“Sugar...cube.”
Twilight stopped. Her breathing was labored. Her heart pounded in her chest. Tears kept leaking from her eyes and her limbs quaked. The blade hovered just over Applebloom’s throat.
Applebloom’s hoof fumbled over Twilight’s cheek, much like Candy did when she was sad. It was foalish and uncoordinated. Applebloom giggled at the scalpel and looked at Twilight again.
“Sugarcube,” she said again. Pleased with her own voice she laughed only like foals do. Something inside of Twilight was released; like her heart had been inside of a vice grip and was now free to beat again. She dropped the scalpel, which tumbled down in between the two beds and clattered against the ground. Sitting on her haunches she scooped up Applebloom.
She broke out sobbing, “Ah’m...s-s-so...s-sorry. Y-yer...Mama’s an’...P-Papa’s...l-little apple. J-j-jus like...m-me. A-ah’m...n-not...w-w-worthy of this...c-cowpony h-hat.” She kept sobbing while Applebloom giggled. Twilight took the cowpony hat off and gave it to Applebloom. Applebloom chewed on the brim for a moment, content.
Twilight tried to set Applebloom down, still blubbering. She couldn’t see past the tears, but she felt the hat settle on her head again. She blinked to find Applebloom looking up at her.
“Sugarcube.”
Her tears stopped. She didn’t argue with the foal, but took the hat off and held it to her heart like a holy relic. “Ah can’t stay here. Ya’ll deserve better than me. Ah don’t deserve this here hat. Ah don’t deserve Sweet Apple Acres. Ah don’t deserve you. Ah should just crawl inta a hole an’ die.” She hung her head.
“That’s not true, AJ.”
Twilight whirled around. Granny Smith was in the doorway, watching her. “Granny Smith? Ah’m...Ah’m...” Her lip quivered.
“S’alright AJ, ya don’t have ta say nothin’. Ah understand.” She wheeled herself in and stopped beside the bed. The wheelchair must have been new because it didn’t make a sound. “When yer ready ta wear this hat, you come back to us ya hear?”
Twilight pressed her ears flat against her head. “Ah don’t think Ah’ll ever be ready fer that. Ah don’t even know where we’re gonna go, what we’re gonna do.”
Granny Smith beckoned Twilight closer. She sat at the edge of the bed with her hind hooves dangling over. Granny Smith held Twilight’s hoof in her own. “That’s easy. We build a new barn, a new house, a new life. Then when yer ready, you put that hat on and hold yer head high.”
“Ah don’t think Ah kin stay at Sweet Apple Acres. Ah...Ah...don’t belong.”
Granny Smith stared at her for a long moment before she nodded. “If ya really feel that way, Ah’ll write to yer aunt n’ uncle in Manehatten. Maybe a change o’ scenery will be good for ya. And when you come back, we’ll be a family again.”
“Ah don’t think Ah’ll ever come back.”
Granny Smith smiled and replied, “One day, you’ll see. One day, you’ll wake up...”
Wake up.
Wake up.
Wake up.
Wake up.
Wake up.
pssshhhhhh
Everything was swallowed by static.
~~~~~
Every eye was on her. The room, so full of energy and noise a second ago, was dead silent. Twilight looked down at the blade she held and where she held it. It was hovering over Applejack’s throat, so close that an errant twitch would pierce her coat. Twilight felt like she was on fire, her heart was hammering away in her chest. Applejack cracked two emerald eyes open and looked at Twilight. Her expression languid, her eyes glassy. She blinked once and placed a hoof on Twilight’s cheek.
“It’s alright, sugarcube.”
breath in
blink
White motes flashed across her vision
Applebloom touching her cheek
breath out
blink
The hiss of static in her ears
Applejack looking up at her
breath in
blink
The smell of smoke
Applebloom opening her mouth
breath out
blink
Sitting up in bed
Applejack’s voice: “sugarcube.”
breath in
blink
The sting of tears on her face
Applebloom putting the hat on her head
breath out
blink
Snowcrash across her vision
Applejack sighed and took off her hat
breath in
blink
Her head felt like it would split open
Applebloom’s tiny voice: “sugarcube.”
BREATH OUT
BLINK
The sound of static faded away, her eyes focused, and she could feel wetness on her face
Applejack put the cowpony hat on Twilight.
Twilight felt as if she had fallen into her own body, the world came into sharp focus.
The silence was broken by the sound of a scalpel hitting the floor.
Twilight felt numb as her eyes focused on Applejack. The room was suffused with sterile, white light. In fact, almost everything in it was white. The ponies, the doctor’s lab coat, the walls, the floor, the beds. Only the dark red splotch on the sheets and Applejack herself seemed to burst with color. It wouldn’t have mattered if Pinkie Pie had been juggling foals and flaming chainsaws—Twilight still would have focused on Applejack. She kept sucking in air, trying to slow everything down. She was hyperventilating, reaching out to Applejack, and trying to speak all at the same time. She succeeded only in hyperventilating. Twilight fell forward and Applejack caught her. The entire time, Applejack didn’t seem the least bit surprised.
Sobbing, Twilight finally managed to get words out. “Y-y-you’re...s-so...s-strong. H-h-how... d-do you...”
