The Legend of the Titans

by Silent Bob

Chapter VII: Titans Together (Part I)

Wrath and Fluttershy hung over the corpse of Robin, the latter weeping profusely.

She closed her eyes. "He came all this way... all this way just for this."

"If it means anything, he was one mean son of a bitch," Wrath whispered. "I can respect that, I guess. in a way, I can kind of relate. He was pretty intense: nice, I guess, but it was like he was hiding something..."

"W-What do you mean?"

"I dunno..." Wrath grunted. "I just know when someone's been angry for a long time. And he was definitely very angry..."

"He cared about his friends, though," Fluttershy said softly.

"Yeah," Wrath sighed. "He did. And he was right: The Shapeless held its end of the bargain."

Fluttershy glanced at him curiously, wiping away a few tears. "I wonder where it'll go?"

"Anywhere but here," Wrath said coldly. "If it comes back, that'll be the end of it."

She shot him a concerned look. "B-But"

Before Fluttershy could respond further, however, there was a bright flash of light.

The two glanced at each other, their eyes widening.

It came from the direction of the artifact.

...

...

...

"Garfieeeld..."

...

He cringed at the name. "Huh - Whatchu want?"

"Garfieeeeld..."

...

"Ugh... please stop saying my name," he groaned, slowly opening his eyes to a blurry, unknown surrounding. "Oh maaan... someone get me the ibuprofen. Robin's going to kill me if he finds out I've been drinking..."

There was an odd, familiar giggle. He rapidly shook his head, though the room remained blurry.

"Actually, um - by that I mean - get me all the ibuprofen... Starfire's going to have to buy more if she wants to make her 'healing cupcakes' again..."

"Sorry, Beast Boy, but there's none of that here," the voice said casually.

His face became absolutely panicked. "You mean she used it all?!"

"Not exactly," it chuckled, and this time Beast Boy noticed it was definitely female. "Come on man, don't you know who I am?"

"Sorry... ears aren't working right..." he sighed. "Cus there's no way you are who I think you are..."

She paused.

"In a way, I'm not..." she said softly. "But that isn't necessarily a bad thing, is it? It's a fresh start, here... all the reminders of the past - all gone."

"What are you talking about?" he grunted. "You're just some bad late-night nachos created figment of my imagination..."

Finally, his vision came into view, revealing the humanoid figure who stood before his fallen, achy body. He was in some sort of cave, though none he had ever seen before. The walls were covered in strange, glowing runes, and behind him, he heard a strange, ethereal whooshing sound, like a ghostly wind blowing through the winters' trees.

"Terra..." he said, glancing at her unforgettable features. "Man, my mind can be such a dick sometimes. Hey brain! She doesn't like you anymore... let her go. She just wants a normal life..."

"Pretty trippy dream if that's true," she chuckled.

Beast Boy managed a slight shrug. "I've had worse. There was this one time where I couldn't switch out of dog mode, and I totally got sent to the SPCA.... none of my friends would come and adopt me. Even worse, they fed me Kibbles and Bits! That stuff totally has meat in it! So horrible... that was the bad kind of trippy."

"Heh, yeah, I remember you telling me about that one time," she said. "Didn't you have another one the night after where you and Starfire-"

His eyes widened in horror. "Uhhhhh.... was I drunk when I told you that? Please tell me I didn't really-"

"Relax," she smiled, kneeling down towards him. "We all have our fantasies, even if reality can sometimes top them by a mile..."

"Huh?"

Terra cocked her head to the side. "Stand up... take a look around you."

Slowly - cringing slightly, Beast Boy made it to his... hooves?

"Hmmmm..." he muttered. "Well, this isn't the first time I've dreamed that I was an animal..." He then grinned. "Haha! Man, I just realized that one song totally applies to me!"

Terra grinned, before singing: "I change shapes just to hide in this place but I'm still, I'm still, an animal?"

"That song is so beast!" he chirped, before cringing slightly. "Er uh - no pun intended."

"You are such a dork, you know that?" Terran chuckled, sticking her tongue out.

