Four is the pony whom soon you must...
Fluttershy half expected the house to be locked when she arrived. Instead, all the doors were open and she was able to walk right in. Rainbow was lying on one of the couches. Her eyes were open, but they didn’t seem to really see. She stared blankly at the ceiling, not moving save the rise and fall of her chest.
Fluttershy approached cautiously, afraid that this interaction would just give rise to another shouting match. She needn’t have worried. When she was close enough, Rainbow said, “Hello, Fluttershy.”
“Hello.”
Rainbow gave a bitter laugh. She rolled over and sat up so she could face her friend. “That’s all you’ve got? ‘Hello’? That’s lame.” Her words were harsh but her tone was only tired.
Fluttershy smiled weakly. “Yes, I suppose it is. Do you want to talk?”
“No.” Rainbow sighed before gesturing with her head for Fluttershy to sit down. “Park your flank.” Fluttershy sat down beside Rainbow, still a little apprehensive. “Six and a half years,” she said, after a while.
Fluttershy tilted her head on one side. “What?”
“It took me six and a half years to build this house,” she elaborated. “At first it was just a little shack I threw together. It didn’t seem big enough so I started adding to it. Six and a half years later….” She shrugged. “After a while, I guess it just became a habit. Every time I got a little stressed or bored or lonely or frustrated I’d build an extra wing.”
“What made you stop?” asked Fluttershy, now genuinely curious.
“It got too big. I thought about selling it, but I knew I’d only end up building another one. It’s strange; it’s as though one part of me needs to have the best palace in Equestria, and another part gets overwhelmed by the size. I guess that grandiose streak was always going to be my undoing.” She laughed again, this time with a little more real humour.
Fluttershy smiled. “I bet Rarity would kill to get a look at this place.”
“Yea, I guess she probably would.”
There was a long silence as Rainbow contemplated the gurgling rainbow fountain in the corner. Fluttershy waited patiently, knowing that Rainbow would speak when she was ready. Sure enough, after a few long minutes, she whispered. “I know I’m going to have to tell them. I realised that after I stormed off, earlier. They’ll all be expecting me to take Big Mac to the couples’ night.” She turned to Fluttershy. “But I can’t do it without your help…” she trailed off, clearly uncomfortable. “You’re my best friend and….”
Fluttershy reached out and lay a hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder, smiling. “I told you I wouldn’t let you do this alone.”
“Thanks, Shy.” She smiled cautiously. “If… if you wanted to— to stay here for the next few days, uh, I have lots of rooms. You should see the main guest room. It has an en suite bathroom and a balcony and everything.”
“That sounds wonderful.”
Late that night found Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash lying comfortably on the couch chair in the living room. Rainbow was beginning to realise she hadn’t spent that much time with her friend since flight school. When they had parted ways, they had left that part of their friendship behind. After reuniting in Ponyville, there had always been another pony present when they were together. She wondered if Fluttershy was thinking the same thing.
Throughout the day, they had done nothing but sit and talk. It had been a bit strained at times, but Fluttershy seemed to have decided that she wouldn’t push Rainbow to come out to her friends. A fact for which Rainbow was extremely grateful.
There were no fires in cloud houses, but built where a fire place would be housed in an earth pony residence, was a glass container in which lightning flickered. It gave off about the same amount of heat as a fire and, Rainbow had always thought, was much more beautiful. It made a gentle buzz that, at first, might sound jarring but after a while, blended into the silence like melted butter.
The conversation was currently in a lull. Rainbow wondered if it was a natural silence or if she should feel awkward. As she watched the lightning, the question that had been bobbing around her mind for the past month, nagging at her, resurfaced and, here, now, in the glowing light from a jar of lightning, she felt she could finally ask it.
“Fluttershy, do you ever… notice any of our friends?”
For a time, Fluttershy said nothing, simply gazing at the flickering light. She shifted position, flipping over so her belly was exposed and her hooves stuck up. Rainbows eyes traced the gentle curves of her body, right down to the velvety flank and butterfly cutie mark. The way her soft physique caught the harsh white light caused a contrast that was nothing short of breathtaking. Her eyes were luminous, the blue only accentuated by the same light that so flattered her form. It hit Rainbow, then, how different this Fluttershy was to the Fluttershy she had thought she knew. Gone was the cowering and squeaking. She now seemed entirely comfortable in her own skin. The difference was subtle and yet impossible to miss. What was left after taking away such a fundamental part of who she was as a pony, though? What still made her, her? After what felt like minutes, but was probably only seconds, Fluttershy said “Yes,” shaking Rainbow from her trance.
