She stood resolute, not giving an inch. Her tears were all that told me that this was hard for her to do. I’d never been as tough as her, I let my emotions run free and wild and tried with all my heart to silently show her that it was me!
Maybe if I showed her my mark? No, Discord could duplicate that easily. Maybe the car in the centre of town? How would I get her to come with me? As my mind searched for a plan, my options became bleaker and bleaker. I needed something to show her how much I cared! If only I had my coat with me! Why the HELL had I left it with Applejack.
My mind crossed over all the friends I had found here, how they had finally realised it was really me and nobody else. Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie pie, Rarity and Spike! The last two were now together. It seemed like some sort of cruel joke, the two who had seemed as though they would last forever now seemed without hope, while the pony and the dragon who no one had ever expected to work out, were strong and caring for each other. I wanted to be like that, to be the way we were again. I knew, somewhere deep inside her heart, Rainbow did as well.
“P-please...don’t run...” I whimpered through silent heaving sobs. She didn’t say anything, why did she have to look at me with those miserable, heartbroken eyes. The feeling of being so close to the one I loved, and they simply fear you. It was the hardest feeling I have ever dealt with. Nothing hurts as much as that!
I took a step towards her, this time she didn’t retreat, however she did tense up her muscles. She could fly away at any moment, and I would never see her again if she wished. “Please...” I begged again, my hand was still stretched out to her. Though she still looked weary, she relaxed slightly. The tips of her wings still twitched, making it obvious that she was still ready to go if the need arose.
I took steps towards her as though I were a child first learning to walk, or as if I stood on thin and fracturing ice. My hand came ever nearer to her face, she watched it edgily. I stopped with it only a few inches from her nose. She leant in slightly in spite of her own doubt, she smelled my hand. For the first time in my life, I saw her as a pony and not a person. She was relying on her instincts to help her as she always did.
I dropped to me knees to show her I meant no harm. Still she smelled my fingers. Her face was obscured from my view by the five digits. Her breath was warm on my palm, it took all my control just to stay calm and not throw myself at her. She finally moved her head, and looked at me from above my finger tips. Did she recognise my scent? The same way I had recognised hers when I was in the house?
She finally moved. She walked past my outstretched arm, and came to a halt right before me. She sat on her haunches, the tears seemed to have stopped rolling from her eyes for a moment. She stared into my own eyes, hers twitched from point to point searching for something. Slowly her right forehoof rose from the ground and travelled up towards my face. She placed it against my left cheek, her touch was warm despite the cold of the night.
I pushed my face into her hoof, it felt like every nerve in my body had gone numb except for the place of contact. To feel her touch again, was enough to give myself a little hope, maybe she’d would realise who I was through the connection. (unlikely I know, but I had to hope) I simply knelt there, hoping her touch would never leave my face.
As I watched Rainbow, her mouth parted slightly. Was she about to say something? Did she know it was me? Her brow furrowed as though in deep thought. Come on baby! Please! It’s Tom, just see it! PLEASE! She whispered, “D-Discord...couldn’t act this well... but... Tom’s...” She left the sentence unfinished. She didn’t need to end it. I knew she meant, ‘Tom’s...dead.”
“Dash, baby it’s me. No one else, it’s just me.” I tried to smile at her through my streaming tears. WRONG MOVE! Rainbow pulled away her hoof at my pleading with her to realise who I really was. She now backed away from me, shaking her head as she looked at the ground attempting to shake away the thoughts that I may be alive.
“NO!” she unfurled her wings and beat them slightly, this sent her into the air and made her sail a few feet away from me once again. At least she hadn’t left...yet.
“YOU DID ALL THIS BEFORE!” She screamed at me through the silence of the night. “I WON’T LET YOU TRICK ME AGAIN!” I had been so close, but my big mouth had ruined it! I stumbled towards her.
“DASH! LOOK AT ME! LOOK INTO MY EYES, SEARCH FOR AS LONG AS YOU WANT! I’M NOT THAT DAMNED MONSTER!” I was sobbing now, as was she.
She took a strong step forward towards me, and she finally did the thing that broke my spirit, soul, and heart all in the same instant. She screamed at me. “YOU ARE A MONSTER! WE ALL BURRIED TOM A YEAR AGO, AND NOW THAT WE ARE FINALLY STARTING TO GET BACK TO NORMAL YOU DECIDE IT’S TIME TO RETURN AND HURT US ALL AGAIN!” I knew that she was speaking to what she thought was Discord, but the same thing could easily be applied to me.
I was wrong to have come back. I had thought from the very beginning that my friends could have been moving on, and hadn’t wanted for me to come back. I should have listened to my gut and turned down the draconequus’ offer. Of course if it would have meant me pain for the rest of my life, but at least she would be happy.
I turned in silence and headed for the gate. This was the only way I could make her happy, all I ever wanted was to make her happy. “Where do you think you’re going?!” I heard her yell from behind me. I looked over my shoulder at her and sighed.
“I’m hurting you just by being here. I’m leaving, I’d never want to hurt you Dash. So if that means I have to go...” I looked away as the tears flowed freely once again. “Then fine.”
“Stop it! No matter how much you act like him, you won’t make me fall for it again!” She yelled again, she thought I was acting. Well that I couldn’t help, I’d tried everything I had so now all I could do was leave. This time I didn’t bother to turn back. I simply told her the truth.
“This will make you happy, that’s all I ever wanted to do, to make you happy baby.” I reached the gate of the graveyard and pulled it open and travelled out into the open space between the town and the church.