He frowned slightly. "Hey! I'm not a dork! I'm a geeky... guy thing. Big difference!" He then coughed. "But yeah - as I was saying... I mean - I've had plenty of dreams where I've been an animal, but uh - am I a giant horse-bug... thing?" he said, glancing down at his hole-filled legs. "I mean, seriously, why are there holes in my legs?"

"You'll find out soon enough," she said.

"Heh, maybe," he shrugged. "You know - I'm kind of glad you're here in a way, HalluciTerra. You're sort of guiding me through the Twilight Zone."

"By Twilight Zone you mean the best show ever?"

Beast Boy gave another chuckle. "'I've had it with these mother trucking gremlins... on this mother trucking plane!' - The Shat."

"Hell yeah!"

"The original was always soooo the greatest," Beast Boy sighed. "But yeah - alright... game time."

Beast Boy then took another glance around the cave, before raising an eyebrow. To his confusion, lying nearby were some familiar forms... well - somewhat. Like him, they all seemed to have transformed, but they all had something in common. Starfire was some sort of... winged pony thing. Raven was her normal gothic self, only a unicorn. And Cyborg was a.... robo-regular pony. There was no sign of Robin.

Beast Boy could barely contain himself. "Pfffft...."

It didn't last long.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!.!.!" he cried. "Oh my - HAHAHA! Jesus this is... what the hell?! Seriously! HAHAHA!" He began to take deep breaths. "Alright, mind - I apologize. You rock! You are the best! This is the most hilarious dream I've ever had!"

"I know, right?" Terra said, laughing along with him. "Look at Starfire's wings!"

"She's so adorable! And oh my god... I hope Raven will wake up sometime soon, too. I can't wait to see the look on her face when we find a dreamland-mirror or whatever!"

"Beast Boy... when you wake up: I'm sending you to another dimension for this," Terra said with her best Raven impression.

"Pfffft - hahaha!" he laughed, wiping away a tear or too. "But hey - how come you're not a pony too, though, Terra?"

...

Slowly, the smile began to fade from her face.

"Terra?"

"It's complicated," she whispered. "But Beast Boy... ask yourself this. If this was a dream, how come it's so... vivid?"

"I dunno," he shrugged, furrowing his brow. "Maybe it's one of those lucid dreams Raven always talks about or something."

"Are you sure of that?" she said, glancing behind him. "Then tell me... can you control anything in this dream?"

Beast Boy blinked. "Well... kind of."

"By that I mean - can you control the world around you... when you think something, does it happen?"

His eyes widened in delight. "Woah- you mean you can do that in lucid dreams?"

She nodded.

"Oh heck yeah!" he grinned. "Alright mind: make me a... tofu sub. Extra mayo. And uh - some avocados too."

...

Nothing happened.

"Maybe I just need to concentrate harder," he pondered. "Come on Beast Boy... USE THE FORCE! HNNNNNNGGGG-"

Nope.

"Huh," he blinked. "Am I doing something wrong, Terra?"

"No, Beast Boy," she said softly, giving him a warm smile. "You're doing everything right."

"Man - you act like Terra - but when did you get all subtle and stuff?" he moaned.

Her smile did not fade. "Cus that's what awesome guides do, like Dumbledore!"

"Huh - good point," Beast Boy nodded. "But wait- guide?! Seriously..."

She merely nodded. "When needed." She took a deep breath, again smiling at him. "I have to go now, though. Look for me. Remember me. And I will always remember you."

Suddenly, as Beast Boy gasped, she began to fade. "Wait, Terra! Don't go... you were making this dream all the more awesome!"

There was a twinkle in her eyes... she glanced at him curiously. "I never said this was a dream."

And a second later, she vanished.

"Terra!" Beast Boy cried, galloping after her. "Wait! Come on... this doesn't make any sense!" His eyes widened. "Woah- HEY!"

He screeched to a halt, nearly colliding with a yellow... winged pony thing who he suddenly found right in front of him. His face was nearly an inch before her own.

He coughed. "Um- hi?"

She shivered, not saying a word.

He scratched the back of his... strangely, non-furry head. "Er... sorry about that. It's just... guess you can say I was chasing a ghost, heh..."

