Applejack’s expression hardened. Her back legs tensed. She readied them for a good, solid buck to a hard surface. She squinted and lowered her head, her father’s hat covering her view for a moment. Counting to ten in her mind, Applejack inhaled heavily and closed her eyes. She had to time it just right or else she could seriously hurt herself. She released the air in her lungs with a long exhale and opened her eyes.
Just one, hard kick.
One well aimed slam with her hooves into the annoying, smug, pretentious face of a pony that would not, for the life of her, leave her alone.
Her walk became more of a stomp as she continued to listen to the prattle of the high society stallion following her every step. On and on he went, bragging about things that held no importance to the farm mare but, according to Rarity, had wowed those fancy-schmancy ponies back in Manehatten and Canterlot. For three hours he trailed her like a lost puppy, following her every movement and making unnecessary comments about her town, her farm, and herself.
The remarks made towards her were especially confusing. How in the world does she glisten like a red, juicy apple? Her hair appeared as soft as golden silk? She has a resplendent figure? What the hay did that even mean?
At times, his observations, which seemed to be centered on her, made her uncomfortable and annoyed. Other times, they just seemed down right silly. If she didn’t know any better, she would have believed him to be hitting on her. The thought made her scoff. She definitely wasn't his type. He was the sort of pony who enjoyed the company of mares with style and flair, always in the know from fashion to gossip. She didn't know either and if she did, that information would most likely come from Rarity. Applejack was a simple, country gal, a farmer who worried more about her family and friends then what a celebrity did at a social gathering.
Not to mention he was definitely not her type. She went for rough, strong, independent, loyal fighters who could take her on and still be loving. The type of ponies who could hold her weight and not buckle from the strain. Colorful pegasi with determination in their eyes and strength in their hearts. A pegasus who cares for her farm and family just as much as she does.
Applejack released a small smile, her gaze drifting to the skies in search for a certain cyan pegasus. All around, pegasi busied themselves for the Ponyville Days festival taking place under Rarity’s command. They flew with different assortments of decorations, covering the tops of nearby buildings and trees with streamers, lanterns, and special fabric made by the fashionista herself. However, her pegasus was not among them.
Applejack lowered her head and let out a small sigh. Having Rainbow Dash walking beside her would have been a comfort. It was confusing enough trying to understand the appeal of the stallion behind her. Rainbow’s honest opinion of the traveling pony would have been greatly appreciated. Not to mention she wouldn’t have been afraid to admit loudly how much of an ass he was being.
Rainbow would have also unabashedly encouraged the buck to the face Applejack so desperately wanted to give him.
She shook her head slightly and willed herself to calm down. The image of Rainbow relaxed her, if not made her slightly giddy, but now was not the time to get distracted. She focused her attention back to her irritating situation.
He was just interviewing her for his traveling article. There was no need to get so upset. Besides, bucking him in the face would make matters worse. Not only would she have to deal with Rarity’s wrath for kicking her absurd crush but she also couldn’t afford to have a broken glass shard from his thick frames lodge itself into one of her hooves. She would be slow-going in finishing her chores, as if she wasn’t behind enough without his persistent, if not exasperating, questions about her and the farm.
Oh, and it probably wouldn’t be the right thing to do.
But mostly, she just did not want to deal with a painful glass shard wedged into a hoof and a fuming Rarity on top of her already busy and ridiculously long afternoon.
“You know, I have such respect for the work ethic of Earth ponies.”
‘Screw it.’
She quickly calculated the type of force she would need to put into the kick that would not only knock the ignorant stallion right off his hooves but would also show him how much energy an Earth pony had. Her only regret for this action would be that Rainbow wasn’t there to witness it. The cyan pegasus was the only pony among her friends who could appreciate a good roundhouse kick.
‘No. Be kind, he’s jus’ an energetic pony with a curious bone. No different from Pinkie Pie.’
Except Pinkie Pie never annoyed Applejack half as much as this fella currently was. Not to mention she had more tact and respect in her pink mane alone than this pompous ass had in his whole body.
Applejack squinted her eyes.
‘Jus’ be kind.’ She thought to herself as she ground her teeth.
“Uh, gee, thanks. Granny Smith always said, ‘Pick an apple a day and keep trouble away.’”