Holy hell this hurt! But it was all I could do. I continued towards the houses close by, I’d go and get my coat from Applejack and leave. I had no idea when! Jesus, it was all happening again! Yet again I was leaving the little town, but at least it was for someone other than myself this time. That’s the only positive thing I could think of. It was hard to think of anything good at a time like this.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I noticed the gate never clanged shut behind me, I could feel somepony’s eyes on me, but I couldn’t bring myself to look back. If I did I knew I would never be able to go through with this, I could only do it now by running Rainbows scream through my mind again and again.
Maybe Pinkie was on her way, if she was hopefully she could cheer up Dash, she was always good at that. (Italic) ‘look back’ no! ‘She’s waiting for you to look back, do it! You don’t want to leave her!’ of course I don’t, but it’s for the best. It was a mistake for me to come here. ‘NO, it wasn’t! Just look back. LOOK BACK! JUST. LOOK. BACK!’ A muscle twitched in the back of my neck, trying to pull my head around, and then slowly another joined it and then another.
I couldn’t help it. I stopped walking and looked back through weeping eyes. There she stood, against the gate watching me go. Though she was still crying, she still looked radiant to me! Her pink eyes gleamed in the silver moonlight, her lips parted and she whimpered across the space between us.
“Wait...please...” my legs seemed to freeze at her request. She struggled to speak for a moment, then she swallowed and tried again.
“How do I know if it’s real or not? He made it seem reel a year ago!” He? “I-I can’t go through it all again. When he showed himself as who he really was, it was like losing Tom all over again.” So she didn’t think I was Discord anymore, but she also didn’t think I was Tom either. “If I trust that it’s you, I’m leaving myself open again, open to get hurt...”
I wanted to tell her I would never hurt her, how I would never let ANYONE hurt her again. That I would hunted anyone who tried down to the ends of the earth and make them pay, just as she had thought she should when I had left. But the words wouldn’t come out. All I could let lose was a garbled chocking noise. My voice was giving out after all the tears and sobs. She finished with one last statement. “I buried Tom a year ago, and if your here now. Then I don’t know what you are.
Her words crippled me, I fell to my knees slamming my fists into the ground. through the corner of my eyes I saw Rainbow take a step towards me in worry. I didn’t care anymore! I shouted, not at her but at the ground beneath my hands. “I am what I am! I cannot change it! I AM the human who fell in love with you after racing you through Ponyville, I’m the man who loves you with all his heart and always will do! I love you! I cannot say it any simpler than that!” She seemed to let out another unsure sob. I threw my body back and screamed at the star coated sky.
“DISCORD! YOU DID THIS TO ME! YOU TOOK ME AWAY FROM HERE! I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE BALANCE! YOU DID THIS!” I was swearing! That’s how broken I was! “I HATE YOU! WHY DID YOU TAKE ME? WHY COULDN’T YOU JUST LET IT ALL UNRAVEL? AT LEAST IT WOULD MEAN I’D HAVE LIVED THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH D-A-SH...” My scream broke up at the end, and it shifted into hateful sobs.
I looked at the pony I loved. She had come closer while I had screamed, she looked at me now with less fear in her eyes. Why? Why was my screaming making her less scared, it should terrify her more surely!
Whilst still looking into her eyes I asked the only question that meant anything to me to the Chimera of chaos. “Why bring me back, just to let me see I can’t be with her anymore? It’s worse than dyeing!” Her mouth opened in confusion. When no answer came from the shadows, I sighed, my breath shook with anger and grief. I fell back forward, my head pushed against my knees and I cried as though all I cared about was leaving me. In fact, it was!
My body heaved under each sob, my back rose and fell, rose and fell, rose and...a warm hoof fell on my back. It rested on top of me. Pinkie had found me, or maybe Applejack, or Twilight. I didn’t look up. I just cried as my heart seemed to fall from my chest. A head pressed against the crown of my own. Stop trying to cheer me up! Dash had made it all clear to me, I didn’t belong here! It had been another trick from Discord!
“...Hey...” said a shaky yet warm voice. My sobs seemed to vanish at the sound of her voice. That wasn’t pinkie, or Applejack, or Twilight Sparkle. I brought my head up, the other head stayed pushed against mine as it slid down from my crown to my forehead. I looked into a pair of big pink eyes. “Don’t cry, I can’t stand to see you cry...” what was she doing. “Discord...brought you here?” She asked, her eyes weren’t angry anymore, or scared, or fearful, they were the closest to how they had looked on that night. The night with her in our room, in our bed, in our home.
I couldn’t talk, I merely nodded against her rainbow mane. She stayed silent for a moment. “From where?” She asked. My mouth formed the word but there was no breath behind it. So I gulped and managed to whisper it hoarsely.
“Earth, I woke up on earth. He offered a way back to...back to you. So I took it.” her eyes closed for a minute, to my amazement her lips curled into a smile.
“You’re telling me you travelled from another world just to see me again?” I took hold of her rainbow mane’d head and held it close to me, I felt her breath against my face. How I had missed that sensation!
“Baby,” I began, “I’d cross the entire universe just to see you again!” We both let out a choked laugh as he sat there next to one another. Her mane had fallen over her eyes, so I took a hand and swept it away. She looked at me for another moment.
“Tom... It’s really you isn’t it” How many Ponies would ask me that?!
“You mean...you believe me?” I asked amazedly. Her eye locked in on mine again. Her mouth opened and she let out a deep sigh of relief.
“Yeah!” She flung her arms over my shoulders and kissed me! She kissed me! Her force through me to the ground as she released an entire years of longing all out at once! I held her tightly to my chest, running my fingers through her soft fur and mane. Her tongue danced with mine, and we both lay there for Celestia knows how long! I never wanted this moment to end, She believed me! She was mine again!