After a few minutes, Rarity and Bumbleberry were outside of Ponyville, walking down the tree-lined road to Sweet Apple Acres. Birds chirped from the nearby trees and the pony’s hooves softly patted on the dirt. Rarity lead the way with her shining purple hair. The troubled magenta stallion followed behind, unable to take his eyes off her tail, which swayed back and forth as she walked.
“... I’ve always considered the Standards of Courtship the gold standard for all relationships between ponies.” Rarity rambled to Bumbleberry. “I’ve read it many times since I was a young filly. I mean, has anyone ever taught you anything about courtship?”
“Yea…” he responded mindlessly.
Rarity looked back and noticed his eyes move back and forth as she swayed her tail. She gave him an amused smile. While continuing to walk, she made her tail dance, swinging it up and down and every which way. His head bobbed up and down and every which way with her tail. Then she stopped quickly and he bumped into her.
Bumbleberry shook himself from his trance. “I’m so sorry! What were you saying?”
She giggled at him. “We’re here!”
Bumbleberry looked up and saw the big red barn of Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack’s orange fur and cowboy hat sparkled in the sun. She held a watering can in her mouth over some sunflowers near the fence.
“Why hello there!” Applejack called out, dropping the can on the ground. “Here to pick up some more apples, Bumbleberry?”
Bumbleberry trotted forward to embrace her, but Rarity pulled him back by his tail.
A surprised look appeared on Applejack’s face. “Y’all alright?”
“Well,” Rarity pulled Bumbleberry to the ground where he chose to stay seated. “Bumbleberry here hasn’t been himself today, and we’re trying to follow Celestia’s ‘safe stallion’ program to try to get him better.”
Applejack’s face contorted in thought. “‘Safe stallion’ program? I think I remember Granny Smith mention it when I was a young filly, but I don’t know nothin’ about that.”
“According to Twilight,” Bumbleberry explained, “you might know about a procedure called ‘gelding’ which might help?” His face was bright and hopeful.
The farmer pony’s eyes went wide and her pupils became small. “Gelding? Are you sure about that?”
“What, wouldn’t it help?” Bumbleberry pleaded.
“Uh…” Applejack hid her hoof behind her hat. “I suppose it could help some… what kind of problems have you been having?”
Bumbleberry blushed with embarrassment and looked to Rarity.
“He’s been throwing himself at every mare in sight and making inappropriate advances! It’s no way for a respectable stallion to behave.”
“I see.” Applejack nodded with understanding. “I guess gelding would stop you from throwing yourself at mares. We can do it, if you really wanted it.”
“What is gelding, exactly?” Bumbleberry asked. Rarity’s ears perked up to hear the answer as well.
Applejack’s lips tightened. “You don’t know?” They shook their heads. She snickered before explaining as delicately as she could. “Well… you know the bits that make a stallion different from a mare? Gelding is when you remove some of them.”
Bumbleberry’s ears flopped down, his face frowned and he sat on his rump with his hind legs crossed.
Rarity gave a horrified gasp. “How barbaric!”
“But it would certainly help with those ‘urges’, if you know what I mean.” Applejack burst into a fit of giggles. “If you really want, we can perform the gelding right here on the farm. I’ve got everything for it in the animal barn…”
The stallion shook his head quickly.
Rarity frowned at the apple farmer. “We won’t be needing your services today,” she huffed, “and Bumbleberry certainly won’t be getting gelded.”
“Suit yourself.” Applejack smiled. “I do hope you feel better soon, Bumbleberry!”
“Come on, maybe we can find another way to help you.” Rarity said hopefully.
Soon Bumbleberry was again entranced by Rarity’s tail. To him, it seemed like a magical dancing carrot directing him where to go. He hoped that he would be allowed to consume it if he waited just a little longer. She continued to amuse herself by tossing it this way and that. As they neared Ponyville, Rarity spotted Fluttershy setting up for a picnic near a pond with her pet bunny, Angel. She decided to ask her for some advice regarding Bumbleberry’s problem.
She walked up to her with Bumbleberry trailing behind. “Hello Fluttershy!” she greeted her friend warmly. She continued to swish her tail mindlessly, keeping the magenta pony in a trance.
“Oh, hello Rarity!” Fluttershy said. “How are you this afternoon?”
“I’m quite well, thank you.”
“And how are you, Bumbleberry?” she asked, recognizing him.
“Fine…” Bumbleberry said distantly.
Fluttershy gave a confused look to Rarity.
