As I noticed what he’d been eating all along, I did not hesitate to voice my opinion on the matter. “I’ve told you several times already. Don’t eat meat in front of other ponies!”
My roommate’s a wolf. I do not know why he chose to move to Canterlot, the capital of Equestria, or as he calls it, “Canterfood.” Now, in case you have been living on a rock farm up until now, you should know that wolves are different from ponies in one particular way.
They eat meat. But they don’t just eat it. They long for it, they crave it, every second of their day is filled with thoughts of their next meal.
While it is possible for him to go out and assault any random pony and eat them on the spot, he does not do this. When he explained why he would not do this he simply said, “Raw ponies like you don’t taste good. You have to be cooked first.”
At first I thought he was joking, but it turned out that he was serious. He had tasted both raw and cooked pony before. Initially, this frightened me, but when he explained the circumstances my view of him changed completely.
Well actually this all happened an hour ago, so it’s not really all that long ago. I suppose you could say that it is because the story only really started just now, but some backstory would be required.
***
We were both in our dorm room unpacking, and he had just told me that he had tasted pony meat before.
“Don’t look at me like that; man, you’re staring at me like I’m some kind of monster,” he said.
“Well, you just said that you’ve tasted pony meat before. Why wouldn’t I be scared?” I asked.
Silver put down the cardboard box he was holding and started walking over to me. “My agility’s better than that of any pony, my teeth are razor-sharp, and I can see in the dark. My body is literally designed for hunting creatures like yourself, and now you’re surprised that I’ve eaten a pony?”
“Well, yes; why wouldn’t I be?” I stammered out as I started to back out towards the door.
As I backed out I could not help but take in his appearance. I did not know much about wolves, but I would say that he looked like an average male: slender, muscular and smooth.
I wish I could explain how he managed to appear both slender and muscular at that moment, but I had other priorities at the moment. Because my roomie had just turned into a hungry beast, and that scared me.
Silver must have seen my fear, because he put on a wide grin. “Well, my friend, if you stay awhile and listen, I might just be able to explain how I ended up eating one of your kind.”
By now, Silver was scaring me beyond measure. “Well, that sounds like a great idea! Why don’t we go talk about it at the police station? Or at the Royal Guard’s barracks? What about some other place where it’s possible for me to run away in case you get hungry?”
Immediately after saying that, I started to look around in search of an escape route. The room only had two exits: The window behind Silver, and the door behind me. Between us were the two beds that were normal for these dorm rooms; and at the end of both of them, two cupboards could be found.
I quickly deduced that my best escape path would be the door behind me, I just had to turn around fast enough to get out before he got to me.
My plan was to use my natural coat and mane colors of brown and black to blend in with the chestnut brown color of the door, and then cast a simple spell to silence my steps.
Had he been at the other end of the room, paying attention to something else, this might have worked. But it would not work now, with his gaze locked on me.
So I started to look around in search of another, safer, escape route.
Seeing me look for an escape route made Silver laugh; and in hindsight, I would have laughed as well, if I was not so scared. If Silver tried something like this now, I would have seen right through it, but at this time, I was not familiar with his jokes.
As Silver slowly walked towards me, he noticed that I was backing up in the direction of the door. Thinking back, this was probably the only direction I could back up towards, as there were cardboard boxes at the corners next to the door.
When I finally realized what he did, it was already too late. He had me cornered.
With my flank touching the door, Silver’s grin widened even more. “Now that you can’t run away, I believe it’s time you heard the tale of how I ate a unicorn filly.”
“W-what?” I stammered.
“Did you already forget, Brown? The door opens inwards,” Silver said with eyes full of amusement.
“I d-don’t suppose you’d like to tell me that story then, Silver?” I asked him. My theory was that if I got him to talk he might not be as intimidating.
“It all started fifteen years ago, in my home country of Canisberg. I was only four years old at the time, but I remember everything as if it was yesterday. My family and I were on vacation, and we decided that we needed to treat ourselves to a good dinner,” he began.
Hearing the “good dinner” part really frightened me.
“My father had chosen a nice restaurant with a good reputation, not far from our home. The only downside to it was that it was carved out of a mountain, but it seemed safe enough, so we all went to eat without any fears.”
