"Well this looks pretty, she said into the void of colour that surrounded her- hey wait a minute why am I narrating myself in third person out loud now? Doing it in my head in the first place was weird enough but now it just sounds like I'm going crazy or something."
"Yeah you probably are going crazy, other than that though it seems that here everything you think is broadcast which explains why everything you think is being said wait I just said that didn't I? I hate it when I go off in a random repeating tangent"
"Who are you? Jess exclaimed as she looked around the landscape before her eyes came upon a silhouette in the distance. As soon as the figure was spotted it suddenly appeared closer and revealed what it was. A goat. After the realisation hit her she burst out hahahaha!"
"Very well, laugh your ass off, see if I care. As if I'd be willing to have a nice conversation with someone who blatantly insults someone they just met, I mean honestly that is just ru-"
"Hush now Billy, there are much more serious issues here other than blind racism."
"Jess looked besides the disgruntled goat into what she thought was only empty space but turned out to actually be a deer. It spoke in an almost motherly voice to the goat and the deer must have been friends with him if it knew his name was Billy. Wait your name is Billy and you're a goat? Hahahaha!"
"Wow she looks stupid, I was clearly mocking the idiot but she clearly took it wrong. Billy, be a dear and kick her or something would you?"
"She's a bit rude isn't she? I only met her like ten minutes ago and she's already calling me names. My name is Harry not Billy you stupid Deer. Still though, no harm in kicking a giant bird thing."
"I think that Billy is a bit dumb if he can't remember that we can hear his thoughts, how dare the ugly thing call me stupid! I'll have to remind myself later that dammit this is just getting silly now!"
"After laughing her ass off for a few minutes while Harry and the deer had their silly banter, Jess finally decided to calm down and reassess the situation a bit before suddenly there was a flash of light and oh my god what the hell are you?!"
"What? What is but the function following the form of who and who I am is a god with a hat" were only things to come out of the odd things mouth for a few moments before Jess finally realised that 'My thought's aren't being broadcast anymore!' and after which she fully examined the creature.
It seemed like it was a kids failed build-a-bear creation where the dumb thing just grabbed a bunch of random parts but managed to somehow stitch them together perfectly. What it had said before certainly was true, it was wearing a rather large top hat, a rather small top hat, an enormous top hat, a baseball cap, a sombrero, a tennis racket, a fish, three bears doing handstands on each other and it kept changing things in a really annoying manner which could only be described as-
"Chaotic, you guessed it alright. I'm Discord the lord and god of all things fun, so come and gather round everyone!" Discord shouted in an odd sort of rhyme but it seemed as though the others were frozen in time, as Jess watched on they slowly picked their mouths off the floor and realised they had the ability to talk once more.
"What the hell does that mean?! Is this some kind of joke? " said the deer with quite a menacing hoof poke. She had walked right up to the god and tried to stare him down, but his lack of reaction only caused her to frown. So she huffed and moved back to her spot, when suddenly what once was nothing, nothing there was not. When she had been moving back she hadn't expected that she'd fall over a log, which turned out to be Discord who now wore a hat in the shape of a frog.
"Of course it isn't deer. Why would I do jokes like that? I'd prefer a new hat." Said the odd God thing, that seemed bent on making, the author create shitty poems. When at that moment, Jess decided to exclaim, her thoughts at the time.
"Why are my thoughts haiku's? This is just bat-shit insane! And what mean by author?!" Jess said in a blur, her choice of words hadn't really made much sense because she had never written a haiku in her lifetime as she never had the skill for it. Harry and the deer of course just stood there with mouths agape at the strange scene that was unfolding in front of them while the god who'd created the mess just rolled on the floor in laughter
"It's been a while since I've been able to have that much fun messing with some-pony, put 'er there!" Discord stuck a paw out to Jess, when she slowly made contact with it though she was suddenly a few meters off the ground with her head pointed down to the non-existant floor. After a quick scream and a loud thunk she grumbled and stood, anger clearly apparent on her face from the death glare she was giving Discord.
"Alright I've had it! Explanation! Now! And don't you dare do anything annoying akin arranging all apparent announcements to start with the letter.... Damn you!" Jess at this point was thoroughly pissed, if the aura of murder she was giving off wasn't enough of an indication. The deer and Harry were now slowly moving away, casting worried glances between the two.