Rainbow felt uncomfortable. She had expected… what? Denial? An honest negative? She had expected anything other than an open, unashamed ‘yes.’
Fluttershy looked up when Rainbow said nothing. “Does that bother you?” she asked genuinely.
“No… I guess not.” Rainbow glanced up at the clock. “Hey, it’s nine twenty, you hungry?” she asked to change the subject.
Fluttershy smiled pleasantly. “What did you have in mind?”
“Pizza and a movie?” said Rainbow, hopefully.
Fluttershy grinned. “That sounds cheesy.”
Fluttershy was roused from slumber by the clatter of china. She had fallen asleep halfway through the movie. It was just some action shoot-‘em-and-run sort of deal. Pretty typical Rainbow Dash. The cops were chasing the hero or maybe the hero was chasing the bad guy, she hadn’t really been paying much attention.
Rainbow was in the kitchen washing the dishes.
“Can’t sleep?” asked Fluttershy, placing her hooves on Rainbow’s shoulders.
“My mum used to say that if you’re lost or confused, you should wash the dishes.”
Fluttershy felt tense muscles relax under her soft caress. “Is it helping?”
Rainbow shuddered as Fluttershy’s hoof found a particularly tense spot. “To be honest, I think she was just trying to get me to do chores.”
“It’s too bad she never got to see this place. She would have been proud.”
Rainbow sighed in pleasure and rolled her shoulders. “Yea, I’m sure she’d be real proud,” she said, her voice suddenly turning bitter. “She must be turning in her grave. If she were alive, she would disown me.”
“That would be her loss. You have a lot to be proud of, Rainbow,” said Fluttershy seriously. “You were crowned the best young flyer by the Wonderbolts themselves, you’re the most dedicated local weather pony, you embody the element of loyalty and you’re my best friend.”
Rainbow pulled away from Fluttershy’s grip. “Oh yea, and I’m gay. Do you think anyone would take all those achievements seriously if they knew?”
Rainbow placed the last dish on the drainer, emptied the sink, rinsed off her hooves and walked back into the lounge room.
“I can just see the headlines: ‘Dyke crowned best young flyer. Parents panic about the example their foals are being shown’.”
“I think headlines are usually a little shorter than that.”
“You’re right, how about ‘Fillyfooler flies and parents panic’?”
Fluttershy smiled. “Or ‘Rainbow Dyke makes love to the sky’?”
Despite herself, Rainbow chuckled. “How ‘bout ‘Best young flyer seen making eyes at Spitfire’?”
Fluttershy laughed quietly. “‘The daring dive of Dyke Dash’.”
Rainbow flopped onto the couch, a begrudging smile on her face. Fluttershy sat beside her, putting a hoof around her shoulders. “It could be worse.”
Rainbow snuggled into her friend’s embrace. “Oh? Tell me how it could be worse.”
“Twilight’s spell could have made you transgendered. You’re athletic but can you imagine how much harder that would be?”
Rainbow shifted a little. “I think I had a transgendered cousin. I’m not really sure, we all made fun of him, though,” she said sleepily. “His voice sounded like a filly’s and he had a really delicate face.”
“You teased him? Rainbow, that’s awful.”
“Well I know that now. It’s easier to empathise now that I have some idea of what he was going through.” She yawned hugely. “Well, he was either transgendered or very, very gay.” She yawned again. “I should probably go to bed,” she said, making no move to get up.
“That’s ok, why don’t you just sleep here tonight?”
Rainbow smiled, nestling her head into the soft fur on Fluttershy’s chest. “Yea, that sounds like a good idea.”
Fluttershy stroked Rainbow’s cheek, a tender smile on her face. She could feel her wing cramping up already, her right for-hoof had gone dead and there wasn’t anywhere she would rather be.
Rainbow murmured drowsily as sleep overtook her, “Goodnight, Fluttershy. Love you.”
“Goodnight, Rainbow Dash.” Fluttershy’s heart was hammering, even as she told herself to dismiss what Rainbow had just said. It probably meant nothing; a thoughtless slip of the tongue, but if it did mean something…. No, she couldn’t let herself think like that, the last thing she needed right now was more emotional turmoil. Still, either way, it was unlikely she would get much sleep that night.
“So bongo, bongo, bong I don’t wanna leave the Congo oh no, no, no, no, no…”
Rainbow awoke slowly, her whole body telling her something was wrong, something was very, very wrong.
“Bingle bangle bungle I’m so happy in the jungle I refuse to go.”
Rainbow sat bolt upright, saying, “Nonononononononono shitshitshitshitshitshit.” She bolted into the main living area to find her record player had been removed from its hiding place. Worse, it was playing one of the records from her tumble locked safe. She lifted the needle from the record and stowed it back in the safe.
