Pinkie Pie
I hummed an upbeat tune, bouncing along the streets of Ponyville. The streets were bustling to the brim with local townsponies out for their daily stroll through the market, greeted with the sights and aromas of deliciously fresh legumes ripe and ready for eating. Mr. Cake had sent me on a mission for some carrots, which he needs to complete his infamous carrot cake.
The booth was in sight, just beyond a crowd of ponies fighting their way through in every which direction. I drew a deep breath and plunged head-first into the sea of shoppers, wincing as I received several elbows or bumps as |I jostled my way through. It would be worth it! Mr. Cake promised me the first slice if I ran this errand for him. I could feel myself salivate at the very thought of that rich texture, that creamy home-made carrot frosting, the perfect dash of salt to bring out the flavor -- Pinkie! Get a hold of yourself!
I made my escape and galloped to the booth. A stout mare with a few streaks of white running through her strawberry blonde mane. She gave me a kind smile as I scanned through the several bundles of carrots. When you're a baker, you train your eye to spot things no other pony would detect; you can tell when there is just enough flour, perhaps a dash too much of a spice... but in this case, it was the length and plumpness of each carrot in their consecutive bundle.
Settling on a decent group of carrots, I tossed a couple bits onto the counter and skipped off.
Hmm. I couldn't help but wonder why everypony was staring at me so funny... it appeared as if they were terrified of me. A few screams here and there, and ponies scattered around me, galloping away as fast as they could. It hit me, they weren't staring at me. They were staring behind me.
Before I even had the chance to turn my head, I felt a hoof on my shoulder spin me around.
"Pinkie! It's me, Twilight." the mare said.
"Hey, Twilight. What'sh up?" I managed through my mouth full of carrots. Twilight gave me a solemn look.
"Okay, Pinkie Pie. I'm going to show you something and don't scream or run away." Twilight pressed her hoof against my chest, narrowing her eyes at me. "And don't pull the same thing you did with Luna on Nightmare Night. Got that?" I blinked. It wasn't often that Twilight used such a stern tone with me.
"Okie dokie lokie!" I nodded, unfazed by her serious intentions. Twilight nodded and turned her head away, waving a hoof to some abandoned booth.
"You can come out now, Lemongrab!" she called. Who in the hay is Lemongrab? That doesn't sound like anypony I know. He must be new! Oh my goodness!
Indeed, he was not anything like I expected. He certainly wasn't like anypony I knew. He wasn't a pony at all! He stood on two slim legs, wore a weird grey suit with a sash, and had the head of an overgrown lemon with a long, pointed nose. He strode towards me until he and Twilight were side-by-side.
He said in a scratchy and sort of annoying voice (and that is saying something, because someponies find my voice annoying! Can you believe it?), "Hello. Twilight Sparkle tells me you are the one who can show me how to experience 'fun'." It took me a moment to fully process his words. A moment passed before I nodded my head.
"Yupperoo! That'd be me, Pinkie Pie! My talents include party-planning, making sweets, singing and song-writing and partying hard! And you are?" I beamed, every talent I described was accompanied by a vigorous action. Twilight rolled her eyes and gave me a knowing smile. The lemon man simply stared at me with unblinking eyes, his lips curved into a perpetually disapproving frown.
"I am the Earl of Lemongrab, co-ruler of the lemon people in the land of Ooo." he stated, still fixing his gaze on me. I blinked in confusion, as if clearing my vision would produce more clarity in what I'd heard. Lemon people? Ooo? It sounded like gibberish. And not even the kind of gibberish I understand!
"Earl of huh-what?"
"Here, let me clear things up," Twilight said, nonchalantly kicking a pebble aside before she continued. "Lemongrab here travelled all this way in search of me. Apparently he needs me to teach him the magic of friendship, So I thought: what better way to show him then for all my friends to give them a lesson on their individual Element of Harmony." Twilight grinned, but it soon faded to be replaced by an uneasy smile. "I would start things off, but the library needs me. Could you take him for the day?"
