.
“Well, thank you for your praise, Rae Jay. Are you headed to New York, right now?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Well if you manage to make it in, I sometimes play with my band at Therapy,” he said. “It’s a lounge in Hell’s Kitchen. Don’t let the neighborhood name scare you- it’s a good place.”
“See what I can do, Greg. May have to come over once my friends and I take care of Discord,” I replied.
“Take care of- Oh, you mean that’s not just a very nice necklace.”
“Nope. Element of Honesty.”
Greg cocked his head at me. “May I?”
“Sure,” I replied and stepped forward so he could bend down and look at it.
I don’t know how the other girls felt about their Elements, but I was proud of mine. It represented something deep and true between us, connecting us even when we were separated. Pardon me if I liked showing that off from time to time.
“It’s warm,” Greg said, running a thumb over the apple gem.
“Usually is,” I said. “Just showed up for me this morning. No idea why it took so dang long.”
“Another sentient species, magical necklaces...” Greg said with a small smile. “Truly we live in a time of wonders.”
He ran his thumb one last time across the gem and stood up. He had a delighted twinkle in his eye.
“Well, I hope you can beat this Discord character,” he replied. “He’s making it hell for me to get back to my husband.”
I didn’t miss a beat. “Traffic’s that bad?” I asked.
He nodded, looking slightly relieved. I guess it was the accent. Folk’s hear the South and they’re worried we’re gonna be all uptight. Hope Equestria stays connected to Earth somehow. Maybe we could show them a thing or two about treating love well.
“I’ve tried getting in this morning, but traffic’s been backed up for miles. I know that Discord made a mess of things, but I didn’t think it would be this bad. I waited so long, I had to sneak across the median to the nearest exit and gas up. This is my second try.”
“Lands,” I muttered. “Good luck, Greg. I got me an escort but…” I blinked. “Actually. Hey- can you hang on for a minute?”
He cocked his head at me, clearly confused, but he nodded and leaned against one of the brick pillars of the vending machine pavilion. I galloped back to the black sedan to find Stephanie on her cell. She smiled at me. Alphonse was giving Greg a very hard look
“Made a friend?” he asked.
“Yeah, Greg. Nice guy. He’s having trouble gettin’ in the city. Can we help him out?”
Alphonse blinked, then squinted at me. “Help him out?”
“Yeah, he’s tryin’ to get back to his husband, and traffic’s so bad he already had to gas up. He’s a history teacher; I can’t imagine what that’s like on his salary.”
Alphonse ran a thumb along the steering wheel, looking into the middle distance. He blinked slowly and came to a decision.
“Maybe…” he said. “Get him over here.”
I waved Greg over. He jogged toward us lightly, his guitar bouncing against his back.
“Hey,” he said. “Uh… What’s up?”
“Greg, this here is Agent Alphonse and he’d like to help ya get home.”
Greg laughed, smiling. “Okay, this is definitely a surprise.”
Greg and Alphonse talked and Alphonse got on his radio. About ten minutes later a State Trooper vehicle rolled up.
“Someone call for the cavalry?” asked a woman in a wide-brimmed hat with aviator shades.
“Yeah, um. Yes,” Greg said, his little smile still in place. “This is kind of overwhelming.”
“It’s a kindness,” I told Greg. “I got plenty of ‘em on my trip here so I’m payin’ it forward.”
He smiled wider at that and got down on his haunches again.
“Thank you Rae Jay,” he said. “You really didn’t have to-”
“Hush. Get back to your boy. Stay safe. I got bad guy butt to whip.”
He nodded, standing and stared out at the parking lot for a moment. His lips tightened and he looked back to me. “Actually, can someone else take my spot?” he asked.
The state trooper raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“I was talking to this woman, Sara. Her husband got hospitalized while she and her kids were out of town. They’ve been trying to get back in for the last few days without any luck. Can they take my place?”
I smiled at Greg, impressed. “That’s mighty kind of you sir.”
He nodded. “Yeah, well… seems the right thing to do.”
“Know the feelin’,” I replied, smiling up at him.
The state trooper shook her head. “You two are giving me diabetes. Look, you don’t have to give up your ‘spot.’ I can get another unit here so I can get both of you in the city, but that’s it. Any more and we’ll have everyone sneaking in.”
“What?” Greg asked, shocked.
“Go talk to… Sara? And tell her to get in behind me. You get behind her and I’ll have another vehicle follow us from the rear. We should be able to get everyone in the city within the hour.”
“That’s… That’s wow. Wow. Thank you,” Greg stammered.
“You’re welcome,” the state trooper said. “I have a daughter too, so I can guess how she feels.”
“What’s your name?” Greg asked.
“Molly,” she said, offering her hand. “Molly Noble.”
“Thank you so much, Molly. I’ll- I’ll be right back!” Greg said, pumping her hand and laughing.
As Molly hopped on her radio to summon the other state trooper, Greg turned to look at me. “Look, be careful, okay?” he said. “I don’t know what’s all of what’s going on, but you seem like a real stand-up gal and I’d hate to see you end up hurt or-”
“Never say die,” I interjected, smiling. “I’m gonna get with my girls and we’re gonna kick Discord into the next county. No lie.”
“Guess it isn’t,” he replied. “I better get to my car.”
“That’s a good idea,” I said with a laugh.
“Thanks again Rae Jay. Alphonse. Molly,” he said, nodding to everyone. He then jogged toward a minivan where a woman sat with the door open as four kids of varying ages milled around, playing with their phones or staring off into space. Her head came up as Greg shouted to her, guitar bouncing on his back.
May stepped up beside me and nudged me with her hoof.
I looked down.
“You really inspire chronic hero syndrome, you know that?” she said.
I shrugged. “Seems like the right thing to do.”