“Seeing as how I was only four years old, the small waiting time of five minutes seemed like hours to me. but when the waiters arrived, they most certainly made up for the waiting time. The plates were packed with enough food to feed an entire village, or at least, that’s what my four year-old eyes thought, anyway.”
Somewhere around this point I stopped paying attention to Silver’s story and started to think of a way out of the situation. “Is this story even true? Has he been lying to me all along? Is he going to wait until I’m no longer paying attention, and then attack? I can’t die now, I’m a stallion in the springtime of his youth! I have food to devour and mares to rut! I can’t die now!”
“And that’s how my sister and I were forced to eat ponies to survive,” Silver said, ending his tale.
That one sentence completely ended my train of thought and brought me back to the real world. In my panic filled mind I somehow did not notice that we had moved away from the door and moved over to sit on the bed as Silver explained his story.
***
I do not remember much of what immediately happened after this, but I do remember how my view of him changed after that. When he had me cornered I actually thought that he was going to eat me, but in reality that was something he would never do, not even as a last resort.
I had not heard his story but I had heard that last line of it. “And that’s how my sister and I were forced to eat ponies to survive.”
That one line told me several things about him. I remember that he started out by referring to “his family”, but now it was just “his sister.” Something must have happened to them for him to only refer to his sister.
Another part of the sentence that stood out was the “... forced to eat ponies to survive.” Something had forced him to eat ponies, so he this was something he normally would not do.
***
Suddenly Silver stood up from the bed, interrupting my train of thought. “Don’t you think we should open a window? It’s incredibly hot in here.”
“What do you mean? It’s perfectly normal,” I said rising from the bed as well.
“Perfectly normal?” Silver began. “This is unnaturally hot! It’s like a furnace in here! How you’re able to endure this heat is a mystery.” As if to emphasize his point, Silver stomped the ground at the word ”mystery.”
I simply looked at Silver with an amused expression on my face. “A furnace? Don’t you think you’re going a little overboard? I know it’s summertime, and that we’re having a heatwave at the moment, but the window is open and a breeze is flowing through it. You don’t have a fever do you?”
Hearing me question his health visibly angered Silver, and he walked up to me, ensuring that we stood directly face to face. “A fever? You’re suggesting that a proud wolf such as myself would catch such a lowly disease? Just who do you think you are, a bare pony challenging a fully pelted wolf, with a coat of fur far greater than anything you ponies could hope for? My fur would never allow for such a lowly disease to take host in me, you little pony.”
Hearing him mention his fur explained why he thought it was so hot in here, but he also insulted my entire race. While I’m not the proudest of ponies, being referred to as a little pony angered me greatly.
Looking back at this, I find it strange that I felt such a strong anger towards a being that managed to scare me to the point that I didn’t notice anything about my surroundings, or even him.
I suppose it could be the way he spoke of losing members of his family, or how his voice was laced with sorrow when he said “forced to eat ponies” at the end of his tale. But that didn’t make much sense.
If he really was not such a monster, then why could he be so cool about taking on such a persona? I would soon learn that that was the way he pranked ponies.
Already standing close to him, moving directly face to face with him did not take long. “Who’re you calling little, pup?”
As he heard his race used as an insult Silver pushed his forehead against mine, looking directly into my eyes. “You, pony!”
Hearing the same insult used against me made my entire body tense up, pushing against him. “Yes, I’m a pony! I’m a proud equine that lives off of wheat and water, do you have a prob-”
“Now kiss!” came a feminine voice from the doorway.
“You’re expecting me to kiss a pony,” Silver began, “a stallion no less? Yeah, keep dreaming, Amethyst.”
As Silver ‘detached’ himself from me, I turned around to see who had arrived. “Why do you always insist on shipping Silver and I, Amethyst?”
This only caused her big smile to stretch all the way out to her ears, as well as harden her wingboner. “Because I love interspecies relationships! Especially when one of the members involved is capable of eating the other!”
Silver nonchalantly turned to Amethyst, his face void of any emotion. “No, you’re shipping us together like this, because you’ve never had anyone in your life show you that type of attention before.”
