The Courier helped me extricate myself from the pile of bones the beastie had become and we were just about to go looking for Fphant when we received an unexpected visitor. "Congratulations on your first of hopefully many great victories!" Ner said as he walked casually towards us from behind the wrecked train. "It took me quite a bit of effort to summon this fine skeletal fellow to fight you. I almost thought I'd overdone it a little, but then this fine wastelander showed up to save the day." The necromancer beamed at the Courier.
"Who the hell is this guy?" the Courier deadpanned. Ner looked vaguely miffed at the lack of recognition, but really; can you expect the interdimensional alien to recognize every vague historical figure?
"He's the guy we're trying to stop," I said, vaguely aware that Ner was doing something to the beastie's bones. It looked like he was shrinking them or something. "He likes to pop in every now and again to check on my progress."
The man's brow furrowed. "Why would an, and I quote, 'evil necromancer', want to check up on the progress of the person who's trying to kill him? And for that matter, why wouldn't you use this opportunity to try to kill him?" In demonstration of his point, the Courier jerked his really big gun -the one he'd used to blow bony chunks from the beastie- off his back and fired it once at Ner.
The man lowered his gun with a satisfied grin, only to drop his jaw when he realized that Ner wasn't dead. "In answer to your second question," Ner said calmly, as if the Courier hadn't just tried to shoot him in the back, revealing a smoking cylinder of metal cradled in a hoof, "that's why." Ner tossed the smoking metal bullet back to the Courier, who caught it in a gloved hand numbly.
"And in answer to your first question," Ner continued, "I enjoy a good challenge. What fun is there in fending off self-righteous 'heroes' if they all die before they even reach my doorstep? I need to check on their progress to make sure I don't accidentally send something they can't handle their way."
The Courier managed to gather his wits enough to pocket the bullet and rejoin the conversation. "You sound like some sorta dungeon master in an old role-playing game."
"That is quite the astute observation, wastelander," Ner complimented. "I was unaware those still existed in your universe." The necromancer had finished his work. I could now see the beastie's axe, shrunk down to normal pony size, resting between his hooves.
"Not really, I just found an old ruleboo-" the Courier cut himself off mid-sentence. "What do you mean 'my universe'?" The man shot Ner a suspicious glare. "And you've been calling me 'wastelander' too. What do you know about my home?" The Courier had his gun that sprayed a cone of bullets in his hands. Maybe with more bullets Ner would have a harder time stopping them all and some would get through.
Ner rolled his eyes and gave the Courier a look that said "really?". "No need to get testy," he said, "I've dabbled a bit in world-hopping. Things and people have a unique magical 'tag' that corresponds to their universe, or world, of origin. I recognized your universal tag from my trip into the wasteland." Ner closed his eyes and took a deep breath. If I didn't know better, I'd say he looked slightly disturbed. "I must say I do not envy you for your home.
"I mostly search for great necromantic creations across the multiverse to copy or add to my collection." Ner motioned to the lifeless pile of bones. "This one came from a world rife with magic and beleaguered by nearly-constant warfare. He was the first of many who helped to guard the throne of one who all but embodied the theme of good intentions gone bad until an intrepid band of heroes slew him and put down his fallen king." Ner caressed the beast's axe almost lovingly. "I was able to store the essence of nearly every soul put down during the heroes' culling."
"And now you're gonna throw 'em at me one at a time until one of them gets lucky and kills me?" I inquired. I'm not sure if I could survive more encounters like that one.
"Oh heavens no!" Ner looked scandalized. "I only sent him to make sure you didn't have too easy of a time getting to my castle. I'd never send you through a gauntlet of one arduous battle after another with no chance to rest in between." He peered at me with squinted eyes. "What do you take me for, some sort of heartless monster?"
"Nah," the Courier interjected. "I take you for a crazy sonuvabitch who enjoys toying with his enemies like an old comic-book villain."
Ner glanced contemptuously at the man. "You served your purpose-"
"My point exactly," the Courier growled. "You see us as puppets or play-things for your game." It looked like the man was itching to pull the trigger. I think he was just waiting for the right time or something.
"-in making sure he didn't die," Ner continued as if he hadn't been interrupted. "I can return you to your homeworld at your leisure. Just say the word and you can be gone in a heartbeat."
The Courier's glare didn't let up. "If it's all the same to you, I'd like to see this to the end. This isn't the first time I've disappeared from Vegas for a few days to help clean up some problem or another." I wasn't entirely clear on the Courier's reasons for wanting to stay, but I was glad to have him on my side for as long as he wanted to stay.
"You do realize that if you 'see this to the end' it will either end in your death, which you obviously don't want or else you never would have survived in the wasteland, or in my death, which will remove your best, and possibly only, ticket back to your home, right?" Ner wore a smug smirk. He probably thought his dizzying display of logic would dissuade the Courier from his current course of action.
The Courier nodded once. "I'll deal with that problem when it arises," he said. "Now do you have anything else to say or are you gonna let us chase you down while you hide in your evil villain lair?"
"Well I was going to give a speech about how 'what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger'," Ner said in mock offense, "but it seems I'm not wanted here anymore." Ner threw his hooves up in defeat. "I guess I'll go brood in my, how did you say it? Ah yes, 'evil villain lair'" He gave the Courier a contemptuous look. The man merely raised an eyebrow at the theatrics the necromancer was putting forth. "Yes, I'll go brood in my evil villain lair and wait for you intrepid heroes to put me down like the fallen king of Lordaeron."
"Are you done yet?" the Courier questioned.
"Almost," Ner said, holding a hoof up. With deliberate slowness he raised the beastie's axe up so it glinted in the light. "This is for you," he said directly to me, "consider it a gift for being the first worthy opponent I've faced in centuries."
"Centuries?" the Courier asked incredulously.
Ner only replied with a smirk that seemed to last in the air even as the pony himself teleported away, allowing the axe to fall to the ground with a dull thump.
The Courier let out a low whistle. "He is quite the character, isn't he."
"That he is," Fphant agreed from behind us. The mirage seemed none the worse for wear, though I didn't really know what it looked like when a spirit got injured. Meh, he looked alright so I'mma assume he is alright.
"Gah!" The Courier leapt back, taking aim with his gun. When he realized he wasn't about to be attacked he lowered the weapon and let out a breath. "When'd you get here?"
"I've been here the whole time." I couldn't quite tell, but I think I saw a smug expression on the mirage's face.
"Well that's good," I said. "It means I won't have to fill you in on what happened like I will for the Sorceress and Unique." Speaking of my two pony friends, they and the rest of the trains passengers were beginning to emerge from their hiding places.
I trotted over and nabbed my shiny new weapon while the crowd slowly approached. I'd hate to forget to pick it up and force the author to magically put it in my inventory during the chapter break. Resting the axe on my back I couldn't help but marvel at how well Ner shrunk it. I doubt I could lift even half of the axe in its original state.
Many of the approaching ponies eyed both Fphant and the Courier warily, but seeing as how they'd just helped take down the monster attacking the train I didn't think the ponies would try anything hostile. "Would you mind letting us know what exactly happened here?" the Sorceress asked. I heard murmurs of agreement from the crowd and noticed many ponies turned a distinct green color as they eyed the pile of bones.
I sat down and prepared to tell a long story. "Well it all started when y'all stampeded down the train thataway..."