Dear Princess Celestia
Don’t mess with the Pinkie Pie.
Rainbow Dash
That is all Rainbow Dash wanted to put in a friendship letter to Princess Celestia, but Twilight Sparkle wouldn’t have it. Even while her injured and twitching body was being escorted home in pain, her simple lesson couldn’t be summed up in so few words.
She couldn’t understand why. She learnt a lesson. She learnt it well. Why couldn’t Twilight Sparkle see that? It was the lesson about friendship she learnt the hard way, and she only wanted to relay what she found out. After all, the Princess herself told them all to send her the lessons only when they happen to discover them.
And this was a pretty darn good lesson. But could Rainbow Dash put only that? No, of course not. Because the Princess’s own protégé student wouldn’t let her. She wasn’t physically able to write the letter, no matter how hard she was nagged at to do so. The pain was too much at the time.
But what pain?
Why it’s simple; the pain from the source of ‘punishment’ that Rainbow Dash received the previous day from the creature that can be known as Pinkiecus Piecus (Twilight was still trying to approve the name to scientists. They found it rather silly, which is why it wasn’t going anywhere). It was a bit of common knowledge that Pinkie Pie enjoyed a prank or messing around during the course of a day. But if you did that again the next day, actually messing with her feelings or taking advantage of her, then it was a whole different story.
You’d flee. Not just to your house, not to a friend’s. No, you went to the ends of Equestria. Hell, you might even have to go further, for no matter how hard you tried; your life was in danger. It seems Rainbow Dash forgot about one of the rules of Pinkie Pie while she had fun with Sweetie Belle, and suffered the consequences as a result.
Sweetie Belle was fine for the most part. The aftermath was something she found hard to believe, watching Rainbow Dash being carried out of the library groaning and looking genuinely damaged. She was worried about her no doubt, but Twilight managed to keep Sweetie Belle entertained long enough to drop the subject and not leave her scarred for the rest of her life.
She enjoyed the rest of her day too. Twilight helped her out with some magic, actually presenting the cloud walking spell on Pinkie Pie in front of the young filly as she carried her victim back to the cloud home. After she had left, Twilight taught and even let Sweetie Belle practice some more basic spells. Twilight had taken her back home to the Carousel later, where Rarity was worried sick. She had heard the news of what Rainbow Dash had done, and she almost had a heart attack knowing her little sister was involved.
In fact, the news travelled quite quickly. Rainbow Dash even got her name in the headline in a newspaper.
‘PINK TERROR STRIKES AGAIN. RAINBOW DASH VICTIMISED.’
Her friends were very quick to find the truth. They had all gathered quickly in the library to discuss future plans while Pinkie Pie finished taking care of Rainbow Dash. Even though her friend did something some might find extreme, Pinkie Pie was a very forgiving pony, and she would go by Rainbow Dash’s house the following day to make amends. In fact, all of her friends planned to see her at some point.
Rainbow Dash herself was in a terrible state. It hurt just to open her eyes. Groaning even more about her current predicament, she got familiar with her surroundings. Even though she was in her own home, she remained on alert. She didn’t want a pink pony to appear when she was unaware. She was especially careful about the basket of muffins placed on the table next to her.
You see, when Pinkie Pie took Rainbow Dash home, she left her a present; a basket of muffins she baked herself. Pinkie Pie might be dangerous, but she always cared for her friends in need. In this case, she had whipped up a batch specifically for when one of her friends became ill or needed time away. She even left a card.
Dashie
Get well soon!
Pinkie Pie xoxoxo
“How ironic” was the first thing that came to Rainbow Dash when she finally read the card. Yeah, the pony that did this to her was also the one that wished her good health. And now she was terrified. She was unsure if the muffins themselves contained ingredients that would add to Pinkie Pie’s torture or if the pony in question would pop out of the basket herself at any time.
But that was only one of the marks that Pinkie Pie left behind. When she wanted to punish a pony, she really meant it. She had plucked out numerous amounts of Rainbow Dash’s feathers, making her incapable of flying. She also removed every Daring Do book she had in her house, making sure she’d have time to ‘lie down and think about what she did’, as Pinkie Pie put it.
Her other friends did question if that punishment was a bit too much when Pinkie Pie told them what she did, but they were afraid about ticking off the mare themselves so soon after the incident. They even considered writing the same exact letter that Rainbow Dash had to write to the Princess.
The letter. Rainbow Dash didn’t want to write it, but she would have to when Twilight came by her house. It was still the morning, and Pinkie Pie was oh so kind to let her weather team know that she wouldn’t be able to make it to work that day.