Again... she seemed to be frozen in fear.

"Ugh- what am I doing?" he grunted, turning away from her. "Talking to a dream-pony-thing made by my crazy mind..."

He then turned back to her, sighing. "Might as well play along I guess." He held out a hole-filled hoof. "Hello yellow dream pony thing who is slightly petrified by me. My name is Beast Boy. Have you seen a 5'3 blonde human girl running around anywhere?"

"..."

"Mare of few words, aren't you." His eyes then widened. "Haha! Oh my god. I'm starting to like this dream. Horse-puns aplenty!"

Finally, the newcomer made a tiny squeak.

"I'm um... F-Fluttershy..."

Beast Boy's eyes widened in delight. "Woah, so you can talk?! Weeeeiiird. I dunno why I thought you could, but now that I know you can: that's um... that's pretty wild! No other animals like talking to me... even when I'm in their forms... then again, I guess this is a dream..."

He then glanced at her wings, squinting slightly. "Heyy.... wait a minute. I think I saw you in Hercules! You're the type of horse he rode on... a pegasus or something, right?"

She glanced at him again, more curious than frightened. "Um... yes... but..."

"What's up?!" Beast Boy smiled.

"I just want to ask..."

"Come on: no need to be shy," he smiled. "Even if that's in your name. Oh my god, that is the most adorable name ever, then!"

"Do you... know Robin?"

Beast Boy furrowed his brow. "Maaaan... they always want his autograph over mine. Stupid him-being-Batman's-sidekick-and-all..."

"So... you do know him?" she asked, growing more lax.

"Well duh! We're practically brothers!" he grinned, causing her to flinch slightly. "Oh- sorry, didn't mean to sound mean. I just lose control of what I say sometimes."

"I-It's alright," she said, smiling slightly now, before glancing behind him. "Are those... those are the Teen Titans, aren't they?"

"Yeah!" Beast Boy said, chuckling. "I can't wait til they wake up. Raven's going to freak now that she's a- uh..."

"Unicorn?" she said.

"Yeah - that! It's weird, though... I still don't know what I'm supposed to be. I mean - I think I'm a horse, but I'm like... a horse with holes in my legs. What's up with that? It's kind of creepy to be honest..."

"It's- It's why I was a little nervous when I saw you," Fluttershy whispered.

"Huh?"

"You're a changeling," she stated.

He grinned. "You bet! I'm the changeling! Hah - suck it Robin! I have fans, too!" He then cringed. "Oh right - I have fans in my dreams - very funny, brain."

She shook her head. "Nonono... I know you're able to turn into animals and stuff... but you look like a changeling. Though I guess you wouldn't know what one is..."

Beast Boy glanced at her oddly. "Yeah..." he said, nodding slowly. "Man - this is the strangest dream ever... I should become a writer or something if I'm really this creative..." he muttered to himself.

He then began to turn around, glancing at his friends. "Man - why aren't they waking up? Is this a nightmare or something? Cus it's really not been that creepy up until- WOAH- WHAT IS THAT?!"

Before his eyes was a sight not to be taken for granted. It sort of looked like a miniature Stargate... from the television show.

"DUUUUUUDE!" he cried, rushing towards it and halting right before it. "Is this - OH MY GOD! A friggin' Stargate?! I can't believe this! Best. Dream. Ever!"

"W-Wait!" Fluttershy squeaked, rushing to his side. "D-Don't try touching it... don't even stand near it too long. It's not what it looks like. I mean, um - sorry to sound so bossy, but... it looks different to everyone."

"Ugh... and the dream just turned from awesome to confusing again..." Beast Boy muttered. "Now, where's the dialing device?! I'm heading to Stargate Command, baby!"

Fluttershy actually gave a groan. "It's not a... Stargate, whatever that is. It's an artifact. The Artifact, and like I said, it looks different to everyone. To me it looks like a flower..."

"Huh - that's kind of cool, I guess," Beast Boy shrugged. "But if it's not a Stargate - what's so special about it?"

