6
“And you’re going to keep both eyes on them?” Mrs. Cake asked, looking Pinkie dead on.
“I promise!”
“And you won’t get distracted by all the candy?” Mr. Cake asked, bumping aside his wife to stare down Pinkie as well.
“No problem-o!”
“You won’t get too excited about pranks and leave them?”
“Or get scared by something and leave them?”
“Nope aaaaaand nope!”
“And you’re absolutely sure?” the pair asked in unison.
“Don’t even worry about it!” Pinkie Pie said, keeping her perpetual smile on her face. “You two just focus on catering for the Town’s Nightmare Night party! Pumpkin and Pound are in good hooves! You can trust me!”
The Cakes had a bit of trouble trusting somepony dressed up as a mad scientist, especially when considering that mad scientist was Pinkie Pie. She pulled the look off just a little too well. Pinkie Pie’s attire aside, the Cakes didn’t have much of a choice. Their children wanted to trick or treat, but they had already promised to cater the town’s Nightmare Night party. Thankfully, Pinkie Pie came to the rescue once again and eagerly offered to take the twins with her. Even if she was their trusted foalsitter, going out on Nightmare Night was a totally different beast.
They looked down at their kids, adorably dressed up as a carton of chocolate and strawberry milk. Between the eager looks on their faces and the eager look on Pinkie Pie’s face, they just couldn’t say no; however, they could say all kinds of other things.
“Just don’t do anything crazy, alright?” Mr. Cake said, giving his go ahead for the plan at long last.
“You can count on me, Mr. Cake! I’ll have them back here with plenty of candy and in once piece!” Pinkie Pie assured him, picking up the milk cartons and starting towards the door. The sun was going down, which meant the time to trick or treat was upon them. The three ponies trotted out the door and closed it firmly behind them.
Sure they weren’t being followed, Pinkie Pie led them away from Sugarcube Corner. She trotted briskly, almost leaving the twins behind. They were confused as to why they hadn’t immediately gone and knocked on their neighbor’s door, but it was far beyond them to argue with the undisputed master of trick or treating. They walked and walked until they were at Carousel Boutique, which seemed like an odd place to start.
Pinkie Pie knocked on the door three times in succession, stopped, and then knocked twice hard. After a few seconds, the door opened up. Instead of Rarity like the twins expected, they were greeted by Rainbow Dash instead.
“Hi Dashie! I’m here to pick her up!”
“She’s almost ready,” Rainbow Dash said, but just then Equestria’s tiniest hazmat worker appeared behind her.
“I am ready!” Taboo shouted.
“Well, I’m not ready!” Rainbow Dash retorted. She pulled Pinkie Pie inside and set her square in front of her. “Now Pinkie, I trust you’re going to keep a constant eye on her, right?”
“I promise!”
“And you’re not gonna get wrapped up in all the candy?”
“No problem-o!”
“And you’re not gonna go pranking or getting pranked and accidentally leave her behind?”
“Nope aaaaaand nope!”
“And you’re absolutely sure?” she asked.
“Don’t even worry about it!” Pinkie Pie put her foreleg around her friend and pulled her close. “It’s the perfect plan, Dashie. I take Taboo and the twins out trick or treating and you can enjoy the Nightmare Night party in town! Everypony wins!”
“Only if this goes off without a hitch,” Rainbow Dash reminded her. “The Cakes won’t be happy to know we’re going behind their backs like this.”
“But they’ll neeever know!” Pinkie Pie told her. “That’s the beauty of it! Especially with a costume like that, nopony will even know it’s her. You chose well, Dashie.”
“Actually, I didn’t pick it,” Rainbow Dash said, looking down at Taboo in her interesting getup.
“I work in the dump!” Taboo shouted as to be heard under her fume mask. Pinkie Pie gave Rainbow Dash a concerned look, indicating that something about what was going on here was waaay off.
“Hey, I’m still getting over the shock that they make these things in her size,” Rainbow Dash told her friend. “Like you said, the costume works. I can’t figure out why or how she thought of it.”
“I already told you,” Taboo said, scolding her own mother. She had explained this like a million times now. “It’s really scary!”
Both Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie had to admit that there was something macabre and unsettling about a foal in a hazmat suit and fume mask. It did cover up her wings, eyes, and ears, so Rainbow Dash went along with the idea. Still, Taboo’s constant insistence that “it’s really scary” was starting to freak her out just as much.
“Are we really going to be trick or treating together?” Pumpkin asked with a huge smile across her face. Without waiting for confirmation, she ran up to Taboo and wrapped her in a huge hug. “This is going to be so much fun!”
“You two aren’t going to take all the candy, are you?” Pound asked.
“Don’t worry! There’ll be plenty of candy for everypony!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, scooping up all three young ponies at once. “Now we’re already behind schedule, so let’s get moving!” The mare started wobbling off on her hind legs, not thinking to put her load down to let it move on its own.
“Bye Mommy!” Taboo waved to her mother when Pinkie happened to spin around and totter backwards for a moment. Rainbow Dash waved back, still feeling apprehensive about the whole thing. It was her own selfish wish to be able to go to the Nightmare Night festivities, an event she enjoyed immensely. Her friends had encouraged her to let Pinkie Pie take Taboo for the night. Now that it was all coming together, Rainbow Dash didn’t feel any less worried. Perhaps it was just part of the territory.
“Rainbow Dash?” Rarity asked from inside the Boutique. “Are you done saying good-bye yet?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m done,” she replied, closing the door to the Boutique. She went back inside and joined her friends, who were all getting into their costumes. The festive atmosphere of the room made her feel a lot more at ease about the situation. She released a held breath and rejoined the group. “I’m ready for my costume.”
“What’re you goin’ as anyway?” Applejack asked, standing about in her Timberwolf costume. Recent events had convinced her that they were pretty darn scary. On top of that, a costume made entirely out of odd sticks was pretty inexpensive. “Don’t say as a Shadowbolt again.”