“Good morning,” said a cheery voice from behind her. “How are you feeling?”
Rainbow spun around, her cheeks bright red. “What were you thinking snooping around my stuff?” she snapped. “That was private. How did you even unlock the safe?”
Fluttershy, looked innocent; a little too innocent. “I just tried lots of combinations until I got it right. Why two one six? And why does the safe have ‘G.E.C.K.’ written on the side?”
Rainbow scowled. “It’s a private joke.”
“But why do you hide those albums? There’s some good stuff in there, I love The Andrews Sisters.”
“Can you imagine if Applejack found out I listen to music from before Granny Smith’s time? I’d never hear the end of it.”
Fluttershy sighed. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell.”
Rainbow turned her back, grumbling, “Good,” rather churlishly.
Rainbow headed towards the kitchen, ready to perform her morning ritual of checking if, against all odds, there was something easy and tasty in the kitchen. Fluttershy followed, quietly watching as Rainbow raided her own kitchen. After several minutes of searching, which only yielded half a banana, some day-old, burned pancakes and some sour apple cider, Rainbow turned to Fluttershy. She smiled sheepishly. “Don’t suppose you want to go and get some real breakfast? I promise I won’t yell at you this time.”
“Sure.”
“Just, not that one we went to last time.”
“That’s ok, I know several others.”
Steam filled the large bathroom, making the air thick and the glass opaque. Rainbow stood in the flow of hot water, eyes closed. She sighed deeply as Fluttershy’s hooves gently smoothed out her feathers, ruffled as they were from sleeping on the couch.
Rainbow had not really been surprised when Fluttershy followed her to the shower. Even so, she still hadn’t decided how she felt about it. It was… nice… in a way. After everything that had happened, it would be unnerving to be left alone. Then again, something felt different. Fluttershy had been acting strange all morning. It was hard to pinpoint how, or what had changed, but her glances seemed too long, her expression unreadable, her eyes searching.
Rainbow shivered a little as Fluttershy rinsed the conditioner from her coat. She pulled away, not really sure why she suddenly felt uncomfortable, but knowing she did.
Fluttershy looked at her quizzically. “Is something wrong?”
Rainbow shifted her weight from hoof to hoof, gazing intently at the drain as the last of the soap was washed away. She took a deep breath and looked her friend in the eye. It was odd, really, the way her heart fluttered at the thought of doing that; of looking into Fluttershy’s eyes. When she did, though, they were just blue. Just the same blue as ever, neither scary, nor daunting. “I don’t know, you tell me. Come on, Shy, you’ve been acting a little off all morning.”
Fluttershy looked away. Rainbow couldn’t help but notice the way her expression did not slide away like it would have only days before. She wondered if this was because Fluttershy didn’t want to hide her feelings or if she simply couldn’t. “I’m fine.”
Rainbow moved closer, instinct telling her to comfort a friend. She wrapped her hoof around Fluttershy’s shoulders. “Whatever it is, you know you can tell me.”
Fluttershy looked up and it might just have been an accident that her nose brushed against Rainbow’s cheek. She smiled gratefully. “I know. Thank you.” She hesitated and, for a moment, it seemed as if she might say more. A few beats and the moment was gone. “Now, can I finish washing the conditioner out of your coat?”
Rainbow hesitated for a moment, wanting an answer but also not wanting to cause Fluttershy any discomfort. In the end, she just nodded and turned. There was a tense silence, then Fluttershy said, “Will you want me to remind you not to scarf your food today or are you going to remember for yourself?” and the chatter started up again.
The clock ticked slowly, lending a soft rhythm to the comfortable silence. Rainbow was lying belly up on her favourite couch, drifting in that state where one is too tired to move but not tired enough to sleep. She reached up and rubbed a hoof across her bleary eyes.
At breakfast, Fluttershy had suggested they make a time to meet up with the others, if not so Rainbow could tell them what had happened, then at least to assure them that they needn’t worry. Rainbow had resisted, saying she wasn’t ready to face that yet and was grateful when Fluttershy did not pursue the issue. She knew it would have to happen at some point and the thought didn’t scare her as much as it once had, but even so, she told herself it was not something that couldn’t wait at least a few more days.
Rainbow was pulled from her reverie by the sound of hoofsteps coming from just beyond her line of sight. After a few seconds, Fluttershy had flopped down beside her and snuggled in close. Rainbow didn’t say anything as Fluttershy opened the book she was holding— blue cover with two clouds on the front, one black, one white— and continued reading.
