How to Bore a Commissioner

by Shieldheart204


Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Three hours passed since Shield started unpacking his cardboard boxes and after Twilight concluded her questioning.

"Now I think we can say that I have officially moved to Ponyville." said Shield as he finished organizing his Full Magical Warrior series on the shelf. "Who would have thought that twenty volumes of Neijonese manga could weigh so much?"

"I am sure that if Twilight were to see your collection she would be jealous. Why on earth do you own a hundred different books? Haven't you heard of a library?"

"Of course I have! But the Vanhoover Library and I don't have what you could call a healthy relationship."

"Did you bring some books out of date?"

"Late books are the least of my crimes against the library. My biggest crime is having my backpack damaged. So whenever I have to explain that their copy of Dusk Vampires got chewed on by a bandersnatch, or that the copy of The Hunter got destroyed after a firefight in a train station it makes them want to revoke my membership card. So in order to avoid that I just simply buy my own fiction and stash it in my room."

"And what about those reference books you have? I doubt you bought Star Swirl's Grimoire just because you were afraid of losing it. I did not know they would even lend you a book of such importance, specially if the only copy is in the Canterlot Library."

"That's because I stole it from the archives in order to make sure no one stole it." he said in a villanous voice.

"And you still allowed me to see it, knowing very well that I could tell the Princess that you have it?"

"One word and I'll blow your head." he said in a cartoonishly rasp voice as pulled out Ash and pointed it at her forehead. To his surprise she didn't flinch, but this was probably due to his huge grin. "Nah, not really. Actually, that's a replica. There's no way that they're gonna let me touch, let alone keep, a relic with so much power."

"So when can we meet your fellow Commissioners?" asked Rarity as she went to the kitchen and pulled out a glass bottle of Sparkle Cola.

"STOP!" yelled Shield, freezing the seamstress in terror. "BULLET TIME!" he then pulled out Snow and in the blink of an eye fired a crimson bolt towards the soda. Before she could react Rarity saw the bullet remove the bottle cap clean off. "Sorry, I just got the urge to do that. What was your question?" he asked as he shook his head.

"I was asking you if you were going to bring your friends some day so that we could meet them." she said as she took a sip from the bottle.

"Are you sure you want to meet four more lunatics? I would understand if they were outstanding members of society, but just like me, they are demented Commissioners who possess little social inclination."

"But I'm sure that they will be just as interesting as you have been."

Shield was grabbing a Sparkle Cola Zero when she said that, he used Snow to create a small layer of ice in the glass. With a gulp he exhaled in delight. "As cold as an In-Law's kiss. Oh, well I guess I could invite them to a birthday reunion if you are so keen on meeting them. Oh Celestia, I totally forgot that my birthday is next week!"

"Yes it is, I suppose you might want to book a place for..."

"Nah, it's just a simple reunion. My house is fine. I'm sure they won't mind staying here for a week." he said as he groomed his chin. "On a completely unrelated note, how many schools are there?"

"There's just the public schools, why is this coming up so suddenly?"

"I have a little sister coming to live with me, and I want to make sure that she gets the best education available. So I think it might be a good idea to talk with the staff. She can be very special when it comes to bullies, and I would like to give them a heads-up."

"And by special you mean shy, right?" she asked, somewhat unconvinced that she was right.

"No, I mean that she gets angry whenever she sees bullying. And it doesn't matter if it isn't aimed at her, if she sees someone making someone else's life miserable she's gonna pounce. And hard. At one point I had to hear about a time she broke someone's arm just because he was insulting the socially awkward kid."

"Why is it that you and anyone you are associated with sounds to be very violent?" she asked, baffled by the statement.

"Hawk Eye is my responsibility. I've raised her to the best of my ability, which I'll admit is extremely poor. I always thought that those with strength should protect those that are weaker, and she took it a little too well. She's also a pretty good puncher for a ten year-old. Again, totally my fault." said the brigadier as he scratched the back of his head in slight embarrassment.

"You taught your sister self-defense?"

"Of course I did! Considering the dangers you can find you never know when she'll need protection and I won't be around. And before you say anything, in my line of work there's always a chance for that to happen."

"So when you offered to train my sister in firearms, were you serious?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to see her smile, I don't like sad children."

"So speaking of self-defense, when will you continue my training?" asked the violet-haired beauty.

Shield was taken by surprise and was forced to snort soda out of his nose. As he choked to regain himself. "The thought of training civilians had completely slipped my mind. Are you sure you want to learn how to defend yourself?"