“Fine, then I won’t say it,” Rainbow Dash said, sticking her tongue out at Applejack. She stepped up on the catwalk and posed for those around her. “There isn’t a better costume out there.”
“Actually, Rainbow Dash, I’m with Applejack on this one,” Twilight said. She herself had opted not to dress as Starswirl the Bearded for the first time in years, but only because she had wings now. She couldn’t be authentic if she had wings. Instead, she put on a pith helmet and masqueraded as Daring Do. The helmet covered her horn, so there was no damage to the authenticity. “Why not dress as something else this year? It isn’t too late.”
“Twilight is right. We’re all trying new things this year,” Rarity said, emerging from behind the panel with Rainbow Dash’s costume. “Why, even Fluttershy has offered to accompany us out tonight.”
Everypony turned their attention to the timid pegasus, who for the first time in her entire life was outside her house for Nightmare Night. Even if she was wearing a full suit of armor with the visor down and shut tight, it wasn’t because she was in the spirit.
“Oh, well… Turner invited me out, so I didn’t want to say no,” Fluttershy said, her voice actually magnified by the resonance of the armor. “I can go out… for a second or two.”
“Yes, that stallion has had all sorts of good effects on you,” Rarity said. She turned back to Rainbow Dash and threw the costume at her. “In light of all this, I’ve already prepared a different costume for you.”
Rainbow Dash unraveled the costume and examined it. It sure wasn’t a Shadowbolt uniform, that much was clear. She looked it over a little more until she realized what it was.
“Gee… this is nice and all, but I think I’d better stick with Shadowbolt,” Rainbow Dash said, tossing the costume back to her friend. Rarity caught it with her magic and sent it right back, not about to take no for an answer.
“Put it on and then we’ll talk.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and complied, stepping into her costume. It was a bit tight, but that was to be expected. When she was in, Rarity zipped up the back and slapped a pair of goggles over her eyes. Rainbow Dash turned and looked at herself in the mirror.
“I don’t know how I feel about wearing this… it feels like bad mojo.” Rainbow Dash didn’t know how Rarity pulled it off, but she was wearing the most perfect replica of a Wonderbolt flight uniform she had ever seen. The material wasn’t accurate, but the appearance was spot on. “I don’t think I should be wearing it…”
“Nonsense, Rainbow Dash!” Rarity said, stepping up behind her friend to see her reflection as well. “You’d better get used to this look, if you ask me. The day you’ll be a Wonderbolt is closer than it’s ever been!”
“… I don’t know…”
“Oh, just be quiet,” Rarity said, turning Rainbow Dash away from the mirror. “If it feels too weird seeing yourself in it, then don’t look at yourself. Just let the other ponies look at you. Use this night to remind them who you are! You’re Rainbow Dash, the best flier in all of Equestria! You’ll be a Wonderbolt and everypony won’t be able to pick up a magazine without seeing your face. Trust me, it’s time to stop being a Shadowbolt.”
For some reason, Rarity was getting a little too into this costume thing. At any rate, Rainbow Dash wasn’t in any position to protest. She had to admit that not having to see herself in the uniform made it a little better, but the fact remained. She knew one day it would be more than just a costume; it would be her job. The situation became a little too real for her. Taboo was out on her own and she was a Wonderbolt. It was feeling less like a costume and more like an unsettling prediction.
She just hoped a night of merriment at the Nightmare Night party would calm her down.
“Trick or Treat!”
“… Pinkie Pie, aren’t you a little old for this?” Cheerilee asked, raising an eyebrow. When the other mare didn’t answer, she just rolled her eyes and hooved over piece of candy. She turned her attention to the little crowd in front of her. “Well, if it isn’t the Cake Twins! Your costumes are just adorable!”
“Thank you,” they said in unison as pieces of candy were plopped into their bags. Cheerilee then turned her attention to the fourth pony on her stoop. She regarded her covered face with an odd look for a long while, just listening to the sound of her breathing through the gas mask.
“Oh… how adorable,” Cheerilee said, but it was clear from her strained speech she didn’t quite mean it. She was confused. Who was this strange filly at her doorstep? Why was she dressed this way? Didn’t the others see her? She thought maybe they couldn’t see her, that this odd filly was really a ghost. She was the ghost of some poor, sad filly who grew up in the deep pits of pollution and vile air, which cut her life tragically short. She passed away writhing in the rancid poison and discarded trash of a town just like this one. Now her resentful soul wanders this mortal plane, trying to blend in with normal children in order to live out the life she never got to have!
“Just take it!” Cheerilee threw two generous hooffuls of candy into Taboo’s bag and then frantically slammed the door to her house shut. Several locks clicked into place. Taboo looked down at her rapidly expanding haul of candy and smiled. The group picked up their bags and headed to the next house with Taboo leading the way with a spring in her step.
“Pinkie, why does that keep happening?” Pumpkin asked, whispering as not to be heard by Taboo. “It’s starting to scare me…”
“It’s Nightmare Night; you’re supposed to act scared,” Pound said, not worrying about being heard. He thought the whole thing was ridiculous. “There’s nothing weird about what’s happening.”
The group came a halt as a stallion dressed up as a construction worker passed in front of them. He glanced down and noticed Taboo, bringing him to a sudden halt. As he stared at her, his eyes grew wide and beads of sweat rolled down the side of his head. He backed away slowly, not taking his eyes off of Taboo.
“I-I never littered in my life! It wasn’t me! I didn’t do it!” He ran off in a completely different direction than before, screaming all the way. Taboo just continued on like nothing special had happened, but the other three ponies weren’t so eager to follow her. They crowded together and inched forward bit by bit, terrified of what might happen next.
“Boo!”
“Eeeep!” Fluttershy bolted headfirst into Turner, bowling him over for the umpteenth time this evening. The poor stallion had been steamrolled by the iron mare so many times the others were considering taking him to Ponyville General to see if he had a concussion. Rainbow Dash just laughed and laughed as usual, entertained to no end by her own shenanigans.