Rainbow Dash slowly sat up in her bed. It hurt just to bend her back, and ultimately decided to just keep rotating the two positions of lying down and sitting up to prevent moving too much. She reached a hoof behind her back to rub along the parts where it hurt. And that was just the case. All of it hurt. She could also feel the missing feathers of her wings. Pinkie Pie wasn’t a savage monster, and she made sure only to take the minimal amount of feathers from Rainbow Dash to prevent her from flying.
It was as if she planned the entire thing.
But luckily for Rainbow Dash, her wings would be back to normal the next day. Her feathers grow unrealistically fast, meaning she’d be up and about within a whole day. But that also meant she couldn’t move for that time. And that was the downside.
Flying was what she loved. It was her passion, and she wouldn’t be able to fly for an entire day. And she couldn’t read any Daring Do either. At least when she was in hospital with her damaged wing, she had the first one of the series. Here, it was just torture. And it had only been a few minutes! Yep, she was already bored.
There was nothing fascinating about her house either. It was just a standard house in the sky. As if the very idea of remembering where she bought the furniture would be exciting in the slightest. She groaned loudly, not really caring if anypony saw her mental depression.
She would have Tank to keep her company, but Fluttershy insisted that she take him for the day. Tank in the vicinity of an injured Rainbow Dash wouldn’t bode well. If Tank did something dangerous, Rainbow Dash wouldn’t be able to do anything. And for that reason, Fluttershy wouldn’t accept any argument to let the tortoise stay in her house. Actually, there was no other argument. Fluttershy grabbed Tank in the middle of the night, politely leaving a note for Rainbow Dash. Even that one was ironic too, since Fluttershy actually wrote saying she would take Tank only if Rainbow Dash wouldn’t mind. Rainbow Dash didn’t even have a choice.
What felt like hours passed before the first guest arrived. A few knocks at the door became one of her holy moments, escaping the boredom of her room. Finally, somepony to talk to! With an over the top message to allow the guest in, the first pony was an orange earth pony with a stetson. She wasn’t wearing it either, she held it by her side with a hoof.
“Applejack!” Rainbow Dash threw her hooves in the air, but was met with a soaring pain. She cringed as she gently lowered them.
“Y’all okay Sugarcube?” Applejack had a fantastic bedside voice. It was very calming and soft.
“Why of course,” she replied in a sarcastic tone, “I’m on top of the world here.”
“Just makin’ sure.” Applejack was now standing beside the bed where Rainbow Dash laid.
Rainbow Dash sighed. “I’m fine at the moment AJ. Just bored.” Applejack saw the muffins and the card, and asked politely if she could read it. “Go ahead.”
Applejack read the card Pinkie Pie had read, and had the same reaction as Rainbow Dash.
“Did she...”
“Yup. Ironic huh?”
“I guess so.” Applejack looked around the room. “So anythin’ I can do for ya?”
“I don’t know. Unless you have Daring Do in that hat or something, I’m just staying here all day.” Applejack chuckled but brought attention to her stetson.
“I don’t have that.” Applejack reached into her hat and drew out a different book, placing the hat on her head moments after. “I did bring you this though.” As Applejack brought it closer to Rainbow Dash, it looked very familiar. Rainbow Dash didn’t even question how Applejack hid a book so huge and heavy looking in her hat, but she guessed dark matter might have something to do with it, as Twilight might suggest. Or maybe Pinkie Pie taught her a few things about physics.
She’d seen the exact same book a few days ago. But when? And what exactly was it? On closer inspection, she recognised the cover. It was the dating guide that Twilight was reading. The haunting came back to her as she remembered the conversation they had the other day.
“Whoa nelly, there’s no need to get so excited.” Rainbow Dash looked in confusion as she turned around. Once again, her wings were excited. Grunting, Rainbow Dash snatched the book, letting Applejack chuckle.
“Why bring me this though? I already know about dating.” It was obvious that Applejack didn’t agree with that comment when Rainbow Dash saw she had one eyebrow higher than the other. “Ok, I admit it. I’m not the most romantic pony or one who can get tied down in a relationship. But still, why bring me this if I’m not planning anything?”
It was then that Rainbow Dash’s eyes expanded, and Applejack grinned.
“You brought this because of...” Applejack’s face didn’t change. “Fluttershy?” She nodded, and Rainbow Dash sighed. “As much as I hate it, I have to turn her down.”
Applejack gave Rainbow Dash a quizzical look. “What are ya talking about?”