Fluttershy took a deep breath, closing her eyes. "It's how you got here..." She then glanced directly at him. "Beast Boy... I know what you think this is, but it isn't. This... is not a dream."

Beast Boy rolled his eyes. "Yeah... uh huh. That's what all dreams say... I think."

"Your friend thought the same thing too," she whispered. "Believe me: this is really happening. It's a new world... for you, at least."

"Robin thought what?" another voice groaned, this one coming from Cyborg.

Beast Boy turned towards him, ignoring Fluttershy for now. He had a certain mischievous look in his eyes.

"Hehehe..." Beast Boy smirked. "What's up, dream Cyborg! You up for a little... horsein' around."

"What...?" he blinked.

"Oh nothing," the changeling continued. "Just saying... what the hay are you doing sleeping at a time like this?"

He let loose a snicker.

Fluttershy put on a blank look.

"Oh come on!" he moaned at her. "You're a pony - you have to think these are funny!"

"Beast Boy... have you lost your mind?" he grunted. He then blinked. "Wait - nope, it's probably me."

"Why do you say that?" Beast Boy smirked.

"Cus, for one thing - you're a weird pony-wasp hybrid right now with holes in your legs, and you're standing next to a yellow pegasus with a tattoo on her flank. That's why I'm saying that."

Fluttershy eeped slightly, before looking away from him.

Beast Boy gave a grunt. "You're a major buzzkill sometimes, Cy, even in my dreams..."

"Yeah... uh-huh," he muttered. He paused, squinting in thought as he slowly stood up. "Crap... I feel like I need a major H-Grease change... possibly some other repairs. I'd better run a diagnostic."

Beast Boy stifled a laugh.

"What the hell is so funny?" Cyborg grunted. "And since when could you talk in animal form-" A look of shock struck him. "Awwww crap... something is wrong with me. I might have to visit S.T.A.R. labs later, even..."

"Why's that?" Beast Boy sniggered.

"Cus my internal diagnostic images seem to think that I've taken on a..."

His eyes widened as he suddenly glanced down.

"Oh hell- visuals too?!"

Finally, Beast Boy lost it. "And he realizes it! Oh my - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Yeah, very funny wasp-boy," Cyborg grunted. "Am I imagining this?!"

Beast Boy shook his head, still giggling. "Oh my god - you're so much like the real Cyborg - it's too much!"

"You really think this is a dream, don't you?" Cyborg grunted. "Beast Boy - this can't be a dream."

"Why do you say that?" he asked. "How else could this be possible! You're a friggin' Cy-pony for god sake!"

"I know it isn't a dream because I can't have dreams! I disabled those programs years back..."

Beast Boy raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Personal reasons," he said in a sorrowful tone. "But I dunno - maybe it's some weird illusion,. Mad Mod was good with those. He must be getting a kick out of this one..." He then winced in thought. "But... if that's true, how the heck did he get inside my computer systems? Convince my insides that I've literally-"

His eyes widened in shock, he began to pace about the room. As he did, Beast Boy was starting to look more and more worried.

"Cyborg...?" he gulped. "You're really starting to weird me out, bro."

He shook his head in disbelief. "Shush."

...

Beast Boy tapped a hoof. "What is it?" He then looked at Fluttershy. "Grumpy sometimes, isn't he?"

She merely sighed.

...

After a few minutes later, Cyborg slowly looked back at him. "Yeah... got some news: we're not in Kansas anymore, buddy."

Beast Boy glanced at him as if he had gone mad. "Wah? How do you know that?!"

"I just checked my GPS status," Cyborg said. "As well as my time signatures and video logs."

"Well - what'd you find out?" Beast Boy shivered.

A beat.

"Nothing. I found nothing," Cyborg whispered. "My GPS isn't working at all, and it never breaks down. In fact, it isn't even detecting any satellites!"

"B-But that's nuts!" Beast Boy said. He suddenly gave a dramatic gasp. "Oh no! Is there an evil alien invasion force trying to cripple our DirectTV?! THOSE BASTARDS!"

Cyborg face-hoofed. "No, it's not that. My time signature is all out-of-whack, too." He glanced back at Beast Boy, awe-struck. "Man... according to these readings, fifty-five trillion years have passed since I last checked it, and my video logs stopped recording after the first billion!"