Applejack shared a fake smile with him, one that made her nauseous, before turning around and continuing her walk. She breathed in deeply and closed her eyes, relaxing her tensed muscles that had readied themselves for a firm, hard buck to a face that didn’t really deserve it. After all, he was just interested in learning more about the orchard, even if his questions were irritating and seemed to be more focused on her.
She repeated to herself over and over that he was there to collect information about Ponyville and it's founding. Since Sweet Apple Acres was the heart of Ponyville itself, it only made sense that he gather as much information from her as he could. He may have been going about it the wrong way but, hey, he was a traveling writer after all. Maybe this was his way of interviewing ponies, by integrating himself into their lives to gain a better sense of how they lived in their bustling town or city.
Also, this rare opportunity was not only a big deal for Ponyville but for Sweet Apple Acres too. If he wrote a full article about the founding of Ponyville, he would have no choice but to mention the Apple family and their business. This could mean big things! If this ‘Trenderhoof’ fella was as popular as Rarity said he was, than his article could bring in more tourists for Ponyville and extra business for Sweet Apple Acres.
They may finally be able to afford the hip surgery Granny Smith was desperately in need of. Maybe even purchase some new tools that weren’t rusty or worn out from overuse. Not to mention add more bits to Applebloom’s school tuition jar.
She had no choice. If she wanted to take care of her family and her farm properly, she had to play it cool. No bucking ponies in the face.
That didn’t mean she wouldn’t fantasize about it.
“How many varieties of apples do you think there are?”
Applejack glanced at him in confusion. “Uh, on the farm or in all of Equestria? ‘Cause--“
“I once had an apple so rare, they thought it was extinct. I ate four of them!”
Trenderhoof took a giant bite from the apple he had stolen from Applejack’s basket and chewed loudly in front of her. Applejack flinched from the seeds and pulp that smacked her in the face. Juices dripped from her bangs and into her eyes causing her to give a one-eye glare to the traveling pony. She scowled at the ground as she wiped away the mess.
“Is that a fact?” She replied dryly.
“That’s my thing.” He leaned in close, his body pressed tightly against her. Applejack gave him an angry look, one he didn’t notice as he turned towards the crowd of ponies before them.
“I take the mundane, the simple, the…unappreciated, and I make it relatable.”
With a wide grin, Trenderhoof pointed towards innocent ponies within the crowd, each one staring back at him with insulted expressions painted on their faces. Applejack gave him a simple blank look. Noticing his attention was for once not on her, she quickly turned around and walked away.
“Well, I hope you can relate to Ponyville.”
Thanking the sun and moon for the distraction, she swiftly made her way towards her home to complete her chores. However, her sneaky escape was not quick enough. Applejack suddenly found herself face to face with her stalker, his lilac eyes staring straight into hers. She stared back in shock, his unexpected appearance making her jump slightly before she scrunched up her muzzle in frustration.
“Me too. But enough about me! I want to know about you. What do apples mean to…Applejack?”
Applejack bit back a sharp retort to his question. She silently cursed herself for even saying anything at all. If she had just been quiet, he would have noticed too late she had left.
‘Should have run for the hills.’
Her brows furrowed and she looked down for a few seconds to think. Trenderhoof was not going to let her go. No matter how kindly she hinted that she was busy he still refused to leave her be. She didn’t want to be rude to the fella but what other choice did she have? It was either put up with his insistent ramblings or knock out all his shiny, white teeth and pull his tongue out so he never spoke a word to her again.
Currently, she was aiming towards the latter.
However, the image of a furious, red faced Rarity popped into her mind making her cringe. It wouldn’t be in her favor if Trenderhoof found his way to the fashion designer’s doorstep with two black eyes and a concussion.
He was also writing that article. If she wanted any advertisement for her farm she would have to be respectful. No matter how much she wanted to wring his giraffe sized neck and give him a stern talking to about boundaries, she had no other option but to politely explain how occupied she presently was with her chores and to, simple put it, buzz off.
It was the best choice, though not the preferred one.
With a small sigh, she looked up towards his glimmering, bright eyes full of…something. With a thoughtful look and furrowed eyebrows, she stared back. It wasn't the first time today she made eye contact with the annoying pony, but it was the first time she noticed the glint in his gaze. She couldn’t put her hoof on why that expression seemed so familiar to her, like she had seen it before on another pony. Shaking her head, she once again focused her attention on Trenderhoof.
“Look, I’m glad you’re interested in Ponyville and all, but I’m kinda busy with my chores. And if I can’t get ’em done, there won’t be a Ponyville Days Festival for ya to write about.”