“I can’t see myself in a relationship with her. You know my past; I’m bound to hurt her feelings at some point. I have to let her know soon so she doesn’t develop anything more towards me.”
Applejack seemed lost. “Relationship?”
“Yeeeeah,” Rainbow Dash replied with question herself, “You told me she had feelings for me.”
Applejack remained silent before bursting into laughter. “Oh that’s a good an!” Rainbow Dash was not amused.
“Hey! What’s so funny?”
“You see Rainbow, she don’t have a crush on ya.” Rainbow Dash was confused even more.
“Wait, she doesn’t? But you told me-“
“I told ya she wanted to try out the toys wit’ ya. She don’t feel anything more.”
“Then why has she been avoiding me?”
Applejack lifted her hoof to her chin. “Hmm, could be that she’s nervous in asking you. You know. “Applejack got in closer to Rainbow Dash’s ear. “Because she’s shy.” Applejack raised her hooves in the air to pretend it was a huge deal. She started laughing at the joke until she saw Rainbow Dash’s unamused response. She got serious again. “I think she’s mighty desperate Rainbow, but she ain’t got the courage to ask you.”
“So she only wants a good time with the Dash? No strings attached?”
Applejack waved her hoof in the air, uncertain of the response. “I guess.”
Rainbow Dash looked at the book. “So this contains what exactly?”
Applejack perked up. “It contains everything from asking a pony out to...” Applejack coughed before continuing, “positions”.
Rainbow Dash’s curiosity got the better of her, as she opened the book to look at the contents. Low and behold, there it was. There were certainly tips and tricks for things like that! Opening up a random page in the section, the page contained a picture of one pony on top of the other. Next to the diagram were some annotations detailing certain mechanics involved. The amount of the detail put into the descriptions was a little... exact.
Both ponies just stared at the page, blushes on both of their faces. No activity happened as their eyes just scanned the page, waiting or hoping for the other to say something. Deciding that enough was enough, Applejack moved slightly away from the detailed diagram.
“Rarity loves that one.” Sounds of creaking gears could be heard as Rainbow Dash rotated her head at a snail-like pace towards Applejack. Applejack coughed and tried to rub off the awkwardness with her pearly whites.
“So,” spoke Rainbow Dash with little confidence, “I should check out some of these and try them out with Fluttershy?”
“Yeah,” replied Applejack with certainty, “Read through a bunch, it ought a surprise her. That’s if you’re going through with it that is.”
Rainbow Dash flicked through a few of the pages containing various pictures. She was unsure of something.
“Uh AJ? I’m not seeing where the toys fit into this.” Applejack put her hoof on Rainbow Dash’s shoulder.
“You’ll know,” spoke Applejack in a soothing voice, “When it’s time.”
Rainbow Dash didn’t like philosophy, fate or anything that sounded lame like that. “I don’t get it. But whatever.”
“Well ok then! I have to get back and continue my chores. It was nice seeing ya Rainbow. Oh and one more thing! You know you said with that ‘no strings attached’? One of them foreplays involves string.”
Rainbow Dash slowly leaned back in her bed as Applejack got further away, ignoring the fact that string could be applied in certain situations. Applejack leaving was also something that Rainbow Dash was wondering.
“Hey Applejack, I understand the cloud walking spell, but how did you get up here. You know, in the sky?”
“Fluttershy was kind enough to create what she called a ‘cloud elevator’. Ponies stand on it; it takes ‘em to their destination.”
Rainbow Dash was shocked. Fluttershy never worked with clouds before. She was a pegasus indeed, but she would bail at any chance when clouds were involved. Maybe doing this really showed how much Fluttershy cared for her.
Makes me want her more now.
Rainbow Dash didn’t say a word. As her mind trailed off towards the deep end, Applejack waved to her, starting her return to the farm. As Applejack opened the door to leave, she paused for a few moments. Rainbow Dash tilted her head at the idle movement. After a few seconds, Applejack closed the door slowly while still inside and turned to Rainbow Dash. Her expression was much less happy to say the least.
“Oh yea’,” spoke Applejack with a touch of anger, “Big Mac told me about the other day.”
Rainbow Dash’s brow furrowed as the cowpony got closer and closer towards her, a very unhappy look upon her. She started to sweat and darted her eyes around, breaking into a nervous chuckle.
“Come on Applejack. Aren’t I in a deep enough hole already?” Rainbow Dash clapped her hooves together very quickly, hoping for some form of forgiveness.
“Eeyup.”