Without a moment's hesitation, I chimed in, "I'd be more than happy to, Twi! I have the weekend off except for this one errand I'm running, and then I'm free to hang out with him!" The purple unicorn gave me a grateful smile and turned the other way.
"Thanks a bunch Pinkie! Just drop him off at the library when you're done." she called back as she trotted away. I shouted back as I waved my hoof, watching as the silhouette of Twilight turned vanished behind a cluster of houses.
Lemongrab was the first to speak among the two of us, saying he was excited to learn the art of fun. Otherwise, the trip home was rather short and silent. We soon arrived at Sugarcube Corner, the lively decorations and mouth-watering goodies on display were always a welcome sight. I trotted in, Lemongrab walking by my side. Mrs. Cake was sitting at the counter, flipping through some romance novel. She was so enthralled by this book, in fact, that she hardly noticed when the jingle of the bell at the door rang. Ahem. I cleared my throat, loudly enough to jar Mrs. Cake from her reverie. She glanced up, a sheepish smile on her face.
"Oh, hi, Pinkie!" she greeted quickly, hurriedly turning her attention back to her story. She hadn't even noticed the tall, walking lemon creature enter her bakery and make his way up the stairs to my room.
* * *
"Okay, Lemongrab, sir," I began, addressing the Earl that sat with his legs crossed on my carpeted floor. "Let's throw us a party! That'll be a great way to learn about fun! Okie dokie lokie?"
"Okie... dokie... lokie...." Lemongrab agreed, struggling with my odd choice of words.
I admit, he wasn't the most cooperative person. He was so darn serious, always surveying his surroundings with an unimpressed frown. Nevertheless, he was helpful. He seemed to really like lists -- much like Twilight -- so I gave him the job of checking off the endless column of decorations and food we would need to really send this party off with a bang.
"Streamers?" he muttered, to which I nodded vigorously and pointed to the thin pink and blue strips of paper draped from the ceiling. He scribbled a checkmark into the box beside the words, the faintest smile gracing and hen fading from his lips in a matter of a second. His eyes wondered down to the next component of our welcome party. "Glitter...?" he said, narrowing his eyes. "Why do you need 'glitter'? That seems unnecessary."
I giggled briefly before replying, "Sometimes, life is just full of unnecessary but fun things. If everything in life was just mandatory, life wouldn't be that exciting." Lemongrab's eyes widened and his jaw dropped, revealing a lemony tongue. The pen clattered to the floor noisily, rolling off beneath my bed.
"It... all makes sense." he mumbled before touching a finger gingerly to the corners of his smile. "Is this what fun feels like, Pink One?"
* * *
I eyed the analog clock rested on my wall, listening to the drone of clicks and tick-tocks as the minutes faded away. One more minute and it would be eight o' clock: time for the party to start. Ever since we had finished preparing, Lemongrab had refused to budge from his spot near the door downstairs.
"Okay, I'll bite... what are you doing?" I asked as I trotted down the stairs, doing a spin around the banister before joining him at his post.
"Waiting for the guests." he grunted. "It is almost party time." As soon as he had finished hid sentence, a loud rapping came from the door. Lemongrab just stared at me, frozen stock-still as the knock came again.
"Well?" I said, urging him on with a tilt of my head. "Answer it! It's a guest."
"What if I do it wrong?" he inquired, genuinely worried. This received a facehoof.
"Look," I sighed, my cheery tone of voice vanishing for a moment. "there is no wrong way to answer a door -- except to NOT answer it. Ergo, you're doing it wrong." Lemongrab gave me onhe final pleading look before he gently grasped the door knob and pulled the door open, revealing a familiar mare with a marshmallow-white coat and a purple mane curled to perfection. She batted her lashes, peering out from beneath a monstrous yet fashionable new chapeau, which sported two tall peacock feathers.
"Rarity!" I exclaimed, pulling her into a hug. She beamed as she stepped into the house.
"Pinkie Pie! How good it is to see you! I cannot even begin to explain how I've been missing your delightful soirees of late." Rarity greeted, pouting and placing a hood dramatically to her forehead as she recounted the dreadful shortage of well-deserved partying.
