Octavia and Vinyl Scratch both shared a look of disbelief as they watched Howard getting blankets and pillows down from his hall linen closet. In his attempts to make his guests comfortable, he thought it would be wise to gather as many blankets and pillows as possible, so that when he came back into the living room he was carrying a stack that reached nearly to the ceiling. It wobbled back and forth as he stepped from the hallway to the living room and then tossed them down in the lounge chair.
"Well, I think this should be enough to make you all nice and comfy," he said grinning. Then noticing that both of the ponies were frowning, he asked, "What?"
"Well," Octavia began, "we were hoping that we could maybe, uh... "
"What we're saying is, we want a bed." Vinyl Scratch stamped her foot on the carpet once to emphasize the demand. “We didn’t have much of a choice last night. But tonight, things will be different!”
"Oh, is that right?" Howard said. "You want a bed?"
"We don't think it's very fair that you put us on the floor. We are your instructors after all." Octavia ended her statement with a smile to neutralize any tension.
"If anypony needs to be on the floor, is should be you, mister." Vinyl was narrowing her eyes at him.
"Whoa, whoa, hold your horses," Howard said bringing his hands up defensively. The two stared at him as if he had just made a derogatory remark. "I'm not putting you on the floor. But short of sleeping in the bed with me, there aren't any other beds here in the apartment. So I'm going to put you both on this." Reaching between the back pillows of the sofa Howard grabbed a small metal handle and pulled, extending the folded up hide-a-bed under the bottom. "It's a folding bed sofa."
Vinyl Scratch looked impressed with the ingenuity of the whole thing and curiously pushed on the mattress with her hoof. Octavia on the other hand was too skeptical to consider it. She gave the mattress a sniff and wrinkled her nose. "It smells funny," she said.
"What do you mean, it smells funny?" Howard gave the bed a cursory glance, then leaned over to give it a whiff. It didn't smell very fresh, sort of had a tangy cloth fragrance that clung to the back of the throat. It had sorely needed to've been aired out on the last really sunny day. Standing back up right, Howard regarded the two ponies, and then grimaced as Vinyl Scratch bounded onto it.
"This isn't too bad," she giggled, then rolled onto her back and splayed herself out immodestly again. "I bet you could put three or four ponies in this bed."
"Well, I'm just glad it's the two of you, " said Howard, doing his best to keep from watching Vinyl. "If I had more ponies, then the world may become unbalanced and everything could blow up."
Octavia stood staring at him for a moment, blinking her eyes. "Is that something that could happen?"
"No," he said, shaking his head. "Alright, I get the point that maybe this mattress could use some cleaning, and it sort of smells like last year's sweaty socks. So I'll make a deal with you."
Rolling over and giving the mattress a sniff, Vinyl conceded that it was rather yucky, and brought a hoof to her nose.
"What is this deal?" Octavia turned her head sideways as she waited for an answer.
"I'll sleep on the floor, and you two can have my bed. Provided you don't do anything weird or strange in it."
"Hey, what sort of ponies do you think we are?" Vinyl said raising herself up from the mattress, and glaring.
"I don't know. You're the first ponies that have ever been in my apartment before; certainly the first ponies that have ever been in my bed before. So I'm not exactly sure what you could do. There might be drooling, or shedding, or any number of things."
Bringing a hoof up, Octavia relented and said, "Okay fine. We won't do anything strange or weird in your bed."
"Thank you. That's all I could ask for."
—|—|—
The floor turned out to be more uncomfortable than Howard ever thought possible, and he ended up standing in the middle of his floor looking at the two ponies setting up right in his bed and shrugging his shoulders. Octavia and Vinyl could only look at him with mild pity as he stood there looking from the floor to the bed, and then eventually, he blew a strong gust of breath through his mouth and glared at his bed with firm resolution.
"Alright, this is how it's going to be." Without further ado, he swooped down and picked his pillow up from the floor and tossed it on the bed next to Vinyl Scratch. He figured that if he had to make a choice, he would pick the side with the pony that wouldn’t find his closeness an obnoxiousness.
"Sweet," Vinyl said rubbing her hooves together. "We get a new sleeping buddy."
“Don’t get too excited,” Howard told her as he wiggled under the covers, and put his arms behind his head. “I’m just wanting to sleep, not play games, or get weird about anything.”
“Yeah, we got that.” Vinyl had her hoof out straight, making slicing motions with it. “Nothing strange, and no drooling.”
“Goodnight,” Howard said, letting out a loud yawn. He was tired. His eyelids felt heavy against his eyes, and the world began to blur and distort as they closed. Maybe it wasn’t so bad having to sleep next to ponies. They were sort of warm, and the bed hadn’t felt this kind of cozy since he’d gotten it.
In a few minutes, there was the discernable sound of snoring coming from Howards side of the bed, and Vinyl was holding her hooves to her ears. “Please tell me I’m not gonna have to listen to the snooze concerto in E flat all night?”
Nudging her slightly with her hoof, Octavia motioned toward Howard.
“I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me,” Vinyl said shaking her head. “Speak up.”
More gestures, and several firm jabs towards Howard.