“Oh, I’m sorry Turner!” Fluttershy said, realizing once again that Rainbow Dash had just gotten the best of her. She pulled the stallion to his feet and dusted off his costume again, which didn’t look quite as princely as it once had.
“Rainbow Dash, would you knock that off?” Twilight said, finally fed up with her. “You’ve been scaring the living daylights out of Fluttershy all night!”
“What? All I did was say ‘Boo!’”
“Eeeeep!”
“It… really doesn’t take much,” Turner said from his place on the ground. Fluttershy apologized and helped him up again while Rainbow Dash laughed.
“This isn’t really behavior fitting of a Wonderbolt,” Twilight said, trying to get an angle to discourage Rainbow Dash. “Can’t you just enjoy the party like everypony else?”
The party was going in full swing, just like every year. Ponies were bobbing for apples and enjoying sweet treats while enjoying the sounds of the local band. The whole town square was decked out in lights and jack-o-lanterns. There were plenty of other games set up along the outskirts, most of them involving throwing something at something else. All of this was available to Rainbow Dash, but instead she was wrapped up in scaring Fluttershy.
“Aw c’mon, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash said, nudging her friend. “What fun is Nightmare Night without some crazy pranks?”
“Have you considered poor Fluttershy?” Twilight said, gesturing to the pegasus in question. She was still apologizing to Time Turner, who was in turn apologizing right back. It was absolutely adorable. Rainbow Dash just snickered to herself.
“She looks like she’s enjoying herself,” she said, but Twilight didn’t look amused.
“Ugh! You’re so inconsiderate, Rainbow Dash!”
“Whoa, don’t know if I deserve that.”
Twilight turned around and came face to face with Rainbow Dash. She was holding a half-eaten cupcake in her hoof and had a giant, stuffed bear on her back. Twilight turned back to Rainbow Dash, who was just standing there smiling. She turned back to Rainbow Dash once more, who was chewing on aforementioned cupcake.
“W-what is going on?” Twilight said, looking back and forth between the two Rainbows. She turned to the one that just arrived and pointed a hoof at her. “Who are you?”
“Uh… I’m Rainbow Dash.” Rainbow Dash threw the rest of her cupcake into her mouth.
“But Rainbow Dash has been right here all night!” Twilight said, throwing both hooves towards the first Rainbow Dash, who smiled and waved. The other Rainbow Dash swallowed her cupcake.
“I’ve been trying to win the Pumpkin toss to get this bear all night. I swear that game is rigged. It took a few tries to win, but I think Taboo will like this!” Rainbow Dash shoved the bear in Twilight’s face. It had a rather serious expression on his face and a blue suit on his body. The strangest part was the scar over his left eye, which seemed wildly out of place on what was supposed to be a cute kid’s toy. “I’ve actually been meaning to ask you who that is,” Rainbow Dash said, putting the strange animal on her back and pointing to the other Rainbow Dash.
“I thought… I thought she was you?” Twilight asked, not sure of anything anymore.
“Well, I guess the jig is up!” the other Rainbow Dash said, but in a familiar, male voice. She snapped her hoof, and in a burst of light and smoke transformed into Discord before everypony’s eyes. “April Fools!” Fluttershy bowled over Time Turner again.
“Discord?” Twilight threw off her helmet and pointed her horn at the draconequus. “What are you doing here?”
“Me? Well, I’m just trying to enjoy Nightmare Night like everypony else!” he said, levitating down to pony level. He snapped his fingers, poofing himself an odd costume comprised of a red shirt with an odd emblem on it. For the avatar of chaos capable of conjuring pretty much anything in an instant, it was underwhelming. “Like I said, what fun is Nightmare Night without some crazy pranks?”
“Have you even ever celebrated Nightmare Night?” Rainbow Dash questioned, taking a stance against him as well.
“Eh… well, not really. This is the first time I didn’t go to Canterlot’s Nightmare Night Garden Party as a statue. By the by, thanks for letting me out, but I feel like we haven’t really hung out since then,” he said, wrapping his arms around Twilight and Rainbow Dash.
“We haven’t,” Twilight reminded him, shouldering off his arm.
“And so much has changed since then!” Discord said, dramatically tilting backwards until his head became buried in the ground. It popped back up as a beautiful red flower between Time Turner and Fluttershy. “For instance, I wasn’t aware my good friend Fluttershy found somepony to make kissy-face with.”
“Oh my, we don’t, we aren’t, we could, b-b-but-”
“She and I, we’re only just, but we, I mean we-”
“Shh!” Discord’s hand sprouted up and snapped its fingers, placing duct tape over both ponies’ mouths. “Forget I said anything and just go back to being adorable.” He pulled the rest of his body out of the ground and brushed the dirt off with Twilight’s tail.
“Hey!”
“Oh, were you using this?” Discord pinned Twilight’s tail back on, smiling innocently. “Look, I just wanted to be in on all the festivities for once. This holiday suits me! The wacky costumes, the free candy, the celebration of the disharmony between my two greatest foes! What’s the harm in me popping by for a round of apple bobbing or two?”
“It might have something to do with the fact that you refer to Princess Celestia and Luna as ‘my two greatest foes,’” Twilight said, pointing an accusing hoof at him. Discord moved to protest, but she did have a point; however, Twilight knew Discord had a point as well. Scaring Fluttershy over and over again wasn’t exactly extremely evil or anything. “… Look, if anything you do gets out of hoof…”
“Oh! Do you mean it?” Discord said, clasping his paw and talon together. He leaned into Twilight and got all doe eyed on her. “Can I reaaaaally wear my dress to the ball?”
“As long as you stay out of trouble!” Twilight said before he could get carried away.
“Well, isn’t this a special day? I have permission from the Princess herself to be at the party!” Discord laughed to himself. He snapped and a scuba mask poofed onto his face. “I think I might actually go bob for apples! I do like those apples.” Discord’s wings began humming as he beat them furiously. Somewhere, a pony could be heard counting down.