“Don’t mind him,” Rarity explained, “he’s been acting very inappropriately today. He’s completely enthralled with every mare we meet. He throws himself at them and ogles them without shame!” She looked back at his dazed expression. “Swishing my tail is the only thing that distracts him from such unbecoming behavior.”
“Oh goodness! And when he sees a mare, he can’t think of anything else and it feels like he needs to do...” she blushed, “things... to them or he’ll explode?”
Both Rarity and Bumbleberry looked at her in surprise. “Yes, is exactly what it feels like,” Bumbleberry responded.
“Oh dear. It sounds like you’re in heat!”
“What does the temperature have to do with his behavior?”
“No, that’s not what I meant,” Fluttershy explained, “lots of animals go into heat during their mating season. They usually become excitable and can’t think of anything but finding a mate.” Fluttershy put her hoof on her chin in thought. “But I’ve never heard of a pony going into heat.”
“Maybe the ‘Safe Stallion Program’ is supposed to keep stallions from going into heat?” Rarity wondered aloud.
“Do you know how to cure it?” Bumbleberry asked, stepping forward.
“Usually, it goes away on its own.”
“But how long?”
“A few weeks.” Fluttershy tilted her head down, knowing this wasn’t the answer he wanted to hear.
He slumped onto his rump. “A few weeks? What am I supposed to tell Cherry? I’m supposed to be at the farm!” Bumbleberry was panicked. A few weeks felt like forever, and he’d certainly lose his apprenticeship. And how often would it come back? Was that his destiny? To be forever alone? Maybe he could find a place where mares weren’t so abundant.
“Is there anything else we can do?” Rarity asked. “His behavior has been very unbecoming of a stallion, and I’m afraid that, if left unchecked, he might do some very naughty things.”
“That would be a problem,” Fluttershy affirmed. “Sometimes, creatures in heat calm down if they’re kept away from potential mates. Maybe...”
“Keep him away from potential mates?” Rarity echoed as a plan began to form in her mind. “I think we can do that.”
A slice of orange bounced off the back of Fluttershy’s head and fell to the ground. She turned and saw Angel pouting and tapping the ground with his foot.
“I’m sorry, but I promised Angel I would go on a picnic with him this afternoon.”
“Oh, it’s quite alright. You’ve been very helpful. Thank you for talking with us.”
“Yes, thank you.”
Rarity walked mindlessly through Ponyville, deep in thought. The idea of keeping Bumbleberry away from mares intrigued her and she thought hard about the logistics of of it. How could he be isolated from mares? At the farm, Cherry Berry would be ever present, and she doubted the farm pony would understand. Where could he be kept?
Bumbleberry followed beside Rarity with a bowed head. Depression was written all over the way he walked. His shoulders drooped, his hooves lazily tred on the ground, and his usually bouncy tail was lowered and dragging behind him.
Rarity pitied him. It is such an awful feeling to be pulled in opposite directions like he was. She remembered the time she wondered if her gorgeous mane would be forever soiled when her cutie mark dragged her out to the middle of the badlands and told her she was destined for gems if she would dig in the dirt for them. It was only from the deep satisfaction they gave her that she could get through the messy process of mining, and it was always worth it.
She heard a sigh from Bumbleberry that expressed both his yearning for touch and his longing to be rid of it. She could see his internal conflict was tearing him apart and he would be willing to do anything to settle his mind.
An idea leaped into her mind so quickly and suddenly that Rarity stopped walking. “Why didn’t I think of it before!” she exclaimed.
Bumbleberry looked up at her, his confusion pushing away his thoughts. “What?”
Rarity sprang into a gallop and he followed behind. “The book, the Standards of Courtship. You need to read it.”
“But it’s so difficult to sit still!”
Rarity threw her tail across his face, brushing his cheeks with her soft hair. He blushed. “I’m sure even you would be willing to sit and study a book if you knew it would help you.”
Bumbleberry’s mind was spinning. “I… I guess I can try.”
Rarity slowed to a walk and led him into Carousel Boutique. Once inside, she closed the door and turned to Bumbleberry. “How are you feeling?” She requested.
“I still feel crazy.” He looked into her eyes and it appeared as though hearts were floating all around her. “Is this really what it’s like to be in heat?”
“It might be,” Rarity considered. “Or it might be a latent disposition that wasn’t weeded out by the ‘safe stallion’ program.” She looked at him again. “Are you in any pain or discomfort?”
Rarity looked like she was glowing, absolutely stunning. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he saw something so beautiful and captivating. He shook his head back to sense. “No, it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t even feel bad. I’m just afraid of what I might do.” He began to stare at her and his eyes glazed over. He suddenly felt the urge to hug her again. “I really want to touch you all over.” He blushed. “Did I just say that aloud?”