“I still don’t get it. You want me to punch him in the face?”
“Ugh! You are so bad at this! No, I want you to roll him over, sometimes that helps.” It was too dark for Vinyl to see the scowl on Octavia’s face.
“Oh, well why didn’t you say so.” Then as an after thought, she said, “Wait a minute, who’ve you been turning over in their sleep?”
“Does that really matter right now? Just do it, or you’re going to be the one with the concerto in E flat all night.”
Annoyed, Vinyl sat up in the bed, and scooted closer to Howard. His mouth was open and an unmistakable gurgling could be heard from the depths of his throat.
“This is so gross sounding,” Vinyl said, as she placed her hooves on his shoulder and gently pushed. “It sounds like that time I got plastered and forgot to adjust the compression on Wubby.”
“Vinyl!” Octavia hissed.
“It’s called a mating buffalo sound.”
“Vinyl!”
“Because… uhnn… it makes the amplifier feedback with too much sustain… uhnn… damn this dude is heavy.”
“Vinyl Scratch, I swear to everything sacred and holy I will take an axe to your gear when we get back if you don’t shut up, and get him moved!”
“Alright!” Vinyl roared back over her shoulder before groaning loudly and pushing with all her might.
Her hooves slipped on the fabric of Howard’s shirt, and she slid on top of his chest, causing Howard to rouse up and mumble.
Both ponies froze instantly. This was what he obviously meant about doing something strange, and they didn’t either of them, want to get caught. Watching to make sure that Howard wasn’t fully awake, Vinyl let out a sigh of relief when he closed his eyes, and drifted back to sleep.
“That was too close,” she said, moving her hooves to get better footing so she could get off of him.
It didn’t do any good. Before she could back away, Howard snorted, then reached and wrapped his arms around Vinyl. The two of them now firmly intertwined in Howard’s firm embrace as he rolled over on his side, taking a shocked and terrified pony with him.
Octavia watched in horror as Howard began to cuddle Vinyl. She could make out a hoof here, a muzzle there, and then all was settled. She waited for sounds of movement, but after a few moments all she heard was the sound of Howard begin snoring again.
—|—|—
The next morning, the three of them stood side by side in front of the mirror in Howard’s bathroom. Each of them had a toothbrush, and their expressions went from wide awake and refreshed to that of groggy, and lastly to miserable. The miserable expression going to Vinyl Scratch as she used her magic to suspend the toothbrush and slowly run it inside her mouth.
“I have to say, that I slept pretty good, last night.” Howard had his toothbrush out, and was running it under the water to moisten the bristles more. “Sorry, if I thought you two were going to do anything weird.”
“Oh… it’s no problem,” Octavia said, then cut Vinyl a sideways glance.
Slowly taking the toothbrush from her mouth, Vinyl continued her straight forward stare at the mirror. “I think I was molested last night.”
“Hm?” Howard said, unable to hear her over the sound of the sink faucet, as he turned it up to rinse his brush.
Only vaguely aware of her surroundings, Vinyl’s lack of sleep caused her to miss her mouth with the toothbrush, and she plunged it straight into her eye.
After swishing him mouth with water from the tap, Howard exited the bathroom, whistling. “I’m gonna make us some breakfast,” he said.
“Would you quit acting like a zombie,” Octavia scolded, as Vinyl rubbed at her eye. “You were not molested in your sleep. Fact is, you probably liked it.”
“I could’ve done without the snoring though. It’s always a mood killer.”
“Hey!” Howard said, suddenly peeking back around the corner. Both ponies jumped in surprise. “I was wondering what you’d want for breakfast.”
“Whatever is convenient,” Octavia said.
“What about you, Vinyl?”
For a moment, she actually blushed, then looked down at the floor. “Uh, lots of coffee.”
“Okay.”
“Uh-huh, see there,” said Octavia, noticing the blush as she nudged at Vinyl. “You probably took advantage of poor Howard, and used him to get yourself off. Feeling guilty are we?”
Vinyl had her mouth open wide with an accompanying look of shock with her toothbrush dangled from the inside of her cheek. “Now who's talking vulgar? In case you haven't forgotten here, I'm the victim."
"Oh please. More like the victim of a deep itch; I've been your friend too long to not know when your rubbing one out next to me!"
"You're one to talk. You wouldn't touch yours with a three foot stick—or, wait a minute—maybe you do, and that's why you can't live without Chell."
Vinyl and Octavia were nose to nose at this point. Their eyes were glaring, and their teeth were bared.
"I'm not a pervert!" Vinyl said with a mild growl.
"I'm not a cold fish!" Octavia growled back.
The glaring lasted for a few minutes, and then slowly they each took a deep breath. Octavia was the first to open her mouth, followed immediately by Vinyl Scratch as they quickly wrapped their front hooves around each other and planted their mouths hard against the other's.
"Hey guys, I was wondering if you'd seen my loaf of cranberry... " Howard stopped in his tracks when he rounded the corner to the bathroom. Vinyl and Octavia were still locked in their kiss, and he suddenly felt a rush to his head. "N... never mind."