“Hold on, buster!” Rainbow Dash shouted. Discord’s wings made an odd popping and grinding sound as he halted his liftoff. He turned to her and folded his arms. There wasn’t much that annoyed him, but having his dramatic exit ruined was one of them. “I need to talk to you alone.”
“Oh boy, a private conference with Rainbow Dash,” Discord said, sounding underwhelmed for the first time tonight. Rainbow Dash couldn’t have cared less. She dragged him away from her friends until they were out of earshot of the party. “Now what is it? Daddy already gave me permission to go and I don’t think she’d like mommy undermining her authority.”
“So you do know what I want.”
“Well, it’s kind of obvious. It would be pretty pointless for me to make an appearance if I didn’t add anything to the main thread of the plot.”
“… What?”
“Just ask your question so we can move along,” Discord said, poofing her a script to read off of. She knocked it aside and flew up to his head.
“Do you know anything about Taboo? Where her parents might be? Where she came from?”
“Can’t say I do,” Discord said, reclining in the air. “I’m the Avatar of Chaos and Disharmony, not of Family Issues. I haven’t the foggiest where the twerp’s parents got off to. Has she considered investing in a leash for them?”
“Okay, so you don’t know anything about her parents, but what about-”
“Her species?” Discord asked. Rainbow Dash grimaced at the word, but she held her tongue. If he had any information, she wanted to get it out of him. “Look, Luna already grilled me on this. I, like you, thought she would have all the answers. Sadly, in all my years in Equestria I’ve never encountered a group of ponies like her. Does that mean a group doesn’t exist? Beats me, but I’ll tell you what I told the Princesses: if more ponies like Taboo exist, they’re not in Equestria.”
“… Really?” Rainbow Dash squinted at Discord.
“I really don’t know. I haven’t done much traveling in all my millennia. I had a country to rule and pigeons to give a place to roost,” Discord explained.
“… Alright, fine. Thanks.”
“Oh? What’s this?” Discord grinned from ear to ear and narrowed his eyes at Rainbow Dash. “You’re thanking me? My, my, this has been quite the interesting day for me!”
“Don’t push your luck,” Rainbow Dash said, backing up from him. Discord, for his part, doubled back and started cackling at the top of his lungs. She wasn’t quite sure what was so funny.
“Ha! Pushing my luck?” He could barely speak between fits of laughter. “You’re right… *snicker*. I’m overdue for something terrible to happen!”
His karma must have heard him, for not a moment later did a streak of blue fly down from the night sky and crack Discord right in the head. The source of the impact bounced off and landed between Rainbow Dash and the draconequus, flaring it’s webbed wings in defense. Discord, however, didn’t look much like a threat as he cycled back and forth on his hoof and claw.
“Oh? Am I turning into a statue again? I’m feelin’ raaather… rocked.” Discord fell in a tangled heap for a short dirt nap.
“Are you alright?” Thunderhead asked, turning back to Rainbow Dash.
“Yeah… not that I was in trouble,” she said, craning her neck around the guard to look at Discord. She kind of felt sorry for him, but she would be lying if she said she hadn’t wanted to do that herself once or twice. “He’s not here to take over Equestria, if that’s what you were thinking.”
“But, that’s Discord!” Thunderhead said as if it weren’t obvious.
“He’s on our side now… kind of. Didn’t you hear?”
“I… guess I didn’t.” Thunderhead looked back at Discord. “Whoops?”
“He’ll be fine,” Rainbow Dash said. “So, you’re telling me you swooped down here thinking you were going to save me from Discord?”
“… Yeeeeah.”
“And your big plan was to hit him on the head?”
“I don’t have much else to work with.”
“I guess it’s the thought that counts,” Rainbow Dash said, turning her back away from Discord and leaving him behind. Thunderhead cast a worried glance at the Avatar of Chaos, but he just ended up assuming he’d probably be fine.
“So where is Taboo?” he asked, forgetting about Discord.
“She’s out Trick or Treating,” Rainbow Dash explained. She stopped and turned to Thunderhead. “Hey, do you think you could do me a favor? I want you to watch Taboo.”
“Yeah, that’s kind of why I’m here.”
“I mean secretly,” Rainbow Dash said, but Thunderhead still raised an eyebrow. “It’s the first time she’s ever been out like this without me. I know she’s with Pinkie Pie and the Cake Twins, but I’m still worried. Having you right next to her might ruin the experience, so just keep an eye on her from the background. I’d just feel a lot better knowing you were there.”
“Well, if that’s an order from a superior officer,” Thunderhead said, throwing her a salute. Rainbow Dash was confused at first, but then she remembered her costume.
“Oh, yeah! Those are your orders, so get to it!” Rainbow Dash said, playing along with the charade.
“Yes, Lieutenant!” Thunderhead put down his salute and spread his wings. He took off into the night to find Taboo.
“C’mon, hurry up Taboo!” Pumpkin called to her friend. “Pinkie says this next house gives out Jumbo Chocolate Bars!”
“I’m coming!” Taboo braced herself and pushed hard against her candy bag. She was glad she’d managed to collect such a large haul, but the unforeseen consequence of this was that it had become a chore to transport from house to house. She pushed and struggled as another group of ponies cantered by. She wasn’t going to get to many more houses tonight at this rate.
Taboo backed up from her bag. She kept going and going until she felt satisfied with the distance. She stared it down, scraping her hoof against the ground. The little filly charged the bag, driving her shoulder into it. The bag flew away as she plopped onto the ground. It slid a whole foot before skidding to a stop. Taboo sighed and stood back up. She would have made more progress if she just kept pushing.
It then struck Taboo that she was alone in the street. She looked down the road where her friends had just been, but now they were nowhere to be seen. Then again, Taboo couldn’t see very far in the darkness with her fume mask on. In order to see a little better, she took off her hood and removed her mask. She shook a little sweat out of her hair and looked about.
There were ponies here, but they were not her friends.
“Hey, look at that!”
