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„Maybe if we throw something bigger?“ Spike offered .
"I won't throw anything bigger than… that rock I already threw!" Twilight protested.
The saviour of Ponyville was currently hiding in a tree close to her cottage.
"It's your first line of defence," Spike teased, almost a little too happy.
"Go fetch Angel!" Twilight growled, her eyes on the tree "He usually gets this pony moving."
As Spike disappeared, Twilight fought down the urge to fling another rock. The first one just scratched the trunk. Fluttershy was somewhere in the—
"EEEEEEH!" A vanilla pudding-coloured pegasus quickly approached the ground and landed with a low yelp. Seconds later, a pink pony with a combination of cotton candy and a coiffure's worst nightmare of a mane landed next to her.
"I really appreciate that you wanted to help me find some mistletoes for the next winter kissing party, but you can't shake them off by shivering, silly," Pinkie Pie said with a cheerful voice.
"Pinkie, it's summer," Twilight stated, currently busy examining Fluttershy.
"You can never start too soon, Twilight!" announced the party-pony.
"Anyways… are you okay, Fluttershy? That was quite a fall."
Fluttershy's teeth clattered. The pegasus was clearly unable to speak at the moment.
"Ohhh! I get it! It's a game! That's 'Is your harness too tight or do you just walk funny?' in Morse code! What do I win?" Pinkie Pie cheered happily.
Fluttershy on the other hoof slowly assumed a fetal position and continued to transmit a very long and complex message.
"She isn't Morse-ing, Pinkie," Twilight groaned "I just wanted to tell Fluttershy first, that a dragon (clattering frequency increased) is going to stay in Ponyville (increased again) for a little while (reaching the point of dental emergency) and that Fluttershy has the most experience if it comes to dealing with adult dragons. And wow… I think she is digging herself into the ground by shivering. That can't be healthy."
Luckily Spike arrived at that exact moment or Fluttershy would have reached critical frequency in which her cells would have evaporated. That would have made her explode, only to explode again.
Angel immediately jumped off Spike's slightly bruised head and started to move up front of the shivering pony. Lovingly, the bunny allowed himself to trip and held his leg, triggering the only reflex within Fluttershy that was stronger than her dracophobia. Almost in an instant his leg was examined, patched up and kissed better, all while the quiet, gentle pegasus softly told him that all would be fine soon. Angel hopped away happily, but kept close enough, so he could snap his mistress/footstool out of another stupor.
"Well… as I said. A… colleague?" Twilight started, one eye on Spike, who was currently back in his anger phase "Co-being? C… creature of common characteristics?" She finally offered, trying to ignore the fuming dragon. "Anyways, he or she is about to-"
"SHE?" Spike burst out suddenly, his temperament making a 180° turn.
"Well, the princess wasn't too precise on that," Twilight stated, surprised by the change in her assistants demeanour. Suddenly he seemed… contemplating. The unicorn put the thought into the 'catastrophe for after the current one' drawer of her mind and put her focus back on Fluttershy.
"Anyways: A dragon is coming, will stay! No choice!" the magician stated, hoping to get it out quickly "And I would like you to be… on close call… since you can, you know…"
"MORE GUESSING GAMES! Stare down a cockatrice? Befriend a Manticore? Make a grown dragon cry? Stalk on the paws of kindness while wielding the claws of guilt? OH! Pull off a birds nest as a hat!" Pinkie Pie offered with joy.
"All of the above," Twilight sighed, used to worse logical jumps from the element of laughter.
"So… just in case?" Fluttershy asked carefully "I won't have to talk to him or get close to him or, you know, leave the safety of the closet in my locked and barricaded basement as long as he behaves?"
"No, I guess not," Twilight answered, surrender filling her heart. What had she expected?
"I guess I can do that," Fluttershy muttered. She was somewhere between hiding behind her hair and hiding behind something more massive. But once you had Fluttershy's word, it was all you needed.
