I'd just told that griffon to screw off for the last time. He was busy getting ponies out of the town, but honestly, it was more fun to watch them get trampled by tumbleweeds and singed by mugs. One pony with a hat and a vest was being chased by a self-directing, flaming, flying pie. It was almost too funny to watch him scream as the scorching pastry smacked him in the back of the head. There was the occasional pony who tried to fight off the abnormalities, but I'd have a bit of fun and trip them, or pull their hats over there eyes.
Just as Discord promised, none of the oddities bothered me. I walked right through the center of town, overseeing the raging chaos, sometimes helping it along. I was thoroughly enjoying myself, watching the misfortune of others- until they arrived.
"Heeey! Ian!" I heard someone call out. A familiar someone.
I swore softly under my breath, and ducked into a nearby building.Out the window I saw Rainbow dash and Rarity move by the building. How the hell did they find me? Were they all looking?
I slid down against the wall. I wouldn't be able to face them. Not after what I did. I had to hide, somewhere they wouldn't think to look. Nowhere jumped out at me particularly. I'd just have to run whenever they came near.
Hoofsteps, right outside the door. Quickly and quietly as I could, I jumped out the window, not looking back. I ran off to the saloon, where the fire-breathing mugs were burning all the tables and chairs. Wary of their unpredictability, I sneaked around the beverage holders, behind the bar. Well, the salt counter.
The doors burst open. I ducked underneath the counter, unable to run anywhere else. Damn. Now what?
"Ian, you in- Whoa!" I heard the voice of AppleJack say, along with a hiss of flames.
Even if I didn't want to see them, I didn't want them immolated. I jumped up on the counter, and shot bolts of energy at the mugs, blasting them to scrap metal and wood. Before anyone could look around I pushed past her and FlutterShy.
"Ian-?" She said before I shoved her aside.
I ran around the back of the building. Quick, dammit. Think. What now?
Looking around offered no options. I could keep running, but I had a suspicion that one of them, a pegasus or a strong earth pony, could easily catch up. But I had no other options. I ran around the other side, weaving between the buildings and crashing right into Rarity.
"Oh! Oh, dear, so sorry, I- Ian?" She said, getting back to her hooves.
"N-nope!" I stammered, reeling back and running again.
I barely made it ten feet before Rainbow Dash, who had apparently been with her, easily pinned me to the ground.
"Where do you think you're going?" She demanded. "We've been looking all over for-"
"Get off me you egomaniac!" I shouted at her. I lashed out with magic, shoving her off and into a water trough. I bolted again, but AppleJack cut off my path. I wheeled around, and was stopped by Pinkie. I backed against a building. Cornered. Or so they thought.
I'd picked up a thing or two in my time with Sombra. Shielding, attacking- and short distance teleporting. I wasn't very good, and it drained me like nothing else, but it still was an option. Tightening my focus, I flashed just past the group, wobbling slightly and running again.
Suckers, I thought. Hope they were blinded by the flash.
I'd thought I'd gotten away. I paused to catch my breath outside the saloon again, slumping against the wall. The teleport made me nauseous, and I felt like throwing up. I waited until my eyes weren't seeing lights that weren't there before getting up and turning around- faced by Twilight Sparkle.
Ahh, crap. I thought.
"H-hey!" I said. "W-what brings you here?"
She gave me a hard look. "Ian. You have to come back to Ponyville with us."
"No thanks," I said, backing away. "I-I'm good here."
"Ian, please." She said, advancing. "You're not well. You need to come back."
I backed off the awning of the saloon, and scrambled back to my hooves. "No."
"Ian, Discord is messing with your mind," she said. "You really aren't yourself. We just want to help you. Please, come back. For Serene?"
My eyes narrowed at the mention of her chosen pony name. "No. Not for 'Serene', not for you. I'm enjoying myself here in Discordia more than anywhere else."
She took another step towards me, looking with concern.
"I will NOT be arrested!" I shouted, then bolted for the center of town. Discord. Discord will help me.
I stood face-to-face with Discord, Risk on my left, Lyra on my right. "What do you mean 'haven't seen him.'!? You were supposed to give him his horn. You didn't hold up your end of the deal!"
"I did give him his horn. I just haven't seen him since." He said innocently, sipping liquid glass.
"Since when?" Lyra asked, glaring at him.
"Since I invited him here, of course. It would be rude of me not to let a friend in need stay in my domain."
"Your domain?" I repeated. "Couldn't call it an Empire or Kingdom- No army, no castle, just you on a throne overseeing the corruption of the world."
"Well if I called it one of those, it would need order, wouldn't it? Now, go away. I have chaos to enjoy." He waved us off, a huge gust of wing billowing. Risk pulled me down before I was blown away.
"Well, whatever you call it, Ian better still be alive here." I said angrily, glaring at him as if doing so would cause him pain. "Or I will tear your fu-"
That's when all hell broke loose.