A group of three colts who had been walking up the street towards her stopped to examine her. They exchanged looked with one another, trying to confirm if what they were seeing was really what they were seeing. Taboo could tell they were looking at her, but she didn’t like the way they were doing it. As they approached her, she backed up against her back. They were bigger than her and she didn’t know them. All of a sudden, going out without mommy seemed like a really bad idea.
“What’re you doing out here by yourself?” one of the colts asked her, demanding she answer. With the three of them closed in around her, she had nowhere to run. “Did your mommy finally abandon you?”
“No!” Taboo puffed out her chest, despite her heart pounding quickly inside of it.
“Then where is she?” they asked, but Taboo didn’t answer. She just stared down at the ground in front of them. “She did leave you, didn’t she? She finally abandoned you like your real parents!”
“Shut up!” she shouted at them. Taboo had no idea what they were talking about, but she didn’t like it. “Leave me alone!”
“You don’t get to tell us what to do!” The circle of colts began to close in on her. “Somepony needs to teach you a lesson.”
“Hey!”
The circle of colts backed off as the sound of an onlooker caught them by surprise. They looked down the road to see Thunderhead standing and watching them. Taboo turned and saw him as well. She felt herself deflate, realizing she wasn’t alone anymore. All her fear finally caught up to her, and tears began forming in her eyes. In desperation, she cried out for help.
“Daaaaaaddy!”
The three colts retreated, not wanting to deal with the guard. Thunderhead, however, couldn’t move from where he stood. The situation just became a lot more surreal, and he didn’t even snap out of his stupor when Taboo scampered up and glomped his leg. She buried her face into him and sobbed, both hurt by the things those colts had said and glad the ordeal was over.
“Uh… hey, you alright?” Thunderhead asked, trying to act natural. He’d never been called “daddy,” and he most certainly hadn’t woken up this evening anticipating being called that. He wanted to tell Taboo she was confused, but he didn’t. Something was stopping him. He just put a hoof around Taboo, comforting her.
“I wa-as sca-a-ared,” Taboo said between sobs. “It wasn-n’t fun. I wanna go ho-ome!”
“Okay… should we find your mother?” The words almost didn’t come out as Thunderhead stumbled over them. He was all too aware of all the implications of being affectionately “daddy.” His mind was running in a thousand different directions.
“Taboo? Taboo!” Pinkie Pie came bounding around the corner with the Cake twins in tow. When she saw Taboo crying into Thunderhead’s foreleg, she knew she’d screwed up. Pinkie had begun to wonder why there was a lack of sudden panic from the last few houses. It then struck her that she had left the Twins and Taboo somewhere in the dust as she sped off by herself. In the end, she hadn’t kept her promise. She sprinted over to Taboo and slid into the proper pose for groveling. “I am soooooo super sorry, Taboo! I just couldn’t control my sugar craving! I neeeeeed heeelp!”
“We’re sorry, Taboo. We tried to tell her, but she left us behind too,” Pound said, approaching the filly. He kicked the dirt. “Sorry…”
“We were so worried!” Pumpkin ran up and hugged her friend, at least she hugged her as well as she could while wearing a box. “Are you gonna be okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” Taboo said, having managed to calm down a little.
“We can stop if you want,” Pumpkin told her friend, but Taboo shook her head. She didn’t have to be afraid now.
“No, we don’t have to stop,” Taboo said, detaching from Thunderhead. “I just have to find a way to move all this candy around.”
The group took a moment to look at Taboo’s massive bag of candy. They might be able to move at a decent clip if they all worked together, but Taboo knew she would feel guilty about making her friends do that for her.
“I guess I could take it back to your house,” Thunderhead said, offering his services. It went against what he was ordered to do, but as far as he was concerned Taboo outranked Rainbow Dash. She wasn’t an actual Lieutenant, just like he wasn’t an actual “daddy.”
“What would I use to put my candy in?” Taboo asked. Thunderhead thought fast, taking off his helmet and turning it upside down.
“Will this do?”
Taboo took the helmet and examined it. It didn’t look like it would hold very much, especially with the earholes in the bottom. Considering her options, she didn’t know what else could be done.
“Just bring my bag back when you’re done!” Taboo said. She put her fume mask and hood back on, ready to get back to Trick or Treating. “Alright, let’s go!”
“Lead the way!” Pumpkin said, trotting side by side with her friend down the road. Pinkie and Pound caught up with them, and thus the journey resumed. Thunderlane stood beside the candy and watched them go, left alone with his thoughts. He figured he could sort it all out later. It was time for him to do his job.
The target exploded in a flash of fire as the watermelon impacted it.
“Ah ha! I win again!” Discord cheered, party poppers popping out of thin air to announce his seventh consecutive victory at the Pumpkin Toss. “Now can I have a prize?”
“No!” The pony running the game said, glaring at the draconequus.
“Aww, come on! What’s the deal?” Discord said, snapping his fingers. A hoofball helmet and pads appeared on his body, complete with the number fish and “Discord” written on the back. “The ref is biased!”
“Well… you’ve been cheating,” Time Turner said, albeit meekly. He stood by with Fluttershy, who had insisted they keep Discord company. She wasn’t worried about him getting lonely so much as she was worried he might try and overthrow the local government.
“Cheating? Who? Me?” Discord turned on the quiet earth pony. “You can’t prove that.”
“Well… you’ve been catapulting watermelons.”
“I don’t see why that’s such a big deal.”
“And they explode.”
“How dare you. You know my mother exploded.”
“And your catapult is a seal.” Turner looked over at the ocean dwelling mammal, which just smiled and clapped his flippers together. Discord threw it the fish on his uniform and it barked happily.
“I don’t obey the rules, I just make them up,” Discord said, crossing his arms and huffing indignantly. “Besides, this game is rigged anyway. You can’t win unless you employ a little extraneous help.”
“The game isn’t rigged,” Turner said. His confidence was flattened when Discord got right up in his face. He shrunk down under the Avatar of Chaos’s peeved glare.
