Dear Celestia,
I hope that you and everyone back in Canterlot are doing well. Although you might not have received my last letter, just in case you did, I wanted to update you on the project I had told you about. I have been teaching a few of the unicorns to use the healing magic you taught me (remember when I tried to bring a little wilted flower back to life and accidentally turned it into a whole garden... in the sink?), and sharing the latest research on rain control with the pegasi. The groups are still having some disagreements, but are slowly learning to get along. I am seeing more and more friendships forming among the little ones at the shared palace playground. My subjects in general have been very accepting of me and patient as I learn how best to lead them. It is, however, very different from Ponyville!
By the way, I just heard that Rarity finally opened a branch of her store in Canterlot! And from the picture, it looked like Fluttershy was still modeling her dresses? Everyone is off to such great adventures now - bigger than any of us ever expected.
Life has really sped up, it seems, for all of us. It's been a while since they have written, other than that monthly newsletter from Rarity (which, of course, Spike has on his wall already). I'm so grateful that you taught me to send and receive letters with my own magic - it was really too much for Spike to handle once I had my own royal correspondence to keep up with. I remember watching you read and write letters when I was little and couldn't believe how many there were! Now I'm swimming in parchment too! But you know, for a while, I kept wondering if my letter sending spell wasn't working. It seemed so simple, but it took forever to get the hang of it (let me just apologize for the thousandth time about sending the whole ream of parchment crashing right through your favorite stained glass window during that important meeting). I thought I had gotten it right after that. So I certainly had to wonder about the spell when I wasn't receiving many - and then any - replies from you.
You insisted that I keep writing about my new adventures here. I suppose I thought you still meant through letters! But I suppose I must have misunderstood - I'm not your student anymore, so of course you don't need to hear about my life or what I'm learning all the time. I've started to log my progress in my own journals instead, now that I realize, so I apologize for the abundance of letters I was sending for a while. Can't believe I'm saying this, but... I actually hope they didn't all go through.
So I've decided not to send any more. This is my last letter to you.
Taking care of my own kingdom has proven to be more challenging than I could have imagined. Through the years, you were always there to give me good advice in the little things I was dealing with. You were always there to talk things over with me, or to send some words of encouragement, or just to let me cry under your wing. It seemed like now, more than ever, I would need that advice and support. You'll be glad to hear that I've been able to manage without it, as I'm sure is your intention. That must be part of growing up - learning to be more independent.
I have always known you to be so wise, so I know that if you've meant to push me away then it was for a good reason, whether so that, like a baby bird, I would be forced to find my own wings, or if you just didn't have time anymore. So I don't want to sound ungrateful - I appreciate the time you spent with me and all that you taught me. I have no idea who I would be today if it hadn't been for you.
But, if I can be very honest with you… Even though I can trust that it's for a good reason, I still keep asking myself why. I could learn to be independent but still ask for your counsel sometimes, right?
It feels like one of those early mornings when you took me flying, when I was little. You used your magic to keep me floating. But now, it feels like you got distracted and let go. I may have wings now, but... I don't know if I'm ready for free fall.
Did I do something wrong? I realize that you put up with a lot over the years. Was I too persistent about wanting to be around you? Or was I just weird? You were there through my most socially awkward stages. For a long time, I could hardly say anything that made sense when I tried to talk with you. It was exciting to be your student, but I was so - as Pinkie would say - "nervoucited" when we got to just chat! It was so upsetting when I would blank, and I knew I was taking up your time. You know I've grown out of a lot of that now. But maybe you got tired of trying.
I know how busy you are. You told me time and again how stressful being a princess can be - the weight of all the responsibilities; the way it takes over your life, leaving no room for anything else… It's true, of course, if you let it be that way.
I can't quite imagine how you handle living like that, having to completely give up anything that matters to you for the sake of what we call responsibility. I'm sorry if I misread you or caused you any inconvenience, as a filly. I hope I wasn't taking your time without asking. You never said anything was wrong, and you were there for me… for a while. Then you never seemed to have time.
Do you remember that night at the Grand Galloping Gala, when I stood with you the whole time, and we hardly got to talk at all? I understand now why that was, but I hope you understand too what that was like for me, at that age. A hundred "important" ponies from all over Equestria may have greeted you - greeted us, even - but the memory is all a blur to me. I wasn't there for them. You didn't see me cry afterward - no one did. I was able to pull it together before we got to the doughnut shop, as my friends and I walked in the darkness.
If that had been the only time, then I wouldn't bother mentioning it - I was just immature and selfish. But then it kept happening, more and more often, even after I became a princess. I had thought we would be able to talk more at that point, since we had a little more in common. Somehow, though, you always had someone more important to talk to. You might acknowledge that I was there, but then just ignored me or walked the other direction. Now that I'm so far away and letters are the only way we can communicate, you can't even answer them? How did you ever find time for me in the first place? Was I just another responsibility for you, now checked off the list since I'm off fulfilling my purpose? I'm not sure whether to miss hearing from you or to be happy not to be such a burden to you anymore. I never wanted to cause you any trouble. I even hope this letter isn't too troubling to you, if you get around to reading it.
Whatever the reason may have been, I've realized that I can't be like you. Maybe you don't mind pushing aside those who care about you because you're "busy," but I can't do that. Spike has been helping me delegate some of my less important duties to other ponies whose talents are greater than mine in those areas. It's stressful - you know how I worry! - to trust others enough, but it has allowed me so much more time for things that matter. Speaking of which, a certain little unicorn has been anxiously awaiting her magic lesson.
Thank you for being my patient teacher for so long. I'm sorry to have taken so much of your time and hope that your next student will be less of an inconvenience to you.
Your former most faithful student,
Princess Twilight Sparkle