Chapter 8
Discord
How splendid! Discord thought as he watched Celestia pace the throne room from the stain glass window, the word of Gaia’s return from her infernal sun had certainly made things interesting around the dusty old castle. Discord remembered how much fun Gaia made the war in the past, “ahh the past” Discord sweetly mumbled to himself. “How wonderful those times were when chaos ran rampant across the land and its leaders. Much more fun than this boring harmony filled civilization that Celestia had made. If it wasn’t for Fluttershy I would have turned this dank little castle into a stack of waffles long ago.” Discord stayed there remembering fondly the time when his chaos was all around for all the ponies to experience and enjoy. Suddenly his tail twitch and somehow a ponies hat became a fish bowl, which was upside down. How this happened Discord would tell you he had no idea, but in his grin of satisfaction of the drenched pony which just happened to be of the upper class told it all.
He moved to another part of the castle where Luna fast asleep was having a terrific nightmare, “fantastic” Discord said as he wrung his hands. He soon worked a little of his chaos and created a giant bubbly cloud which showed the dream she was having. He materialized a lawn chair and some popcorn and ooo! Don’t forget the soda! And watched the dream unfold.
Luna who was in a very small childlike form was running through the woods sweat beading down her brow. He was right behind her, the monster, just inches from her hoofs. She had to move faster! A slight clearing was coming up before her its bright light showing deliverance from the woods dark shadow. She was almost there, running faster she came closer to it but something was wrong. The trees had begun to close in around her their branches grabbing at her slowing her down. The strength of them were tremendous and their roots strong and hard to break. Still she reached for the light and just as her hoof was about to reach it the woods closed on her leaving nothing but darkness. Then she saw it two glowing brown eyes one of which had a tremendous red scar of moving plasma upon it.
“Augghhh!” Luna screamed sitting up in a cold sweat. She looked around, it was her own room, her own dresser, her own bed, her own lawn chair with popcorn spilt upon it…wait… She looked around and saw a tail hanging from the chandelier above the chair. She grabbed onto it with her magic and pulled the creature down. “Discord?!”
“Hi Luna” Discord replied giving a sheepish grin “lovely day to dust the chandelier isn’t it?”
“What art thou doing in our courters?” she then noticed the giant cloud which read upon it “The End, this dream was a Luna production. Copyright laws apply.” Luna’s rage to say the least boiled beyond its limit “DISCORD! WE WILL DESTROY THEE!!!”
“Discord rolled down his sleeve, well actually his fur, to reveal a giant watch “That time already? I’m late! I’m late! I’m late!” He then disappeared into a cloud of confetti which then exploded ink dye all over the room.
Luna who was now covered in multiple layers of ink that now matched her ruined room ground her teeth in rage “We shall get thee for this” she growled.
“Ho hum, what to do what to dooo.” Discord hummed to himself as he appeared on top of a giant mountain “What a drag this world is!” He looked at the sun “I could turn it into a skittle” he thought “but then Celestia will turn me back into stone.” He put his paw onto his forehead and gave a drama queens performance to nopony in particular. “Oh, woe is me! Chaos in an unchaotic world. Who would have thought such a thing? If I be true to my nature then stone I shall become. Shall I go on pretending that which I am not? Just to avoid the judgment of others? my life shall never be true again!” He looked upon the fields and after another twitch of his tail the flowers all started to clap at his performance and threw themselves at his feet. “You like me! You really like me!” he exclaimed with joy.
“You are such a drama queen!” One of the flowers shouted at him followed by a “boo.”
Discord waltz up to the flowed, not walk he waltzed, then plucked it from the ground “now you hush” he said sternly and tossed it into the air in which it became a balloon and floated away. “Any more critics?” he asked in which all the flowers shook their heads no “Wonderful!”
He soon got bored with the flowers and disappeared to another mountain. If one thing is to be known about Discord it is that he gets distracted easily. As he appeared on the next mountain landing into a puddle of chaos made chocolate he sensed something odd. He again waltzed over to a dirt crater and sniffed its surface “An alicorn has been here” he said to himself “but not the sisters nor Twilight or Cadance Hmmm.” Suddenly a duster jacket and a hat appeared on him. He took a pipe from its pocket and smoked a very odd spiral ring out of it. “I do say old chap, it seems that we have a mystery here.”