“Oh? It isn’t is it?”
“The game isn’t rigged!” the pony running it shouted, but Discord snapped his fingers and covered him in mayonnaise.
“Then why don’t you step up and try your hoof?” Discord asked, snapping his fingers again and returning his station back to normal. “If you manage to win, I’ll turn the stuffed bear you earn into a real bear!”
“Why would I want that?”
“What? Don’t like bears or seals? Fluttershy, how can you be with this stallion?” Discord asked, sticking his tongue out.
“Be nice, Discord,” Fluttershy said, surprising him by turning to scolding instead of stuttering.
“Oh! Well, excuse me. I wasn’t aware your costumes weren’t actually ironic.” Discord snapped his fingers, pulling the old switcheroo on the pair. Now Time Turner was wearing a suit of armor while Fluttershy was dressed like a Princess. Fluttershy recoiled from the shock of being exposed to the open air of Nightmare Night so suddenly, prompting Discord to laugh at his handiwork. “There! That’s more like it!”
Time Turner couldn’t see what was going on enveloped in the darkness of the helmet now on his head. He popped it off and looked around. He saw Discord laughing and Fluttershy cowering again. Something snapped inside Time Turner when he saw how uncomfortable Discord was making Fluttershy. He snorted and furrowed his brow.
Discord and Fluttershy stopped what they were doing to notice Time Turner stepping up to the Pumpkin Toss. He looked down the field at his target. He pulled back on the catapult, testing the power of the spring. He got behind it, checking the alignment. He picked up a pumpkin, testing its weight. Satisfied with his observations, he placed the large vegetable on his catapult and got ready to fire.
“Yeah, there’s no way this is happening,” Discord said. He conjured himself a megaphone and got ready to gloat. Fluttershy just watched, secretly rooting for Turner.
The stallion released his catapult, letting the pumpkin soar through the air. Everypony watched as it arced high across the firing range and hit the target right on. There was a moment of silence.
“… Well I’ll be darned,” Discord muttered to himself. “He did it.”
“… I did it.”
“You did it!” Fluttershy tackled Time Turner to the ground, but this time it wasn’t because she was scared. It didn’t hurt him this time either, since he was wearing armor. “You stood up to Discord and you hit the target!”
“O-of course! I make clocks, s-so precision is kind of my, uh, thing.” Being so close to Fluttershy still made him incredibly nervous. “I just wanted him to stop bothering you.”
“You mean… you did it for me?”
“I… I suppose I did,” Turner said, blushing profusely. He did his best to maintain eye contact with Fluttershy, who just stared back down at her. Suddenly, her face broke out in a deep blush and her ears stood straight up. He watched as she got a wild look in her eyes. Before he could ask what was going through her head, she silenced him.
“Oh, ew! Nopony wants to see this!” Discord shouted, dropping his megaphone and shielding his eyes. He quickly removed and swallowed them for safekeeping. He snapped and conjured himself a quill and paper to write on. “Let’s see… how does this go? Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned a valuable lesson. Never make friends because they will get special someponies and they will swap saliva with them in public and it will be nasty and this is what I learned. Please let me rule Equestria again, please. Signed, Discord.”
Discord rolled up the letter, farted out a green flame, and sent it on its way.
“Hmm… maybe I should’ve proofread that first.”
Meanwhile, Fluttershy pulled away from Time Turner, allowing the pair to breathe again. She was fully aware of what she’d done and where she’d done it, and as a result her embarrassment burned her with all the intensity of the sun; however, she felt extremely giddy at the same time. Fluttershy had never kissed a stallion before, but it wasn’t scary at all. In fact, it was a lot of fun.
“Oh, oh my!” Fluttershy couldn’t stop giggling and smiling. “I can’t believe I just did that!”
“Yeah… me neither.” Turner was smiling like an idiot.
“Does this mean you two are going to stop being all embarrassed when I make couple jokes about you two?” Discord asked them, even though he was facing in the wrong direction.
“Yes!” Fluttershy cheered before diving back down, initiating another intense kiss with her now official special somepony.
“Ugh… all this romance is giving me indigestion,” Discord said, holding his stomach. It hissed and snarled back at him. “Or maybe that’s Celestia’s reply. Ooof, I guess she’s not happy about me leaving the castle without permission fro- hnnng… and for rending the drapes, but she knows I get stir-crazy! Well, I’ll just leave you two lovebirds alone. I have to go receive a letter in somepony’s flower bin.”
“Welcome back. Luna. I trust you had a nice time,” Celestia said, looking up from her book. She was surprised to see her sister swoop into the study decked head to hoof in all the swag she’d won during Nightmare Night. This didn’t even include the things she’d simply been given for showing up.
“Those Appleloosans really know how to throw a party! Why, I was having so much fun I almost forgot to lower the moon!” Luna lit her horn and teleported her bounty of paraphernalia to her room. She took out her crown, brushed the sugar off of it, and put it back on her head. “It was another successful Nightmare Night. You should really consider having the citizens hold a holiday in your honor, sister.”
“I do. I have the Summer Sun Celebration.”
“Yes, but it isn’t very festive,” Luna said. “It’s more of a quick ceremony of sorts. Nopony has ever hurled a stuffed spider at a Velcro web in your honor.”
“I’m glad you enjoy your festivities, Luna.” Celestia turned back to her book. “Page please.” A lion’s paw reached down and turned the page for the Princess.
“Well, I’m simply too excited to sleep yet. I think I shall go count my spoils,” Luna said, heading towards the door. “Hello, Discord. In trouble again?” she asked the disembodied head over the doorpost.
“I was just trying to enjoy Nightmare Night,” he said, rolling the one eye he had been allowed to keep inside his skull. “Anyway, my legs have run down to the kitchen. Did you want anything?”
“Just some tea before I go down for the morning.” Luna said, smiling before continuing on. “Door please.” Discord’s talon floated out and opened up the door, allowing the Princess of the Night to pass through. Luna trotted down the hallway with a skip in her step, still bubbling from the night she’d had. She hummed a little tune to herself and continued towards her room.