"Of course, a lady must always be ready to protect herself in case there is no gentleman around to protect me Or would you rather have me a helpless burden?" she asked as she turned her head away from the blond man.

"I do prefer having a trained agent who is capable of navigating the putrescent waters of nobility rather than one who is only capable of screaming SAVE ME!" he said as he placed a small bead on his right ear and pressing a button on his cellphone. "This is Brigadier Shield Heart speaking." he said as he pushed the bead on his ear.

"Who..." began Rarity before Shield motioned for her to be quiet by placing his index finger over his lips.

"Hey Whiplash, how's your day going? Me? I'm fine. You're already here? That was quick. " he looked at his pocket watch. "An hour early in fact. It appears as though you have learned the virtue of punctuality. Oh, you're nearly there? I guess that's good enough for a Cloudsdanian." he said, pressing the bead once more as the conversation ended.

"Who was that?"

"Commissioner Whiplash of Cloudsdale, I asked her to take the thugs to their jail seeing as though it is far easier than Tartarus or Vanhoover's Gulag. That and also because it's the best prison for small chums." he declared as he put his now empty bottle down. "Now if you will excuse me, I have a gang leader that must be prosecuted." he went down the stairs, inputting his prints as quickly as possible and taking a look at the room.

The prisoner was still tied up, and his hands were starting to look purple. Without warning he blasted his feet to create another pair of cufflinks and detached him from the hook on the ceiling.

"C'mon dreg, it's judgement time." he smirked as he motioned Serpent to start moving. "It's time for you to know what happens when you choose the thug life."

Twilight stepped forward, showing the data pad with the digital paperwork filled out. "There's one more thing we need to discuss." she whispered as she tried to nudge Shield away from the prisoner.

"What is it?" he asked with no emotion.

"I need to know about his future." she said as she eyed the young criminal.

"He's getting a year of sentence with a chance of parole. There's really not much to add, he's just a kid who made a bad choice in friends. You already know this, why ask again?"

"Because for the last three hours he has revealed every single contact he knows, and after cross-referencing with the Most Wanted database I figured that there is at least one criminal who you might be interested in: The Black Rose, a gang leader..."

"Responsible for the disappearance of three Commissioners, I know. So what did he say, specifically?"

"He said, and I quote: I met him three years ago, after I saved him from a thug. He was impressed with me and taught me how to cap people, how to run a gang and even how to get drugs through immigration. After a year he got me and Boulder a bunch of dudes to start our gang and told us that we could use his safe-house in Froggy Bottom Bog whenever we wanted. End quote. You do realize that his safe-house is very close, right?"

"So I believe you are merely pointing this out right? You don't want me to call reinforcements so we can storm his house in the middle of the night?"

"I wanted you to write down that he has been helpful. Considering what he has done I don't think he deserves to be sent to a jail high in the sky."

"He's a criminal, criminals belong in jail." he said coldly.

"But he's been helpful, and he shows regret for his actions."

"I know, but he still needs to learn that actions have consequences, and so do you." he stared at her. "I know you want to help people, but sometimes you can't save everyone. This is a prime example. If he wants to save himself he will have to help us end what he started."

"And what's that? The fight is over, you won. What more could there be?"

Shield took out a small bag. "This is Pixie Dust. It makes ordinary people mages and makes mages incredibly powerful. This is at the cost of their sanity. It messes with your mind and makes you think you are as powerful as an angel. An overdose of this makes you summon an Over Soul and makes you destroy as much stuff as you can. And this piece of scum, because I'm not allowed to swear in front of innocent young women, needs to pay for his crimes. What would you have done if his buddy had gone postal on Ponyville? Ask him to not destroy the town? Hit him with the Elements of Harmony?"

Twilight felt embarrassed. "I never thought of that..."

"Which is exactly why I did. I know it's not easy living in a paradise and suddenly waking up to the dark and spooky world that is reality. If you can't think of all the dangers that surround you then you can't stop the evil. And if you can't do that then I have to step in. That's a Commissioner's duty. Now enough talk, move it kid! I ain't got all day!" he said as he gestured Serpent to move with his white pistol.

The following minutes were spent in total silence. Shield was holding his black rifle in a ready position. The goons were still passed out, their bonds still in place.