“Of course.” Rarity grimaced at him. “Let me get the Standards of Courtship.” She dashed into her room and returned with a worn brown book with yellow accents on the corners and spine. “Here you go!” she levitated it in front of him. “I will lend you this book if you promise to study it. Do you think you can do that?”
“I can try.” The stallion said hesitantly. “But where can I study? I can’t go back to the farm.” He wondered what Cherry Berry would do if he slipped up again. “And I don’t know anywhere else.”
“Well, if you promise not to bother me, you can use that table over there.” She pointed to a low work table in the corner. “I have to finish up some outfits for some clients later this afternoon so you’ll be able to study alone.”
“Oh, thank you!” he cheered. He stepped towards her and spread his hooves for a hug.
Rarity stepped into his hug, but pushed him to the table and sat him down, moving the book in front of him. “Be a good safe stallion and give it a read. I’ll check on you in a few hours.” She trotted up the stairs to her bedroom and inspiration room.
Bumbleberry took a deep breath and let it out. For what seemed like the first time today, he felt like he could relax. He knew he was still wound up inside, but right now, he felt he could finally concentrate. Was it that all the mares were gone, or was it the hug from Rarity? He shook his head and opened the book, focusing on reading.
Standards of Courtship was written in a very old-fashioned way. The introduction by its author, Love Hearts, assumed the reader already knew the book and highlighted its differences over its previous versions. Bumbleberry flipped past it to the first chapter. Love Hearts defined courtship as the “seemingly superfluous ceremonial ritual for a proper mare to rate and select an eligible stallion.” Ms. Hearts must be from Canterlot. Bumbleberry thought to himself. She also coined the euphemism “very special somepony” to describe the subject of a romantic partnership.
Hearts described the ideal physical aspects of a very special somepony. She included relative age, height, length, shape of the mane and tail, color and quality of fur, and even the color of the eyes. “It’s important for the colors of a partnership to be complementary so as to be pleasing to the eyes of others in the herd.” She also wrote for several pages about how a cutie mark reveals personality and how it’s important to find one complimentary to one’s own cutie mark.
He had just started the chapter on manners when a bell announced the entrance of somepony into the shop. Looking up, Bumbleberry saw a blue mare with a blue and white mane and a yellow hourglass cutie mark walk in. Immediately the sense of urgency from before returned. He felt his heart beat fast and started scuffing his front hoof on the floor.
“Hello, do you know where Rarity is?” she asked him.
Rather than answer her, he started evaluating her physical aspects. Same age, good height, good length, so far so good. Bumbleberry thought. Blue fur, white and royal blue mane, pale blue eyes; yes, she matches my colors well. He started analyzing her cutie mark. The yellow hourglass is half filled, what on earth does that mean?
“May I ask what your cutie mark means?” he asked as Rarity came down the stairs and stepped into the room.
The blue pony frowned at him. “Isn’t it rude to ask about a cutie mark before asking one’s name?”
This faux pas made Rarity jump. “Don’t mind him!” she yelped. She ran behind him and pushed him up the stairs into the bedroom. “Bumbleberry, why don’t you wait in here while I take care of Minuette.” She closed the door behind him and ran to attend to her customer.
Through the door, Bumbleberry could only hear the muffled conversation between them, something about the choice of fabrics and trying on the dress for size. Trying his best to ignore them, he looked around the room. It was clear that Rarity took the “organized chaos” approach to her inspiration. Strewn about the floor were swatches of fabric, cut parts of clothes, spools of ribbon, pins, pin cushions, scissors, needles, thread, and all manner of clothing making tools. To one side were bolts of fabric in several shelves. Along the wall, below several bay windows, stood several white mannequin ponies with their hooves outstretched. Most were bare but a few were wearing pieces of clothing. I’d better not touch anything, he thought.
He continued scanning the room. In the other corner of the room was a lavish four-post canopy bed. Three large red curtains were hung and drawn on each side of the bed, trimmed with golden tassels. Matching red satin bedsheets were used over the mattress and pillows. The pillows themselves were thrown about and the comforter was pushed to one side. Rarity’s white robe with purple faux fur trim and purple eyemask were tossed on the bed.
She’s been so good to me today, he thought. I’ll make her bed to repay her generosity. He grabbed the robe with his mouth. He tried to ignored how soft it was as he tossed over his shoulders. He picked up the eyemask with his teeth and paused. He suddenly felt enraptured with the scent of the white mare’s natural feminine aroma. His eyes glazed over as he hugged himself in the robe. He rubbed the satin and fuzziness over himself and drew in as much of her lovely smell as possible before breathing out.
