WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING? I DON’T UNDERSTAND! ETERNAL NIGHT, WHAT? DID SOMEONE DRUG MY DRINK, IS THIS NIGHTMARE MOON JUST A DREAM?
Okay, I have to calm down, that’s what Cherilee told me when I freaked out at the ceremony. But for real, I don’t think this Nightmare Moon just want eternal night, I have seen enough cheesy musicals to know what this bitch want, to rule the world! I mean she said she had kidnapped Princess Celestia! Sweet Ears says I have to be more optimistic, but come on there is no way somepony is going to beat Nightmare Moons ass if she is more powerful than Princess Celestia.
I heard that some ponies were going to defeat her but I’m 99% sure that they are not going to success. I bet Celestia is dead already, did you see how Nightmare Moon hit those guard with lightnings from her eyes? This is absolutely it, those crazy gipsy hags sure is happy, their predictions where right. The end is near! And our only chance is 6 mares.
To succeed and save the world they have to cross the everfree forest, but will their personality get in the way? Will Rainbow Dash be able to give a fuck? Will Pinkie Pie shut up for once? Will Applejack not be a fucking moron? Will Fluttershy actually do shit without either crying or dying? Will Rarity not act like she is the queen of everything? Will this Canterlot bitch Twilight not bitch about how much better she is and how she hates everypony? By you copy of “The end of Equestria” to find out!I should totally be a writer. Then maybe my drinking problem will be accepted and I don’t have to go to this stupid therapist.
I heard that those six mares were going to save the princess by walking through the Everfree forest or some shit and I couldn’t help but laugh my ass off. I mean I went to school with some of those ponies, they are the most annoying bitches I have ever met. Rarity has always been an attention seeking whore who would do anything to be in the spotlight. In second grade she stole Cheerilee’s first coltfriend and then dumped him after a week. Greedy brat.
Even if Rainbow Dash lives in Clouds Dale she works to clear the skies in Ponyville. Since she can do that in “10 seconds flat” she either sleeps or shows off. She has to be the best, and if she isn’t, she’ll destroy the best so she is the only one left. Lazy show-off.
Applejack is just annoying. Every weekend she stands and sell her apples at the square. If you walk by or glare at here she will try to make you buy her apples. She acts like she knew everyone since kindergarten and only talks about her damn family. “Want to by some apples?” No! Annoying country mare.
Fluttershy is the worst. You can’t even talk with her. She is always hanging out with her animals and her special talent is that she can talk to them. Bullcrap. There are many rumors about her, for example, I heard she slept with a bear. But I think she deserves it, she is so shy she can’t even tell her name without having to repeat it like a hundred times so anyone can hear. And everypony is acting like they feel sorry for her, like she has an illness or something. Even If she tried to make friends nopony would really want to be her friend because she is so damn shy. And how ironic is it that every damn stallion is in love with her, like do you think being shy is sexy? Is that the case? Hoe.
And don’t get me started on Pinkie Pie. Sure, sometimes she throws great parties with free alcohol but she is so damn annoying. Nobody cares about what she has to say anyway, it’s not like she is my friend. Yuck, did I mention how slutty she is. I do not know anypony who haven’t had sex with her, not kidding. Slut.
And then we have Twilight something magical. Whatever, I do not care what her name is. I mean the rest of the ponies are bitches, but she is the biggest bitch of them all. Just because she is the princess most faithful student and have a baby dragon and an own apartment in Canterlot doesn’t mean she have to be a bitch about it. “Yeah, I am so much better then all of you” “I have a baby dragon” “I am so much smarter then all you rednecks in Ponyville”. Freak.
What am I doing? We are all going to die and I’m here writing a fucking diary. Pathetic. Maybe someone will find this in like thousands of years or so. Jokes on them, they’ll will think this is some ancient book with all the answers they need for this thing that are going to destroy the world. Hah.
I should totally go and get myself some alcohol, like right now.
Okay so I just sat in my apartment, staring into the everlasting night and then suddenly the sun just rise. Like what the fuck Celestia, didn’t she die? So I went outside to see what happened. Just as me, everypony was confused and nopony knew what was going on. All the ponies waited in like an hour and then Princess Celestia and some other blue alicorn were in a golden cart. And then those disgusting six mares showed up all happy and friends. Celestia then told everypony what happened.
Apparently Nightmare Moon was only some evil sister to Celestia and was banished to the moon or some shit, but now she was all nice or something. And then, just when that bitch Twilight was about to leave she decided to stay here in Ponyville because “She had learn the values of friendship”. What bullshit. Now she will live in that library which is a little too close to my apartment.
I have a session with Sweet Ears tomorrow, shit. I hope she has a better solution then this diary ‘cause it is not working. This is the worst day of my life. But is it really a day? I mean the sun was like 4 hours late. This is the worst almost-day of my life. Yeah.