Twilight was loving the feeling of the wind on her face. She could see the landscape passing through as the train was running at full power to its destination. Actually, she was still feeling it was going too slow. She cast a spell and the locomotive jumped ahead, going faster, and faster, and even faster. So fast that the landscape became just one blurry image that turned black eventually, as the train began to fall into the darkness. Twilight screamed but no sound escaped her mouth. She escaped the carriage by the window and saw the rest of the train fall down below her as she just stood there, in the middle of nothing, in the cold, alone and afraid.
Twilight woke up. Instinctively, she focused on slowing her heart beating, and tried to breath at a normal rate. She was sweating, but she decided it was because of the heat of the sun in the desert. She decided to ignore the fact she would have given anything, and I do say anything, for a comforting hug at that moment.
Nonetheless, she mechanically got up and went to the locomotive. As she got there, she observed it, intact, on the tracks, ready to go as soon as the engine would have been fixed. Twilight suddenly realized she had forgotten the manual at the camp. not that it really mattered in the long run, as she still had no idea what to do.
She lay on the ground and tried to forget everything around her. Then, she felt something on her cheek. She thought, for a little moment, that it was a hoof touching her, that somepony was trying to comfort her, that somepony would provide all the help she needed, even if there was no way a pony’s hoof would provide that precise feeling. Still, it was too good to think there was somepony there to accept the facts. At least not right away.
But when she finally opened her eyes, she understood she was crying and the feeling on her cheek was that of tears running down.
She immediately got up and screamed out of pure anger. No way she would give up. No way she would lose to a mere machine. She was a princess. She was smart. She was Twilight. And all of her friends were counting on her skills to repair that engine. So she would repair it.
She went to the hood.
« Okay Twilight », the alicorn assured herself. « It can’t be that complicated. It’s all just a matter of boiling water, producing steam and then using the pressure to make the wheels move. No big deal. »
She knew it was false, but she liked to think that, maybe, if she believed in it strong enough, the engine would suddenly change to a simple steam powered one. She opened the hood and, of course, revealed the very complex machinery that was the locomotive’s engine.
“I’m so fucking screwed.” screamed Twilight in horror. “I’m screwed, I can’t do it. I’m going to die here!” she despaired for a few seconds.
But with a strong effort on herself, she took back control of her breath and simmered down a little. It was clear, however, that she wouldn’t hold much longer without any progress in her task. So, this time, she decided to forget about understanding the machinery through a book, and just began to take the engine into pieces. She had absolutely no idea what she was doing and she couldn’t ignore the fact that she could be ruining the few chances she had to make it right forever that way, but at least there was that slight feeling to actually be doing something. To be acting, to have some sort of impact.
It wasn’t making any sense. Not at all. Of course the whole engine was just a machine, and was composed of pieces responding to the laws of physic, but even so, there were things that Twilight just couldn’t understand. For example, she saw a fluid cable that was linked to a spring that was doing absolutely nothing for the machinery and certainly couldn’t use the input from the cable. There was a red ball made of metal that seemed to be nothing more than a ballast, for whatever reason. And some blinking light without any energy source. Even more, she knew that the whole machine was supposed to use burning wood to function, but there was no telling how burning wood was supposed to power the magic amplificators that were disposed and connected to the pistons.
Needless to say, Twilight’s frustration was just adding with every second passing, but she managed to stay focused and ignore it during the whole day. Even when she lost a whole gallon of oil when she unscrewed a plate that happened to be some sort of sump or when she almost got electrocuted by an electronic circuit that took fire and probably destroyed part of its surrounding.
The alicorn ignored everything. She knew she was probably just making things way worse than before, but there was no turning back anymore anyway. A new tear appeared on the edge of her eye at the idea she had destroyed the last hope she had not to disappoint her friends’ hopes, but even that tear she managed to hold in.
“Here, I think it’s everything that’s left.” said Pinkie Pie’s voice behind Twilight’s back. “I doubt there is anything else left in the luggage. I’m sorry.” and her voice suddenly turned into a very optimistic tone: “But don’t worry, you’ll be finished before there is nothing to eat anymore. I see you’ve done quite a lot of work already. That’s really great. You can be proud of yourself!”
Twilight turned back to see the pink pony, but Pinkie Pie had already left and was nowhere to be seen anymore. Still, there was a pile of cans, not many, but a few that were probably containing all the food Pinkie Pie had been seeking.
The sun was going down and Twilight decided she should better stop there and save her strength before continuing to work on the engine. Even if there wasn’t much point to work anyway. At least nopony would be able to say she hadn’t tried her best.
She went back to the camp, went under her tent and almost buried her head in the ground. She was tired and she knew she could fall asleep if she were to just accept to. Still, she felt she couldn’t just let the day finish like that.
“Are you feeling okay?” asked Applejack. “You aren’t really looking okay…”
Twilight sighed. She knew the other four were there, watching her, worrying about her. And as much as she had wanted for them to come see her before she would be swallowed into her dreams, she was kind of feeling she wanted to be left alone.
“Define “okay”…” she replied with a little bit of sarcasm.
“Okay, you know, like in everything is as perfect as could be and we are doing great!” defined Rainbow Dash. “Just how do you intend to repair the locomotive if you begin to forget what words mean?”
By chance, Applejack shut the pegasus up, even if a bit too late.
“Well I’m not doing okay!” shouted Twilight. “There is no way I’ll ever repair that engine ever. It just isn’t possible.”
“Oh come on now dear.” said Rarity with a comforting tone, “It can’t that bad. Surely you will manage something.”
“No!” immediately replied Twilight, scaring off both Rarity and Fluttershy who was standing next to her. “How do I need to say it? I won’t manage anything whatsoever, because I don’t know how that thing works. I know about magic, I know about friendship, I even know some stuff about engineering, that’s true, but nothing that can make me suddenly figure out the complexity of what I’ve got to dealt with.”
“So… you’re saying it’s going to be hard?” asked Rainbow Dash, who just couldn’t believe Twilight couldn’t do something, whatever the thing may be.
Twilight didn’t reply, but sunk her head into the ground once again, which was kind of enough of an answer anyway.
“But… you’ve got the manual…” said Fluttershy from her bush, more to comfort herself than to reason with anypony.
“Yeah, great. I’ve got the manual!” complained Twilight, her face still stuck in the ground. “You know what is written in there? There is how to use the train’s breaks, how to accelerate, what paper you’re supposed to fill at the end of the journey, and there is even two chapter about what dance move a train conductor is supposed to do on a dance floor, and how to drink more alcohol than anypony else…”
“Really?” asked Pinkie Pie. “Can I see the dance move? Did you master them already?” she added with excitement and, even if Twilight couldn’t see it, probably doing some of her own dance moves at the exact same time.
“I just wish I had never left Ponyville with that train. I can’t even remember why I did that, but I’m sure it was a stupid reason.” the alicorn kept on complaining.
“Who cares why we made that journey?” said Applejack. “The important thing is that we are here, and that you’ll find a way to make it all alright.”
“Well I care.” replied Rainbow Dash. “Why did we make that journey all alone with that train again? Because whoever idea it was, it was very stupid!”
The others ignored Dash’s rambling and just assured Twilight of their support and confidence on her ability to manage in the end. The alicorn didn’t even heard the last words of support as she was already sleeping and her connection to reality faded away, replaced by some nice dreams and a much more pleasant world.