“Shhh,” Applejack shushed Twilight. “Ah told ya, it’s alright Sugarcube. It’s over.” She paused for a moment with her eyes closed before she answered Twilight. “Honestly, it ain’t easy, but what choice do Ah have? Jus’ count yer blessings an’ hug yer Ma an’ Pa.” She pushed Twilight back to a seated position and this time she was calm enough to remain upright.
The energy exploded back into the room, along with family and friends. Twilight’s father and mother rushed to her side. Velvet all but collapsed onto her daughter, sobbing. Spike was riding on her father’s back, and easily jumped onto her lap. “Don’t scare me like that. Don’t ever leave me, Twilight.” Tears brimmed in his eyes.
Big Mac, with Applebloom riding his back, trotted around the room to stand next to Applejack. Granny Smith was close behind him. He knelt down and picked up the fallen cowpony hat. It had tumbled off of Twilight’s head when she nearly passed out, and was all but forgotten by the staff when it hit the floor. He placed it on Applejack’s head. She placed a hoof on the harness around his neck. The brother and sister looked at each other, and though no words were said, they both understood. Applebloom bounded onto the bed and flung herself into Applejack’s chest, nuzzling her. “Ah was so scared. Don’t ever leave me big sis.” Tears brimmed in her eyes.
The doctors and nurses all tried to continue their work, but found their way blocked by family and friends. Everypony tried to talk at once.
“Darlings, you scared us half to death.”
“Are you guys ok?”
“Heart rate is falling.”
“My baby is alright.”
“Is everything gonna be ok now, doc?”
“You know what this calls for?”
“Time to pack up nurse. I won’t be needed here.”
“I’m so glad you’re ok.”
“I still want them under observation for the rest of the day.”
“A PARTY!”
In the noise, Applejack glanced at Twilight. She was staring at her, but quickly looked down. Her mouth became a frown. Applejack placed a hoof under her chin and raised her head so their eyes met; she understood. She mouthed, “It’s okay, Sugarcube,” before retreating her hoof. Twilight blinked, tears falling as she wrapped her mother and father into a tight hug. Applejack tilted her head down, the shadow from her hat hiding her eyes. She pulled her three remaining family members into a hug. Applebloom blinked and her nose twitched. Something wet had dripped onto it.
“Sis, why’re ya crying?” The noise in the room meant that only Applejack could hear her. She felt a hoof on her withers. She turned to find Twilight prodding her. They looked at each other for a long moment. Tiny expressions flashed between them. They didn’t speak a word, but now Twilight understood, and she nodded.
She stood on shaking limbs as her mother and father helped her out of bed. “Everypony, hello?” She didn’t care if she had to shout to be heard. “HEY!” The room quieted down and everypony but Applejack turned to her. “It’s been a rough night. Let’s get out of here so Applejack can have some peace and quiet.” With her mother and father’s help she walked toward the door.
“I’m not going to discharge you. You were moments away from having open heart surgery!” the doctor exclaimed.
“Fine,” Twilight sighed, “You can put me in another room. You’d prefer it that way, right?”
“Uh...yes,” the doctor stammered but could find no way to object. The door was enveloped in a purplish aura, even though it was already open. Twilight stood on her own outside the door, her legs shaking, gesturing for everypony to leave.
Applejack looked at Granny Smith and Big Mac — they understood. Granny Smith said, “I’m so proud of ya, AJ,” before she and Big Mac trotted out.
The herd shuffled out, following Twilight’s lead. Applebloom screwed up her face when she saw the rest of her family leaving. “Ah don’t wanna go, but if ya need some quiet time Ah’ll leave ya sis.” She turned to hop off of the bed.
Applejack held her tight and spoke in a quiet tone that only her sister could hear, “No Applebloom, Twilight is just giving us some privacy.”
Applebloom looked at her sister and raised one eyebrow. “What for?” The door closed and the aura around it vanished. Quiet settled into the white room. The sound of many hooves tromped down the hallway. Applejack waited for them to fade away before she spoke again.
She took the cowpony hat off of her head and put in on Applebloom. “There’s a story Ah shouldda told ya years ago, but it was jus’ too painful. Ah didn’t want ya ta think... that Ah was a bad sister.”
Applebloom took the hat off and looked at it. “Is this about Mama and Papa? You never told me about ‘em. Ah thought they mighta been bad ponies or somethin’ an’ ya didn’t wanna talk about ‘em.” She placed the cowpony hat on Applejack and said, “This here is your hat AJ. Ah don’t wanna take it from ya. An’ yer not a bad sister — yer the best sister a pony could ever have.”
That made Applejack tighten her hug around her little sister. She squeezed her eyes shut and tears leaked out. “Ah don’t know if Ah deserve this here hat. Ya have no idea what it means fer you ta say that.” She sniffed, “Ah won’t stab ya, Ah didn’t tell ya because Ah was afraid you’d think Ah was a bad sister and Ah didn’t love ya.”
“Why would Ah think that? An’ whaddya mean, stab me?”
“Do ya remember when Ah told ya the story ‘bout how Ah got my cutie mark?” Applebloom nodded. “Well, this here is the story of why Ah left fer Manehatten in the first place...” She held Applebloom like she did many years ago and told her a story that took them late into the night.
She never once took off her hat; she didn’t need to.