Brown’s point of view
Thanks to the efforts of my loving family and the dear doctors at the hospital I was unable to prevent my dear sister from storming out the door, undoubtedly to ‘avenge’ me. My sister is one of the strongest around, but I wouldn’t get near a drunk Silver.
Don’t ask how I knew Silver was drunk. From what little I saw when Amethyst dragged him to the pools, and when Amethyst observed us, I deduced that this would all somehow end up with the two of them drinking their brains out.
It’s my talent. I observe others and piece together their personalities and how they’ll interact with the world around them. Ponies often think that the flames around the eye should somehow symbolize some sort of sacred spell sought out solely by sorcerers, but that’s not the case.
Because that doesn’t make any sense. Why does everypony collectively think the same thing when they see my cutiemark? And why does it have to be in a sentence with eleven S’es? Seriously, that’s so subtly securing the second sewers together to form the super sneaking spider snake.
I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean. I just had to think out a sentence with an equal amount of S’es present. I failed. That’s only ten S’es. Dammit.
In any case, Silver’s probably waking up uncomfortably close to Amethyst right about now. And knowing my sister, they’ll have about twenty minutes to cure themselves of the hangover before The Wrestler Of Masonville bursts through the door.
If you’re curious about the name, that’s what we call her in the family. TWOM. Because that’s the sound it made when she won the final battle against The Grandmaster Of Wrestlers From Masonville, or Hygienic Hoof, the butler at the nearby mansion fourteen years ago.
I don’t think my dear sister ever found out that he was simply playing along with her games to help her. Regardless, she earned her cutiemark from throwing the old butler through a store only to magically appear on the other side with a chair. A chair that was flying through the air towards the butler.
With the amount of magic present in Equestria, you might think that the butler was sent flying like some ball, and that they both walked away fine after that. That didn’t happen. The chair broke on impact with Hygienic, and TWOM’s jaw fractured on impact with his hoof.
I still remember the baffled looks on the nurses’ faces when we tried to explain that the filly they were currently bandaging up got her cutiemark from throwing an helpless old stallion through a shop. I also remember the better faces they made when they heard that the ‘helpless’ stallion fractured TWOM’s jaw.
Before I go any further, let me explain a few parts of this. TWOM was the one who got damaged, but Hygienic still lost. The rules stated that if one could throw the other through the air, that pony would win. We thought that she’d just throw him perhaps two metres, so it was really no big deal.
I suppose it’s about time that I get back to the matter at hoof, namely the situation I was in. I may have been bandaged all over, but there was no way I was going to see my sister get hurt. She may have been a professional wrestler, but there’s no way Silver’s going to lose. He’s a bucking wolf, what can you do against him?
But then again, Amethyst might have drugged him for whatever purpose. I just couldn’t be certain of her exact motive for doing so. It might have been one of the these reasons.
One reason could be her ‘experiences’ with wolves, but that seems unlikely seeing as how she didn’t have a problem setting the two of us on a date.
Another could be her heritage. She’s from a big family, I won’t be surprised if she hasn’t been able to sate certain ‘needs’ over the years. So drugging a wolf may be her only way to get laid, or to get close to somepo-someone.
Or she’s just really enjoys the thought of sexual intercourse with a being who’s capable of killing her in a heartbeat. That’s a possibility.
In any case, when they finally let go of me, I tried to relax as much as possible. I knew that the act of struggling against my family with these wounds opened them all up again, and I knew that my sister would soon be in the bed next to me.
At best, she’d be bruised all over. At worst she’d look like she came out of a train accident.
I’m picturing two scenarios. TWOM runs in on Wolf mounting Amethyst. Bad idea, don’t get in the way of a wolf during mating season. The second one is TWOM running in on them the morning after, which seems much more likely. It’s morning now, and I heard them head off towards the academy yesterday.
There’s also a third scenario. I prefer not to think about this one, even less write it but it has to be done. The two of them didn’t have sex, and as much as I’d like that it’s improbable. In any case, during this time of the day Silver would probably lie around Amethyst, eating some meat she gave him.