She stopped halfway. Her keen sense of magic was picking up a dream nearby. The dream could be any of several servants in the castle, but Luna wasn’t content to speculate. If a pony can intrude on a dream, she is always tempted to do so. Usually she refrained and allowed them to have their privacy, but Luna was in a bit of a mischievous mood.
“Perhaps just a peek.” Luna filled her being with magic and stepped into the ethereal plane. She floated down, down into the dreaming pony’s mind. She touched it, letting its gray warmth surround her. She sunk in and beheld the other side.
“Honey, I’m home!” Thunderhead smiled brightly as he passed through the monochrome threshold into his house. He set down his briefcase and hung up his hat.
“Welcome home, honey!” Rainbow Dash said, floating out of the kitchen with oven mitts and an apron on. “I hope you’re hungry!”
“Am I ever!” Thunderhead answered, pumping his hoof in the air.
“Daddy!” Taboo came trotting down the stairs, dressed in a neat gray dress and a grey bow in her hair.
“Hey there, honey!” He opened his hooves up, letting the little filly jump into them. He gave her a big hug and a kiss on the head. “Boy did I miss you, honey!”
“I missed you too, daddy!”
“Hey, don’t I get a kiss, honey?” Rainbow Dash, sauntering up and batting her eyelashes. Thunderhead leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek.
“How nice it is to come home to my two favorite girls!” All three of them laughed in unison for a few seconds and then abruptly stopped to return to smiling. “So, what’s for dinner?”
“It’s Wheatloaf!” Rainbow Dash announced heading back into the kitchen. “It will be ready soon, honey!”
“Sounds good to me, honey.”
“Daddy! Will you come help me with my homework before dinner?” Taboo asked.
“Sure thing, honey.” Thunderhead began following Taboo up the stairs, but then there was a knock at the door. “Well, who could that be? Head on up, honey. I’ll be there in just a jiffy.” Thunderhead sent Taboo on up without him and went to answer the door. He opened it up, revealing the Princess of the Night with a basket of milk. As an added touch, she was even wearing the appropriate hat.
“Hello Thunderhead.”
“… Well, this is embarrassing.”
“You speak for both of us,” Luna said, having heard the pet name “honey” enough to last her for years to come. “I believe we should have a conversation about all of this.” Luna gestured to the house with her free hoof.
“Yes, your majesty. Should I wake up?”
“No, we will have much more privacy if we stay in here,” Luna said. She put down the milk and tossed aside the hat. “May I come in?”
“… We can just talk outside.” The four walls of the house fell flat, revealing an empty, blank space that stretched out into eternity. “I’m going to be reassigned, aren’t I?”
“Is there a reason to reassign you?” Luna asked. “I did not walk in on a dream of you terrorizing Rainbow Dash and Taboo. What I have witnessed is… complicated. Tell me, what has brought this on?”
“Long story short, Taboo had a little incident Trick or Treating tonight. She got scared, but when I came to help her she called me ‘daddy.’”
“Daddy!” Taboo was stuck to his hoof again. This time she was smiling, nuzzling him affectionately.
“Hmm… from the mouths of foals…”
“I’m… not sure that expression works here,” Thunderhead said. He reached down and patted Taboo on the head, eliciting a giggle from her.
“But doesn’t it?” Luna’s smile caught Thunderhead off guard. “A title is often something we earn, and it seems you’ve been granted ‘daddy.’ You surely must have done something wonderful to earn that filly’s trust.”
“I’m not sure it has anything to do with trust.” Thunderhead looked down at Taboo, still snuggling his armored hoof. He reached up with his other hoof and removed his helmet. “What happens when you take away this?” He dropped it at his bare hooves. It clanked once, its reverberating echo on the edges of the deserted dreamscape.
“Interesting.” Luna picked the helmet off the ground with her magic. “You deny your claim to the title, yet you seem remiss to lose it.” She turned her head to the side, prompting Thunderhead to do the same.
“Daddy!” Taboo clung to some shadow Thunderhead didn’t recognize. He could only watch for a brief second before four walls fell around the scene, a door separating him from the warmth inside. It began to rain, washing the world in a blue hue.
“Does Rainbow Dash know of this incident?” Luna asked.
“Not about the ‘daddy’ part,” Thunderhead told her. He jumped a bit when Luna put his helmet back on his head. In a rush of wind, he turned from watching the door to standing beside it, looking out from the house. He turned his head and looked in the window. Rainbow Dash sat on her couch reading while Taboo played with Tank on the floor.
“So, nothing has changed,” Luna says, standing before him. “And how does that feel?”
“… Like I could have more if I tried.” Thunderhead kept watching, but he couldn’t dream up the way inside. He didn’t know how to be part of the scene.
“You really care deeply about that filly, don’t you?” Luna asked, even though it was clear from the way he looked in the window.
“I find it hard to believe anypony in my situation wouldn’t feel this way,” he said, not looking away from the window. “When she called me ‘daddy,’ there was a part of me that was really happy. I hoped that Taboo liked me, but it was really clear right then that she loved me like I loved her. I never really thought about becoming her father or anything, but for the rest of the night I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I kept asking ‘what if?’”
“Well, if you want to assert yourself as ‘daddy’, you know the next hurdle you must clear,” Luna said. There was another whirlwind, and when the spinning stopped Thunderhead was face to face with Rainbow Dash. “What are your feelings on the young mare?”
“I, well… I would be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to her… but-”
“But?” Rainbow Dash asked him, giving him a sultry look. She stepped forward, invading his breathing space.
“I don’t want to pursue her just for Taboo.”
“Sergeant Thunderhead, you are looking at it from the wrong angle,” Luna said, scolding him for the first time. He hadn’t imagined he could get in trouble for not romantically pursuing one of the ponies he was supposed to protect. He was caught up in a whirlwind again. This time when he stopped, he was standing next to Rainbow Dash and facing Taboo. “Is this more comfortable for you?”