There was a sudden roar of engines around the park as a large aircraft descended into the now-devastated plaza. Its shiny chrome plating sporting the painting of a mechanical eagle swooping down. It had two engines on its wings, shifting from horizontal to vertical as it made its approach. As the craft landed with a thud, the back door hissed open to reveal sixteen Seraphs in blue uniforms. Most of them were holding the Hermes Pattern Rifles while only four held a compact version, which Shield could identify as the Parasprite SMG.

The soldiers moved about their craft, pointing their guns to the outside. From the ramp descended one last passenger, a turquoise-haired woman wearing a padded blue tank top, camo pants, leather bracers on each forearm, a Parasprite on her right and a sword strapped to her left hip. Her black wings folded themselves as she scanned her surroundings. "Secure the area men, we got ten minutes to high-tail back to Cloudsdale if I want to see my show." she said with an air of authority.

"Whiplash! How are you?" asked the blond soldier as he stepped forward and motioned for a hug.

"Put a sock on it Papa Bear, this bust had better be worth my time or I'll have..." she began scolding as Shield took out the confiscated drugs. "Pegasus's wings, that shit can't be good." Twilight handed Shield the data pad, with the documentation ready to show. "Well, at least that shit's done."

As the librarian backed down she noticed that Rainbow Dash was landing just left to her. "What are you doing here?"

"I was just finishing up my work when I saw that thing land, and since I recognize the eagle I thought I might stick around." answered the weather girl casually.

"You mean the mechanical eagle on the side of that aircraft? What's so special about it?" asked Twilight.

"You don't know? That's the Warhawks's logo. Don't you know?"

"My specialty is not in the Armed Forces."

"Yeah, anyways, what are Cloudsdale soldiers doing here?"

"Shield asked their Commissioner, Whiplash I think is her name, to take the thugs who beat up Fluttershy to jail."

"Really? Wow, your friend is definitely something. I hear he beat them up single-handed." Rainbow said as she looked at the Seraph Commissioner. "Is that Whiplash?" she shouted aloud as she walked toward the couple of warrior.

Both of them turned their gaze to look at her. "Is that Rainbow Dash, the world's fastest Seraph?" asked Whiplash as she began to recognize her.

"Buck yeah!"

"What the hell are you doing here? I thought Spitfire had accepted you into the Wonderbolts."

"They still haven't accepted me in, maybe because they think I'm too good for them." said Rainbow as she lifted her hair with her left hand.

"How do you two know each other?" asked Shield with a puzzled look.

"We met in Flight School back in Cloudsdale. She was the fastest one while I was the strongest one."

"Figures." replied Shield coldly.

"So you ready to jail these jerks for hitting Fluttershy?" interrupted Rainbow.

"These assholes did what? I thought we were accusing them of selling Pixie Dust?" snapped the female Commissioner as she stared at him with Alice blue-eyes.

He jerked back as he prepared to refute. "We are, that and also with several other charges, including: disturbing the peace, unprovoked assault upon an innocent bystander, use of solid projectile weapons and the worst of all, being the biggest assholes in this part of Equestria."

"Okay, promise me you'll keep an eye on Fluttershy. That girl means a lot to us."

"Sure thing boss, and here's the paperwork." he said as he put the tablet forward.

With a swift move she pulled out a black device and bumped it against his. "Good to know that for once you have your papers on time." said Whip as she turned to face Rainbow dash. "I'll be back soon for that rematch you owe me Crash. Oh and Shield, you got any new moves for the tests?" she turned to her soldiers who were loading the prisoners to the large craft. "Hawks, back to the bird!" she commanded as she spun her index and middle fingers in small circles.

All soldiers immediately flew toward the back of the VTOL, before it took to the air while the back closed. Three seconds later it disappeared with a large boom.

"You really got to love the Albatross VTOLs, those things are effing fast!" said Shield as he turned on his heels and began walking so fast it almost appeared he was running.

"What did she mean by new moves?" shot Twilight as she froze him in place.

"I kinda have to come up with something new to prove that I have not been scratching my buttocks for the last five years or so. A task like this naturally requires months of training..." he said as he failed to meet her eyes, desperately trying to drop the subject.

"And am I correct in guessing you forgot about this crucial part of your job entirely?" retorted Twilight as she approached him.

"I'm sorry, but I thought that taking some R&R after the Manehattan Operation was a reason for me to stop worrying about the tests." he said enraged as he holstered his rifle. "Now if you will excuse me I need to go home and have a little cry while I think of new career paths." He soon left without letting anyone talk back.