Rainbow found a strange comfort in the solid ‘thump, thump’ of her friend’s heartbeat. It felt good to have an anchor to reality that soothed the thoughts she hadn’t even known were turbulent. Rainbow felt her breathing slow as the clock continued to tick, not really noticing when Fluttershy closed her book and set it aside.
They stayed like that for quite some time, not needing to talk or think, only to feel. After what felt like a blissful eternity cut short, Fluttershy shifted her position, turning so she could Face Rainbow. “We should go to bed, you don’t want to sleep on the couch again, do you?”
Rainbow wrapped her hoof more tightly around Fluttershy, pulling her closer again. “I don’t care,” she said, half knowing that she would regret it when she woke up tomorrow with a crick in her neck.
Fluttershy smiled tenderly. “Come on,” she said, standing and helping Rainbow to her hooves. “You don’t want to be all stiff tomorrow.”
And so, half leaning on Fluttershy, Rainbow made her way to the master bedroom. When she reached her bed, she fell onto it without any hesitation, not even bothering to wrap the covers around herself.
After a few hesitant seconds, Fluttershy joined her, tucking the covers around both of them. Rainbow looked at her quizzically. not really objecting, just curious.
Fluttershy only smiled sweetly and said “Goodnight.”
Too tired to make a fuss, Rainbow shrugged and pulled Fluttershy closer, deciding she might as well make the best of it.
The clock ticked on deaf ears as both ponies quickly slipped into the realm of dreams.
Light filtering through lids becoming dappled and blurred. A breath, the air smells of a foreign smell that is also so familiar, there is another pony in the bed. Spring flowers, lavender and a hint of musk, the pony is Fluttershy. Warmth, the covers are toasty warm and as comfortable as a dream. Contentment, a warm flood over the chest like a nice bath or a tender hug. Love, a contented smile.
Rainbow smiled. This was the seventh night in a row that she had slept without nightmares. Fluttershy had never made a move to return to her own bed and Rainbow hadn’t asked her to. She may have her pride, but after so long waking up in tears, pride could go fuck itself. If Sleeping with Fluttershy meant waking up to this pleasant warm feeling all through her chest and this strange relaxed contentment, then that was reason enough. Throughout this past week, Fluttershy had always been there, seldom more than a few feet from Rainbow and always ready to lay a hoof on a shoulder or offer a gentle hug. It was odd, but somehow, Rainbow didn’t mind. It was… nice. Perhaps it was just nice to have someone who cared.
She rolled over, wrapping the still sleeping Fluttershy in a soft embrace. One week. It had been one week since Fluttershy had decided to stay here. Rainbow suspected that, at some point, she had only remained because both of them had grown accustomed to it. Then again, maybe Fluttershy would only trust that Rainbow had recovered when she came out to her friends. Well, that was going to happen sooner rather than later. The couples’ night would be upon them in just over two weeks and it wouldn’t do to leave this kind of surprise til the last minute. Rainbow sighed at the thought. The idea still daunted her, but not as much as it once had. She could at least contemplate it without feeling physically nauseous, which was progress, she supposed.
Rainbow would have been happy to simply lie there and take stock of her life for hours, but, as it happened, Fluttershy chose that exact moment to blink blearily. She looked over at Rainbow and smiled. “Good morning, you.”
“Morning, Shy. Sorry to wake you.”
Fluttershy snuggled closer. “I’ll live.”
Rainbow sucked in a deep breath, preparing to do something she knew she would regret. It was about time. “Shy…?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you think…” she hesitated, then plunged on. “I was thinking today we might have lunch with the others.” She tensed, aware that she had flung herself off the cliff. She’d said it now, she had committed, if not to Fluttershy, then to herself, that she would come out to her best friends.
Fluttershy was silent for a long moment. Rainbow could almost hear her thinking. At last, she said, “Are you doing this because you feel ready or because you think you should?”
“I feel like I should… and I feel ready. At least, as ready as I’ll ever be.”
Fluttershy nodded, her grip growing just a little tighter. When she spoke there was a touch of hesitance in her voice that Rainbow couldn’t explain. “Do you want to see them one by one or all at once? I can tell you from experience that it’s easier just telling one pony.”
“Do you think I should just tell Applejack for today?” Rainbow asked, aware that this was a copout. At least it was close enough to what she had to do that her conscience wouldn’t pester her.
Fluttershy seemed to think for a moment. “I can’t tell you how to do this; it has to be your decision all the way.” She smiled and gave Rainbow a little squeeze. “But I’ll support you no matter what you decide.”
Rainbow smiled and, because it seemed right, kissed Fluttershy on the nose.