Twilight said her farewell and left Fluttershy to her new activity of nailing her windows shut and taking measurements of her roof. Probably to fit some anti-air weaponry onto it.
Pinkie Pie followed her in her cheery and jumpy fashion, while Spike was still deep in thought.
"What's on your mind, Spike?" Twilight asked after a short while.
"It's just… it might be a female dragon," the dragon said quietly.
"Oh, Rarity is getting some competition?" Twilight teased with a nudge.
Spike looked at her defiantly "Nothing could ever take her place in my heart!" he proclaimed.
"So, what would it change?" Twilight asked.
"Girls are…" Spike started, his eyes going left and right quickly, as if to ensure Rarity would not materialize suddenly. "Scary…! Male dragons are simple. They don't ask questions, they just kick the stuffing out of you and laugh while you run away. But female dragons… they are… tough."
"Tough?" Twilight asked in surprise.
"Did you ever read the Draconomicon?" Spike finally asked with a sigh.
"I tried…" the unicorn admitted "But last time I checked, I didn't speak Drago… Draco… whatever that language is called. I mean, the letters move!"
Spike rolled his eyes. "Neither do I! Well, at least not very well. But I asked the princess to give me a translated copy. I used it to get the hang of Draconic as well as read up on my kind. Gotta stay in touch with your roots."
"And what did it say about female dragons?" Twilight asked, honest interest in her voice. She could practically smell the things she might learn. Dragons were so mysterious and interesting... Well, the ones that didn't live with her, at least.
"They are a bit bigger and a bit stronger than male dragons. And they don't just fight for their territory. When another female enters, they fight and they usually aren't happy with letting the other one leave without a lasting memento. Not that they kill each others, but the other one will remember." Spike swallowed. "They have to make sure their eggs are safe and all, so they have to be extra threatening. But worse is it whenever a guy comes close." His eyes moved, scanning the area around them quickly, just before he pulled Twilight closer, to whisper: "They might ask them… the questions."
"The what, now?"
"The questions!" Spike stressed "Like, 'How many gems do you have?' 'What have you contributed to society?' Or 'When did you last burn down a kingdom?' In the case of evil dragons only, of course!" He added quickly "And since they are bigger, stronger and tougher than you, you have no choice to answer and answer honestly! They WILL check up on it. And then, they spread the answers amongst each other. That's one of the reasons why we have neutral grounds. Since we are very mobile, once we grow wings, but hardly ever move a lot, this is the only way we can somehow find partners. If some female likes what she hears, she might pay you a visit and ask you to meet on neutral ground for a date."
One of Twilight's eyebrows was about to touch her horn. No wonder he always tries to score a date with a pony. That does sound scary… As soon as one girl runs into him, all the others know everything about him.
"And I am your assistant!" Spike said, stopping dead in his tracks. "I am the minion of a PONY!"
"You're no minion, Spike," Twilight stated, but the little dragon wasn't listening.
"I'll be the laughingstock of my race! 'Isn't that the one who tried to hide in the tree?' 'Didn't he work for a short-lived-equine?' 'Doesn't he have a crush on that gorgeous, yet scaleless girl?' 'Doesn't he have any gems on his own?'" He grabbed Twilight by the mane and pulled her face-to-face. "MY LIFE IS OVER!"
"Spike," Twilight said calmly, resisting the urge to magic-slap him. "You are a baby dragon. Don't you think that you are kind of… underage and not important enough?"
"The book was pretty clear about this part, Twi. No age restriction!" Spike answered, still refusing to let her go. "My only hope is that it's a guy or that she won't notice me!" He suddenly let go and stormed off towards the library, loudly screaming: "I have to get gems into the basement and nail it shut!"
"Four people have heard the news and two are hiding in their basements…" the lilac unicorn mumbled "I just hope that number isn't representative for the rest of town."
"We could hide in the attic to even it out!" Pinkie offered.
"Not helping, Pinkie!"