“Hmm, quite right” Discords tail which had the same getup replied.
“Onward and upward then my good fellow!”
“Yes, onward then.”
Discord began to scour the country side finding many more such craters in which it seemed that an alicorn had been busy performing magic. Discords mind came to one conclusion, Gaia. He followed the trail which had no pattern to it, it was completely random but what is random to ponies makes absolute sense to him. In its chaotic pattern since there was no pattern a pattern of chaos showed before him as he traveled it like a giant map. Once he finished the map pointed to one direction straight down and to the left. He followed it and found himself within the Everfree Forest.
“Lovely” he grinned as he came upon a very huge and menacing castle. “This place needs a makeover” he then summoned a giant tube of lipstick and sent it towards the castle but as it came closer it was stopped by a barrier, a powerful barrier. “Oh, cleaver spells!” he chimed and went up and embraced the barrier in a hug. “Yes, three parts fire and one part wood, its Gaia alright.”
He made a rip in the air like one that is made on a paper set and stepped halfway into it. He was going to tell Celestia where Gaia was like she told him too but then another idea came into his head. “Surely Celestia would not mind if I bring him in myself? After all I never had the honor to test him during the wars.” Discord stepped back out then put on a football helmet and rammed the barrier shattering it with chaos.
The girls were busy packing for the games as Gaia visited Queen Chrysalis to go over the details of his plan. “I can’t wait until the race!” Lightningdust exclaimed excitedly.
“The music competition will be cool to be in as well” Lyra replied packing her Lyre.
“”I’m looking forward to the jousting contest myself” Wildfire replied. “I am going to kick some serious flank!”
“It’s going to be Epic!” Lightningdust confirmed. “What about you Trixie?”
Trixie looked back at them “I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening what did you say?”
“Something on your mind?” Lyra asked.
“She’s just nervous about the competition, that’s all.”
“If it does turn out that Twilight goes into the competition then I will have to fight her, and in front of all those ponies. What if I lose?”
“Don’t worry about it” Lightningdust replied giving her friend a pat on the back. “You already defeated her and besides we don’t care if you win or lose you will still be our friend.”
“Thanks” Trixie replied looking at them “I just hope that…” suddenly a crashing sound happened all around them. Trixie looked at the wall and knew that the shield protecting the castle was shattered. “Quickly, let’s get out of here!” but before she could do anything Discord popped into the room wearing a toga.
“I think that would be very unwise my dear” he stated like a scholar. “Unless you want to leave your friends that is.”
Trixie tried but Discords magic kept her teleporting magic from reaching her friends. “You’re Discord aren’t you?” She asked.
“Why yes! I see that my reputation precedes me.” I must say though that you are nothing like I imagined you to be Gaia.”
“Gaia?”
“Oh, don’t you do that. The I have amnesia trick and don’t know who I am doesn’t work on me.”
Trixie looked at the other girls who shrugged their shoulders “Ok, I guess that I am Gaia then” Trixie replied not knowing what else to say. “What do you want with me?”
“What else? I want to have some fun!” Discord replied and flung a cream pie at her. Trixie glanced it away with her magic “What if I don’t want to play?”
“Then I will just bring you to Celestia and go ice-skating afterwards.”
“I want to go ice-skating!” Lyra replied.
Discord snapped his fingers and an ice-skating rink appeared below them “Your wish is my command” he replied. “A battle on ice, how deliciously chaotic this will be!”
“More like idiotic” Wildfire replied which earned a giant zipper closing her mouth.
“Quiet please while chaotic art is being made.” He then looked at Trixie and snapped his fingers causing a giant tidal wave of chocolate milk to flow towards her. Trixie not being fast enough was caught in it and was washed towards the far wall.
“Phew, yuck” Trixie spat out the milk.
“That was disappointing” Discord replied. “You’re the great Gaia who scares Princess Celestia and Luna and you can’t even dodge something like that?”
“I’m not Gaia!” Trixie shouted.