Upon hearing those words, Amethyst’s face took on an annoyed expression. “What’re you talking about? It’s anypony, not anyone.” As she said anypony, she clopped her front hooves together to emphasize her point.
“Hold on,” I began. “Silver, aren’t you being a little ru-”
“You’re wrong,” Silver interrupted, “it’s anyone. Using the term anypony would suggest that you might’ve gotten the attention from another source, and we both know that hasn’t happened.”
Amethyst didn’t change her facial expression in the slightest, she just tilted her head to the side a little bit. “We’re getting off topic here, you boys still owe me a kiss!”
“There’s no way I’m kissing you Amethyst!” I blurted out.
“Ditto,” Silver agreed.
Amethyst stopped her laughing and started giggling. “No, boys, you got it all wrong! You’re supposed to kiss each other!”
Silver and I briefly exchanged glances before simultaneously responding. “NO!”
Hearing how serious Silver and I were, Amethyst’s giggling grew into a laughter, and she began blushing furiously.
How I noticed the fact that she was blushing was beyond my logic. Her coat is as red as a cherry, and her mane has a bright pink color, matching the way she had styled it.
“Anyways, don’t you have to attend some dinner somewhere in the castle gardens Am?” Silver asked, causing Amethyst to slow down her giggling.
Amethyst, still giggling, tried to answer Silver’s question with a normal tone of voice. “Well, yes I do. That’s why I’m here!”
“Huh?” was all I could respond with.
Amethyst extended a hoof to us, inviting us to come with her. “The two of you are coming along as well!”
Silver turned away from Amethyst, and resumed his unpacking. “Fat chance.”
Amethyst, still giggling, walked over to Silver and grabbed him by the neck. “Come on now, you don’t want to be late for your date now, do you?”
Silver, realizing that he did not have anything to say in the matter, simply let himself be dragged along. “And who might be the lucky bitch that I’m going on a date with? I really don’t care at this point, just take me somewhere cool.”
Amethyst, dragging Silver out into the hall happily answered his question. “Brown, of course! And yes, the spot is pretty refreshing; it’s the Canterlot Pools.”
By this point I couldn’t see the two anymore, but I could clearly hear the energy that returned to Silver as he realized where the date would be taking place. “Brown, you little bitch, get out here! We’re going on a date, and you’re paying!”
***
As I noticed what it was that he had been eating all along, I did not hesitate to voice my opinion on the matter. “I’ve told you several times already, don’t eat meat in front of other ponies!”
Silver just spat out a simple response in between taking in large lumps of meat. “Oh, shut up, it’s not like ponies could look down upon us any more than they already are. We’re sitting in a heart-shaped pool filled with pink water and rose petals flowing everywhere. How could it get any worse than this?”
Realizing that I had just made a bad reputation for myself I angrily turned my head towards Amethyst, who was hovering on a cloud just next to us. “Is this what you wanted? Are you not entertained?!”
“Well,” Amethyst began, “I believe that I deserve some recognition, after all it was me who paid for all of this. And for me to provide such a romantic environme-”
“Hand me the salt, Bitch,” Silver interrupted, “this meat is flavorless.”
Not even letting Amethyst continue her apology, I addressed Silver. “Are you addressing me or her? Either way you shouldn’t speak to us in such a degrading manner! Furthermore, why are you eating in the pool? The crumbs and juices will flow everywhere! And to top it all off, you’re eating meat!”
Amethyst started giggling again, and I could see a wingboner rising out of the corner of my vision.
Silver stopped eating, and turned his head to face me. “I was addressing you, yes I should speak to you like that, and you’re on a date with me, so as long as this date is ongoing you’re my bitch. And as for why I’m eating meat in the pool, this is the only place I can eat a healthy meal without having a crowd of ponies attempting to lynch me. Now hand me the fucking salt, Bitch.”
I learned that moment that you should never under any circumstances get between a wolf and his food. Unless, of course, you have a deathwish.
Anyway, this is the story of how my roommate sent me to the hospital with two broken legs, a dented horn and a dislocated jaw. If I told my family about this they would think that I was joking, but I am not joking at all.
The entire situation can be explained with one sentence:
My roommate’s a wolf.