"Alright fine, have a seat" and with a snap of his talon there were suddenly seats everywhere, absolutely everywhere. The group was suddenly in a room literally made in an arrangement of seats which went rudely ignored by Jess as she yanked one out of a wall and sat down impatiently. The other two decided to just sit on the ground at this point, they had pretty much given up at this point and both decided to just sit this out and let the two insane things talk to each other.
Discord for his part chose to take a seat as well, on the roof. "Yes I understand this might be confusing so here's a quick explanation in the form of a story!" he exclaimed throwing his arms out as all the chairs suddenly disappeared and they were back where they started only this time with a floating table between them all and a large blue book with a blank cover on the table.
"Best of all it's the popup version!" Discord decided to emphasize this by dramatically opening the book with his right paw fast enough that it came off and flew across the room. Sure enough the book was a popup because now it showed a smaller version of Discord sitting on a throne, smiling down at two horses that had wings and a horn.
"Once upon a thousand years ago, busy year, two Alicorn princesses decided to overthrow the God of Chaos due to all the panic he was causing at the time even though he was only having a little fun" he turned the page with his talon this time, which decided to join the paw in the void. The next page showed a statue of Discord in a garden.
"They used the elements of harmony to trap him in a prison of really uncomfortable stone which really sucked because he had an itch at the time so it quickly became unbearable." Discord punctuated this by scratching a phantom itch on his back with his tail before it turned to the next page and floated into the sky. This page showed discord in front of six horses that seemed familiar to Jess.
"A thousand years later he escaped, only to be thwarted once more by six ponies who became the new hosts of the element of harmony. One stubborn earth pony, one annoying earth pony, one egotistical Pegasus, one timid Pegasus, one really annoying unicorn, and one sheltered unicorn." This time he used a wing to turn the page which soon joined with the other and flew away. The new page showed Discord standing next to the yellow Pegasus that Jess remembered from the fire.
"Shortly after his imprisonment he was freed again, on the premise that he not cause chaos and become a force for good. After a few days of living with Fluttershy he befriended her and decided to not use his chaos to make things get too out of hoof." Now he just leaned over and used his tongue to turn the page before exploding into multi-coloured bubbles. The last page showed discord on a couch staring at the ceiling, or he was until he suddenly faced the three who were huddled around the book.
"After a while though he got bored again, so he came up with an idea. An idea that wouldn't be too chaotic to get him in trouble but chaotic enough for him to have some fun" Discord had said with a devilish grin before leaping out of the book, much to the shock of those huddled around it, "He thought to himself one day 'Why don't I get some other bored creatures and bring them here? I could turn them each into some animal that I'm made of and a bit of my power to have fun with' so lo and behold here you are!"
This statement caused the deer, goat and gryphon to just sit there for a few moments while gears turned in their heads before finally the questions rushed into their minds.
"What about my friends and family?! I had a life!" Said the deer.
"You said into some animal that you're made of, how many did you bring here?!" Said the goat.
"Where are we anyway and why do you have that mask of a pink pony on your face?" Said the gryphon who had obviously not caught up with the situation yet because she was a little slow.
Discord of course was loving the attention and decided to answer each question in a rapid-fire that would make Pinkie Pie proud, "Notanymoreyoudon'tbecauseIgrabbedeachofyoujustbeforeyouweresupposedtodiesotechnicallyIsavedyourlives. Ibroughtsevendifferentcharactersherewhoyouwillallpossiblymeetinthefuture. Technicallyyou'reinEqustriabutrealisticallyyou'reinadreamscapeIcreatedthatacertainblueprincesscan'tgetintorightnowthatwillletthoseofyouIbroughtheretocommunicatewhenyousleepatthesametime" after this he threw away the mask and seemed to calm down a little, "the mask doesn't make much sense now but after you wake up I'm sure it will."
Five minutes. That was how long it took the deer and the goat to understand what Discord said. Jess on the other hand apparently understood it right off the bat for some reason and decided to ask another question, "So what kind of creatures are the others? And why would it make sense when I wake up?"
Discord just laughed at this for four minutes and picked up Jess by the scruff of her neck, holding her at eye level "I won't tell you what they are because that would spoil the surprise. To answer your second question" he dragged out before he let Jess go. She panicked as she faced the ground that wasn't there only for it to open up and her along with the goat and deer suddenly found themselves falling face-first towards the ground from thousands of miles in the sky.
Needless to say after about five minutes of them all screaming Jess fainted, screaming as she sat up in a hospital bed surrounded by six shocked ponies, one of which was holding onto her talon. She then saw what looked to be a small dragon on the other side of the room and immediately fainted.