"WOAH!" Beast Boy cried, before scratching his head. "Wait - how long is that?"

"That's over four-thousand times the age of the universe... at least when I last checked it," Cyborg said, baffled. "But at that time, there shouldn't be any universe left! All of the stars, even the red dwarfs, should have burned out by now... where in the name in hell are we?!"

"Duuuuuude, talk about turning out all the lights!" Beast Boy shouted. "This can't be happening! This is a dream, righ- AAAAAACK!"

Cyborg gave a grunt, shocking him with a miniature taser device.

"WOAH! What the hell?! A pinch could have worked too, you know!"

"No fingers," Cyborg smirked. "And if I hear one more thing about this being a dream... it's going up a few volts. Besides, that's kind of creepy. How often do you dream about us in pony forms, anyway?!"

"This is the first time!" Beast Boy cried. "I swear! I mean, you were all squids onc-"

"WHAT?! That's it, I'm busting open your mind to take a look in there!"

"Dude, what?! I can't control what my mind does!"

"Um..." Fluttershy squeaked, raising a hoof.

The two either ignored her or couldn't hear her.

"That's the problem! That and you've been looking at too much hentai-"

"WHAT?! That's just nasty, man!"

"Yuh huh..."

"STOP!" Fluttershy finally shouted.

The two glanced at her, their eyes widening.

...

"H-Hi," she waved, simpering slightly.

"Holy crap," Cyborg said, face-hoofing again. "Um... sorry. I guess I was so sucked into finding out what happened I forgot we had a... guest."

"Yeah, dude!" Beast Boy cried.

"Shut up, you were doing it too," Cyborg growled, before turning back to her and smiling. "Hey uh- could you tell us what happened? Where are we? How did we get here?"

"Get where?" the distinct voice of Raven groaned.

"Yes, please! I much to desire to know why I now support two adorable little wings!" Starfire beamed.

"Awwww man," Beast Boy pouted. "I thought they'd flip out more..."

"I was turned into a rabbit once," Raven said, deadpan as usual. "Sorry to disappoint you, but this is business as usual."

"Heh," Beast Boy said, grinning sheepishly. "I forgot about that..."

In the meantime, Fluttershy glanced at the duo with absolute awe.

"Um... please tell me that isn't Robin," Raven groaned.

"Oh um - no..." she whispered, a look of guilt on her face. "I-I'm actually called Fluttershy. Are you... Raven?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Yeah..."

Fluttershy then put on a slight smile, gazing at Starfire. "And you're... Starfire?"

Her eyes literally began to shimmer in delight. "That I am, my adorable little creature!" she squealed, soaring into the air. "I can't believe I didn't notice you before!"

"Star, she's the same size as you," Beast Boy mentioned. "And man - you sure took to those wings quickly..."

Raven gave him a blank look. "That - I'm not even going to comment on that."

Starfire then soared down in front of the pegasus, causing her to squeak in shock. "Tell me - who are you?! What is your name?! How can you talk?! Were you always a pony and wouldyouliketobemyfriendpleasepleaseplease!?"

The other Titans sweat-dropped.

"Easssy... Star," Cyborg said, slowly pulling her away from the yellow pony. "Let's let the pony give us the rundown... and not give her a heart attack." He then glanced at her curiously. "Still - how do you know who we are?"

She gulped slightly, closing her eyes. "Well- um..."

Cyborg gave her a friendly smile. "Easy - we're not accusing you of anything... we're just a little confused..."

"Yes, we require much information!" Starfire squeaked joyously. "Most importantly: are there other adorable little ponies around?!"

"Keep this up and she'll probably never tell us," Raven moaned.

"Star... one step at a time," Cyborg sighed, before glancing back at Fluttershy. "So... what's up?"

...

"We would really appreciate the help," Raven said. "Ms..."

"Fluttershy," Beast Boy smirked.

Starire's jaw nearly dropped to the ground. "TARA SIYE'L! KLORTA SHEEAAASH!.!.! SOOOOOO CUUUUUTTEEEEEE- MMMMMFFFFF-"

Beast Boy suddenly threw a hoof over her mouth. "Ehehe... go on."