I nodded with understanding. "Yeah, I promise I won't go that long without a party ever again! Life was starting to get... boring!" I gasped. A glimpse of the tip of a yellow nose reminded me of the surprise guest, whom stood awkwardly behind the open door, not daring to reveal himself until welcomed. "Oh! And this..." I chimed and I pulled Lemongrab out from his hiding place, "is the Earl of Lemongrab, from Ooo."
Rarity blinked her eyes, which had grown as large as saucers at the sight of this creature. "Oh." she managed through her shock. "I see. And why is he here?" she asked as she plastered on a fake smile.
"I am here to learn about the magic of -" Lemongrab paused, glimpsing down to a word written in permanent marker on his hand. He read it aloud. "Friendship."
"Oh?" Rarity's eyes glistened, not unlike how they wound when she had one of her infamous 'eureka' moments. "Why, how ever are you doing that?" I stifled a knowing smile. This was just like Rarity, chatting up the guests, mingling, perhaps convincing them to spare some of their precious time so they can model for her.
"The Elements of Harmony." he said rather bluntly. "Pink One is teaching me about Laughter."
"I'm Pinkie Pie!" I corrected.
"I don't know who will show me the other ones..."
"Well, darling. I would be simply delighted if you dropped by my boutique tomorrow at noon. Perhaps we could discuss Generosity over some tea? Oh, and I picked up the most scrumptious scones you will ever taste. I had received some previously from my mother, but..." Rarity trailed off. "Well, the poor darling can't cook to save her life."
As the two chatted, I answered the door several times as the guests slowly but surely arrived. Twilight Sparkle stood at the door, a surprised grin on her face as she saw Lemongrab happily talking away. Rainbow Dash soon arrived, followed by Fluttershy, whom let out a faint cry for help when she saw Lemongrab. Applejack arrived a short while after, apologizing profusely and blaming 'that darned escaped sheep' for her tardiness.
Each friend took a moment or two to adjust to the new presence of a talking lemon creature, but soon they joined him as he helped himself to the punch and freshly-baked brownies I had prepared. I took a moment to congratulate myself on my success. Job well-done, Pinkie! He's actually having fun.
My satisfied reverie was broken by a shrill cry.
"UNACCEPTABLE!" Lemongrab screamed, flailing his limbs at a very startled Rainbow Dash. "This behaviour is UNACCEPTABLE! THREE MINUTES DUNGEON!" The room fell silent, save for his shrieks. Twilight shot me a concerned glance. I trotted slowly to Lemongrab's side, placing a hoof on his arm. He pulled away, rubbing his arm like I had burned him.
"What did I do?" Rainbow yelped. "I was just dancing..."
"EXACTLY! It was not the time to dance. 8:30 is the time to dance. It is 8:24. 3 minutes dungeon for your ignorance of party rules." Lemongrab explained, his temper clearly boiling in his throat. I tried not to laugh, and a quick glance around the room proved my friends were doing the same. All this fuss over 'dancing'? Rainbow Dash chortled aloud.
"Ha! You had me for a second! You're funny, dude." she snickered, getting up from her shrinking position. Twilight glared at Rainbow, whispering a quick 'shut up. He's serious.'. Lemongrab's eyes narrowed, his lips pursed. He released a noise that I struggle to place into letters. Something like a 'mmmmyeaaaaayyh.' Before anyone in the room could lunge forward to stop him, the lemon had grabbed the cyan Pegasus by her mane and was slowly dragging the struggling mare to a corner in the room. He set her down and took out a permanent marker, presumably the same one he had used to write notes on friendship with, and began to write on the corner of the wall. I stared in horror as my bedroom wall was desecrated. Mrs. and Mr. Cake would kill me if they found this!
In thick, bold letters, the word read: DUNGEON. He had made the corner a dungeon. He then turned to the sniffling Rainbow Dash, whom was still rubbing her sore head.
"3 minutes dungeon. You may come out in 3 minutes." he warned, holding up three long fingers to the Pegasus. Rainbow nodded vigorously, shrinking into the corner with a pathetic squeak that could give Fluttershy a run for her money.