Seriously, what’s up with that mare and feeding Silver meat? We’ve only been around the academy for around two weeks, yet I’ve seen her gift him this stuff twice a day.
In any case, I doubt Silver would hold back against a stranger. I could tell that he was just beating me up to ‘teach me a lesson,’ but he doesn’t even know TWOM. I can’t imagine how that would happen.
Or they could just, I dunno, randomly lie around in a couch, cuddling up together without having fucked each other’s brains out. But seriously, why would they even do that? It’s not like Canisberg has some strange custom of poni-people bonding through drinking tea or alcohol.
In any case, I’ve been avoiding the biggest problem I had. Namely the one where I had to explain to my family that TWOM was going to get beaten up by a wolf. Or that she’d be pretty sore if Amethyst’s drug was still in his system.
Seriously, I’ve been avoiding it for like five minutes now. I’ve just been lying here, thinking in the past tense.
Ahem
“Excuse me,” I said, pulling myself back to reality, “we may have a bit of a problem.”
What followed was the roaring thunder of a thousand voices screaming out in despair and anger towards each other, all about me. In other words, my dear old mother and her sisters were arguing on whether or not they should restrain me, while the rest of my family had long since calmed down. It sounded like they had pulled out some deck of cards or something.
I decided that it would be best just to lie there and get used to the five senses again. It was obvious that my mother & the other hags hadn’t noticed me yet, and the others either knew I had to adapt or didn’t care.
After 30 seconds I had brought my senses down to the point that I was able to have a coherent sentence. I then realized that the hags didn’t argue about me; they argued about which type of fabric to use when sewing different types of dresses.
Most ponies would be terrified to hear that their ha-mother and aunts didn’t care about them, but I had never been so relieved in my life. It actually boosted me to the point of allowing me to get out of bed and trot over to the one where the others sat and played their card game.
I sat down on the bed next to a cousin I’m not going to bother naming right now. “Hey, stop eyeballing my cards, dude!”
Another cousin across the room yelled up at that. “Yeah, stop cheating! What’re you, sick or something?”
I cringed at that, taken back at the stupidity of my family. “I wouldn’t say I’m sick per se. It’s actually a lot closer to mutilation. So yeah, I’m fine.”
Everypony looked up from their cards and stared at me. After about five seconds they all moved away from the bed, allowing me to lie down. “Thank you,” I responded.
“Don’t mention it,” the first cousin began. “Just don’t peek at our cards mate.”
I cringed again, remembering the stupidity of my family. “I don’t have to peek at your cards, I can see it in your eyes what they are. I read all of you like an open book! It’s my cutiemark, you can’t hide anything from me!”
The same cousin looked up from the cards and stared at me wide-eyed. “I don’t want to play with you anymore!”
I stared at him with similar wide eyes. “I’m not even in the game, you dimwit!”
At that last remark, a few of my cousins looked up at me. Take note, as we Books value our card games highly. Looking up from one’s cards is big. Laying them face-down on the table is a declaration of war. With the ‘declaration’ being a subtle hint towards one’s friends, and the ‘war’ being a few spells thrown towards one’s enemy. Such as extending the sense of taste to their asshole.
My cousin got up, his cards close to his chest. “Why did you bail from the game, Brown?! Nopony bails on a Book, especially not one of our own!”
I cringed for the third time in ten minutes. “I was never in the game to begin with, cousin.”
With such a heated argument between cousins as this, you might think that other family members would ignore it, or at least pretend that it wasn’t going on. That is true. ‘other family members would ignore it.’ These cousins just doesn’t care.
They are the farthest and closest branch of the family. They are furthest away when it comes to blood, but they are literally the closest. They’re the only branch of the family who also lives in Canterlot, the rest are stationed at all the other major cities.
My mother has four ha-sisters. And my beloved father has brothers. Thirteen of them. All of these siblings have children, at least 2 of them. And lets not forget that each of my uncles and hags are married as well, bringing on a whole new row of grand cousins.