He shook himself back to his senses and neighed. What am I doing? I’m just making this bed. He gripped the sheets in his mouth and pulled them tight over the bed. He threw the pillows into place at the head of the bed and put the mask near the pillows. He mouthed the robe to put it back but stopped. It was her scent again. There’s no harm in holding on to this, he rationalized, rubbing the fabric between over his neck. Besides, it’s cold up here.
But that’s no way to handle a lady’s nightwear, the sane part of himself thought. Just put it on the bed and walk away.
I am a bit cold though. He found himself slipping the silky sleeves of the robe over his hooves. I’m sure she won’t mind.
No! He bit at the robe as if to take it off. Instead, he threw himself onto the bed and was quickly immersed in her satin sheets and feminine aroma. Rarity’s scent and the sensation of the fabrics permeated his being and he lost himself. He crawled under the covers and rolled around, kicking the pillows everywhere.
“What are you doing!?” A mare cried out.
Bumbleberry sat up and froze, causing the sheet to fly up and reveal him. Rarity had come up the stairs and was standing in the doorway. They stared at each other as the sheet slowly settled on the bed.
His sanity came rushing back as he searched for words. “I was cold?” His excuse sounded hollow.
“Is that my nightgown?” Rarity yelled incredulously.
Bumbleberry looked at the robe he was wearing. “Yes?” Guilt and shame washed over him like ocean waves on a ship in a hurricane. His compulsions and anxiety disappeared in the wake of these overwhelming emotions. His head hung low, his ears were turned out, and he sat on the bed pitifully.
Rarity drew in a deep breath as if to yell but instead let it out slowly to relax. “What happened?”
“I… I…” he stammered, trying to put words to his feelings. “...I don’t know.”
She shook her head. “I think you know what happened,” she scolded. She took another deep breath. “I know you’re embarrassed and afraid of what I think, but if I’m going to help, you need to trust me and tell me what’s going on.”
“Do you promise not to judge me?” he squeaked.
Rarity nodded. “I promise.”
“The bed smelled like you,” he admitted. “And the robe too.”
Pink spots appeared on the mare’s normally white cheeks. “You put on my robe and romped around in my bed because it smelled like me?”
Bumbleberry nodded. “That and it felt good,” he explained. “Your choice of fabric for your bed is exquisite.”
“Why thank you!” She revelled in the compliment. “I too find it quite comfortable.” She then gave him a commanding stare. “Please get off the bed so I can make it.”
He quickly jumped out of the bed, causing the robe to flair out as he moved. She used her magic to lift the pillows and blankets into place, making the bed look perfect. She hung the eye mask on an unseen hook on one of the posts.
“And my robe, please?” she asked.
“Sorry” He quickly shook off the robe and she levitated it into place with the mask.
She shook her head at him. “What are we going to do with you?” she sighed.
“I don’t know!” Bumbleberry shivered with vulnerability and his voice quivered. “But I don’t want to be gelded!” He sniffled a few times before he threw his head back. Tears flew from his eyes as he began sobbing.
“There there, darling!” Rarity instinctively trotted towards him and hugged him. “No one is going to be gelded.” She held his head against her shoulder. “Certainly not a smart, respectful, capable stallion like you.”
Bumbleberry pulled his head back and looked at her. “Really?”
“Of course! You’re just going through a rough patch right now. I’m sure you’ll be better in no time.”
Her words of encouragement made him feel better. He stopped crying and sniffed back his tears. “You’re right,” he said, building up his confidence. “I just need to get through this and I’ll be fine.”
“That's the spirit!” she cheered, stepping back. “Now what about the Standards of Courtship? Did you learn anything?”
“I learned that other pony’s colors and cutie mark are important when choosing a very special somepony.”
Rarity thought back to Minuette. “Is that why you asked about her cutie mark?”
Bumbleberry bit his lip and nodded.
“And that was the first thing you did?”
He braced himself and nodded again.
She thought hard and then shrugged. “I suppose it is an improvement.”
“It is?” He was relieved but confused .
She nodded her head. “Earlier today you were throwing yourself at every mare you met, but now you’re just asking impolite questions. It’s small, but an improvement nonetheless.”
Bumbleberry blinked wide-eyed. He had improved! Instead of using his body, he used his words. He smiled at the realization. “I’m getting better!” He jumped up and down in excitement. The feelings of guilt began to ebb and soon he felt the anxiety from before. He stopped jumping. “I’d better read more before I lose control again!” he exclaimed.
“Good idea,” Rarity responded as he ran down the stairs. She smiled after him.