Beloved paper pile!
It’s all settled now, I’m in a relationship. With Octy. Still sounds weird somehow, doesn’t it? But it’s totally awesome! This morning, I wanted to talk to her about what happened between us and tell her about my feelings, but actually that wouldn’t had been necessary. Before I woke up, she came into my room with some awesome bed-breakfast, but not just for me. She just lay down next to me before I was even able to say a word. It wasn’t special, just some toasts and waffles, but the fact that Octy made them was enough to make them seem like they came right from Princess Celestia herself. So we enjoyed our meal without talking about what I actually wanted to, but about trivial things.
Just when we ended our breakfast, I couldn’t hold myself anymore, I just had to mention that subject. What was there between us? Was it a serious thing? How should we deal with it since we’re both not out of the shed? Should we deny it when somepony asks us, or should we be more open? Will her family tolerate this?
All these questions swirled around in my head, and I’m glad we could talk this all through. But let me answer these things one by one.
What’s between us? Well, she called it love immediately, but since Ruben and Nick I’m… a bit more careful with this word. I mean, I totally trust Octy and all, but I also trusted Ruben and Nick, and we all know where this had got me. Of course, I feel it, too, but I’m just not ready to say ‘I love you’. Not yet. The day may come, but it’s not today. I just need more time, though actually I know it’s true, deep inside my heart I can feel it. Jeez, that sounds sooo not like me.
Is it serious? I guess. Of course, just because we spent a night together doesn’t mean we’ll be together forever and ever, but I could see this sparkling in her eyes, and she really wants this. A relationship, I mean. And I want it, too. How could I dare and reject a mare like Octy? Nopony knows me as good as she does, and nopony loves me the way she does. My parents? Mh, first of all, parent-love is a complete other thing than marefriend-love. Second, they don’t love me, I haven’t heard anything from them for years, and to be honest, I don’t want to. I don’t care of they find out about me and Octy, I mean what could they do? They already disinherited me, I pay all of my bills by my own, I’m completely independent from them. They have no power here.
Our coming out? That’s a big thing, I’m sure. Especially for her, coming from Canterlot and all. I’m sure her parents won’t be happy with a daughter who is a fillyfooler, so for now we’ll not show it too much. I told her she can’t hide it from them forever, and she’s totally aware of this. She just needs time, that’s all. Me? I have no problem in telling anypony what I am, I mean it’s not like it’s an illness or something. It’s just another way of living, or rather, of loving. We live our lives just like anypony else, we just don’t like stallions, that’s all. Though I admit I wouldn’t say I’m just into mares. One does not simply switch from hetero to lesbian just because of one night. But it’s okay for Octy, she’s aware of this, and she won’t urge me to do things I’m not ready to. To be honest, I’m ready to do anything she wants to do, as long as I do it with her.
That’s pretty much everything I wanted to clarify, and we did it. There are no more ambiguities, so we’re finally able to call ourselves a couple. And to celebrate this, Octy had this idea with molten chocolate… sounds awesome, but have you ever tried getting chocolate from your coat? It’s impossible! I still look like a cow, with chocolate stains everywhere. But it was totally worth it… Maybe someday I’ll give you a more detailed report, but by now it just doesn’t feel right to talk about these things.
That’s it for today, I guess. Gotta get back into the shower and finally get rid of this darn chocolate.
Cya tomorrow!