I’m cursed with this much family, as I have to keep track of everypony, so it’s common for us to just refer to each other as cousin. Even if it’s an uncle. Cousin. Except for my mother and the other hags, we all call those the hags. Even their foals are in on that.
How did all this happen? Why was I cursed with having to cope with so many horrible ponies? Was this the judgement of some omnipresent being in the skies, or some boulder locked away in the basement of some delusional unicorn living alone in Denmarek?
In any case, my dear cousins and I were close enough to show up at the hospital. But not close enough to give a buck when I got in an argument. But something that is widely known to all Books, and all those who have met one is the declaration of war.
I’m pretty sure I mentioned it earlier, but to recap you only put your cards face down when your special somepony spreads wide right in front of you or if she’s spread wide right in front of you.
But that’s exactly what he did.
Now, as much as I’d like the idea of him seeing me in the light of his ‘very’ special somepony, I don’t think that would fit the context properly. First off, I was bandaged all over, thanks to Silver’s little ‘lecture’ on food. Secondly, we were surrounded by family. Sure, the family was preoccupied with all the things they were doing (card games, all of them) but they were still there.
So, naturally, they were all very loud. But, the sound of two cards flopping down on a table soon resonated throughout the room. As soon as those two pieces of paper hit the table, everything went silent.
No, that’s not true, everypony went silent. Every sound in the room came from a pony, so the correct thing to say would have to be everypony went silent. Either way, I was fucked.
Thoughts flew through my mind at that very second, and I quickly concluded that the only thing that was going to get me out of this was magic. So I decided to cut off the magic feed that powered the device that wrote all of this dow
***
The first thoughts that flew through my head was “I’ve never been so happy to hear my sister fly through a shop!”
I quickly discovered that my pursuer hadn’t forgotten about me, as he yelled something in my direction. “GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT! NOPONY BREAKS THE BOOK CODE!”
I was about to reply with something vity that explained that I never even broke the code, but TWOM cut me off. “You touch Brown at your own risk!”
My cousin teleported out from the maze I trapped him in and confronted TWOM directly. I didn’t understand why he didn’t just teleport directly to me earlier, rather than waiting for TWOM to appear.
“Stay out of this, bastard! This is a battle between trueborn Books!” My cousin replied.
I didn’t remember if this was explained earlier, but the only Books that were considered real was the fullborn ones. The bastards were never counted in whenever the family were given it’s share of gold from the treasury. We got the gold due to our forefather wedding one of the founders, yet none of us remembered which one. All we knew was that every year, we got five hundred bits for each member of the family.
Twom turned her head over to me and asked me if he had dazed me, as she said I had been zoning out; staring into thin air. I realized that this must have been how it looked to the outside world when I remembered everything about the history of Book, and recited it in the past tense.
I looked up at her, only to be interrupted by a familiar voice resonating from the hole in the shop right behind me. “Ugh, am I interrupting anything here? Everyone OK?”
Cousin immediately yelled back in response, venom dripping from his words. “Stay out of this, wolf! You pesky northerners should mind your own business! Stay out of your affairs, and don’t even think about touching us!”
Silver looked at cousin with a frown on his face, slowly walking out on the street. “Excuse me?”
Even while Silver spoke cousin began insulting him once again. “Stay away! Just like you did a thousand years ago when our people starved! Stop right there, and go home! Go back to your family like the little pub you are! Go back to the north and dream of sweet meat, you won’t get any of mine!”
To be fair, Silver did wait until after cousin insulted him to attack him. But once he did, he didn’t stick with what I saw when he pounced on me the day before. He used all of the traits his species are known for. Specifically, claws, fangs, agility, night-vision, and most importantly, howls.
One might wonder why howls could be have anything to say in the matter once wolves go in for the kill. They do not have anything to do with killing, they are used for different things entirely.
In this particular case, striking fear into the heart of a pony. One might wonder how a howl could strike fear into others, but in this case the answer is very clear.
My cousin expressed his hate towards wolves, and my roommate’s a wolf.
*Note to self, see the teacher to test the spell. There were no descriptions of the surroundings in neither mine or the other’s transcripts.*