“Oh, ho I’m not falling for that one missy” he then summoned a giant net which fell upon Trixie. Trixie seeing this faded away into her mist state and slipped through the net. She stared at it not believing that she dodged it. However taking her eyes off Discord to do so was a huge mistake for when she turned around there he stood not even a foot away from her with a giant vacuum cleaner “who you goanna call? Gaia buster!” he said and turned it on. The vacuum soon sucked in Trixie into a clear glass tube where she became solid again.
“Let me out!” She screamed as she banged on the glass with her hooves.
“Tut, such a disappointment. If only Celestia fell for such tricks back in the war. You know I should have taken you on instead of her back in those days Gaia.”
“Let her go!” Lightningdust yelled as she came at him.
“Unlikely” Discord who was now in jungle clothing, binoculars and all, took a giant net and scooped her up along with the other girls who were struggling to get to him on the ice. “Ah, the rare speckled frogs at long last I caught them.” He then turned to Trixie “and the disappointing leopard toad.” He then turned around “Oh, it’s a beautiful day to go hunting in the marshmallow swamps of the grassy sky!” he began singing as he walked towards the castles door. Just before he reached the doors though a giant vine grabbed the girls and yanked them from his hands bringing them quickly to the far end of the castle wall. “I guess that it wouldn’t be that simple would it, still had a trick up your sleeve, did you?” Discord replied turning around to find himself facing not only the girls but also a strange cloaked stallion. “Who are you?”
“Focus your powers into me” Gaia whispered to the girls when they got Trixie out of the vacuum cleaners tank.
“Secrets don’t make friends” Discord replied crossing his arms. “You didn’t answer my question either, I think that you are very rude and…” Suddenly Discord saw the scar on the Stallions face and recognized it from Luna’s dream. “You’re Gaia!” he proclaimed clapping his hands. “Ha, I have been following the wrong alicorn all along!”
Discord thought about taking on both alicorns but decided to maybe retreat and do some surveillance, if for nothing else then to extend his fun. But as he began to work his magic he realized that it would not cooperate. What was worst he also found himself in a cage of iron strong brambles. “What? What did you do?” he demanded.
“Surely Celestia told you about the Elements of Wisdom and Knowledge?” Gaia asked.
“She may have.”
“Well they work different than the elements of harmony, which being opposite of chaos petrifies you. Our elements are not stopping you with its own force but with your own.”
“I don’t get it” Discord replied very much intrigued by the contraption and somewhat relieved that he was not being turned to stone again.
“This cage plays off your own nature, being that of chaos you must do what is least logical. So it would be easy for you to break that cage with your chaos but since that is the logical thing to do your nature will not let you do it. Also since that is what your nature dictates you to do being that of chaos you must go against your very nature and do the logical thing and escape with your chaos. You therefore to stay chaotic must not break the cage and so on.
“It’s a loop? I can’t do either because my nature is chaos.”
“Ah! But now that you can’t do anything you must do something.”
“Gaia, please. My head hurts” Trixie pleaded with him.
“Fine, in simple terms his power is fighting with itself nullifying all his abilities” Gaia replied.
“Thank you” all the girls replied at once.
“I can see why Celestia is so afraid of you now Gaia” Discord replied. “You are truly a worthy opponent.”
“I thank you for your comment, but it takes more than one to use the elements to their full extent” Gaia replied.
“So what will you do now Gaia?” Discord asked.
“You will read about it in the newspaper and don’t worry I won’t leave you here to rot; besides I always wanted a pet. How’s your parrot impression?”
“Actually, not bad” Discord replied. “I don’t plan on being in here to long though.”
“If you escape, you escape, as long as you don’t get in my way I have no quarrel with you.” Gaia then turned to the girls “let’s go” he then teleported them away to Chrysalis’s hive. Leaving discord alone in solitude.
Discord looked around the castle and seeing that he was alone sighed, his tail then rose itself to head height “Squawk, Polly wants a cracker.” He turned to his tail “Quiet this is your fault anyway.” The tail twitched “Squawk this is your fault anyway, this is your fault anyway, squawk.” Discord frowned “no, it’s your fault!” “Squawk your fault, squawk.” Discord shook his head knowing exactly where this conversation was leading.