“Well, that will never do!”
Applejack froze, recognizing the voice shouting a few feet away from her. Slowly, she turned her attention towards Rarity.
‘Celestia, I hope she didn’t hear the way I talked to hi—‘
Her mind went blank upon seeing the eccentric outfit her dramatic friend was wearing. It was unique, even for Rarity, that was for sure. In true Rarity fashion, she had designed an outfit that held similar references to a farmer’s work apparel. Except with more gems, lace, and ribbon than was absolutely necessary or even needed. Applejack was positive she wore the exact same outfit for Nightmare Night a couple of years back when she dressed as one of her favorite country singers, Dolly Mareton.
Applejack’s mouth quivered and she bit her lip to keep in the hysterical laugh that wanted to burst from her mouth.
“Rarity, what are ya wearin’?” said Applejack after she cleared her throat.
“What? This old thing?” Rarity gestured to her brilliant outfit. It certainly didn't look old.
Applejack gave her a worried look.
“Aren’t ya too busy plannin’ the festival to keep makin’ new outfits for it?”
Rarity sashayed her way towards Trenderhoof, eyeing him up and down before turning her attention towards Applejack.
“I am, but the thought of hauling apples inspired me. And I just couldn’t stop myself!”
Applejack raised an eyebrow and grimaced.
“Really?”
“If there’s one thing I love, it’s hauling apples.”
Rarity flipped her mane and seductively winked towards Trenderhoof. Applejack, on the other hoof, turned her head away from both ponies to frown and roll her eyes. It was obvious Rarity was trying hard to impress the writer or at least grab his attention, something Applejack had been trying to brush off for the last three hours. What really made her upset though was the way Rarity was going about it. It made her a little sick to see her friend being somepony she wasn’t simply to impress a stallion that, in Applejack’s opinion, was not worth a lick of her time.
Also, Rarity never showed an interest in her apples before. Using her sweet apples as an excuse to flirt with the narcissistic stallion rubbed Applejack the wrong way.
Meanwhile, the distraction Rarity had created did not sway Trenderhoof’s attention. Instead he inched himself closer towards Applejack.
“I’m growing fond of it myself.” He said with a befuddled grin, closing the gap between himself and the farm mare.
Applejack backed away shooting him a dirty look. She glanced back at Rarity only to catch her making goo-goo eyes at Trenderhoof. Raising her eyebrow at her friend, she turned away so as they not see her silently judging them both.
“Maybe you two should try it sometime.” She mumbled under her breath.
Suddenly, Trenderhoof struck a pose causing Rarity to jump. Applejack just raised her other eyebrow.
“I’m feeling a tad inspired.” He said. To Rarity’s delight and to Applejack’s horror, Trenderhoof turned towards the fashionista and began to dramatically serenade her to the music in his head.
“Without farm life, there’d be such disparity.”
‘Oh, dear Luna…’ Applejack thought sending another angry look towards the traveling pony.
“These thoughts I think with great clarity!”
Applejack shot a look at Rarity to see if she was actually buying into his lunacy but from the glazed expression and goofy smile plastered on Rarity’s face, it was more than clear she was.
“Apples high to the sky, she’s the one of my eye.”
With a serious look, Trenderhoof grasped Rarity’s chin and gently caressed her. Rarity practically melted in his hooves. She held him back gently, her eyes glazed and happy.
“That fruit-hauling pony named…Applejack!”
He twisted around and fiercely grabbed Applejack by her face holding her close. Applejack just stared at him in confusion, a slight disgusted look on her face.
“Uhh…”
‘What?’
Swiveling her wide eyes to look behind him, Applejack could see the disbelief and shock etched onto Rarity’s face. Her hat appeared to have deflated with her. Applejack quickly pushed herself away from Trenderhoof, staring at him in confusion and frustration before turning around with a huff. She walked towards Sweet Apple Acres in a hurry; her back legs tense as they readied themselves for a buck she would, unfortunately, have to take out on one of her apple trees. Without turning around or stopping, she addressed the stallion watching her leave.
“Listen, it was real nice talkin’ to ya, Mr. Trenderhoof, but I have some business to attend to. I’m sure Rarity wouldn’t mind answerin’ anymore questions ya may have. Right, Rarity?”
“O-of course. I’d be…more than happy to help.”
Applejack never saw the venomous glare Rarity shot her way.