Fluttershy looked up and perhaps it was just Rainbow’s imagination, but her cheeks looked a little pink. “What was that for?”
Rainbow’s cheeks went a little pink too, but she didn’t really care. She couldn’t imagine letting herself be this vulnerable with Pinkie Pie or Applejack or any of the others, but with Fluttershy, it seemed… right. Rainbow figured it was because Fluttershy had seen her breakdown after the run in with Big Mac. After something like that, there wasn’t much more vulnerable she could be. “I’m just grateful. I can’t imagine what I would have done if you hadn’t been here.”
Fluttershy’s expression was difficult to read, save for the fact that she was blushing a little harder. “You would have managed by yourself. If I could do it, you could too,” she managed. It was a feeble dismissal that, for some reason, made Rainbow smile.
“Probably, but I’m glad I didn’t have to find out. Thank you for being here,” she said, partially because it was true, but mostly just to see what effect it would have.
She wasn’t disappointed as Fluttershy looked very flustered indeed. She struggled with herself for a moment, then she tackled Rainbow, pinning her to the bed. “Stop that.”
Rainbow laughed and easily flipped her less athletic friend. “Make me.”
Fluttershy struggle feebly for a few seconds before giving in. “Let me up.”
“No.”
Fluttershy’s face was turning bright red. She struggled again, more desperately this time, trying to break the eye-contact the position forced on her. “Rainbow, let me up.” There was something different in her voice, now. Rainbow rolled off, sensing she had done something wrong.
Fluttershy rolled quickly off the bed. She turned her back and walked towards the kitchen without a word.
Rainbow got up too, determined to find out what was wrong. She caught up with Fluttershy in the kitchen.
“Shy, what’s wrong?”
“I’m fine.”
Fluttershy was in the kitchen making tea, all the while keeping her back to Rainbow.
“Come on, you can’t actually expect me to believe that. You’re not a good liar at the best of times.”
Fluttershy didn’t say anything, merely kept bustling around the kitchen. Eventually, Rainbow came up behind her and wrapped her hooves around her friend’s chest. Fluttershy flinched and pulled away, finally spinning to face Rainbow. “Please just let it go.” There it was again; that slightly desperate edge. Her face was still flushed, seeming to radiate heat.
“Fluttershy…” Rainbow hesitated for a moment, unsure of her course of action. Making up her mind, she stepped forward and laid her hoof on Fluttershy’s, grateful when she didn’t pull away. “This is silly. I can see something is wrong, so why don’t you come sit down and tell me what it is?”
Fluttershy hesitated, but seemed to be calming down a little. She nodded reluctantly and walked sedately into the lounge room, not actually inviting Rainbow to follow, but not objecting when she did.
Once they were seated, Rainbow said, “Now, what is it?”
Fluttershy looked up, meeting Rainbow’s eyes. There it was; that same feeling Rainbow always got when looking Fluttershy in the eye. It was like a little jolt in her heart and a light feeling in her stomach before she remembered that this was Fluttershy and why was she so nervous about Fluttershy?
“Rainbow…” she looked away, seeming to lose what little resolve she had.
That was all she said, but something in the way she said it struck a chord. Rainbow found herself looking at her best friend as if for the first time, seeing everything she had once missed. She was suddenly flying around as a filly, aware that the only pair of eyes really watching her were Fluttershy’s. She was sitting under sheets talking about the colt she had a crush on while Fluttershy looked at her with huge, dewy eyes. She was in detention with Fluttershy, who hadn’t actually gotten in trouble, but had stayed anyway to keep Rainbow company.
This time, Fluttershy didn’t look up, just whispered to the couch cushion, “I can’t tell you.”
And now she was hearing those words again when she asked Fluttershy who she was taking to the couples’ night, only this time she saw her friend’s posture, saw her eyes, just as dewy, just as easy to read as they had always been. Now she was at the café, listening to Fluttershy telling her that she couldn’t possibly understand what she had gone through. Only now, Rainbow believed her.
There was a long, long, silence as Rainbow’s heart seemed to beat at thrice its normal rate. Now she lay in Fluttershy’s embrace as she drifted off to sleep, the words she had whispered so important and yet just out of reach.
She looked at Fluttershy, her best friend, and said, “Oh.”
Fluttershy looked up, her cheeks burning as the final secret between them vanished. She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t need to speak for Rainbow to know just how scared she was. Rainbow didn’t speak either, merely pulled Fluttershy into a tight embrace. Though her heart raced, she also felt a strange calm. Sure of her actions, she nestled her muzzle against Fluttershy’s ear and whispered something.
Fluttershy was silent for a long moment, then she too said, “Oh.”