"Ms. Fluttershy," Raven said, a vein pulsing in her forehead. "You're our first step to finding the way home... if you could be so kind."

The rest of the Titans gave her pleading eyes... save for Starfire who was currently trying with all her might to resist a 'squee' eruption.

...

Finally, Fluttershy took a deep breath and closed her eyes, before finally saying:

"Well... I suppose I should start at the beginning," she said softly. "I um - maybe I could lead you out of here, first, though... if you could follow me - if you don't mind..."

So they began to follow her.

"Huh - well that's cool," Cyborg said.

"What - you didn't think there'd be an outside world?" Raven said, with just a hint of a smirk.

"Kind of," he said. "Hope it isn't just some cold wasteland."

"Oh no," Fluttershy smiled brightly. "There's no tundra near Ponyville."

"PONYVILLE?!" Starfire nearly gasped, panting. "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-"

The caverns practically shook at the sound of it before Beast Boy could clamp her mouth shut again. "Sorry about that."

"So... we're in a place filled with... ponies?" Raven said, lifting an eyebrow. "Weird."

"Mhmmm," Fluttershy said, again with a slightly sorrowful tone. "He... he did want me to give you a warm welcome..."

Starfire began to calm down at that point, a worried look overtaking her. "W-Who did?"

"Your leader - Robin," Fluttershy whispered.

"Yo, Robin's here, too?!" Cyborg grinned. "Where's my boy at?!"

Fluttershy suddenly halted, an extremely guilt-ridden look on her face.

"He um..." she said, her throat clenching up. "I'm really sorry but- he... he..."

Tears actually began to form in her eyes.

"Oh no..." Beast Boy whispered, gulping.

Raven closed her eyes, looking away.

Cyborg's expression merely turned as blank as a stone.

As Fluttershy continued to hold back tears, Starfire flew down next to her, before laying a comforting wing on her.

"Please... I know it may hurt, but I must know... where is Robin?"

...

The Titans looked at her with pain-staken expressions... it was almost as if they knew what was coming. Finally, without even looking at them, Fluttershy whispered:

"G-Gone?"

Her eyes widened.

The Titans froze in place.

Beast Boy raised an eyebrow. "Wait - by gone, do you mean gone gone, gone to the dark side, gone with the wind, or... like... really gone?"

She quickly shook her head. "Gone! He was just- he was-" She then put on a tremendous smile. "He... I can sense him?! Oh my... I know where he is!"

Starfire grinned like a maniac. "Please! Can you tell us where?!"

"Yes! This way!" Fluttershy called, galloping towards the cave exit.

The Titans kept up and then-some.

"Oh hell yeah, you know what this calls for!" Cyborg cackled. "Even the end of the universe gets to hear it!"

"Titans, go?" Beast Boy suggested.

"Pffft - wah?! That's Robin's thing," Cyborg grinned. "You know what I'm talking about!"

"Awwww yeah!" Beast Boy grinned. "Do it, dude!"

"Please don't," Raven moaned. "We don't want to cause a cave-in..."

"Doitdoitdoit!" Beast Boy begged.

Cyborg took a deep breath, and bellowed:

"BOOYAAAA!.!.!"

...

...

...

Fluttershy blinked slightly. "Um- what does that mean, anyway?"

Raven shook her head. "Don't ask..."

"Pffft, come on. I can tell her!" Cyborg smirked. "It's a cry of excitement. Something you say when you're about to get it on, or get things done! It is an adjective for awesome! It is Cyborg's numba one battle cry. IT! IS!-"

Raven cringed. "I hate you."

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!.!.!"

Four thousand miles away, a single eye looked upon an image... one being transmitted by a tiny, mosquito sized drone.

...

...

"Hello again, Titans. It's been a long time..." he said softly.

His eye narrowed.

"Far too long." He then glanced another familiar figure. "Apprentice! Ready the drones. We have work to do!"

A pair of yellow eyes narrowed above a wicked grin.

"With pleasure."