“Maybe?” Thunderhead wasn’t sure what to make of this. He lifted his hoof closest to Rainbow Dash, only to find it was bound to hers. They couldn’t walk forward unless they went together.
“Careful: this mare likes to move quickly.” This warning came mere moments before Rainbow Dash took off, dragging Thunderhead along for the ride. He struggled to keep up with her, but it wasn’t impossible. It was just the initial shock of being thrown into it that threw him off. He could keep up with her if he really tried. “This is more suitable for you?”
“I guess? I’m sorry, your highness, but I’m still not exactly sure what you’re trying to show me.”
“Must I spell it out for you?” Luna stamped her hoof, bringing Thunderhead’s flight to a sudden halt. He fell flat on his face in front of a chalkboard. Luna grabbed the chalk and wrote in long, flowing strokes across the board. When she was done, she tapped the board twice and read it aloud. “It is possible for you to have the attractive wife and cute daughter.” There were even little drawings of Rainbow Dash and Taboo, but they weren’t quite as nice looking as Luna’s writing. Thunderhead raised his hoof.
“Are you giving me the go ahead to try and woo Rainbow Dash?”
“Should I not be?” Luna asked, sitting down behind her desk. “There is no doubt that Rainbow Dash will seek a mate one of these days. I’d rather she pick somepony I already trust than some stranger.”
“Thank you for putting your trust in me, your majesty!” Thunderhead said, saluting the Princess. “No matter what, I won’t let you down.”
“Yes, especially after all the help I’ve given you.” Luna warned her guard, not at all blind to the possibility of failure. “When you are sharing your marriage bed with Rainbow Dash, do not forget the pony who gave you the proper push in that direction.”
“Well, good morning, squirt,” Rainbow Dash said, greeting a groggy Taboo wandering down the stairs. “Somepony must’ve had a good time last night. You were fast asleep by the time I got back!”
“Trick or Treating is exhausting,” Taboo said, heaving a labored sigh. She hopped up on the couch next to her mother and put her head in her lap. She was ready to fall asleep all over again. “It was a lot of hard work.”
“Yeah, it looks like it.” Rainbow Dash looked over to the door where two large bags full of candy sat. There was no way she was letting Taboo eat all of that. She reached down and stroked the filly’s mane. “You know, Pinkie Pie told me you ran into a little trouble last night.”
“I got separated from the group.” Taboo wasn’t too keen on remembering. She buried her face in mommy’s lap, trying to let the memory go. Those mean ponies had said such strange things and threatened her when she told them to go away. She wasn’t big like mommy; the other ponies didn’t listen to her.
“Did you want to talk about it?” Rainbow Dash asked, but Taboo quickly shook her head. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” Taboo was too tired to be bothered with that scary memory. The last thing she wanted to do was talk about it. Her mommy was so brave, but Taboo couldn’t be brave like her last night. She tried, but it hadn’t helped. There was so much she didn’t understand. Taboo knew if it ever happened again, she would just curl up in a ball and make sure they couldn’t hurt her.
Rainbow Dash was scared out of her wits as well. Of all the times something could go wrong when Taboo had gone out without her, it had to be the first time. Despite telling herself it was an unlikely incident and happened by chance, she felt it had scarred her. She didn’t want to let Taboo out of her sight for a second. She wasn’t safe unless she was nearby. Taboo had only Rainbow Dash to protect her. Now, more than ever, this seemed true.
“You’re okay?” Rainbow Dash asked. It had taken everything she had not to wake Taboo up and make sure last night, but the filly looked so peaceful as she slept that Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but be relieved. Taboo was shaken, but she was unharmed.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” Taboo said, sniffling a little. She had gotten out of trouble, thanks to a certain pony. “Daddy saved me.”
“… Who?”
“Daddy did.”
Rainbow Dash had heard right, but it still didn’t make any sense. There was no “daddy.” At least, she wasn’t aware of the existence of one. She puzzled and puzzled, but elements of Pinkie’s story seemed to point to the answer.
Taboo had been crying alone with Thunderhead. The bullies were gone, but Thunderhead was there. Thunderhead had saved her. Thunderhead… was “daddy.” Even without the details of the story, he was the most likely suspect. Taboo loved him and he wore that armor. In a filly’s mind, that might be all it takes.
Rainbow Dash knew she had to say something here, but she hesitated. What was she supposed to say? Was she supposed to tell a yearling that she didn’t have a father? That didn’t seem right, but neither did letting the charade play on; however, there might be less harm in the latter.
She let her mind wander for a moment, imagining a world where Thunderhead was the daddy, she was the mommy, and Taboo was the foal. It was hard to say how that would play out exactly. Everything Rainbow Dash knew about Thunderhead began and ended with his job. He treats Taboo kindly, but he might do this simply because he is the one assigned to protect her. If he goes above and beyond, maybe he’s just an overachiever. There’s no telling if Thunderhead wants to be “daddy.”
“Hey, what’s that?” Taboo asked. Rainbow Dash snapped out of her little world and looked to where the filly was pointing.
“Oh, that. I won that for you.” She picked up the stuffed bear and presented it to her daughter. “Do you like it?”
“… He looks funny.”
“He’s tough!” Rainbow Dash wasn’t about to let all her hard work go to waste. “He can protect you when me and daddy aren’t around.” She had said it before she realized it. With that, she was complacent in Taboo’s fantasy. She wanted to kick herself, but right now her character wouldn’t do that.
“You’re not leaving again, are you?” Taboo asked, crawling up her mother in an attempt to get at eye level.
“Of course not,” Rainbow Dash said, hugging the filly close. “I’ll be right here beside you, no matter what.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.” It was the same promise Rainbow Dash had made over a year ago. Nothing was going to change that. She couldn’t even imagine what could.
Still, Rainbow Dash needed to talk to Thunderhead. She told herself she needed to talk to him just as soon as she could, but when the first snow fell that year she began to wonder if she was ever going to confront this.